Honesty - SF8

by Meagher, Susan X

  "Great," Ryan moaned. "We’ve got a dining room full of dirty dishes and we have to disturb them just to bring the stuff in."

  "Oh, it’s no bother. We can get it tomorrow. You probably need your rest anyway."

  "I feel good," Ryan decided. "I feel more like myself that I have in almost two weeks now. I still have a little energy left."

  Another peek out the kitchen door showed that the heat had risen a little bit in the living room. Jamie approached and slipped her hands behind Ryan’s neck, pulling her down for a very friendly kiss. "You should give that boy some tips," she insisted. "You were much more subtle when you were in action. I still remember you sitting on the edge of your desk in our psych class, nearly looking bored as woman after woman approached you. You honestly looked like it didn’t matter to you one way or the other if they spoke to you, but those blue eyes just pulled those women in like you’d stuck a hook in their mouths."

  Ryan tilted her head in thought, acting like an idea had just occurred to her. "You know, for a straight girl, you sure were observant. Were you always so interested in your classmates?"

  "Funny, very funny, Tiger. You know full well that I was hooked on you from the first day. I wanted to knock those other girls aside and climb those long, crossed legs. I had a mental image that occurred with shocking frequency," she revealed, a flush coloring her cheeks. "I’d see you sitting there, with that confident posture, and I’d imagine myself shimmying up your legs until I was wrapped around your waist. I don’t know why or how I knew this, since I had never done anything like that before, but I somehow knew that I needed to grind myself into you…hard." She said this last word with every bit of her considerable sex appeal, her eyes narrowed, burning into Ryan with a tremendous intensity.

  Ryan’s eyes were wide, and she fanned herself rapidly. "Oh my!" she said in her best southern drawl. "Such thoughts from a fine young lady."

  Jamie advanced on her, pushing her until the backs of her legs were pressed up against the heavy kitchen table. "I think I’ve earned a chance at making that fantasy real, don’t you, Sport?"

  Some time later, Mia pulled her mouth away from Conor’s questing tongue as she murmured, "What in the heck are those two doing in there?"

  "Mmm," he moaned, his eyes glassy and unfocused. "Moving furniture, I guess. Can’t say that I really care."

  "Good point," Mia agreed, allowing her eyelids to flutter closed as the warm mouth settled upon hers once again. A flurry of activity caused her to spare a quick glance at her roommates, who were scampering across the living room toward the stairs. Ryan looked like she’d been wrestling a tomcat—face flushed, shirt seriously askew, hair severely tangled. Jamie led the way, tugging at her impatiently. The smaller woman was holding her slacks up with her spare hand, and her face was even more flushed than her partner’s.

  As they rounded the corner to climb the stairs, Ryan met Mia’s gaze and waved weakly before she was bodily pulled along by her impatient lover. "Some people," Mia scoffed self-righteously. "No self control!"

  "Do you want me to stay over?" Conor asked, when he and Mia were alone.

  "Sure, if you want," she said, wanting him to stay, but not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "I’m really enjoying kissing you," she insisted, adding another sweet kiss to his grinning lips, "but I’m not in the mood for sex, so if that’s your main reason for staying…" she trailed off.

  "Already?" he laughed gently, teasing her slightly swollen lips with the tip of his finger. "It usually takes three or four times with me for a woman to be completely turned off."

  She snuggled against him, his muscular body making her feel positively dwarfed. Looking up into his vivid blue eyes she shook her head slowly, giving him a gentle smile. "I’m a long way from turned off, Conor. I just got my period tonight, and I’m feeling kinda yucky."

  His large, warm hands slipped down to cup her hips as he pulled her close. "Make you a deal," he offered. "You give me a rain check for sex, and I’ll give you a nice backrub."

  "Make it a tummy rub and you’ve got a deal," she decided, enormously pleased that he was so easygoing about being turned down.

  His answer was to start unbuttoning his shirt, her eyes locked onto his chest as his sculpted pecs came into view.

  Taking his hand, she led the way to her bedroom, and smiled at him as she started to remove her own clothes, feeling oddly comfortable with this relative stranger. "Um…I didn’t tell you this on Monday," she began, deciding to be completely honest with him, "but I was really freaked out when that condom broke." He looked up in surprise, and she added, "I wasn’t using any other birth control that night."

