Raising Landry

by Andee Michelle

  Just thinking about the accident brings a pain to my chest. It’s been a little over a week since it happened and I still can’t believe she’s gone. It’s like the moment I start to feel any sort of emotion other than sadness, I remember that my best friend is dead because of some crazy fucker who I pissed off. Maybe if I’d just dealt with his smart-ass comments differently, or maybe if I’d just not embarrassed him that night, none of this would’ve happened. I wouldn’t be laid up in the hospital, Landry wouldn’t have lost her mom and my best friend would still be alive.

  Why does my temper have to get the best of me? Couldn’t I have just ignored his comments, went about my life without having to embarrass him? Why can’t I just let shit go?

  My cell is also in my purse, thankfully. The screen is surprisingly intact, but everything is scuffed up and the battery is dead. One of the nurses tells me she thinks she has a couple chargers in the lost and found and she’ll bring them in so we can see if any of them work. I don’t know why I feel so weird without access to my phone.

  One of the chargers does work and we plug in my phone. By the time Landry and Pops leave, I’m exhausted and decide to leave my phone calls and text messages to deal with tomorrow.

  When I get around to checking my phone calls and text messages the next day, I’m floored at the amount of them! I’ve gotten calls from co-workers expressing their condolences about Lulu, calls from attorneys wanting to talk to me about a civil suit, one message from Lu’s attorney asking about how I’m feeling and when I think we’ll be able to come for her Will reading. I see texts from New Guy and some from “unknown number.” I decide New Guy will probably have completely given up on me by now. It’s been a couple weeks since I was supposed to text him after finals to set up our date.

  Over the course of the last couple weeks, the texts go from hopeful, to irritated, to pissy, to sad.

  NG: Hey, Carson. So are you ready for our date tomorrow night? J

  NG: Gonna need your address to pick you up tonight, Carson. Are you still up for the date?

  NG: So, is that a no since you’re not responding?

  NG: Damn, Carson. You could just say you’re not interested anymore.

  NG: Did you change numbers? Is this still Carson’s phone?

  NG: Okay. I get it. You didn’t have to blow me off like this. You could’ve just told me to piss off.

  NG: Come on, Carson. I thought we hit if off well. I really would love to take you out some time.

  NG: All right. Now I’m really beginning to feel like a stalker. It’s been 2 weeks and you still have not responded to any of my texts. If you don’t respond to this one, I’ll leave you alone.

  And the final one came yesterday.

  NG: Goodbye, Carson.

  I decide I should let him go. I’m going to need to focus on my recovery and taking care of Landry. I don’t have time for a man in my life right now.

  I pull up the texts from the unknown number and gasp when I see a string of texts:

  UN: U r crazy if u think I’m dumb enough to let them catch me

  UN: The police will never find me bitch

  UN: If u didn’t think u were better than everyone else, this wouldn’t have happened

  UN: Better watch ur back bitch

  UN: The cops can’t protect u from me, I will find u

  And the last one takes my breath away…

  UN: don’t think I can’t get to you at the hospital C u soon carson

  I drop the phone and scream. The nurses rush in and grab my hand, shooting a flurry of questions my way, but all I can do is scream. I scream for the pain this man has caused me. I scream for the pain he has caused that beautiful little girl. I scream for Lulu. I feel a burning in my arm and look down to see a nurse rubbing my hand as another administers something into my IV port. I know they’re sedating me, but I need them to call the police.

  “Please. Call the police and have them come here and look at my phone,” I say quickly. I feel myself falling under. “Please. The text messagggeess…”

  I wake to voices in my room. I slowly open one eye and then blink a few times because I must be seeing things. I close my eyes, reach up and rub them, and then slowly open them again. Here, standing in my room, staring out the window is New Guy. What the hell?

  “Hi,” I say with a scratchy voice.

  He spins around and walks toward my bed quickly.

  “Carson. I am so sorry. I wish I had known you were here this whole time!” He speaks quietly, like he’s trying not to wake someone.

