Falling Down

by Anne Mercier

  He grabs the body wash and squeezes some into his hands. He works up a lather then motions me forward. I step toward him and he begins washing my body, starting at my neck, working down the front of my body, then paying the same wonderful attention to my back. I look up at the ceiling and blink back the tears I don't want him to see. I rinse my body off. Then, being the masochist I am, I take the body wash and wash his body. While we're in the shower not one word is muttered yet each time our eyes meet there's so much being said.

  I don't want you to go.

  I have to.

  I wasn't expecting this.

  Neither was I.

  Lucy.

  Jesse.

  I rinse my hands and Jesse steps under the spray. I step out of the shower and dry myself off quickly then wrap the towel around my body. I step into the Jacuzzi room and stop in front of the mirror. I look like shit. Ugh. There's not much I can do about it now. I walk into the bedroom with Jesse right behind me.

  He slips on his boxer briefs and picks up my lavender lacy boy shorts and holds them out for me to step into. He gently and slowly tugs them up my legs and over my hips. Next he stands and slides my arms through my bra straps, positions the cups, then hooks the back. He straightens the straps and even adjusts my breasts. I should be embarrassed by this but after everything Jesse's done to my body over the last four days, I can't even muster a blush.

  "Your underwear is so hot. Do you always wear that? The lacy and sexy shit?"

  "Mhmm."

  "Damn. I'm going to be picturing that every time I see you on TV or in a magazine."

  I step into my shorts as he holds them, then slides them up my body, his fingers caressing my thighs as he does. He buttons then zips them. He pulls my camisole over my head and pushes my arms through each hole before tugging it straight.

  His gaze locks onto mine and I feel the telltale prickles starting behind my eyes. No. I can't cry. Not here. Not now. This can't happen. My nose twitches and he smirks.

  "Itch?" he asks, itching my nose for me.

  Shit. Why is he being so sweet? I can't handle this.

  "I should go, Jesse."

  He nods. "I know you have things to do before tomorrow."

  Oh God. I close my eyes for a brief minute.

  "I do."

  I slip my sandals on and stand there looking at him as he stares at me.

  He steps forward and pulls me into his arms, holding me close. Oh god, oh God, oh God. Tears blur my vision. No. No Lucy. No. Look up and breathe. Just make it out of here before you lose it.

  "Lucy."

  He presses kisses along my forehead, cheek, jaw, chin and finally to my lips. Just a soft brush of his lips against mine and he pulls back, his thumb and forefinger hold my chin and I know he sees the shimmer of tears in my eyes but he doesn't say anything.

  "Jesse," I breathe. "Thank you for this weekend."

  He nods.

  I step up on tip toe and press my lips to his, my hands framing his face. I hold my lips to his, lingering, before I step back. I grab my suitcase and pull out the handle so I can roll it out. A lone tear rolls down my cheek and I brush it away. I head to the door before more tears fall. Pressing the code quickly, I open the door. I can't help myself, I look back.

  I'll never forget this moment as Jesse stands there silently watching me, meeting my gaze as tears threaten to spill over. When I feel the first one start to fall, I smile and whisper, "Bye Jesse."

  "Lucy," he says, taking a step forward. "This is 'see you later'."

  I shake my head. I gasp for breath as I fight the tears building, racing down the stairs to the front door where Max is waiting for me.

  I wish that were true, Jesse, but sadly I think this is the last time I'll ever see you. Thank you for everything. You're an amazing man and I'll never forget you or this weekend. I press a kiss to my index and middle fingers and blow it to him as the car lurches forward and takes me away from this dream and back to my reality.

  Goodbye Jesse.

  Jesse: You saying goodbye doesn't work for me.

  Lucy: What?

  Jesse: Your goodbye isn't accepted and that means we're not done. I'll see you soon, Lucy. This is far from over.

  I don't respond, I just rest my head back on the seat, close my eyes, and hope like hell I can make it out of this in one piece.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lucy

  Still more than a little sore and confused from my weekend with Jesse, Monday brings new challenges. I work hard to push aside the complexity of feelings for Jesse--meaning the fact that I wish it could be more than just a weekend but I know the score. He doesn't do relationships and I've accepted that. Besides, I won't be seeing him again for--well, probably never unless we meet in some unlikely place.

