“Really?” Garrick looked at Anna. “You look like you’re going to a funeral. Where’s the happy girl we’re used to seeing?”
Anna shrugged. “I guess she grew up.”
“What’s wrong, Anna?”
“Nothing.” She turned from his questioning gaze. Garrick was the big brother she’d never had. He’d protected her more than once, even took blame when the rock she threw at a bird broke a neighbor’s window. She didn’t want to burden him with this, too.
“Did Kathleen do something to you?”
Tears filled Anna’s eyes just when she thought she’d used them all. She shook her head, then nodded. “If you must know, Jeremiah Tucker came to the house before I left and asked Papa’s permission to court Kathleen.”
Garrick’s eyebrows shot up. “You heard him?”
Anna nodded. “Yes, and Papa said yes.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she covered them with her mittens. “Kathleen doesn’t love Tuck. I do, but he wants her. Oh, it doesn’t matter anyway. Papa’s sending me away. Kathleen’s perfect, and she’s staying here.”
Jeremiah stepped off the Wilkins’ front porch. He should be walking on air, but he felt as if his feet were dragging through six-inch-deep mud. He had permission to court Kathleen if she agreed. She hadn’t been home, but he’d talk to her tomorrow at church. That didn’t concern him, but Anna did. How could he spend time with Kathleen without running into Anna? He couldn’t. When had she become more to him than a substitute sister?
He turned and walked toward the lake, his mind and emotions roiling. He should be happy. He’d just been given the opportunity to win the hand of the prettiest girl in Tumwater. Or so everyone else seemed to think. Why had her father asked if he’d meant Anna? A man should want his oldest daughter to marry first.
Jeremiah shook his head and stood at the lake, taking little note of his surroundings. He might as well go to town and pick up a few things from the mercantile. Retracing his steps, he broke into a run. Maybe the exercise and the cold wind would clear his mind. A few minutes later, he slowed to a fast walk and concentrated on Kathleen. Beyond her outward appearance, she seemed attractive inside. Her manner was gentle. She worked hard at camp just as she had at their fishing party. She was—
Jeremiah slowed to a stop, his gaze locked on Anna. She stood across the street by the feed store with Garrick and her friend, Miss Whitworth. His heart ran faster than he had. What was wrong with him? A glimpse of Anna turned him into a smitten schoolboy.
Garrick held his arms out to Anna, and she fell against him for a tight embrace.
Jeremiah’s stomach twisted. His heart constricted. Anna always sat with Garrick and his sisters in church. He’d seen them together talking before. A harsh, short laugh tore from his throat. He’d fallen in love with a girl who belonged to another. Good thing he’d asked for her older sister instead.
Disgusted with himself, Jeremiah turned away from the cozy scene and almost bumped into E.V., who was stepping off the boardwalk. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
E.V. grinned. “That’s pretty obvious. What’s got your dander up?”
“Nothing.” He heard the growl in his voice even before E.V.’s eyebrows rose.
E.V. looked toward the feed store. “Ah, I see. I thought you were spending more time with Miss Wilkin than mere friendship. What was she doing hugging Leonard?”
“How should I know? It’s none of my business.” Jeremiah took off at a fast walk down the street. So what if they hugged? Pain squeezed his heart.
E.V. fell into step with him. “None of your business? If you have feelings for Miss Wilkin, why don’t you let her know?”
“Because I plan to court her sister.”
“What?”
“I just got permission from her father.” Jeremiah couldn’t resist a quick glance over his shoulder. He breathed better when he saw Anna heading one direction and Garrick the other. He forced a laugh. “Besides, Anna’s only a kid. I’m looking for a wife. I just need to convince Kathleen she wants the job.”
“Job? How romantic.” E.V. stopped and turned as if to walk away.
Jeremiah looked at him. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere away from this foolhardy path you’re trodding.” E.V. waved over his shoulder. “Good luck, my friend. You’ll need all you can get.”
