"Your stupid brother broke a condom on me last night, and it’s your fault!" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at Ryan defiantly.
"Okay," Ryan said, running her hands through her hair. "I never gave you a condom, so how can I know how old the one you used was?"
"I found them in your closet," she insisted. "In that gym bag where you keep your toys." Her face broke into a small smile as she said, "Great collection, by the way. Maybe you’re the more attractive O’Flaherty."
"Thanks," Ryan said, turning to walk over to the couch and flop down on it. "I kinda prefer women that don’t try to knock the stuffing out of me, but I’ll keep your name on file."
"Oh, I didn’t hurt you," the smaller woman scoffed, sitting next to her and rubbing her leg. "I didn’t get a lick in."
"You sure tried hard enough," Ryan chided. "You fight dirty, too. That knee to the groin hurts women as much as it does men."
"Yeah, I know," Mia laughed. "They act like it hurts worse, though."
"Okay, let’s get this straight," Ryan said, shaking her head to order her jumbled thoughts. "You and my rock-headed brother just had to have sex last night. Neither of you had any condoms, but that didn’t stop you. So you rifle through my stuff and find some old condoms in my toy bag which you then proceed to use."
"That’s right so far," Mia agreed.
"One of the condoms breaks, and you, of course, blame me."
"Right again," Mia nodded, pleased that Ryan was finally catching on.
"What was Conor’s reaction to this?" Ryan asked, assuming that Conor had freaked.
"Mmm, he was okay," Mia revealed. "He swore that he’d been tested for AIDS last year, and that he always used a condom."
"He’d better," Ryan muttered to herself.
"I’m sure he would have been a little more upset if I had told him that I didn’t use any other form of birth control," the smaller woman muttered, getting to the heart of the issue.
Ryan’s face blanched as her head started to shake. "So, you not only had unprotected sex, but you might be pregnant."
"No shit!" Mia moaned. "Why do you think I’m so upset?"
"Get your stuff," Ryan decreed, rising to fetch her backpack.
"Where are we going?" Mia cried, rushing to keep up with the long-legged woman.
"We’re going to the doctor. Your choice between University Health Services and your private doctor."
"I have a private one, but she’s in Palo Alto."
Ryan rolled her eyes, decreeing, "UHS it is. Let’s go. I’m too young to be an aunt."
For some strange reason the wait was not interminable, and Mia’s name was called fairly quickly. "Okay," she said as she got up. "Tell me again what I want?"
"Do you want me to come in with you?" Ryan asked, not really looking forward to the experience, but wanting to make sure that Mia was properly taken care of.
"Will you?" For the first time, the warm brown eyes looked at Ryan with a hint of fear.
"Sure. I’d be happy to," she assured her, getting up and sliding an arm around the smaller woman’s shoulders.
"All right, Ms. Christopher, what can we do for you today?" the nurse practitioner asked as she slipped into the room. Mia was partially covered in a drab green paper gown, leaving at least half of her body exposed to the chill of the air conditioning that the conveniently located blower rained down on her.
She looked up at Ryan, once again looking rather afraid.
Taking over, the tall woman explained, "My friend here had unprotected sex last night, and she’s not taking birth control."
"Oh, I see," the nurse said slowly, her brow furrowing. "You do know the dangers of unprotected sex, don’t you, Ms. Christopher?"
"Yes, of course I do," Mia insisted. "I did my part," she said, her normal attitude back in place. "It’s her condom that broke." She was now glaring at Ryan, and the nurse turned to look at Ryan with a puzzled expression.
"Long story. Germane to nothing," she said, in her usual shorthand style. "Can you prescribe the morning after pill for my friend?" she asked, getting down to business.
"Of course," the woman replied. "Where are you in your cycle?"
"Right smack in the middle of it," Mia muttered, having worked out the math all morning long. She was by now all too well aware that she was at her most fertile.
"I’ll need to do a pelvic exam first, to make sure you’re not pregnant," the nurse insisted.
"I’m not," Mia maintained. "I haven’t had sex with a guy in three months."
