Today is a blessing. A day of celebration. A day to acknowledge the love in my heart for my husband in front of all our family and friends. Suddenly, I’m dying to throw myself into the moment so I don’t miss a single minute. “Let’s go,” I tell the others, my voice sturdy and strong. “It’s time to marry my man all over again.”
Ruby, Mel, and Lily walk in front of me in their knee-length light pink satin gowns. My fingers clutch the ribbon at the base of the bunch of white roses I hold. My other arm is looped through Dad’s. He looks dashing in his tuxedo, and unbridled emotion wells inside me. I hope I can get through the ceremony without breaking down.
Memories of our Greek wedding flit to the surface of my mind and I smile inwardly. It was so perfect, so special, and I will cherish it until the day I die. Today will be so different, but equally special, I hope.
“You doing okay, honey?” Dad asks, squeezing my arm.
“Yeah. I just hope I don’t cry.”
Ruby glances at me over her shoulder. “Everyone cries at weddings. Don’t worry about that.” Leaning back, she pats my arm in reassurance.
“What if I ruin my makeup?” I raise a brow.
“Hmm,” she says, her brow furrowing. “Maybe try not to cry until after everyone has seen how amazing you look.”
I snort, and everyone laughs, and it helps to ease the tension.
As we step outside our beautiful home and make our way down to the garden, I take a minute to fully appreciate my surroundings. Rose Cottage was my father-in-law’s wedding gift to us. Cal had been utterly gobsmacked when his dad first brought us here.
He had no idea the place existed.
Turns out, Nate had originally built the house as a planned wedding present for my mom. When she left him for my dad, he locked the house up and pretty much threw away the key. Though it represented all that he had lost, he told us that he could never find it in his heart to sell the place. I still tear up every time I think about it.
I’d like to think that Mom would approve. Be glad of the fact that Nate’s gift ended up passing to her daughter instead of rotting away, unused.
We spent six months renovating it ourselves, and now I can’t imagine ever living anywhere else.
The piano starts up and I’m jolted out of my head. “Ready, honey?” Dad says, stopping at the entrance to the large white marquee now occupying prime position in our vast garden. He peers into my eyes, and I almost collapse under the intensity of his emotional gaze. I swallow the large lump at the base of my throat and push my panic down, drawing a deep breath. I nod and smile weakly.
At first, I’m hugely conscious of everyone turning in their seats to look at me, and my tenuous hold on my emotions starts to loosen. Dad grips my arm tighter as we walk slowly up the carpeted aisle toward the open area at the back. I spot Cal waiting for me on the elevated wooden deck. Louis and Lucas, our adorable sons, are wrapped around him on either side of his waist, and he cradles them to him. His groomsmen—Ben, Xander, and Jaden—line up beside him.
Nate catches my eye, and I’m startled to spot telltale signs of moisture on his cheeks. He beams at me, and I return the gesture, so happy that he has readily accepted me now and welcomed me into his family with open arms. In some small way, I think our relationship has helped him come to terms with past events. While Dad and Nate don’t have the close friendship they once shared—and in all honesty, I doubt they will ever reclaim that closeness—they have tentatively begun the mending process. I think Mom would be happy to know that.
Crushing emotion presses down on my chest as I advance toward Cal. Everyone else fades into the background. No one else matters. All I see are my husband and my sons, and the love I feel for them surges forth, bringing potent emotion to the surface. A hacking sob emits from my throat and my chest heaves visibly but I don’t care. Cal’s eyes lock on mine, and I see my own emotion mirrored in his penetrating stare. He doesn’t take his eyes off me. Not while I walk the last few steps, not while Dad passes me to him, not even when Nate and Dad extract the boys from his strong grip.
We stare at each other as if we’re the only two people in the place. The only two people in the entire world. He draws me to him, his firm arm supporting me at the waist, and I place my hands on his chest as I stare into his beautiful eyes.
The priest starts the ceremony, and I savor every perfect moment of the second time that I bond myself to Cal for eternity.