Chapter 9
Jeremiah sat with Kathleen the third Sunday in a row. Even after two weeks of courting her, his gut instinct was to run. Fine. That’s exactly what he wanted. A woman who wouldn’t tear him up inside if anything happened to her. He glared across the church where Anna sat beside Garrick. Ever since he saw them hugging in public, they’d sat side by side.
“And ‘the just shall live by faith.’ ” Pastor Bollen’s voice brought Jeremiah’s attention to the front where it belonged. He forced himself to listen. Better to focus there than across the aisle. A lot better than what he wanted to do. Especially since asking a friend to step out of church for a round of fisticuffs would shock more than a few in the congregation.
He’d lost Anna, and he might as well accept it. No, he’d never had her. Marriage with Anna would never work anyway. She was too young, and crazy as it sounded, he cared too much for her. He’d never been in love before Anna, but he’d get over her.
“Let’s talk about faith now.” Again the reverend’s voice intruded. “The Bible says faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.”
Another glance revealed Garrick leaning toward Anna while she whispered something to him. Jeremiah looked away and squirmed, bringing a sharp look from Kathleen.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
She smiled.
He couldn’t ask for a sweeter girl than Kathleen. She’d make a perfect wife. Must run in her family. Anna was sweet, too. She was fun, smart, beautiful—and lost to him. He slanted a glance toward Kathleen. His choice was best. Anna had his heart in a twist now, and she wasn’t even his. Kathleen would never do that to him. Maybe he should ask Kathleen to marry him right away. Why wait? Get it settled. Then he wouldn’t be pestered with thoughts of Anna all the time. He gave a decisive nod and settled back with his arms crossed to listen to what was left of the sermon. Before he had time to make sense of the reverend’s words, they were standing, and it was time to go.
He turned to Kathleen. “Would you go for a walk with me this afternoon? I’ll pick you up around two if that’s all right.”
She nodded. “Yes, that would be nice.”
“Fine. I hate to go off and leave you now, but I need to catch up with the other men. We’re all eating together. Since we don’t work in the same area, we try to get together at least once on the weekend.”
“I understand. I don’t mind at all.” Kathleen smiled and touched his arm. “You go ahead. I have a way home with my parents.”
“All right.” Jeremiah returned her smile and headed outside where the others waited.
Anna breezed past him as if he were standing still. “Anna,” he called out when he should have kept his mouth shut.
She froze for a second before turning with the fakest smile he’d ever seen. What was wrong with her?
“Hello, Mr. Tucker. What are you doing?”
He frowned. “What happened to Tuck?”
She waved a gloved hand in front of her face. “Oh, I think Kathleen wouldn’t like me calling her beau that.”
“Why would she care? She seems agreeable.” A lot more than her little sister. A lot more boring, too.
Anna laughed. “Yes, she’s agreeable most of the time. Well, nice talking to you. I need to get home.”
She crossed the street before Jeremiah got his breath. He might have watched her until she was out of sight, but Frederick called to him. “Hey Tuck, we’re heading out. You comin’?”
“Yes.” Jeremiah turned on his heel and followed the men.
E.V. dropped back beside him. “Sure you know what you’re doing, buddy?”
Jeremiah glanced toward An
na hurrying down the road. The muscle in his jaw ticked, but he nodded. “I’m positive.”
“I hope so. Your girl is pretty, but her sister is, too, don’t you think?”
“Yes.” Jeremiah nodded. “Pretty young.”
E.V. gave a sad shake of his head. “Is that what you think?”
Jeremiah drew his brows together and lengthened his stride. Maybe he didn’t really think that, but it made a good excuse. He’d been hurt enough for one lifetime.
He followed the others in the diner where his stomach rebelled against the tasteless food they complimented. Their conversation turned from friendly banter to deeper issues as the food disappeared.
“The talk about statehood’s been getting serious lately.” Willum leaned back after cleaning his plate. “Won’t be long until it’s signed, sealed, and delivered.”