  His slacks were just halfway down his long, muscular legs, and they remained right there as he sank onto her desk chair, all of the blood draining out of his handsome face. "You…what?" he gaped.

  "I wasn’t prepared," she said rather weakly. "I’m going to get on the pill, but I wasn’t at the time. I’m sorry, Conor, I know it was irresponsible of me."

  He blinked slowly, shook his dark head a few times and tried to make his mouth move, but he was largely unsuccessful. She came over and sat on one strong leg, liking the way the muscular thigh felt against her bare skin. "Are you okay?" she asked draping an arm around his back. "I’m sure I’m not pregnant, Conor. I took the morning after pill, and I just got my period, so I’m sure I’m okay."

  "I’m fine," he said, taking in a deep breath. "It’s been a very long time," he whispered. "I uh…forgot what that felt like."

  "When did it happen before?" Mia asked, interested in learning about the experiences that had formed Conor.

  "I was 21," he said thoughtfully. "My girlfriend missed her period, and we were panicked. It was a very, very tense week. My whole life flashed before my eyes."

  "I’m really sorry if this scared you like that," she whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

  He looked up at her. "You know, it didn’t," he decided. "I’m at a different place in my life now. It wouldn’t be the end of the world for me, like it was then."

  "Huh?" she said, her mouth gaping open. "You’d want to what…get married?"

  "Yeah. Why not?" he asked, thinking that the idea didn’t really sound all that bad. "I’m 28 now, and I’m pretty close to being ready to settle down. An unplanned pregnancy might just give me the push I need." He was smiling at the thought, a little lost in his musings.

  "No, no, no, no, no," Mia stammered, climbing off his lap immediately. "I’m nowhere near being ready to settle down. Jesus, Conor, I’m just 20!"

  "So you would have what…had an abortion?" he asked, not liking the sound of that one bit.

  "Well, I don’t know what I would have done," she allowed. "Abortion would be an option, but I guess I more likely would have had the baby and given it up for adoption."

  Now he was on his feet, glaring at her with wide eyes. "You’d give my baby up for adoption? I don’t think so!"

  "It’s your baby when you carry it in your uterus for nine months, Conor. Having an orgasm doesn’t give you the final vote here, ya know. I’m not ready to have a child, and I’m not going to be ready for a long, long time."

  He finally allowed his brain to take in her message. "How long a time?" he asked slowly.

  "I’m not sure, but I think I’d like to stay single until I’m around 30."

  "Jeez, Mia, that’s nine years! I’ll be 37 then. I don’t want to wait that long to start a family!"

  Realizing that something was going horribly wrong, she went to her closet and shrugged into a flannel bathrobe, suddenly feeling quite exposed. "Um, Conor?" she asked, sitting down on the bed and patting the surface so that he would join her. "I thought we were just casually dating," she said. "Do you have something more in mind?"

  "Well, I don’t know," he decided, looking awkward and a little adolescent. "I hadn’t really given it a lot of thought, but when you talk about having a baby, I start to think about it, and I realize that you’re the kind of woman I’d like to
be married to."

  She took in a breath, letting this startling information sink in. Deciding to be completely honest she said, "You’re the kinda guy I’d like to be married to," she agreed, placing her hand on his impossibly hard triceps. "In about ten years." Her point was clear, and the determination in her brown eyes made it obvious that it wasn’t up for further discussion.

  "So, you’re only interested if this is just a casual thing, huh?" he asked softly, his eyes showing hurt.

  "Yeah. That’s all that I can handle at this point in my life, Conor. I just want to play."

  "I’ve been playing since I was 16," he said sadly. "I’m a little tired of it."

  She scooted up behind him, wrapping her arms around his broad back. "I don’t think this is going to work out, Conor," she whispered. "Maybe we should stop before it gets complicated."

  He nodded, knowing that she was right, but not wanting to give her up before they really had a chance to get started. "I guess you’re right," he said. He got up and drew back the covers, motioning for her to get in. "Let me give you that tummy rub."

