by Lee, India
Spinning away from Chris, Damian smiled into his lowball of whiskey. He was too drunk to be looking at the seven-foot-tall Chris sulking like a toddler who just dropped his ice cream. As Damian ambled about the space, the door to their private balcony swung open. Vlad, a forward on the team, came barreling in. He made a beeline for Damian, wrapping his burly arms around his shoulders.
“I am so happy you are here!” he yelled, the smell of beer wafting from his big, bearded smile.
“Me too!” Damian yelled back, his voice muffled against Vlad’s oversized pinstripe button-down shirt.
“And I know you don’t want to talk serious things. You don’t want to talk contract and that is fine,” Vlad said, pulling away and holding Damian by the shoulders. His smile dropped into a very serious expression. Damian could tell Josh had probably coached Vlad on the ride over to the club. He was a passionate man and often talked himself to tears when expressing his love for his team and the game of basketball. “We don’t have to talk contract. We don’t have to talk anything but party.”
“I like the sound of that,” Damian smiled.
“Yes,” Vlad nodded, happily returning the smile. He pulled a glass of an indeterminate drink out for a toast. Damian raised his glass and watched as Vlad took a swig before turning back to him. “Also. I bring you girls.”
“What?” Damian said, his smile dropping as he stepped back. He wasn’t so naïve to believe that it was going to be a night out with just the guys, but he was also wary of Vlad’s announcement. The last thing he wanted was to extend his erroneous reputation with this night out. All he wanted to do was relax and unwind with the team.
“I said,” Vlad yelled. “I bring you girls!” He gestured behind him where the door to their suite was still open. A stream of about a dozen girls came through, all dressed to impress.
“Oh man,” Damian breathed, forcing a thankful smile for Vlad who looked back at him with two eager thumbs up. The girls quickly dispersed, moving around the space as if they had choreographed it. Though they scattered and cozied up to his various teammates, Damian couldn’t help but notice that most of their eyes were on him. Vlad shoved him back onto the large, tufted suede bench that ran down the middle of the room. Within milliseconds, a girl was sitting beside him. He suddenly wished he weren’t so drunk.
“Hey there,” she said, leaning into Damian with a surprising confidence. She wore a skintight halter dress, silver with a subtle leopard print. Her jet-black hair was long and impossibly straight, cascading over her shoulders like a silky curtain. “I’m Lacey.”
“I’m Damian,” he replied. Lacey giggled, throwing her hair back and leaning even closer, revealing her abundant cleavage. Damian averted his eyes, his lips crimped.
“Shut up, you’re so cute,” Lacey said. “As if you need to introduce yourself.”
“Right,” Damian let out an uncomfortable laugh, backing away as much as he could get away with. Not that this deterred Lacey. She just leaned in some more.
“I’ve been dying to meet you, Damian. I’m from the Bay Area and I tried for years to get your attention,” she started. Damian was surprised by her candor. “But you had that girlfriend and then you were dating Queen Bee or something – does anyone still call her that? Ugh, I can be so outdated. I must be getting old.”
“Ha,” Damian said, not knowing what else to say in response. Lacey stared at him expectantly, as if that wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Damian took in a deep breath, shaking his head. “I mean, what’re you? Like twenty? How’d you even get into this place?” He hoped to God she wasn’t under twenty.
“I’m twenty-six, silly,” she whispered. “I know. I’m so much older than you.”
“Not that much, really.”
“Oh my God, you’re too kind!” Lacey squealed, hitting him playfully on the shoulder.
“Right,” Damian laughed. “So what are you doing in New Orleans?”
“I came here for school. I’m studying for my biomedical sciences masters at Tulane. It’ll be my second masters.”
Damian’s eyebrows raised a little more than he would have liked. As surprised as he was, he didn’t want it to show. Thankfully, Lacey laughed instead of taking offense.
“I’m sorry,” Damian shook his head. “Delayed reaction.”
“It’s okay, I know what you were thinking,” she said. “People think pretty girls can’t be smart or something.”
