by Teresa Roman
“You’ve been holding out on us,” she said, opening the fridge to grab her lunch.
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“The flowers. They must’ve come from someone special,” she sat down beside me and took the lid off a Tupperware. “I thought you swore the other day you weren’t interested in dating. What’s up with that?”
I furrowed my brows. “What flowers?”
“You haven’t seen them yet? They’re gorgeous.”
“Where are they?”
“Out by the nurses’ station.”
Curiosity got the better of me, so I went to look. I had no idea who would be sending me flowers, but sure enough, right on top of the counter at the nurses’ station sat a gigantic bouquet of roses in a beautiful shade of pink.
“They’re for you,” the charge nurse, a man named Ravi, said as I approached.
I reached for the card nestled among the flowers and pulled out the note that was tucked into an envelope.
I know you said you didn’t want to date,
but maybe you’d consider hanging out as friends?
Think about it.
— Jude
“So who are they from?” Ravi asked.
I stared down at the note, open-mouthed, not quite sure what to make of it.
“Earth to Dawn.”
I looked up at Ravi. “Um . . . they’re from my dad.” There was no way I was going to tell him who the flowers were really from. Ravi was one of the people who’d warned me about getting involved with a police officer.
“Don’t tell me I forgot your birthday,” he said.
“No. You didn’t. My dad just sent them because he knows how much I like flowers. That’s all.”
I took the bouquet from the counter and headed down the hallway toward the break room before Ravi could ask me any more questions. I tucked the note into the pocket of my scrub pants and clocked back in.
As the day wore on, I kept thinking about the flowers and the note that had come with them, trying to figure out what I should do. I considered texting Jude to thank him, but the bouquet he’d sent was so nice I figured he deserved better than that. Perhaps when he came in to the ER I’d have a chance to thank him in person, but I wasn’t sure when that would be.
Deep in thought, I barely heard Eric when he walked up to me later that afternoon. “How many times do I need to ask you for a repeat set of vitals on the patient in room two?”
I hadn’t remembered him asking once, much less repeatedly. “When did you ask me?”
“It’s in the patient’s orders. You’d know that if your head wasn’t in the clouds.”
“Excuse me? My head is not in the clouds,” I said, indignant. “For your information, I have more than one patient I’m taking care of right now.”
“Right, as if that’s the problem.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I saw those flowers you got.”
I frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You made such a big deal about me and Natalie getting back together,” Eric said in a quieter voice. “I guess I should be grateful that you’ve moved on, and I suppose I would be if it wasn’t affecting your performance.”
I stared at him for a moment. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize what an ass you really are before I slept with you.” Without giving him a chance to reply, I stormed away.
Normally I wouldn’t dare call one of the doctors an ass, or any of my other co-workers for that matter, but Eric had pissed me off, and I knew I could get away with it. He wouldn’t report me, because if he did, then I’d be forced to explain myself, and I was sure the last thing Eric wanted was for anyone to know we’d slept together.
Thankfully, he stayed out of my way for the rest of day. But even though he did, I was still steaming mad by the time I arrived home. I placed the bouquet on my kitchen table, inhaled the soothing rose scent and sat there for a few minutes re-reading Jude’s note. Then I thought about Eric’s words. He hadn’t let anything get in the way of his reunion with his ex. He’d moved on, so why couldn’t I do the same?
It was a question I had no answer to. I needed a good swim to clear my head first. After almost an hour in the pool I’d finally made up my mind. I got out, dried off, took a deep breath, and reached for my phone.
Chapter 9
We’d both agreed that we’d be meeting as friends so I couldn’t exactly call dinner with Jude a date. We met at Amigo’s. After settling into a booth together, Jude turned his head to look at me and said, “I hope you didn’t pick this place just because I’m Mexican.”
I frowned. “Um, no—”
“I’m sorry,” he said, cutting me off. “That was a bad joke. Sometimes when I’m nervous I say stupid things.”
“It’s okay.” I wasn’t really sure what he had to be nervous about. This wasn’t a date, I’d made that clear the last time we’d talked. “But just so you know I picked this place because it has great food, it’s close to my apartment, and they serve the best margaritas. You should try one.”
“I think I will.” Jude glanced down at his menu. “If I gave you some suggestions on what to order, would you be offended?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Most people stick to tacos and burritos, but there’s a lot more to Mexican food than that,” Jude said. “Since you like spicy food I recommend the camarones a la diabla. It’s one of my favorites.”
“Okay, I guess I can give it a try.” I wasn’t much of a shrimp eater, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try something new.
An awkward silence followed. I racked my mind trying to think of something to say. I thought about apologizing again for how rude I was the last time we’d seen each other, but I couldn’t seem to string the right words together.
“Thank you for agreeing to have dinner with me again,” Jude finally said, setting his menu down on the table. “I really didn’t think you’d say yes.”
I took a deep breath. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure. Of course.”
“Why me? Out of all the nurses or techs or whatever that work in the ER, why did you ask me on a date?”