Zane
Ari looks so beautiful, but it’s not difficult to tear my eyes away from her. Since she’s locked in a permanent embrace with Cal, it’s easy to find something else to occupy my gaze. Despite this, I have trouble swallowing the bitter taste in my mouth.
Even after all this time, it still hurts that she chose him.
That’s not to say it isn’t getting easier. Because finally, it is.
Two years ago, I forced myself to face the fact that she was lost to me, and though it was challenging and almost insurmountable at times, I’ve faced that hurdle head on and come out the other side.
She will always have a piece of my heart, but she’s no longer its ruler.
I don’t feel the deep gut-wrenching ache anymore, and my desire to be with her has also faded with the passing of time. Though that ship has long sailed, it’s still hard to see her with him. It’s obvious to everyone that she’s blissfully happy, and I’m glad about that. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help my aversion to Cal. I don’t know if there will ever come a time when we can be in the same room without the usual awkwardness layering the space between us.
“Here,” Mel says, thrusting a bottle of beer into my hand. “You look like you could use this.”
Tension cords the muscles in my shoulders, and I instinctually steel my heart from imminent attack. Mel is one determined lady when she wants to be. She’s a total sweetheart, and stunning to boot, but she doesn’t get it. No one does. Ari may have turned her back on me—and it doesn’t floor me anymore—but I’m not quite ready to move on.
I’ve told Mel this time and time again, but her resolve never wavers. I hate that she’s stalling her life for me in the hope that I’ll come around to her way of thinking and finally be ready to start a relationship with her. But there isn’t anything else I can do to sway her. She’s every bit as stubborn as Ari when she wants to be.
Lately, though, I have to admit that she’s become more of a permanent fixture in my thoughts. I’m still trying to work out exactly what that means.
“Answer me one thing, Zane,” she asks.
Here we go.
“What?” I turn to face her and gasp. Her long blonde hair is styled in natural waves, which tumble seductively over her exposed, tan shoulders. The beautiful wispy pink dress hugs her bust, showcasing a cleavage that begs to be caressed. She crosses one elegant, slim leg over the other as she sits down in the chair beside me, and I’m aware that I’m openly gaping. But I can’t help it.
She coughs lightly and I come out of my lust-filled stupor. Switching my gaze to her face, I have to suck in a secondary gasp. Glossy, plump lips tug up sweetly at the corners, and a flush blooms in her cheeks. Her eyes sparkle with mischief, and pent-up longing and guilt presses down on my chest. If her interest in me were purely sexual, then we’d have gotten this out of our systems ages ago. That my attraction to her is off the charts is also not up for debate. I’d challenge any man to spend time in her presence and not want to go there.
But she wants more than a casual hook-up, and she deserves the whole world. I just don’t know if I can give her what she wants.
“Are you happy for Ari?”
I stare at her as if she’s just sprouted horns. “Of course, I’m happy for her. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Well then,” she says, leaning toward me. “Don’t you think you deserve to be happy too and that she wants that for you?”
“It’s not’s that simple, Mel.”
“It is, Zane. You’re overcomplicating it.” She shakes her head in exaspe
ration, and I don’t blame her. Our conversations are like TV repeats—run over and over again until you can practically spout the lines as they come out of the actor’s mouths. “You are never going to move on unless you take a risk and just put yourself out there again.” She peers earnestly into my eyes.
“Mel—” I start to speak but she cuts me off with a glacial look.
“Don’t. It doesn’t need to be said again,” she says. Amen to that.
Silence hangs between us for a couple of minutes. I take a long drag of my beer while she chews nervously on her lip. Maybe she is right, but I’m scared to start something, out of fear of hurting her. I could never live with myself if I did that.
“Are you attracted to me?” she asks a minute later. Her voice is low, her body stiff, as she awaits my reply.
She’s never asked me this outright before. I could lie but that would be unfair. “Yes,” I grit out, offering no further explanation.
Her face lights up and a torrent of emotions attack my senses.
Maybe I should have lied.