  She looked at him carefully, not sure if he had understood her or not.

  He smiled gently and helped her to her feet, grasping the tie to her robe and unfastening it with a confident touch. Slowly sliding the soft fabric from her shoulders, he guided her to the bed.

  Even though she had decided not to sleep with him, there was something so arousing about the self-assured way he was directing her that she decided she’d gladly submit to his touch one last time. She slid in between the sheets, smiling confusedly as he pulled the desk chair over and started to rub her, his large, warm, callused hand making small, soft circles on her tender belly.

  "This is a freebie," he said softly, his deep honeyed voice sending chills up her spine. "I don’t want to make love to you if it can’t go on." His deep blue eyes locked onto hers as his heart clenched in pain at the sadness he felt over not being allowed to get to know her better. "It would be too hard to let you go."

  "Will you hold me, Conor?" she asked hesitantly. "I feel really sad."

  "Of course," he smiled, slipping into bed behind her, his strong hand continuing to knead her abdomen. "If I’m still single in nine or ten years will you give me another chance?" he whispered, his voice a little hoarse with emotion.

  She placed both of her hands onto his and squeezed gently. "In a heartbeat," she promised, hoping that their romantic paths would one day cross again.

  "Hey," Ryan said in greeting when she saw her brother sipping a cup of coffee in the kitchen just after five the next morning. "What’s going on?"

  "Not much," he sighed, his gaze remaining relatively unfocused. "I have to get going, but…"

  He looked so bereft that she approached him and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. "Are you okay?"

  "She doesn’t want to see me any more," he said, looking remarkably hurt.

  "What? Why?" Ryan was more than a little puzzled, thinking that they had looked pretty cozy just a few hours ago.

  "She’s not ready to settle down," he said glumly, his shoulders shrugging appreciably.

  "And you are? Since when?"

  "I don’t know," he said, his hand scrubbing at his closely cropped hair in an irritated gesture. "I just think she might have been the one, Ryan."

  "The one?" she asked slowly, thinking she must still be dreaming. "THE one?"

  "Yeah." He gave her a scowl, asking, "Is that impossible to believe? I can love someone too, ya know!"

  "Hey, hey, don’t get mad at me. I know that you can fall in love, Conor. I just didn’t think you’d had time to do so. I mean, you basically had two dates."

  "She fits, Ryan," he said slowly. "I’ve got a list, and she fits it better than any woman I’ve known."

  Now thoroughly fascinated, Ryan gazed thoughtfully at her brother, placing her hand on his arm. "Tell me about your list, Conor."

  He shrugged and waited a few seconds, obviously trying to determine if he should reveal something so private. He must have decided in the affirmative because he got a very thoughtful look on his face and said, "Okay. First off, she has a smokin’ hot body."

  Ryan nodded, her illusions about her brother’s emotional depth flying out the window. "She does indeed. Fabulous ass," she added, just to show that she understood the depth of his loss.

  "Wo!" he agreed solemnly. "It feels better than it looks, too. Second, great face. That’s a tough combo, you know. Most of the really pretty girls I’ve dated have something scary wrong with their bodies. Mia’s got the whole package."

  "Nice eyes, full lips." Ryan could have gone on, but she didn’t want to compound his pain.

  "Right. Third thing. She’s amazingly low maintenance. Her hair looks nice after she just runs her fingers through it a few times. Not much make-up. She looks really great, and she gets that she’s dressing for the guy, you know? I hate those women that spend hours getting ready and they don’t look one bit hotter. What’s up with that?"

  "Got me," Ryan shrugged, coincidentally agreeing with her brother on this point.

  "Last point—and it’s a big one," he warned. "She’s totally relaxed about sex. She acts like it’s supposed to be fun—not some big religious experience."

  "Big one indeed," Ryan agreed. She shook her head slowly, sparing a sympathetic look for her brother. "I didn’t realize that Mia was four for four on your list, Conor. No wonder you’re bummed."

  He gazed into her eyes, so similar to his own. "Thanks, Sis. You’re really great to talk to about this kinda stuff."