  Sera sighs. "Stop pouting."

  "I'm not pouting. I'm nervous."

  "Uh-huh."

  "I am. You should be too with who Cage said was coming for the interview slash auditions."

  "Are we really going to have them audition?" Jace asks.

  "No, just play a couple songs with us and see if we get a good vibe. If not, then we'll jam with the next one on the list."

  Jace yawns and takes a drink of coffee. "I'd die without Starbucks Americano."

  "Same," I say and take a sip.

  "I could go for a coffee IV on a regular daily basis. I wonder how wired a person would get from that," Sera says looking out the window.

  "I think we'd be bouncing off the ceiling like Mario."

  "Ha! Likely," she replies.

  Frank smirks. "This is the weirdest conversation you've ever had at seven-thirty in the morning."

  "Well, it's probably due to the fact that it's seven-thirty in the morning," I scold, giving Sera a pointed look.

  "Hey, don't blame me. I didn't set this up."

  "He's kinda your boyfriend. You should've influenced him to set this up for late morning."

  "I can't control the man and he's not my boyfriend."

  "I said kinda."

  "Still not."

  "Denial: it's not just a river in Egypt," Jace says with a grin.

  "What are you grinning about manwhore in training?" Sera says with clear disgust on her face.

  "What?" Jace replies, feigning innocence.

  "You know what."

  "Yeah, Jace," I say, my tone laced with sarcasm. "How many skanks did you screw this weekend?"

  He rolls his eyes. "Whatever."

  Sera looks at him with a smirk. "Interesting. He's already evading and we aren't even on tour yet."

  "What's your problem?" he asks.

  "No problem. I'll adjust and not give you shit about it… eventually," I try to reassure him.

  He grunts and takes another sip of his coffee, looking out the car window as we head to Cage's studio.

  "We really don't care, Jace. Just don't be a prick, cover your dick."

  I snort. "No glove, no love!"

  Sera giggles. "Don't be silly, cover your willy."

  More giggles. "Don't be a chump, cover your stump."

  At that one, we burst out laughing.

  "What the fuck?" Jace says, clearly exasperated. "I don't have a stump. Trust me."

  "Yeah, yeah, stumpy," Sera says taunting him.

  "I suit up every time."

  "Good boy."

  He smirks at that. "Weirdos."

  Max pulls the car around the back of the building as Cage instructed and we all head inside. I don't really think we need Frank and Max to protect us inside Nichols Records but I'm not going to argue the point. Frank's been pretty insistent with all the paparazzi around lately. I sigh inwardly. We need to find a house closer to the city so we don't have such a long drive when we have appointments. I'll talk with Sera and Jace after we finish things up today.

  We walk inside the gold mirrored building and I head to reception in the middle of the lobby.

  "Good morning--" the woman pauses, her eyes widening.

  I smile. "Good
morning."

  "Miss Russo, Miss Manzini, Mr. Warner. Mr. Nichols is ready for you. If you take the gold elevators up to the fourteenth level, you'll find his assistant, Marta."

  "Thank you so much," I pause and look down at her name tag, "Elise. Have a lovely morning."

  "You as well, Miss Russo."

  We walk toward the elevators. There are three doors: black, silver, and gold. I can't help but wonder what the difference is. Weird. We step into the gold one and the doors close.

  "I'm so glad Cage hires professionals," I breathe.

  "Me too," Sera says.

  "I wonder if it'll leak we're here," Jace ponders.

  "I hope not."

  Frank and Max don't look too worried about it. Truthfully, I can never be sure anymore.

  The elevator doors open on the fourteenth floor and there's Marta, all ready for us. "Miss Russo. Miss Manzini. Mr. Warner. If you'll follow me, Mr. Nichols is expecting you."

  The thin, dark-haired woman, dressed in a sexy but professional business suit, leads us to a conference room and Jace looks at me a little confused. "I thought we were doing studio stuff."