"Just lie back," the nurse insisted, not swayed by Mia’s declaration. "Put your feet in the stirrups and slide down towards me please."
Shooting Ryan a venomous look, the irate woman did so, while Ryan judiciously focused her attention elsewhere.
"What is this stuff again?" Mia asked as she swallowed the two small pills the nurse had given her.
"It’s a higher dose of the normal birth control pill," Ryan explained once again, trying to be patient with her flustered friend. "It helps delay the release of the ovum, and it slightly disrupts the development of the uterine lining. It’s perfectly safe, Mia. Much safer than pregnancy," Ryan intoned somberly.
Mia sighed and rested her head against Ryan’s chest. "Can I have a hug?" she asked softly.
Ryan immediately wrapped her arms around her friend’s shivering body. "You’re chilled," she said softly, tightening her hold.
"Jamie’s right," Mia murmured. "It feels really safe in here." She nuzzled her face against Ryan for just a minute more, finally pulling back and tilting her chin up for a kiss, which Ryan gladly delivered. "Thanks for taking care of me," she said, a definite slump in her posture. "I never thought I’d be having an abortion, but here I am."
"No, no, no, Mia," Ryan insisted, grasping her shoulders to force eye contact. "This is not an abortion. This prevents the release of the egg. No egg—no pregnancy. Trust me on this, Mia. I wouldn’t lie to you about something this important."
"I do trust you, Ryan. I just don’t know much about this stuff. That’s why I was on the Depo-Provera shot for a long time. I just didn’t want to think about any of this."
"Why did you go off it? You really should have some form of back-up birth control, Mia. Condoms are just not fool-proof enough."
"Ya think?" she asked dryly. "I’ll probably go on the pill or something reliable like that. I was on Depo from the time I was in high school, but I hadn’t had a period in almost five years because of it, and my doctor thought I should go off of it for a while. Since I’m not dating anybody, it seemed like a good time, so I had my last shot in April. I just got my first period last month."
"Lucky you," Ryan chuckled.
"Yeah, timing is everything, huh?"
"I’ll say."
"So I don’t have anything to worry about, huh? You’re sure I won’t get pregnant?"
"Very, very unlikely," Ryan assured her. "Less than a five percent chance when you take the pills properly if you take them less than 24 hours after intercourse."
"Thanks, Pal," Mia said again. "I am SO not ready to be a mommy."
Ryan slid an arm around her again, and gave her a gentle hug. "Maybe not, but I’d kinda like to have you as a sister-in-law."
"Maybe someday," Mia smiled. "Far…far…far…in the future."
When they returned from the doctor, Mia announced that she was heading out to attend her afternoon classes, but Ryan shot her a warning glance. The nurse told you that you might be nauseous, Mia. You might want to stick close to home."
The curly-haired brunette looked at her for a minute and said, "I’ve skipped this class twice already, and I only get four cuts. I think I’ve got to go."
Ryan nodded and offered, "If you start to feel bad, call me and I’ll come pick you up. I know some women don’t have much reaction to the pills, but some get very ill. I don’t want you walking home if you’re sick."
"Will do. Thanks again for taking care of me, Ryan. You’re a good bud."
/>
When Mia left Ryan collapsed on the sofa in the living room, desperately needing a nap. The ringing phone woke her moments after she fell asleep and she answered groggily, "H’lo?"
"Ryan dear, it’s Aunt Maeve. I thought I’d come see how you’re doing if you’re up to a visitor."
"Oh…sure. Um…I’m probably just going to sleep, but you know you’re always welcome, Aunt Maeve."
"All right, Love. I’ll be over in a bit."
"I’ll leave the front door unlocked."
Maeve arrived mid-afternoon, carrying some of her homemade chicken soup. Luckily she used the correct kind of egg noodles, having learned the recipe from her mother just as Fionnuala had. Ryan had not yet had lunch yet since she had spent the better part of mid-day with Mia, and she dug into the soup with gusto while Maeve entertained her with news of Caitlin, who had pleased her father by finally uttering "Da Da" in a clear voice that morning before he left for work. Ryan kept her secret about the earlier utterance of the word, having decided that Tommy should always assume that Caitlin reserved that honorific for him alone.