  “How? Why are you here?” I ask, still confused at what’s going on.

  “The police called me when they saw my text messages on your phone. They told me you’d been in an accident and needed to speak to me and requested I come to the hospital,” he explains quickly.

  That makes sense. The last thing I remember was asking the nurses to call the police and have them look at my texts. At least I know they’d done that.

  “Once I realized what was going on, I felt like such an asshole for being kind of a prick in the texts. I had no idea.” He stops for a moment and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry about your friend, Carson. The police officers told me you lost her.”

  I turn my head away from him and take a deep breath. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the idea that she’s gone.

  “Kyler,” he whispers. I turn to him and give him a questioning look. “My name is Kyler.” I smile weakly at him.

  “I’m sorry, Kyler. Right now is not a good time to deal with anything other than what I already have on my plate. There apparently is a crazy man after me. You don’t need all this crazy in your life,” I say as strongly as I can.

  “Carson, I don’t know what it is about you, but I just can’t stay away. I was like crazy-stalker guy, blowing up your phone for weeks after I thought you blew me off. I like you. Like, a lot. Let me help you through this; if for no other reason than you needing a friend right now.” He gives me a small smirk.

  “Did you just friend-zone yourself, Kyler?” I chuckle but wince because it hurts.

  I turn and look into his beautiful blue eyes and something in me sort of melts. I trust this guy. He has kind eyes and although he’s totally hot, he just said he’d be my friend while I fight this battle. I need that in my life right now. Not a relationship, but a strong man who cares about me enough to step back and be nothing but my rock and my friend.

  “I definitely am not friend-zoning myself.” He smirks again. “But I do want to spend time with you and help you through this. Please let me.”

  “Thank you,” I say with the first genuine smile I’ve been able to manage in weeks. “You may be sorry you’re asking to suffer through this with me. I have a long road to full recovery. They are also still looking for the lunatic who did this and he’s now threatening me, which is awesome.” I trail off as I look out the window.

  “Who is this guy, Carson? The police really wouldn’t give me much detail. Do you know who it was?” he asks sheepishly, as though he’s afraid I’ll snap.

  “Remember the asshole at the bar that night? The one who I put in his place?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, Kyler jumps up and rubs his hands down his face.

  “Are you talking about Jerrod McCallister?” He looks at me with wide eyes. I can see the vein in his neck pulsing, and he is clenching his jaw hard enough to break teeth.

  I nod.

  “I’ll be right back,” Kyler tells me, and then storms out the door like his ass is on fire.

  That was odd. I don’t have time to wonder for long because just seconds later, Kyler is back with Detective Lopez, who must’ve been just outside my room.

  “Detective Lopez, I saw Jerrod McCallister this past weekend at The Beat, that bar near the wharf. He was with some of his buddies. Have you talked to them? I bet there is surveillance tape from that night so you can identify them,” Kyler spits out so quick it makes my head spin.

  I feel like I’m going to throw up. He’s st
ill in Seattle! I would guess he would have fled, at the very least out of state! The idiot was still in the city? Well, it shouldn’t be that hard for them to find him then!

  “Excuse me. I have phone calls to make,” Detective Lopez says as he stalks out of the room.

  Kyler starts pacing back and forth and I can tell he’s on edge. “Carson, I’m so sorry. He was right in front of me just a few days ago. If I’d known what he did, I would’ve ripped his arms off!” I can see his face turning red, and he is clenching his fists so tight it makes me wonder if he can actually break his hand doing that.

  “Kyler, come here please,” I say calmly as I pat the bed beside me.

  He halts and walks over to me, squatting down so he’s face to face with me.

  “You didn’t know. If you had, you would’ve gotten yourself in trouble for killing him,” I joke, and he smiles.

  “Look, I’m exhausted and working damn hard to get out of this place. You go home and get some rest,” I urge gently.

