by Mertz, L.
“Aren’t you going to pick that up?” Lauren says to him, full of attitude.
“What?” he replies.
“Your butt—”
“Oh, sweetheart, if I’m picking up anything it’s going to be your butt,” he says smiling at Lauren.
“Oh, you’re such an ass.” Lauren walks over to pick up the cigarette butt, but Kevin stops her and picks it up and puts it in his pocket to throw away later.
I just sit back and watch the exchange and smile at the two of them. If this is how they first meet then dinner is going to be fun. We head into the condo building and get into the elevator to ride up to Johnathan’s floor. We don’t talk on the way up to the condo. But, I don’t miss Kevin trying to look at Lauren.
Once we arrive to his floor, we all step out and Kevin is first to the door and lets us pass through. I give him a quiet thanks and walk into the condo. I see Johnathan and his daughter sitting on the couch watching TV. Some cartoon about a princess with a bunny that talks or something. I now see the resemblance at full force looking at them. You know that that is his daughter. I start to turn around and walk out, but Lauren is there to stop me.
“Kelsey, let him explain why he kept it from you then make your decision. I’m here with you, okay?” she tells me.
I nod at her and turn back around. When I do, Johnathan is looking at me with a half-smile on his face. He nods his head for me to come join him on the couch. I walk over and Annabelle looks up at me and then back to her dad.
“Daddy, why is the lady from the hospital here?” She spits a little when saying “hospital”.
“Annabelle, I want you to meet my friend, Kelsey. Kelsey, this is my daughter Annabelle.”
I smile and shake her little hand. It’s sticky and then I see the candy wrapper on the table and now I know why. I sit down next to her. “So, Annabelle… that’s a pretty name.”
“I know. It’s mine and I’m pretty so I gots to have a pretty name too,” she says with determination.
I giggle a little bit and so does Johnathan. We sit while his mom and Kevin are make dinner and talk about the TV show Annabelle is watching. Evidently cartoons have changed since I was her age. All the princesses’ animals can talk to her and she is a step-child to the king. Now that’s progress with having blended families in cartoons.
“Come on, guys, dinner is ready.” I hear his Mom say to us from the kitchen.
Annabelle jumps up and runs to the kitchen. “I help!”
I just smile at Johnathan and it feels a little bit forced. “Do you need help getting up?”
“Just a little bit I have to admit. It’s kind of emasculating really.”
I go over and he says that he just needs to lean on my arm to get up so I stand there and let him lean on me. After he is up we both walk over to the dining room table. Annabelle is already in a chair on sitting on her knees ready to eat. The table looks great; baked chicken, green beans, potato salad and rolls. His mom went all out for him I guess. Johnathan sits at the head of the table with Annabelle to his left and Kevin is next to her, and I am to the right of Johnathan across from Annabelle, while Lauren is across from Kevin and Charlotte is at the other end of the table.
Johnathan makes a plate for Annabelle first and then the dishes start getting passed around the table. I grab a little bit of everything. As we sit around the table, we just talk about little things and everyone is trying to get to know one another. Charlotte asks me about school and working with my grandfather. Kevin tells us about the steps he has been going through to get his farm organic. It’s a long but interesting process.
“May I be excused?” Annabelle says when her plate is clean.
“Sure, baby, let me get you down and washed up, okay?” Johnathan says while getting up from the chair which seems to be a lot easier than the couch. Annabelle hops off the chair and waits for him to grab her hand walk back to his bedroom.
“Kelsey, I want you to know that he didn’t want to keep her a secret from you, but he just needed time to know that he could trust you and I know that he cares for you deeply. So please just listen to him before you make any decisions.” Charlotte says to me.
“Okay, I will keep an open mind. Thank you for telling me,” I tell his mom.
Those of us left at the table start cleaning up from dinner. I help his mom rinse the dishes and place them into the dishwasher to be run later. Lauren puts on a pot of coffee and Kevin is outside on the balcony smoking and talking on the phone again. Soon, a very clean Annabelle comes running into the living room in her nightgown.
“Gwaaammmmaaaaaaa!” she yells. “Where’s my new doll? I can’t find her.”
“She’s in your bag, sweetie. Are you going to bed now?”
“Yes, Daddy said so. Cuz I’m all cwean and I can’t get dirty anymore.” She pokes out her bottom lip.
“Okay, let’s go and get your doll and go to bed, but go and say good night to everyone first.”
“Goodnight, everyone!” she screams and starts to run down the hall.
“Hey! I don’t think so, Belly. You better come back here and give me my good night hug and kiss,” says Kevin coming back into the condo. Annabelle runs to him and he grabs her up in a big hug and blows raspberries into her neck and cheek. “I love you, Belly.”
“I love you too, to the moon and back, and forth,” she says while hold his face in her hands.
“Goodnight, big girl.”
“See, Daddy! I am a big girl. Uncle Kevin says so! I’m not a baby…”
“Annabelle, you’ll always be my baby. Always,” Johnathan says, coming to get her to take her to bed.
“I can do it, honey, you go and take care of what you need to do. Okay?” Charlotte says, grabbing Annabelle up into her arms.
“Okay, goodnight Annabelle, I’ll come see you before I go to bed, okay? I love you.”
“Love you to the moon and back and forth too, Daddy.” She makes a big ‘Mwah’ sound when she kisses his face.
“Well, sweetheart, I think it’s about time we let these two get their shit together and you take me out,” Kevin says to Lauren.