“Spend tonight with me.” She bites down hard on her lip and twirls her finger around a lock of her hair. I’m caught off guard by her suggestion, and I can’t remember a time when she was ever this forthright.
She’s upping her game.
“One night to be together,” she adds, placing a cautious hand on my arm, “to see what it’d be like between us. If in the morning you decide you still don’t want to be with me, then I’ll leave you alone. I’ll never mention it again, and you can go on being miserable all by yourself.”
She flops back down in her seat. I stare at her with my mouth open. I can’t actually believe she’s proposed this. It’s wrong on so many levels. That she’s prepared to cheapen herself in this way to try to convince me only adds to the monstrous guilt I feel whenever I think about her.
Unable to control my emotions, my face betrays me.
“Oh my God,” Mel shrieks, hopping up. “I didn’t mean it like that!” She buries her face in her hands and moans.
Now I’m confused. “Mel,” I say, tugging her hand away from her flaming face. “What did you mean?”
“Oh, God. This is so embarrassing,” she mumbles, half to herself.
I grip her elbows and force her to look at me. “You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. This is all on me. But I don’t understand what you are suggesting if you’re not talking about sex.”
Her cheeks flare strawberry red, and I hate that she’s so uncomfortable. “I just meant that we could be together for the rest of the night as if we were a couple. You know,” she says, shrugging her shoulders and looking at me sheepishly, “Hang out, talk about normal stuff, dance, laugh. And maybe …” She gulps painfully. “Um, perhaps share the same bed but not to, you know, um, do it.”
Her awkwardness is sweetly endearing. If I were ready to get back in the game, Mel would so be the girl of my choice. Sweet, hot, innocent, smart, and a genuinely nice person. She ticks all the boxes bar none. But I don’t know if I am, I remind myself.
“Oh.” I frown, unsure of what to make of her idea.
Her face drops, and in that moment, all I care about is putting a smile back on her beautiful mouth. And it’s a wedding. People couple up for the night all the time at weddings. It wouldn’t be that strange. And I figure I owe her. This couldn’t do any harm, right?
“Okay. I can do that provided there’s no labels. Just the two of us agreeing to have fun together for tonight.” She’s rocking the whole deer-in-the-headlights look as she nods. I laugh as I plonk my bottle down on the table and take her hand in mine. “Come on. Let’s dance.”
Mel is an awesome dancer, and she has hip wiggling down to an art form. I’ve lost count of the amount of time we’ve been on the dance floor, but for the first time in ages, I feel carefree. This feels good. Real good. The band changes the tempo, and all around me, couples are melting into one another. Slowly, I pull Mel toward me and place her arms around the nape of my neck. My arm circles her waist and I draw her in closer. “Is this okay?” I stare into her beautiful sapphire blue eyes as we sway to the music.
She nods nervously as her hands tighten around my neck. My skin tingles where her fingers brush against me, and I feel the jolt all the way through my body. Now I’m the one staring at her shyly. The sensations are familiar though it’s been some time since I’ve felt them. Suddenly, I’m damn curious to know if this is a once off thing or not, and to discover if the reason why she is recently hijacking my mind is because I am coming around to the idea of an ‘us.’
I remember how soft her lips were that one and only time we kissed. It was when we were in Saoirse’s underwater Command Center, a few weeks after Ari had kicked me to the curb. The kiss had been sweet, but I was in too much pain to really feel it. To acknowledge any genuine connection between us.
“Mel?” I ask, eyes drilling into hers.
“Yes?” she whispers through slightly parted lips.
“Where do we stand on kissing?” I chew on the inside of my mouth, strangely self-conscious.
“You want to kiss me?” Her eyes widen.
“Yes. Would that be a problem?” I raise my hand and run a finger lightly over her bottom lip.
“Um, no. Not a problem at all. That’s what normal couples do.”
I hesitate for a moment. This could be a game-changer, and I need to be sure that I’m prepared to follow through, because I don’t want to lead Mel on unfairly or give her hope if there is none.