“Are you kidding me?” he asked, his eyebrows raised. “Have you seen yourself? You’re gorgeous.”
“This is LA. There are tons of beautiful woman here.”
“Yeah, but your beauty is natural,” he said. “And it’s on the inside, too. I’ve watched you at the hospital with your patients. You’re so kind to them, even the ones that come in tweaking or drunk and acting crazy. You never lose your cool.”
I hadn’t realized he’d been paying such close attention to me. Normally the skeptic in me didn’t care much for compliments, but somehow I felt flattered by his. “I can’t believe you still think I’m nice after what I said to you on our last date.”
“Well, I wasn’t very nice either.”
“Yeah, but that was my fault,” I said, staring at the glass of water in front of me, watching as the beads of condensation ran down and pooled on the table.
“Did you really think I just asked you out so I could get into your pants?”
“Let’s just say I’ve had a few bad experiences in the dating world,” I mumbled.
“Believe it or not, us guys, we’re not all the same.”
Before I could reply, the server came by with some chips and salsa. He took our orders and then walked away, returning a few minutes later with two margaritas. Jude took a sip of his drink.
“You were right,” Jude said. “These margaritas really are good.”
“I told you.” It took me a moment to remember what we’d been talking about. After I did I asked, “So what makes you so different from all those other guys out there?”
“I’ve got four sisters who I love very much, so I try my best to treat women the same way I want them treated. Which means I won’t lie to you . . . and I won’t try to sleep with you . . . unless it’s what you want, too.”
“How do I know you’re not lying right now?” I asked, running the tips of my fingers up and down the stem of my glass.
The way he gazed at me with his beautiful brown eyes made me tremble just a little inside. “If you give me a chance, I can show you.”
“Whatever happened to us just hanging out as friends?”
“If that’s all you want, I’ll respect that. But I’m not going to lie. I want more.”
“What if I tell you I’m not ready to rush into a relationship? That I want to take things slow. Would you be okay with that?”
He reached across the table and hooked his index finger around mine. It was the slightest of touches, but the contact made my heart unexpectedly flutter. I did not like Jude Morales, I reminded myself, at least not like that. I pulled my hand away and took another sip of my drink.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “I’ll be okay with it.”
The server came with our dinners a few minutes later, and just as Jude had promised, the shrimp dish he’d convinced me to order was amazing. Probably one of the best meals I’d had in a long time.
“Most Mexican restaurants in LA aren’t very good,” Jude said after we finished eating. “But this one’s not bad.”
“Not bad? That’s not much of a compliment.”
“If you’d ever tasted my mom’s cooking, you would see what I mean.”
“Do you know how to cook?” I asked.
“Not that many things, but what I do, I cook well,” he replied. “And I’m a master on the grill.”
I smiled, feeling much better about the way this dinner was turning out, but I didn’t know what that meant. I hadn’t changed my mind—I wasn’t ready for a relationship—but there was something about Jude that I just plain liked. He was kind, and respectful. Not to mention gorgeous. And I really wanted to see him again.
We finished our meal and then Jude paid for dinner and helped me with my jacket. After we stepped outside I pointed across the street in the direction of my apartment. “I’m headed that way,” I said, figuring he was most likely parked in the rear of the restaurant.
“You’re walking?”
“I only live a few blocks away.”
“It’s dark out. I don’t like the idea of you walking home by yourself,” he said. “Let me drive you back.”
The thought of being beside Jude in his car made me nervous. What if he tried to kiss me? I wasn’t ready for that. I’d meant it when I told him I wanted to take things slow. “I walk back from Amigo’s to my apartment alone all the time. I’ll be fine.”
“I swear I’m not going to invite myself in. But I’m a cop and I know the kinds of things that can happen to people walking home in the dark. I just want to make sure you make it back safely. That’s all.”
It was hard to say no to that plea, and truthfully, I liked the idea of spending a few extra minutes with Jude. “Okay.”
As we stood there talking, the cold January night air seeped under my jacket. I shivered, prompting Jude to put his arm around me as he led me toward his car. The warmth that emanated from his muscled arm felt nice, and not just because it was chilly outside.
Jude unlocked his car and opened the passenger door for me. He waited for me to get inside before running around to the driver’s side.
“I had a good time tonight,” he said as he turned the engine on.
“I did, too.”
“So does that mean we can go out again sometime?”
“I’d like that,” I said.
The streetlights were bright enough that I could see his smile. “How about a movie next time?”
“Okay.” For some reason I found myself unexpectedly tongue-tied. Conversation had been easier when we were in the restaurant surrounded by other people. But I didn’t want him to know that, so I frantically searched for words. “When do you want to go?”
“How about tomorrow.”
“Um, I’m working tomorrow,” I said.
Like nurses, police officers worked long shifts and on weekends, too, so it took a bit of back and forth before we were able to settle on a day that we were both off, especially since we both worked extra shifts.