  "Any time, Bro. That’s what sisters are for." Getting up to get the juice she had come down for, she wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his cheek. "I know she was special, but I guarantee that there’s another woman who can meet your requirements. I mean, there are two of them living in the same house, for God’s sake! How hard could it be to find another?"

  Part Six

  After a short talk, the coach and Jamie decided that Ryan would not be allowed to practice until the following week. Luckily Ryan accepted this decision and was content to attend the Saturday night game and sit in the stands. The five-game loss was too much for her to bear stoically and she groused about the game the entire time, not even going to the floor to speak to her teammates. Luckily, the exertion took so much out of her that she fell asleep almost as soon as they hit their room, so Jamie was spared any further complaints.

  Jamie’s first golf match was on Monday and Tuesday in Oregon, and while Ryan was heartbroken about not being able to attend, she couldn’t miss any more classes. She also thought that she would be able to practice on Monday, and there was no way that she would let the team down. On Sunday afternoon Ryan suggested they take a nap together before Jamie had to leave for her flight. Jamie was a little concerned, hoping that Ryan’s need for naps had diminished, but she accepted the offer just to be close. Even though they had been close physically during the illness, there was still something missing between them—some indefinable spark that their lovemaking provided.

  She had been quite worried when even her blatant propositioning of Ryan in the kitchen a few nights earlier hadn’t resulted in sex. The tall woman had let her climb her body like a jungle gym, even managing to adopt the cool dispassionate look she used to use to lure women into her lair. But as soon as they got upstairs, Ryan had climbed into bed and drifted off before Jamie even got her teeth brushed.

  Jamie knew that some intimate contact would give them a little sustenance for their separation, but she didn’t want to rush Ryan, so they took off their clothes and snuggled together for a while. She was nearly asleep when she felt a hand slowly crawling up the inside of her thigh. She turned her head and saw twinkling blue eyes framed by one raised eyebrow and a delightfully crooked grin. "You’re back," she cried as she flung her arms around Ryan’s neck and kissed her deeply.

  "I am," Ryan agreed. "I might be a little rusty, but I think I remember how to do this." She slipped her han
ds down and cupped Jamie’s smooth cheeks, murmuring, "Everything seems to be right where I left it." As Jamie’s thigh lifted and slid around Ryan’s waist her hand snaked downward a few inches, feeling the moist humidity of her favorite spot. "Oh yeah," she whispered. "Everything seems to be in working order."

  "Everything works because of your touch," Jamie said softly. "My body is so attuned to yours…sometimes it feels like we’re one."

  ""It feels like that to me, too," Ryan whispered. "And when you get on that plane tonight, it’s going to feel like you’re taking half of my heart with you."

  "Let’s not think about that now, Sweetheart," Jamie begged, placing the tips of her fingers against Ryan’s soft lips. "Let’s just fill each other up with love. That’ll get us through the next few days."

  "Your love will see me through all of the days of my life, Jamie," Ryan murmured, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "You’re the best part of me."

  With a soft smile, Jamie gently corrected her, "No, you’re the best part of me."

  Reaching an immediate compromise, Ryan decided, "We’re the best part of each other."

  "That I can live with," Jamie agreed. She dipped her head and started to kiss her partner, working on Ryan’s mouth with an unwavering focus. The larger woman seemed lazy and lethargic in her responses, and Jamie realized that she was waiting to be seduced. Always willing to comply with Ryan’s silent requests, she changed her mindset and took the lead, glad to have the opportunity.

  Ryan was naturally dominant, and she usually led the erotic dance, but occasionally she just lay back and opened herself to Jamie’s desire. It didn’t happen often--just enough to make life interesting. One of the things Jamie most appreciated about her partner was her versatility, in life and in their lovemaking, and she was grateful that Ryan encouraged her to explore every facet of her own desire.

  Often when Jamie led it was because she was beside herself with need and was completely unable to control herself or wait for her partner to satisfy her. But today they were both just a little tentative, a little unsure of how to touch one another after such a long absence. It had been more than two weeks, and she thought back to their frenzied couplings after she had been in Rhode Island for just a week. Even though this was more than twice as long, she was startled to discover that she wasn’t thrumming with desire. In fact, her need was more to investigate and rediscover the pleasures of Ryan’s body, and she set out to do just that.