  I shrug. "Likely we'll end up there. Mr. Meet-Me-At-The-Ass-Crack-Of-Dawn probably doesn't have the musicians coming for another hour."

  Jace just grunts.

  Cage greets us and we all take seats at the table.

  "Was it necessary to have us here before the roosters were crowing?" I ask.

  He grins. "It's really not that bad, Lucy."

  "For who? I need coffee," I say as I head over to the coffee station. "Awww, you have my creamer. You're forgiven--almost."

  Cage chuckles. "As long as it's almost."

  "What are we doing here?" Sera asks.

  "We need to discuss contracts and as your acting manager I can't advise you on these because I'm also the owner of the company."

  "Lovely."

  "It's not a big deal. Irene is also representing Jace, correct?"

  "Mhmm."

  "Good. I sent copies over to Irene and she'll have your attorney look them over."

  "Oh, thank God," I whisper as I plop back into my chair. "Trying to decipher legal mumbo-jumbo is a total pain in the ass." Besides, I am not signing anything without Irene's okay.

  "I just wanted to review everything with you before we head to the studio."

  "Cool," Jace says opening a bottle of cola and taking a drink.

  "Is there anything else you need, Mr. Nichols?" Marta asks.

  "No, thank you Marta."

  She nods and exits the glass doors of the conference room.

  We review the contract in detail, Cage explaining all the legalese in terms we can understand. It sounds like a pretty amazing contract, actually.

  There are so many perks included in the contract as well as the impressive money. This can't be normal.

  "Wow, Cage. This is extremely generous. You have a lot of faith in us."

  He shrugs. "If I didn't believe in you I never would have let you think otherwise. I know good talent when I hear it. I'm positive you're going to be topping charts very quickly."

  "No pressure or anything," Jace says with a chuckle, running his hand through his hair.

  "Absolutely there's pressure. Think of it as incentive."

  "Fair enough."

  "Are there any questions?"

  I look to Sera and Jace who both shake their heads no.

  "Looks like that's a 'no' all the way around."

  "Alright then, let's head to the studio and find you some band members."

  ***~~~***

  When we enter the studio, we're greeted by another sweet-natured but, again, efficient woman at reception. As we head back through the hallway, I spot a really hot-looking guy. His hair is brown and messy-stylish, he's lean but muscular. His jeans hug well-toned thighs and what I'm sure is a very firm ass. His black t-shirt stretches across his chest and biceps outlining some pretty impressive muscles. Oh my.

  "Whoa. Who is that?" I ask Cage.

  "Hussy," Jace teases.

  Cage chuckles. "Let me introduce you."

  "Coffee and hotties, breakfast of champions," Sera says with a snicker.

  "Damian, I'd like to introduce you to the members of our newest band, the one I told you about."

  "Fantastic. Welcome aboard."

  "Damian Black is one of our road managers among other things. Damian, this is Lucy, Sera, and Jace of Blush."

  He shakes hands with everyone and I feel a little tingle when his hand clasps mine--it's no Jesse Kingston zing. He gives me a wink and I grin, trying to fight the blush that's starting to stain my cheeks.

  "Pleasure to meet you. You're interviewing?"

  "We are," I nod, my hand still clasped in his, neither of us move to pull away.

  "What is it that road managers do?"

  His green eyes hold my gaze steadily.

  "We're responsible for checking in with the venues and setting times for setting up, booking hotels, securing cars if needed--usually if we're staying more than a couple days in one city. We also take care of anything and everything that you need on the bus from the absolute necessity to the ridiculous. We also are in charge of the crew. We make sure things are set up correctly and on time as well as packed up. Last but certainly not least, we handle any transactions that are needed at the venue. Generally this is an automatic thing, but some venues prefer the old fashioned methods of payment--especially the smaller venues."

  "But Damian isn't just a road manager," Cage tells me and Damian sends him a looks.

  "Sounds like you're pretty important."

  His grin widens and he flashes amazingly white teeth. Oh boy. "I can be very important."

  Jace chuckles and I send him a glare.

  "If you're done flirting with the new talent, Damian, we need to get started."

