When he returned to the bathroom, he carried two bottles of water and two plates of food.
“Well, this is a first. I’ve never eaten supper in the bathtub before.”
“Same goes here. I’ve never eaten while sitting on the toilet before, either.”
Lily laughed so hard her fork fell in the tub. “Oops!”
Clay made a move to help. “Want me to get it?” He was sure his lascivious grin guaranteed he’d have to feel around very thoroughly while he searched for it.
“Very funny!”
Chapter Sixteen
Later, after supper had been eaten and dishes were put away, Lily limped to her room wrapped in a towel. After dressing in her red flannel pajamas, which had indeed gotten very loose and floppy, she searched the box she’d left on the closet shelf. While looking for the envelope that held her medical information and other important paperwork, she found the box containing her old pictures. She hadn’t seen most of them in years, so pulled them out to share with Clay.
Clay was kneeling by the fireplace adding wood to the crackling blaze within. He stood when she entered the room, brushing his hands off on his jeans as he turned to her. She handed him the lab results, and he sat in the big, comfy recliner and turned on the floor lamp beside it, gesturing for her to join him. Something about the gesture compelled her as he gazed at her with some unreadable emotion in his eyes.
In the last week, the level of intimacy they shared had changed. He never put pressure on her with sexual advances, which should’ve been a relief but wasn’t. But that didn’t mean that he was content with her across the room on the couch.
He made no bones about the fact that he preferred to be close to her and seemed to particularly enjoy having her in his lap in that recliner. The thing was almost big enough for two people side by side, but she invariably wound up in his lap comfortably lounging. It was a relief that she’d lost some weight so she didn’t worry quite as much about hurting him.
She carefully joined him and settled as he looked closely at the photocopy she’d handed him. The doctor had ordered a wide range of tests, so many, in fact, that by the time the nurse had finished drawing blood, Lily had been ready to pass out. JT had thrown a royal temper tantrum when he’d found out how much the lab work had cost because they didn’t have health insurance. Thankfully, he’d forgotten about it by the time the results had come back. She’d carefully tucked the paperwork away and was grateful when he’d never asked about the test results.
“Going by the range of normal results listed for each test, all of your levels are within normal ranges, Lily.”
Lily nodded. “The doctor told me that but said I should be more careful and to look in the mirror if I needed proof that I had to make changes.” He’d always been polite to her, but Lily remembered how his insensitive words had soured her respect for the man.
Sounding shocked, Clay asked, “He said that to you?”
Lily nodded. “He was a gruff man. JT’s mother said he was ‘plainspoken.’”
“Let me guess. He was the King family doctor?” At Lily’s nod he folded the paper and handed it back to her. “That explains a lot, I guess. Numbers don’t lie, honey. And with as much weight as you’ve lost, they are probably all different now anyway.”
“I can’t afford to find out right now.”
With the subject seemingly closed, Clay tapped the box in her lap. “What do you have there?”
“The pictures Dad saved for me.”
Clay grinned like he was looking forward to something. “Can I see?”
Looking at the visual memories from her childhood might be uncomfortable, but Lily hoped that maybe Clay would be able to understand why she felt the way she did about losing weight, why it was so important to her to finally get that part of her life behind her so she could move on. She lifted the lid on the box.
“Oh, man,” Clay said then groaned.
Lily giggled as she lifted the picture on top. It was from kindergarten at Halloween in 1979. Mrs. Hobson had organized a Halloween parade in front of the school Lily, Clay, and Del had attended. In the picture, Lily was situated in her little witch costume, flanked by Del, dressed as a cowboy, and Clay, looking adorable in a ruffled, pastel floral print clown costume.
“I was scarred for life, you know.”
Lily chortled with glee. “You were so cute in your widdle clown costume.” The ensemble included a pair of floppy shoes, peaked hat with fluffy ball on top, and full clown makeup. Lily turned to him and kissed his cheek. “I remember you handling that humiliation with a lot of dignity. I think you knew it would’ve hurt your mom’s feelings if you’d rejected the costume after she’d spent so many hours sewing it. Ugh, look at me, all tubby.”