After lunch they went into the living room to chat for a while. Ryan's energy soon began to wane; Maeve noticed that she was fading fast, so she scooted down to the end of the sofa and patted her lap. "Down you go," she instructed as Ryan shot her a childlike grin and took her up on her offer. One of her favorite memories of the years immediately following her mother’s death was of lying on a sofa or a bed while her aunt rubbed her head. It had become a calming ritual for both of them and Ryan occasionally wished that they still had that loving contact, but it was hard to ask your aunt to rub your head when you were 23 years old. Still, if she offered…
As her head hit her aunt's lap, her eyes closed and she let herself just soak up the warm feelings flowing over her. Maeve began to run her fingers lightly through Ryan’s dark hair, ruffling it with each pass. "I like what you’ve done to your hair, Sweetheart. It’s a very becoming style for you."
"I wasn’t ready to ditch the bangs, but the guy Jamie takes me to won’t cut them anymore, so I guess they’re gone for good," she said with a little shrug.
"You’re very happy together, aren’t you, Ryan?"
She looked up at her aunt with a confident smile as she said, "Yeah, I am. I’m not sure Jamie’s happy with me right now, but I’m happier than I ever thought possible. Jamie is everything I could ever want in a partner, and I know we’ll be together for the rest of our lives."
"Well, well," she said fondly, fluffing Ryan’s hair, "I knew you were over the moon, but I didn’t realize you were permanently committed to each other."
"If we could get married, I’d do so tomorrow," she said.
"I’m so sorry that you can’t," Maeve whispered. "It just breaks my heart that people are so narrow-minded towards love."
"Thanks, Aunt Maeve. It really helps to have the family support our love. That’s easily as good as having the state recognize us."
Maeve looked down on her niece as she continued to massage her scalp. "Your mother would be mad for Jamie, you know."
"Do you really think so?" Ryan asked with just a touch of hesitation. "I mean, I know how lovable Jamie is, but I’ve thought maybe Mama would have some issues about me giving my heart away."
"I don’t think so, Dear. Your mother was most concerned about raising adults, not children. She used to make me laugh when she would say that people should put things in perspective by looking at their children as men and women rather than boys and girls. She wanted nothing more than for each of you to find a mate and build your own lives. And she loved your father so much that I think she wanted to have him all to herself once you were all grown and gone." Her voice caught on this last sentence, and Ryan looked up through her own misty eyes to catch the tears running down her aunt’s cheeks.
"You miss her a lot, don’t you?" Ryan said softly.
"I think of her every day, Siobhan," Maeve said, reverting to the name her sister had so loved. "And I see her in you so clearly sometimes that it takes my breath away."
"Do you really?" Ryan asked, totally charmed by this revelation. "You’ve never said that before."
"I must admit it’s been happening much more since Jamie’s come into your life, Dear. You’ve just become so much softer and more vulnerable since you’ve fallen in love. And that’s the part of you that’s like my little sister."
"That’s how I remember her," Ryan admitted. "When I think of her, I can just feel a warmth and a softness that feels like it envelops me. Does that make sense?"
"Yes, it truly does," she agreed. "Oh, she was a feisty one, too, don’t get me wrong. But warmth and gentleness just flowed from her when she was with you and the boys." She looked down on her niece with affection as she revealed, "I still remember the day she said she prayed that some day you’d find someone to love you as much as she did." She brought her fingers to her mouth and kissed them lightly, then placed them on Ryan’s cheek. "I’m so happy that you’ve made her wish come true."
Ryan let her tears come unrestrained upon hearing this. She cried for a long while as Maeve continued to stroke her hair and face, tenderly comforting her.
At 6:30 Jamie opened the front door to see Maeve holding up a finger to her lips, indicating that Jamie should be quiet. She silently closed the door and tiptoed over to the sofa, feeling a swell of emotion as she saw her lover curled up in her aunt’s lap. She looked so young and innocent, with such a guileless look on her face, that Jamie could actually see the young child in her. As usual, Ryan’s internal radar alerted her to Jamie’s presence and she blinked her eyes open a few minutes after she arrived. She sweetly looked up at her aunt as she asked, "How long was I asleep?"