“That’s not true,” Damian replied. “At least not for me. I’ve known a lot of very intelligent, very beautiful women.”
“But you didn’t think I was one of them,” Lacey said, arching an eyebrow.
“I didn’t say that, not at all,” Damian said. “But I am sorry. For, you know, looking surprised.”
“Make it up to me,” Lacey said, sitting up straight as she kept her eyes on him.
“How…” He replied before he could think it through. He remembered now why he rarely allowed himself to get drunk. Instead of answering, Lacey grabbed the lapels of his blazer and pulled him into her. She planted her lips onto his, kissing him deeply. He could hear his teammates cheering and laughing, undoubtedly tickled to see that he was going all out on his first night out in some time. Fine, then, he thought. He put his hand on the back of Lacey’s neck, pulling her in closer and kissing her back.
Suddenly, he felt two large hands grab him from behind and pull him to his feet. He looked up to see Chris and Vlad directing him to a curtained corner of the balcony. Vlad held back the heavy velvet curtains. They smelled of alcohol and smoke. He pushed Damian in playfully, laughing as he took Lacey by the hand and swung her in as well.
“Look at this beginning of a beautiful friendship! And all because of me, I feel such honor for this moment,” Vlad yelled. “Enjoy your beautiful friendship!” He let go of the curtains, allowing them to fall together and enclose Damian and Lacey in the tiny corner. Damian looked around, though there wasn’t much to see. It was only about twelve square feet of space with a single, dirty ottoman in the corner. A mirror lined the wall behind it. It looked like a shady fitting room. Damian could only imagine what the club owners had in mind when they built it in.
“Not fancy enough for you?” Lacey teased. “We don’t need anything fancy.” She put a hand to his chest, running her hands down the muscular ridges of his torso before giving him a quick push. He fell backwards onto the ottoman. I’m never drinking this much again.
Lacey climbed on top of him. He swallowed hard as she drew closer. She kissed him fiercely, running her fingernails down the front of his shirt. Damian knew that doing something like this was nothing new to his teammates, but he had never found anything appealing with hooking up with a stranger at a club with nothing but a curtain separating him from the public. But as unsure of what he was doing, Damian didn’t stop Lacey. He could smell her perfume on her neck, something with lavender and vanilla. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the corner, taking a deep breath. Something about the combination felt familiar.
“What’s wrong?” Lacey said, actually sounding concerned. Damian kept his eyes closed, furrowing his brows at the question. He actually felt strangely relaxed.
“I’m a little tired, I’m sorry,” Damian said. “But nothing’s wrong.” A small smile crept up on his lips. Lacey’s voice was warm and kind of sweet when she wasn’t in vixen mode.
“You don’t like what you see?” Lacey joked, sounding more teasing than upset.
“I liked it just fine,” Damian laughed, his eyes still shut peacefully in his suddenly calm state. “But you don’t need me to tell you that.” He reached his arms around her waist, pulling her body into his. She took it as a cue to kiss him again. He kissed her back, inhaling the intoxicating scent that came off her soft skin. Her hair fell around them, closing them in even more.
Damian fluttered his eyes open, finding himself in the darkness that her curtain of hair created. Lacey opened her eyes as well, leaning her forehead against his as she drew he
r lips back. He reached up to cup her face in his hands. The mischievous glint in her gaze was gone, replaced by her fleeting reflection of the moment. Damian could see the color of them now – an emerald green.
She held his gaze as she slipped her fingers into the top of his jeans. He bit his lip, debating if he should let her continue. He was conflicted. A part of him wanted to throw all caution to the wind and step outside of himself for once but another part of him knew how much he’d hate himself for it the next day.
“Let me take care of you,” she whispered. Damian nodded, not knowing how else to react. He was suddenly undeniably attracted to her, but everything about it felt wrong. It wasn’t who she was, how drunk he was, where they were, or the fact that they had just met. None of those things were Damian’s preference, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t the reason he felt so troubled. But despite the troubled feeling, he also felt like he needed someone else to take the reins, at least for a little bit. Leaning back, he watched as she undid the button of his jeans, unzipping him with a teasing smile.