  “All right, I am pretty tired. I’ll be back in the morning, though.” He reaches over, grabs a phone from the nightstand and places it on my stomach. “The police took your phone, so I ran down and got you a toss phone so you had a way to text me if you need anything. I already programmed my number into it. Keep that close to you, Carson. If you need me at all, you call or text me. Promise me,” he rumbles.

  “I promise. Now get outta here.” I give him a gentle shove with my good arm.

  He leans over and kisses my forehead before heading to the door. He turns the lights out, winks at me and closes the door behind him.

  As much as I want to sleep, I am terrified that Jerrod is going to come here. The detective told me earlier that they were going to post a guard outside my door, so I should feel safer but I don’t really. I’m nervous to be alone, especially at night. What if he shows up and the guard is asleep?

  I lie back on the bed and stare out the window. Maybe I should have the nurse give me something to make me sleep. I know that’s a bad idea, though, because I really am trying to get out of here and if they think I’m not ready, they’ll make me stay.

  Kyler has come by a few times, and Pops and Landry visit me every day for the next week. I’m getting stronger now that I’m in physical therapy. My rehabilitation is definitely going to be long and painful. My shoulder was pretty messed up, and I will probably have to have at least one more surgery once I heal from this one.

  Three and a half weeks after the accident, I am finally discharged from the hospital. Kyler tells me he’ll pick me up. I make sure to call Pops so he knows I have a friend to take me home. I tell Pops to schedule the meeting with Lu’s attorney for some time soon so we can get it over with. I missed Lu’s funeral and I know that everything else has been on hold while I’ve been in the hospital. Pops has a few friends who have been helping him with Landry, but I know taking care of her has been hard on him.

  Although I’m terrified to even think about what the Will says, I know it needs to be done. Landry is an energetic 5-year-old and Pops is too old and has too much on his plate already. All I can do is keep my fingers crossed that if Lu didn’t leave Landry to me, that she left her to someone who lives close enough for me to see her often. I will be heartbroken if that little girl isn’t a part of my life.

  Lopez calls me right before I’m discharged to fill me in on how the investigation is going, which is nowhere. It seems Jerrod has basically disappeared into thin air. On one hand, that makes me happy because I haven’t heard from him. On the other hand, it pisses me off because that means he’s still out there, living his life, while Lu is gone and I’m a mess. The day I get to see that bastard behind bars will be a day of celebration! Lopez promises to update me with any new developments.

  Kyler picks me up from the hospital and takes me home. He pulls all my junk out of the back of his truck and starts bringing it up to my place. He nods for me to go ahead of him and refuses to let me help, of course. I open the door and allow him in, where he drops the first load and goes out for more. I hadn’t realized all the crap I had accumulated at the hospital. I guess over basically the month I was there, I had asked him, my neighbor Will and Pops to come to my place several times to get me things I needed.

  Once he has everything in, he shuts the door and flops down on the couch beside me. He grabs my hand and brings the back of it up to his mouth, kissing it gently.

  “I am so glad you are outta that damn hospital, Carson. I hate hospitals,” he says with a smile.

  “You and me both. If I never see another hospital for the rest of my life, I’ll be okay with that.” I laugh.

  My injuries are recovering nicely, although my shoulder may always bother me. I have three more weeks of physical therapy and then they’ll do another MRI to see if the surgery repaired everything. If it didn’t, I’ll need another one, and more therapy. I can only hope that my surgeon was a miracle worker and that I won’t have to go through that shit again.

  “So, Carson, what are your thoughts about me sleeping on the couch?” Kyler says with a stern look on his face.

  “Um, no. You’ve done enough for me the last few days; why would you want to stay the night here? I don’t need a babysitter,” I snap a little too harshly.

  He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. I can tell he’s fighting a battle in there somewhere, and I’m not sure what to make of it.