Clay took the picture from her and pointed at her legs, which were really all that could be made out of her with the costume and mask covering her. Clay pointed at one of the other girls. “There isn’t really that much difference, Lily. See?”
Lily scoffed. “Whatever. She was a little chunky, too, as I recall.” Lily remembered the way her mother had complained, trying to find a costume in the store that would fit her.
They leafed through the pictures and found some from a weekend trip to the Texas Gulf Coast she’d gone on with the Cook family the summer after sixth grade was finished. Mrs. Cook had been kind enough to give her several pictures from that trip, including this one. She remembered looking at it years and years ago and being so embarrassed. She’d been wearing short-shorts in the picture, which revealed just how fat her legs were. She’d taken the pictures home, given them to her mom for safekeeping, and never looked at them again.
“I remember this,” Clay murmured. “Mom and Dad let us stay up and watch MTV all night. That was a lot of fun.” Clay’s words barely registered as she frowned at the picture. “You okay, honey?”
She nodded as she laid the picture aside from the others. They soon reached the pictures that were taken after her family had moved away when she was in seventh grade, and Clay was particularly curious about these.
There was a picture of her in a long dress from a middle school choir concert when she was an eighth grader. That had been a hard year, making the adjustment to a new town. She’d felt like a whale in the lime-green dress with the scratchy blouse underneath. In the softness of her rounded cheeks was a hint of the woman she now saw in the mirror every day.
“You looked so unhappy.”
Lily frowned and replied, “Mom made me wear that dress. I hated it because it didn’t fit right. The neck was tight on that blouse and I felt like I was being strangled. Mom complained because it came from the Misses’ department and was more expensive.”
She gazed at the dress and remembered how she’d felt but couldn’t reconcile it with what she saw in the picture. She felt Clay’s eyes on her, but when she glanced up at him, he had a tender smile on his face. She laid the picture aside and continued on.
She flipped the next picture over to check the date. “This was taken my freshman year in high school.” It was a formally posed portrait, and the memory that stood out the most about it was her mom asking the photographer if he could position the wicker chair in front of her a little to hide her heavy thighs.
The photographer had been kind to her and winked when he positioned the chair and arranged her hands on the back of it and asked her to smile like a supermodel. Uncertainty had shown in her teenaged eyes, but she’d smiled for him anyway, showing too much teeth.
“You look as though you’d grown several inches taller by the time this was taken.”
The outfit she’d been wearing in the picture was a scratchy two-piece polyester outfit she recalled shopping for with her mom in the clearance racks at the local department store. Lily remembered her mom griping that she couldn’t find anything in her size. She’d felt so ashamed that there weren’t any clothes in the store that fit her.
Lily had a realization, remembering that time as an adult now. Her mom complained because of
the lack of selection on the clearance racks. They’d never ventured to any other department, and her mother had eventually decided on an ill-fitting outfit with a skirt that was so short Lily had never felt comfortable wearing it. Her self-consciousness showed in her eyes in the head-to-toe portrait.
Clay took the portrait from her and traced his finger over the long expanse of her legs. “Wow.” A lump burned in her throat at the admiration in his tone.
She sifted through the pictures, finding one from a football game, shot with friends in the spectator stands. Her mom had been about to take the picture but had mouthed to her to angle sideways so she would look thinner, dressed as she was in her sweatshirt, blue jeans, and high-top sneakers. She bit her lip and winced when she nearly drew blood.
She also found a snapshot taken of her at the beach the weekend after she graduated from high school. Clad in a one-piece bathing suit, she’d waved self-consciously at her dad as he’d taken the picture. Her mom had griped at him for not giving her a chance to pose so she looked thinner. In the picture she simply faced the camera, standing in the surf, with the wind blowing her long hair in her face.
The realization settled like a weight on her as she looked hurriedly through the rest of the pictures then back at the ones she’d set aside.