“Excuse me,” a muffled voice called from outside the curtained corner. Damian’s eyes snapped open just in time to see the curtains get pulled back. Lacey jumped up and away from Damian, leaving him sitting on the ottoman with his fly down. Luckily, the figure before them did a good job at concealing what was going on inside.
“Azura,” he exhaled. “What are you doing here?”
“Catching you with your pants down,” she replied, a hint of a smile on her lips.
“They’re not down,” Damian retorted. “Just, well…” He stood up, looking down at his unzipped pants. He shook his head, turning away as he zipped himself up.
“Girl,” Azura said, nodding in Lacey’s direction. “Get out. I’m next on the list.”
“What?” Lacey blinked, looking confused rather than angry.
“There’s a wait list for this boy, get your ass to the end of the line.”
“Azura. Please.” Damian glared at her. “Stop with this list thing.”
“What? Like it’s not the truth? I’m just being realistic here. I keep up with the news. I know what it takes to get to you.”
“No you don’t,” Damian said. He sighed, feeling the onslaught of his sudden sobriety. He stood there for a moment, feeling a bit embarrassed as he looked at Lacey and Azura. Finally, he walked around the two girls, exiting to the main part of the balcony where his teammates looked on, seemingly disappointed.
“Where ya goin’?” Josh asked, taking his arm from the waist of a pretty blonde. He used his freed hands to grab a glass of what Damian hoped was water, handing it to him. “Pretty crazy, huh? Azura crashing the party. And she’s crazy hot, huh?”
“Yeah,” he said, taking a careful sip from the glass Josh had handed him. It was indeed just water. Josh shook his head, sensing Damian’s sudden apprehension of everything around him.
“Hey, I’m sorry. If you felt pressured or something. We just wanted you to have a good time. We know you’ve had a lot on your mind. Also, we had nothing to do with Azura showing up. It would have been really cool if she wasn’t here to cockblock. No idea that was gonna happen, I swear.”
“No, it’s fine,” Damian said, downing the water. The iciness soothed the burning in his throat. “I wanted to come out. Just in a weird mood, man. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, man,” Josh shook his head. “I swear we just wanted you to loosen up and enjoy yourself. And have fun together. Especially because we don’t even know if we have you again… next season…” Josh gritted his teeth together, looking immediately regretful of his words. Damian rubbed his face in his hands.
“Alright,” he sighed. “I know.”
“How are you getting back?”
“Walking, I guess.”
“You’re going to be stopped by everyone. And the people on Bourbon right now are way too drunk to censor themselves,” Josh said, holding Damian by the arm. “I’ll go back with you. We’ll call a car. Sound good?”
“Yeah.”
~
“You seemed to like her though, that girl,” Josh said, breaking the silence in the back of the towncar. Their hotel was just three blocks away, but they wanted to avoid braving the pedestrian traffic. Damian looked out into the raucous crowds, bleary-eyed.
“I guess,” he replied. “She kind of reminded me of someone.”
“Oh yeah?” Josh said, turning away from the partiers outside his window as they sat at the red light. “Do I know her?”
“Yeah,” Damian said.
“Nicki?”
“No.”
“Your mom?”
“What?” Damian laughed, covering his eyes as he leaned back against the headrest. “What is wrong with you, man?”
“So. Gemma, then,” Josh nodded. Damian didn’t reply. “You haven’t talked about her in awhile.”
“What’s there to talk about.”
“What’s going on, man?” Josh asked, looking stone cold serious despite his blatant fight against his tipsiness. “I know we fucked up bad back at the club but we just wanted to help, you know? We hate seeing you like this.” The car pulled into the circular entrance of their hotel. Josh leaned into the front seat and handed the driver several twenties too many. “Just give us a minute, ‘kay man? Thanks.” He turned his attention back on Damian.