  “Look, I am not comfortable with you being home alone until that psychopath is caught. I saw those texts he sent to you, Carson. He is crazy and has some weird obsession with you. I would feel a lot better if you’d let me stay. I promise to be on my best behavior.” He smirks and then winks.

  It hadn’t even registered yet that I’d be in this house all by myself tonight, and all nights thereafter. Although he is completely right, I really don’t want to interfere in his life more than I already am. I know he said he wants to be my friend, but does he really want to put that much effort into this? I mean at some point this will get tiring for him, especially if I end up with custody of Landry. What single guy wants a woman who has all of this on her plate?

  “Earth to Carson. Where’d you go?” He laughs.

  “Sorry,” I grumble. “I was just thinking about how much you probably don’t want to root yourself into my crazy life this much. Kyler, you don’t have to do this,” I offer timidly.

  “I know I don’t HAVE to. I want to. I told you I want to be there for you; to be your friend,” he says seriously.

  “Okay. You can stay, but you don’t have to sleep on the couch. I have a spare bedroom.” I point toward the hallway.

  “Sounds good to me,” he agrees as he turns and walks toward the room.

  “You hungry?” I ask.

  “I could eat,” he yells as he crosses the threshold into the guest room.

  I stroll into the kitchen and grab takeout menus. I haven’t been home in weeks, so there is no food in the house and I don’t feel like cooking anyway. That’s even weird for me to think. I love to cook. It’s always been my “thing.” I’m sure it’s just from my exhaustion. I’ll need to go shopping tomorrow.

  Pops calls and tells me he made the appointment with the attorney for tomorrow to do the Will reading. I can tell he’s anxious to get it over with. We’ve both been living on pins and needles when it comes to Landry’s custody.

  Kyler and I chat while we wait for the pizza to arrive. The conversation is forced and uncomfortable. There is an electrical current in the air, and I know that he probably doesn’t feel it like I do but damn, that man is sexy. I must be daydreaming because as I watch him eat his pizza, I see a smirk creep up on his face.

  “Just can’t take your eyes off me, huh?” he says smugly.

  “Actually, you have pizza sauce on your chin. Vain much?” I reply with a smirk of my own.

  “You just keep telling yourself that, beautiful. I know you’re attracted to me. I can see the desire in your eyes.” His voice is deep and low.

  �
�Is that so? Well, I can’t say that you’re hard on the eyes. Plus, I’ve seen you checkin’ out my ass. You want a piece of this and you know it,” I joke back with him.

  He smirks and lifts his eyebrow before replying. “You have no idea, sweetheart. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that whole ‘I can twist myself into a pretzel” comment from the night at The Friedmont. That’s definitely been an image I’ve thought of late at night while I’m all alone.” He chuckles when he sees that my face is bright red and I can’t meet his eyes. Holy shit!

  I decide to give him some of his own medicine. “Oh, I’m sure you haven’t forgotten. Your eyes about bulged out of your head when I said it.” I giggle.

  “Well, it’s not every day a beautiful woman tells you that she has some serious flexibility skills.” He pauses to grab another piece of pizza. “But seriously, Carson, in the short amount of time I’ve known you, I think we’ve hit it off. I know that your life is crazy right now, but I’m not going anywhere. I feel this pull to you that I’ve never felt to anyone else. I know that sounds weird since we haven’t really known each other all that long, but it’s true.” He looks uncomfortable now. I’m totally shocked at his words.

  “Look, Kyler, I like you. You’re a good guy, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t seriously attracted to you. I feel that pull you’re talking about. But my life is so complicated right now. I’m afraid to drag you into it,” I tell him gently.

  He smirks again before replying, “Why don’t you let me worry about that.” He gets up, walks around the table and leans over so his face is just inches from mine. “I’m going to kiss you now, Carson,” he says as he slowly moves his mouth toward mine. My breath catches and I feel like my heart is going to stop. When his lips touch mine, I’m in Heaven. They are smooth and gentle, but quickly become more intense when I open to him. He takes full advantage and deepens the kiss.