A pained look contorts her face. That I’m the cause of such anguish nearly destroys me. So I deliberately stop overthinking it, lower my head, and kiss her.
Mel’s delicate, feminine scent swirls around me, blanketing me in a haze of heady comfort, weird familiarity, and urgent need. Her lips don’t respond at first but I push on. As I deepen the kiss, she opens to me and our lips move naturally against each other. I pull her tight against my chest, feeling all the smooth lines of her body as she presses into me. Electricity zings through my veins, pulsing, pounding, and lighting up every place that has been dark. My hand fits around her head, and I draw her in even deeper, feeling an unbearable ache to be as close to her as I can.
“Melandra!” A deep voice echoes in my ear, and I reluctantly break the kiss. Commander Remus stands toe to toe with me, and I can instantly tell that he isn’t pleased. “I’d like a word with my daughter, if you don’t mind, Mr. Anders.”
I mind. Majorly.
Though things have settled down between us, and the Commander has actually apologized to me for past wrongs, I don’t want to push things, or give rise to any conflict between Mel and her dad. And the last thing I want is to instigate any trouble at Ari’s wedding. So I reluctantly remove my arms from her waist and step back. “Of course. I’ll wait for you out on the deck, Mel.”
Turning around, I walk purposefully outside, swiping my beer on the way.
I’m leaning over the railing, elbows propped up, and my mind is deep in contemplative mode. Being with Mel like this feels good. Better than good. Awesome. So why I have been resisting for so long? Is she right? Have I been afraid to take a risk? Afraid to unlock my heart and open it to the potential of new love in case it ends up in loss again? I’ve never thought I was a coward, but I’m beginning to suspect that’s what I’ve become. I drain my bottle and throw it into the trashcan.
There’s no denying that I’m massively attracted to her. Parts of my body were totally down with all the kissing on the dance floor and more than ready to limber up for the next round. And it felt so natural, so right to have her in my arms like that. A hankering builds low in my gut, and I have to caution myself to take it easy. Mel hasn’t had that much dating experience, and I don’t want to come on all heavy.
Instead of pushing Mel away like normal, I find my thoughts drifting to the notion of us as a couple. I think I like the idea. Really like the idea, and that thought derails me completely. Damn, I think I’ve been falling for her all a
long. Trust Mel to be the one to spot it before I even realized it myself.
“There you are,” Ari says, approaching behind me.
“Hey,” I reply, spinning around to face her. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much. I just wanted to check on you. Nate’s giving Mel a bit of a hard time in there, and it doesn’t take much to work out the reason why.” She grins. Searching over her head, I try to pinpoint Mel in the crowd, but the room is packed and I can’t locate her. I step aside, wondering if I should intervene or not. Ari places her hand on my arm. “She’s more than capable of dealing with Nate. Don’t worry.”
Ari moves to the railing and leans over, her eyes fixating on the lake. “It’s so beautiful here. I have to pinch myself every day to confirm that I really live here.”
“Who’d have guessed that Commander Remus was such a romantic? Your mom would have loved it too.” Reaching out, I snag a stray strand of hair and tuck it behind her ear. Where once she would have flinched and pulled away, now she only smiles.
“So.” She looks at me curiously.
“So?” I arch a brow as if I don’t have a clue what she’s implying.
She laughs. “Have you finally decided to let Mel in?”
I pause considerably before answering. “Yeah,” I reply, twisting my face to the side so I’m looking directly into her eyes. “I think I have.”
She flings her arms around me and squeezes me tight. “I’m so happy to hear that.” Pulling back, she cups my face tenderly. “I want you to be as happy as I am, and I know you will be.” She releases her hold on my face. “Mel’s amazing and I just know she’ll be so good for you. Yay!” She’s only short of dancing a jig.
“I think you’re high on love. We haven’t even discussed anything yet so don’t go jumping the gun. It’s baby steps for both of us.”
“I know but this is huge. Taking that first step is the most important one of all.”
True Calling: The Short Story Collection Page 3