What difference did it make? Jeremiah pushed his plate away. At the moment, he didn’t care one way or the other what became of Washington. Territory or state, it was all the same to him. If he was going to talk Kathleen into accepting his proposal, he needed to go. No wonder he’d been unable to eat. He was nervous. Perfectly normal reaction. He just wished the unease stirring his insides would stop. Maybe when she agreed to marry him, it would.
He stood. “Sorry, but I promised Kathleen we’d go on a walk this afternoon. I’m due to pick her up pretty soon.”
Frederick lifted his eyebrows. “Sounds like things are getting serious.”
Jeremiah shrugged.
E.V. met his gaze, looked as if he might speak, but didn’t.
A quick nod and Jeremiah headed toward the Wilkins’ house.
After greeting Anna’s—or rather Kathleen’s parents, he walked beside her down the street. Anna hadn’t been at the house. Or hadn’t made herself known. After church, when he stopped her, he recognized the hurt in her eyes, as if he’d disappointed her. But he couldn’t think about Anna now. Not when he intended to ask for Kathleen’s hand. “I thought you might like to go out to the falls. It’s always nice there. You’re warm enough, aren’t you?”
She gave him a sweet smile and clutched her coat lapels with both hands. “Yes, I’m fine, and I’d love to see the falls.”
“Good.” He lapsed into silence to match hers.
As the falls came into sight, he slowed and Kathleen did, too. He turned to face her, only then taking her hand in his. “Are you all right?”
She nodded, watching him with wary eyes. Wary? Why? Surely, she wasn’t afraid of him. He attempted a smile. “I have a farm not far from town. My friend, Willum Tate, has been working on a small house out there. It isn’t finished. He can only work between jobs that pay better, but progress is being made. Do you like the country?”
Her gaze skittered away for a moment before returning with her nod. “Yes, but not as well as Anna does. She’d live in the woods if she could.”
“Yes, that’s probably true.” Why did she say that? Didn’t he have enough trouble keeping Anna from his mind? He shook his head. “But I’m talking about you. You and me. I want to know if you’d consider marrying me.”
Kathleen sucked in her breath as if he’d surprised her. Surely, she’d had some suspicion of his intentions. Of course, he was rushing things.
“I know we haven’t had a lot of time together. We’ve known each other only a few months, but I’m serious about this. If you need to see the house first, I understand. I just thought maybe we could be engaged right now. There’s no rush to marry.” He gave a quick laugh. “I mean the house isn’t even built yet. It will be soon, though. Definitely by spring.”
When she only stared at him, he tried again. “Kathleen, will you marry me?”
She nodded, her eyes wide and solemn. The word whispered through her lips. “Yes.”
That one word slammed into his midsection then wrapped around his heart as if he’d been chained. His voice sounded rough when he spoke. “That’s good.”
Her eyes puddled with unshed tears until one and then another rolled from her lower lashes to slide down her cheeks. She covered her face with her gloves. “I’m sorry, Jeremiah. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. I just can’t.”
Sobs shook her shoulders. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry against his chest. He’d never asked a girl to marry him before, but surely this wasn’t a normal reaction. He hated when women cried. He patted her back then pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and tucked it into her hands. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
“I can’t marry you. I love s–s–someone else. I love G–Garrick. He s–scarcely looks at me. If I try to talk to him, he stammers and leaves.”
Garrick? Did Garrick feel the same for Kathleen? Images filtered through Jeremiah’s head as he remembered Garrick standing nearby more than once when he’d been with Kathleen. Garrick scowling at him, and he hadn’t known why. But what about Anna? Didn’t Garrick want Anna? Why else would he have been holding her that way in front of the feed store? Poor Kathleen. He knew what it was like to love someone you couldn’t have.
Anna sat on the Leonard’s front porch in the cold December air, her back propped against a corner post, her coat wrapped around her bent legs. If they were lucky, it would snow.
Garrick leaned against the opposite post. “Life isn’t always fair, Anna. The both of us might as well face it.”
She blinked the burning from her eyes. Abigail had been her excuse for this visit, but she’d been glad when Garrick told her the girls weren’t home. He was the one she wanted to see. He understood. She knew why when he admitted he loved Kathleen.