"About two hours, Love."
"Two hours! You must be stiff from sitting in one position for so long. You didn’t have to let me sleep like that, Aunt Maeve!"
"It was nothing but pleasure for me, Sweetheart. I miss having you sleep in my arms; it’s been a long while."
Ryan gave her a crooked grin as she stayed right where she was. "I miss it too," she admitted. "I get to sleep on Jamie’s lap, but it’s not the same." Jamie had perched on the arm of the sofa and she brought her hand down to brush the hair from Ryan’s face as she continued. "There’s something about Jamie that feels decided un-maternal," she teased as she caught her gaze.
"Lucky for you," the blonde pointed out as she lightly ruffled her hair.
Ryan tossed her legs to the floor and stretched a bit before she got up and went over to hug her partner. "Mad at me?" she whispered softly.
"Of course not. You’re justifiably disappointed, Ryan. You’re just taking out your frustrations on me."
"Yeah, that’s it," Ryan agreed, not mentioning the fact that she had nearly passed out from exhaustion after just sitting in the doctor’s office for an hour. "You were right, as usual, Babe. I’m not up to playing yet."
Maeve stood up and did her own little stretch as she announced, "I’d better get moving if I want to beat the traffic."
"It’s too late for that, Maeve, why don’t you stay for dinner?" Jamie asked.
"Are you sure it’s no bother?"
"You couldn’t be a bother if you tried," Ryan said sincerely as she bent over to give her a gentle hug.
Ryan sat in the kitchen since she was still under Jamie’s orders to rest, but Maeve was allowed to help with the meal preparation. Jamie put her in charge of making a salad while she prepared one of Ryan’s favorite risottos. It took a long spell of constant stirring to render the rice tender enough, and while they were waiting Jamie took Ryan’s temperature once again, pleased when it finally read 98.6. "If it’s normal in the morning, you can go to school," Jamie announced, drawing a slightly worried look from her partner.
Jamie knew that Ryan was nearly healed when she insisted on going for a walk after Maeve departed. They stayed very close to home, but they managed to circle the block four times before she called it a night.
Once in
bed, Ryan revealed her fears, "That last block seemed two times longer than the one before, Jamie. I’m worried that I’m not going to be able to stay in class all day." She hit her pillow in frustration. "This is so hard for me to tolerate! My body’s never betrayed me like this!"
"I know, Love, I know," she soothed, drawing Ryan close and patting her gently. "I’m just begging you to take it easy, Ryan. It’s better to take it slow than to have a relapse and miss another week, isn’t it?"
"I guess," she agreed. "It’s just so much more understandable when you’ve got a broken leg or a torn muscle. It sounds so lame to miss four games with the flu." She said "flu" with the same inflection she would have used for "chapped lips" as an excuse.
"The flu has probably killed more people worldwide than most other diseases, Ryan. It’s a very serious illness."
"I know that, Jamie," she said softly. "My grandfather lost both of his parents, and my grandmother lost a baby brother, to the worldwide epidemic in 1916."
Jamie sat up in alarm, "My God, Ryan, why didn’t you say something! That’s absolutely horrible!"
"I know," she said quietly. "I think that’s why I freaked out when you first told me that’s what I had. My Granny told me that her little brother was fine one day, and dead the next." She shivered noticeably as she added, "Sometimes she doesn’t use good judgment in what she tells kids. I’m never going to let her be alone with our babies."
Jamie was even more shocked by this announcement. She knew that Ryan had a rather stormy relationship with her grandmother, but she didn’t have any idea that she didn’t trust her. "I didn’t realize…" she began, but Ryan elaborated.
"She’s a good woman, Jamie, but she’s harsh. She had a very tough life, and she thinks it’s fine to tell kids about all the horrors of it, no matter how young they are. I think she thinks it will toughen them up." Ryan snuggled close and said, "I want our babies to think the world is a safe and gentle place until they absolutely have to be exposed to the realities of life."
Honesty - SF8 Page 15