“Lily, you okay?” Clay asked, sounding concerned as he stroked her back.
She held the picture of her with her friends at the football game and said, “Clay, I remember looking at this picture and being ashamed for being so fat. I remember being fat in this picture!”
She tossed it in her lap and lifted the portrait of her with the chair placed so strategically. “I remember thinking ‘why bother with the chair when I’ll just stick out on both sides of it anyway?’ Clay, I recall looking at the proofs of these pictures and telling my mom and dad that they didn’t need to order any of mine because I was so embarrassed by them.” Lily looked hard at the picture, and tears overflowed her eyes.
She held up the picture from the trip she’d taken to the Gulf Coast with Clay and his family. “I remember being embarrassed that your family also had pictures like this with my gigantic, white thighs so exposed.”
“How do you feel looking at these pictures now?”
“I believed them, Clay. I believed my mom and I bought into what my friends said when they complained about being fat.”
“So, Lily, do you still believe any of what you were telling me earlier? About being fat all your life, all those years you were growing up away from here.”
She clasped the stack of telltale photographs to her chest as Clay pulled her close and tears rolled from her eyes. Her voice broke as she muttered, “I wasn’t fat.” The betrayal made her heart feel as though it was burning, and it was made worse by the fact she’d believed it so thoroughly. She remembered seeing a fat girl.
“No, you weren’t.” Clay lifted the picture of her from the football game, dressed in her snug, faded jeans and the posed portrait and said, “Baby, you had some nice legs. You still do. Do you see it now?”
Knowing her body image was forever altered, Lily nodded and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Thank you for understanding. For not thinking I’m crazy.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. Self-perception is an odd thing. I’m glad we looked at these and you had the chance to lay some old demons to rest. I think I could’ve kept telling you that you’re not fat until I turned blue in the face. Now you’ve seen the truth for yourself.”
Lily nodded, feeling as though she were an onion who’d just had several layers peeled rather painfully back. Maybe she should continue the trend.
“Clay, there is something I need to talk to you about.”
Clay pressed his lips to the top of her head as he squeezed her gently in his arms. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”
“I have a—”
Lily was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Clay grunted in what sounded like frustration. Lily climbed from his lap and followed him to the door, caressing the head of the rising phoenix statue which he’d moved inside and positioned in the entryway for her.
Clay opened the door, and she gasped when she saw who stood on the front porch, dirty ball cap crushed in his hands.
“Dirk!”
Chapter Seventeen
JT’s brother nodded at her, appearing to have a difficult time looking her in the eyes. “Lily.” She noticed his eyes widened perceptibly as he got a look at her.
Lily had never had a problem with Dirk. Given the way Natalie had disrespected him anytime they were all together and the fact that he’d been cuckolded by her, Lily had felt a little sympathy toward him. Being mild-mannered in the King family meant you were low in the pecking order. Clay wrapped a hand around her hip, guided her behind him, and hardened his jaw as he looked Dirk over.
“Clay, this is my…”
Dirk held his hand out to Clay. “I promise I’m alone and I’m not here to make trouble, sir. I’m Dirk King. I’m Lily’s soon-to-be ex-brother-in-law.” Clay shook his hand and at Lily’s urging, welcomed him inside.
Dirk wiped his boots thoroughly on the mat, and stepped into the house. He looked around, evidently feeling awkward judging by the way he fidgeted and wadded his hat.
Seeking to break the ice, Lily said, “Dirk, I was just about to make a pot of coffee. Do you still take yours black?”
For some reason that seemed to affect Dirk in a way she hadn’t expected, and his chin lowered guiltily. “Sure, Lily. That’d be great.”
She gestured for him to go into the living room, noting that he seemed to feel very ill at ease. “Come in and sit down.”
Clay gently circled her upper arm with his hand. “Lily, are you sure you’re up to this? I can talk to him, find out what he wants, and send him on his way.”