Anna shrugged. “I guess, but if that’s true, how does anyone ever find happiness?”
“Not by the abundance of the things you possess, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” Garrick met Anna’s gaze. “I guess that means you don’t need everything or everyone you want. All you need is God.”
Anna giggled. “You’re wonderful, Garrick. I’d love for you to be my brother-in-law, but you need to study your Bible a little more. You got the verses mixed up.”
“I did?” Garrick frowned. “So my meaning isn’t right either?”
“No. I mean yes.” Anna giggled again. “The meaning is right, especially if you consider both verses. The first was from the Gospel of Luke. It really says, ‘A man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.’ The other is in the New Testament, too. I don’t remember where, but it’s where Jesus was being tempted by the devil. ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.’ You memorized verses when you were little. I know you did.”
“Sure, how else would I have known those two?” Garrick lifted his chin as if offended.
“And thought they were one.” Anna grinned at him then dropped her chin to her knees. “But you’re right. It doesn’t matter how much we love someone. The important thing is our love for God. I guess what we need to do is forget them.”
“How?” Garrick looked as glum as she felt. “I’ve loved Kathleen since I was a kid. She’s beautiful and kind. Sweet, gentle, and smart. She never looked my way, and I was afraid to tell her how I felt. Good thing I didn’t. She’d have broken my heart. ‘Course, she did anyway. At least, I’ve had most of my life to prepare for this.”
Anna searched his face and saw sincerity. “I never knew you loved my sister.”
“No one knew but me.”
A long sigh escaped Anna’s lips. “I’m in love with Jeremiah, and I haven’t had any time to prepare. I wish I could go to school now. What are we supposed to do while they keep company right in front of us?”
Garrick’s mouth curved. “I guess we could get married. We’re good friends, we get along, and who else are we going to marry? How about it, Anna? Think that’s a good idea?”
Anna’s heart skipped a beat. She looked into Garrick’s eyes and the little patient smile that begged for acceptance. What would it be like being married to Garrick? Plea
sant for sure. He was right. They liked each other, even loved each other. As friends. But maybe they could learn to love as husband and wife. Not everyone married for love. Why not?
A smile tugged the corners of Anna’s mouth upward. “You have a point. If you think you can put up with me—”
At the sound of a familiar voice, Anna stiffened and turned to look out toward the street beside Garrick’s house. Jeremiah and Kathleen. They walked past as if lost in their own world. She couldn’t hear more than an occasional rumble from Jeremiah then Kathleen’s soft tone answering. Neither looked toward the house. Kathleen clung to Jeremiah’s arm as if she belonged there.
The sharp pain shooting through Anna’s heart brought tears to her eyes. She brushed them away to see the stricken look on Garrick’s face. “Garrick.” She called his attention back to her. “If your offer still stands, and I can get out of going to school, I think I’d like to accept.”
Chapter 10
Jeremiah woke far too early and stared into the darkness above his cot, wrestling with the same tormenting thoughts that had kept him awake the night before. Snores from the men sleeping around him vibrated the bunkhouse, but they hadn’t awakened him. Visions of Kathleen’s tears and Anna’s pain-filled eyes danced through his head. What sort of mess had he gotten them all into? He should have stayed in Seattle. Maybe after Christmas he’d pack up and go back.
He huffed a laugh. Go back to what? There was nothing in Seattle for him anymore. That’s why he’d jumped at the chance to go south when Willum suggested it. In one night and a raging fire, his entire family had been taken from him. The house was gone and most of their belongings. Only the stock, barn, and farm equipment had survived. And the land he’d sold for a new start.
Anna.
His heart yearned for the young woman with the heart-shaped face, the pert nose, and ready grin. How had he fallen in love with her? A girl in love with another man. The memory of her sitting on the Leonard’s front porch with Garrick taunted him. He’d tried to ignore them, but he’d seen just the same, and his heart had twisted at the sight.
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