“I don’t know where to go next year,” Damian sighed. He’d rather talk about what team he was choosing than Gemma. It was the lesser of two evils. “But no one believes me.”
“I think you’re kidding yourself,” Josh blurted out. Damian squinted at him. He was sick of hearing these same phrases from the people closest to him. But he wasn’t so delusional that he believed it all to be a coincidence. “The team thinks you want to head to New York because that was your team growing up and it’s totally natural to want to play for them. God knows I’d play for The Heat if they’d have me. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. They think you won’t say anything because you feel bad about leaving us behind. Because a lot of us know that when you leave, a bunch of us are probably going to go too. It won’t be the same team. And they think you feel bad about being responsible for that.”
“They’re not wrong. But that’s only if I had already decided to go to New York, which I haven’t. I’m not some little kid anymore. I’m not gonna let my old fanboy self make this decision.”
“That’s just what the rest of the team thinks. I think the real reason you’re not just coming out and saying that you want to go to New York is because you know that Gemma’s there. And it’s probably easier to deal with the fact that you two are still just friends if you’re not in the same city.”
“I don’t need you to tell me that,” Damian laughed, a bit bitterly. “And I definitely didn’t need to know how transparent I apparently am.”
“Nah, man. You’re not transparent. But you can’t think staying quiet will keep the people who love you from knowing what’s up.”
“And you’re so sure you know what’s up,” Damian smirked.
“I do, man.”
Damian thought about it. If the people who loved him knew how he felt this whole time, what were they doing then? Aubrey had introduced him to Azura. Josh was undoubtedly at least half behind Vlad’s female flash mob. Did that mean they thought there really was no chance with Gemma? Does Gemma know how I feel about her? Or does she not love me the way that Josh and Aubrey claim to love me?
“You’re such a sage when you’re drunk,” Damian said, laughing at Josh with a shake of his head.
“So I’m right?” Josh’s face lit up. “Well, then I’m a fucking medium.”
“I didn’t say you were right. Just that you try to get all deep after you drink,” Damian stepped out of the car, closing the door before Josh could get out behind him. He leaned into the open passenger window, smiling at the driver. He pulled a few bills out of his pocket and gave it to him. “Take the man back to the club for me, please? He’s not done with his night.�
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“I said I’d come back with you, we can keep talking!” Josh said, sticking his head out of his window like a puppy. Damian smiled at the sight, waving a goodbye to him as the car pulled away.
~
Damian threw himself into his bed, burying his face in the crisp white pillows. In the freshly laundered sheets, he was suddenly aware of all the things he smelled like, none of which was particularly pleasant. Stale booze, smoke, and sweat clung to his jacket. He rolled over, pulling his blazer off and throwing it to the ground. A faint waft of the lavender and vanilla hung in the air for a moment, before disappearing again into the less pleasant scents. He kicked off his shoes, pulling his legs up onto the bed as he sat there, alone and enjoying the quiet.
They knew. They knew before he did. Or maybe he just hadn’t acknowledged it. Maybe he wasn’t ready to. Was he so obvious about his feelings that everyone around him just knew what this was all about? God, that meant his mother probably also knew. She hadn’t tried the game with him this time, hadn’t asked him what city he wanted to play for. He knew his mother would want him home, close to her again after being gone for so long, but she didn’t say a thing. Which was unlike her. Because she knew what was keeping him. She was there when it all started. She remembered him in high school, when Damian would come home after practice. She said he always knew if he had seen Gemma that day because he “would just have this glow.”
He fell back onto the bed, covering his face with the pillow and muffling a frustrated scream. This is why he didn’t want to start think about it. This is why he didn’t want to deal with this big decision. There was much more to it than what team he was going to play for. This was about the zip code that would be on his new address and how close it would be to hers. This was about living out his lifelong dream of playing for the Knicks but having it forever marred by the fact that Gemma didn’t want him.
A rapt knock came from the door. He sat up, his shoulders heaving with the heavy breaths he needed to keep himself together. He opened the door, not bothering with the peephole, only to find Azura standing there.