  Damian just laughs. "I'm far from finished, but let's go."

  "Oh, you're going with us?"

  He places a hand on my lower back as we walk further down the hall.

  "I am." He leans in and whispers, "I've been assigned to you."

  "Oh boy," is all I can think to say and he chuckles again.

  We enter a room off to the right and I let out a gasp. There he sits. The man I wasn't expecting to see ever again. My fantasy come to life. My dream come true. The best sex of my life. Jesse Kingston along with Ben, Xander, Ethan, and Kennedy.

  "Well, this should be fun, huh?" Sera says.

  I let out a sigh. "Fun, fun."

  The guys are chatting and laughing when we enter the room but Jesse's smile fades as he notes Damian's hand on my back. I inwardly shrug. No strings. That was the deal so he has no right to be glaring at me like he is right now.

  "Damian, you know the guys," Cage says.

  They all murmur greetings as we all take our seats.

  "What are you doing here?" I ask Jesse.

  He flashes his signature half-grin. "Helping, of course."

  "Of course. You didn't think to fill me in on this over the weekend?"

  He shrugs. "It never came up."

  "Oh, it never came up," I mumble under my breath.

  "Nope, the only thing that really was up was my cock, if I remember things correctly." He, of course, says this loud enough for Damian to hear.

  Sera snickers and I hiss and send her a glare. "What? It was funny."

  I roll my eyes. "I think you could have mentioned it, oh, say, when we were saying our goodbyes and you let me believe I wouldn't be seeing you again anytime soon."

  "I never said anything of the sort. If you assumed that, it's on you."

  Ben's head is zinging back and forth between me and Jesse like he's watching a tennis match.

  I sigh.

  "Why are you pissed?" Jesse asks.

  "I'm not pissed. I'm just… surprised."

  "Obviously not in a good way," Ben says before taking a drink of his soda.

  "I just wasn't expecting it, is all." After my long ridiculous girlie cry I ind
ulged myself in last night, I started forcing myself to accept the fact I wouldn't see him again and here he is. I flip my hair over my shoulder and look at Damian who winks at me and tugs on a strand of my hair.

  I swear I hear Jesse growl and when Ben starts laughing I know for sure he did. I don't look over at him. I can't. I'll get lost again. I'll long for more and I can't want that because it's something I just can't have. I want more than sex and that's all he's capable of. Without the possibility of a relationship, I can't be with him again.

  I rest my elbows on the table and drop my face into my hands. Breathe, Lucy. Just breathe.

  Sera rubs her hand over my back and I look at her.

  "Okay?" she asks.

  "Yeah," I whisper.

  I note the frowns of the men across the table. Whatever. I don't have time for this now. I've got business to handle.

  "We've got a few people lined up today," Cage begins just as there's a knock on the door. "And here's our first one now."

  I turn to the door and my jaw drops, Sera gasps, and Jace says, "Are you fucking with me right now?"

  "Pretty sure no one's fucking with you right now," Ethan says with a laugh, "You'd know it if they were and if you didn't, then you're doing something wrong."

  "Holy shit," I murmur and elbow Sera. Her jaw is still dropped and I reach over to wipe the side of her mouth.

  "What?"

  "You had a little drool right there."

  "Well can you blame me? That's Trace fucking Styx."

  "Hell yeah it is," Jace says, getting up and walking over to the amazing drummer. We all murmur our greetings, shake hands, do our fangirling--much to Cage's amusement, and then we get down to business.

  Trace is direct and informal, telling us about why he left his last band--drugs. Their use not his--and while he enjoyed drinking and partying, he didn't want to be mixed up in that shit. Who could blame him?

  "Let's go jam," Trace says.

  We head into the sound room where instruments are already set up for us. Trace picks a Flyleaf song and I smirk at the challenge.

  I stand facing away from the window and meeting Trace's gaze. He counts it off and Jace leads us, I add the betrayingly sweet vocals at my cue, and Sera, Jace, and Trace come in as I growl out the lyrics. Trace's eyebrows go up and he smiles as he beats the hell out of the drums.