We arrived at my apartment complex a few minutes later and I pulled my keys out of my purse. Jude insisted on walking me right up to my door. “This is me,” I said, stopping in front of it.
For a moment, Jude stood there, staring at me. The outdoor lights reflected in his eyes, making them sparkle. He smiled, which brought out his dimples. I had a hard time peeling my eyes away from his and for a moment imagined what his broad shoulders and chest would look like shirtless.
Just as quickly as the image flitted across my mind, I shook it away, remembering what had happened with Eric and vowing I wouldn’t be that stupid again.
“Good night,” Jude said.
“Good night,” I replied.
He took a step closer and my heart pattered as I wondered if he was going to try to kiss me. While I was still trying to decide whether I would be okay with that, he leaned in and pressed his lips to my cheek. Without another word, he turned around and walked away.
I watched him as he headed back toward his car, and raised my hand to the spot he’d just kissed thinking to myself what a perfect thing he’d just done.
Chapter 10
A few weeks passed. Jude and I went out a few more times, and as promised, he respected my wish to take things slow. He’d held my hand a few times, put his arm over my shoulders, but nothing more than that. I was starting to wonder when or if he was ever going to try to kiss me.
I went back and forth, trying to decide if I wanted him to or not. When Jude and I were apart, I told myself over and over that things between us wouldn’t work, that he’d turn out to be like every other guy I’d been stupid enough to take a chance on. But when we were together, an entirely different feeling came over me. Still, I hadn’t told anyone about me and Jude. Not Tracey, and not my mom or my little sister, May. Normally they were the people I confided in, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that talking about Jude would jinx things between us.
Sometimes, I tried convincing myself that I was keeping my relationship with Jude secret because I wasn’t really into him and knew that things wouldn’t work out. But deep down I realized that couldn’t be true because the last few times Jude had come to the ER, my heart had unexpectedly quickened at the sight of him.
Like it was doing now.
Just as I looked up from my computer the doors to the ambulance bay slid open and in walked Jude. He was here for my patient, a young man with two stab wounds to his back whose girlfriend had dropped him off earlier in the morning. My patient insisted he didn’t know who’d attacked him and didn’t want to talk to the cops, but the police had been called anyway. By California law, we were required to report all assaults to the police, and they were required to come and take a report even when the victim of violence refused to answer questions.
Most of the officers grumbled about being forced to waste time on a bunch of gang-bangers who wouldn’t talk, but Jude never did. In fact, he hardly ever grumbled about anything.
As he walked by, he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye then he smiled. I smiled back and watched him as he disappeared around the corner and behind the curtain where my patient lay waiting for the results of his tests.
A few minutes later, he walked back out and over to me.
“That was quick,” I said.
“What a waste of time,” he said, shaking his head. “But at least I got to see you.”
“He wouldn’t tell you anything?” I asked. It boggled my mind that someone could get stabbed and not want to do whatever they could to get their attacker behind bars.
“Can’t make someone talk if they don’t want to.” He leaned in a little closer and whispered, “I brought you something.”
“What is it?”
“I’ve got it out in the patrol car,” he said. “I wanted to make sure it was all right to bring it in here fi
rst. I know how you feel about keeping things private.”
“It’s fine,” I said, figuring that if anyone did make a comment I could come up with a believable explanation.
“Okay, then I’ll be right back.”
A few minutes later, he returned with a Winchell’s coffee cup and paper bag in his hands.
“Coffee and donuts?” I smiled as he handed them to me. “That is so cliché.”
He grinned. “I guess some of the things people say about cops are true.”
“Thank you.” I took a sip of the still-warm coffee, grateful for a fresh cup, but at the same time trying not to worry about whether or not anyone was looking at us.
“So are we still on for Friday night?”
I nodded and he smiled in response. Those dimples and full lips, coupled with his thoughtful gesture, made me want to pull him closer and finally find out what it felt like to kiss him. My face heated at the thought and I looked away.
A voice sounded from the walkie-talkie near his shoulder. “Well, I guess I better go,” Jude said.
“I’ll call you later,” I whispered.
“You better.” He winked before turning and walking away.
When Friday evening finally arrived, we met for dinner at a Korean barbecue restaurant in Glendale. Because almost all of our dates had taken place in Pasadena, close to where I lived, I’d insisted that the next one be closer to Jude’s neighborhood since that only seemed fair.
After our server placed our dinners in front of us Jude made a joke about how many new things I was getting him to try.
“I can’t believe you’ve never had Korean barbecue before,” I said. “It’s legendary.”
“I can see why,” he replied. “These ribs are amazing.”
As our dinner date wound down, I felt myself growing increasingly nervous. By the time our server brought over the check, I’d made up my mind. Tonight was the night. Our first kiss. It had been a month since we’d started dating and my curiosity was starting to get to me. I couldn’t help but wonder what Jude’s lips would feel like on mine. The more time we spent together, the sexier I found him, and I was tired of fighting my attraction to him.