Lily smiled to reassure him. “I never had a problem with Dirk. Granted, he never intervened with JT but he never hurt me either. I want to know why he came all this way.”
Clay nodded and went into the living room while she stepped into the kitchen and got the coffeemaker going. She could hear them in the other room as Dirk answered his basic questions and filled him in about what he did for a living.
She stepped into the living room and asked, “Dirk, did you eat supper? Are you hungry?”
Dirk shook his head. “I stopped at a drive-thru on the way here.”
She nodded and went back in the kitchen. Her heart rhythm galloped as she pondered all the different reasons he might’ve made the long drive from Durst to Divine.
When she joined them and handed Dirk and Clay their mugs of coffee, it was obvious by the tension in the room that the subject of Lily’s disastrous relationship with JT had already been broached.
Lily sipped from her mug as she looked over the rim at Dirk. He smiled when he sipped the coffee and said, “Lily, you always made a good pot of coffee.”
“Thanks.” Hoping to set him at ease, she admitted, “I’ve been in the kitchen, worrying over all the reasons you might’ve driven this far to see me.”
Dirk nodded and rubbed his hands on his jeans. He’d cleaned up before coming here, but she recognized the dirt and grease crusted permanently under his nails. The fact that he’d gone to the trouble to try to clean up a little meant something to her. “It’s about this whole situation, Lily. I thought there were some things you needed to know. I don’t know…”
Lily smiled at him and nodded for him to continue at his own pace.
“I don’t know if it’s against the rules for me to have contact with you, or if I could get in trouble with the lawyers, or you could for agreeing to see me. But, Lily, you need to know what’s goin’ on.” He leaned forward with the last few words, setting his mug on the coffee table.
His suddenly urgent tone made her heart pound. “What’s going on?”
Dirk groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand up in places. His eyes seemed a little red-rimmed. “I only just found the letter
you wrote to me today. It must’ve gotten shoved back in the drawer somehow. For a while, I just thought that you’d gotten fed up and lit out of Durst. I was actually kinda mad because I felt like you’d abandoned him…and me. I realized after you’d gone, what all you did for us, for no pay and no appreciation either.” He stopped and let out a shaky sigh. “I’m getting this all screwed up, I’m sorry. I don’t know how much you know about what’s going on with your dad, but me and JT were in Gil’s Place a couple of nights ago. We were sitting in one of the booths and Les and some of his coffee buddies came in and sat in the booth next to ours.”
“Yeah?” Gil’s Place was the bar her father and his buddies had stopped at on occasion for years.
“Remember those booths have those high backs so unless you’re looking it’s possible to not see who is in the next booth when you sit down. Anyway, he was talking to his friends and we recognized his voice. I’m sorry, Lily, I didn’t know he had cancer, or if you ever told me, I didn’t remember.”
Lily shook her head. “I never said anything about it, Dirk.” Expressing sorrow over something like that in JT’s presence would have earned her more trouble than Dirk’s sympathy would’ve been worth.
“We both heard him tell his friends that when he kicks the bucket, you stand to inherit the money he and your mom saved over the years as well as being the beneficiary on his life insurance policy. He told his friend that you would be taken care of financially, probably for life if you were careful and invested. He felt bad for taking you away from Divine when you were little and even worse that you’d gotten tangled up with JT because of it. He blamed himself for how hard your life’s been. He said it was the least he could do for you. Lily, JT was listening to the whole conversation. He heard Les when his friend asked him how much you were getting.”
“Oh, crap,” Clay groaned. “And he answered him?”
Dirk nodded. “Yeah. Seventy-five thousand dollars plus a five hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy. I saw JT’s eyes when your dad said that. Les must’ve been drinking because he was talking a little louder than he probably meant to. His friend shushed him but…JT knows now. I got a bad feeling about this whole deal. When he got the divorce papers he threw them in a file drawer and they were still there the other day. I know he hasn’t been cooperating about that.”
Divine Phoenix [Divine Creek Ranch 10] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 19