“I don’t know who you think you’re calling sweetheart hon. But it sure as hell isn’t me,” Lauren answers him and crosses her arms over her chest.
“Oh, baby, please don’t do that. It just pushes them up higher for me to see and I can’t stop myself by not looking at you.” Kevin walks closer to Lauren looking directly at her chest.
“Oh my God! You’re a pig.”
“Oink, oink, baby. Let’s go.” Kevin grabs Lauren by the arm and walks out the door. “Be good kids.” He yells back at us. I can hear them going back and forth with each other arguing walking down to the elevator. A match made in heaven.
“Soooo….how bout we go outside on the balcony and talk?” Johnathan says to me.
“Okay, I want to get a cup of coffee you want one too? I know it’s like eight-five degrees outside, but I still want some. I’m a caffeine addict.”
“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll take a cup. Meet you out there?”
“Sure.” I don’t know what he’s going to tell me and honestly I’m super nervous. I feel like the rest of my life is going to be determined by this conversation. I won’t be able to work with my grandfather anymore and the ball park won’t be my safe place either. Shaking my head, I make us both a cup of coffee and walk out onto the balcony.
It’s now or never. Breathe.
Johnathan
“Annabelle was a twin.” I just spit it out to her once she sat down. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had to get it out. I hear her take in a sharp breath. “I was with Annabelle’s mom from my senior year in high school to my junior year of college. She was my life besides baseball. Her name was Haley. She was my best friend besides Kevin. We did everything together and I mean everything. We were going to get married after we were both done with school and we wanted to wait and see if a team would pick me up or not. Well, one day she came to me and told me that she
was pregnant. I was scared and excited all at once. I wanted to be a great father and I promised myself that day that I would do anything for my child.”
I look over at Kelsey, I can see tears forming in her eyes, and it is killing me. I don’t want to be the reason for that. I have to keep going with this story and I can’t stop again. I take a quick drink and begin again.
“Our families were very supportive of the pregnancy, but I think that it was because they knew we were in it for the long haul and planning to get married anyway so it wasn’t a big deal. Haley had bad morning sickness, but it was morning, noon, and night. I would help her as best I could, but sometimes you can’t. Anyway, we went to her doctor’s office for her twenty week appointment. I hadn’t been able to go to any previous appointments because of my baseball schedule and classes. We were going to try to find out the sex of the babies. Well, we did, it was two girls. I was so happy to be having girls. I started to think of names immediately. We finally decided on Anna for one and Belle for the second. Belle is my Mom’s middle name and Anna is Haley’s Mom’s middle name. So we were at the halfway mark. Things were progressing, as they should have been. No complications. The doctor had told us that she would try and keep the girls in as long as possible but that Haley would not go a full forty weeks. We were at our apartment studying and she was complaining of back pain. I told her to go and lie down and see if it would go away. Haley was having a lot of pain in her lower back so we went to the hospital.”
I stop and get my breath together. This is the hardest thing I think that I have ever done. I’ve never had to talk about it before, because everyone else knew.
“Haley was in labor so they admitted her to the hospital that day and we were placed into a delivery room. She was hooked up to all of these monitors and had an IV in her hand. The doctor came in to check on her and said that she was dilated, but not enough so they would give her medicine to progress things. Haley didn’t want to have a C-section. So she was going to try and have the girls without being cut open, as she put it. A few hours later, I was sleeping on the couch in the room all of these bells start going off and Haley is passed out in the bed. I jump up but the nurses are in the room faster than I can comprehend. They tell me to go outside and the doctor runs in. I didn’t want to go out, but they made me.”
I feel the tears coming down my face. I lost two people that day. The two people that I would have given my life for in exchange for theirs. I feel Kelsey wrap her hand around mine and I know that I have to finish this.
Taking a deep breath I continue. “So I’m outside of the door of her room and a nurse finally comes out and has me put some scrubs on. I walk back into the room and the doctor is pulling one of the babies out, which is Anna, and the nurse grabs her immediately and has Anna in an incubator rubbing her and sucking stuff from her mouth and nose. I turn and look at Haley and she doesn’t look good. She is very pale and sweaty. The doctor comes to me and tells me that my other daughter didn’t make it due to the umbilical cord being wrapped round her neck. They have Haley sedated because they are trying to stop the internal bleeding.”
I go back to that day, and remember walking over to the incubator and looking at my beautiful baby girl and seeing that she is ok and that’s when I decide to name her Annabelle instead of just Anna. I felt that Belle gave her life so that I could have Anna and that’s what mattered to me. The doctor had gotten the bleeding under control and later that evening Haley woke up and I had to tell her what happened to our baby girl. She cried and cried until I brought her Annabelle and then she cried for a different reason. She was so happy to just have one of our girls. After visiting with Haley, the nurse came and took Annabelle back to the nursery so they both could rest. I laid in bed with Haley that night. And in the morning she was gone too. A blood clot ended up going into her heart and she died in my arms.
I can feel the tears coming now and I can feel my body heaving as I cry and cry over the two lives that were lost that day. I will never forget the tragedy and the joy of those two days. It feels like hours before I stop and look to see that Kelsey has dropped herself into my lap and is hold me to her. I can’t believe that she is still here. I just grip onto her tighter.
Kelsey
Oh crap, I’m such a shitty person. Here I was thinking of myself and I didn’t even think that he was going to tell me this. I was not prepared at all for this story. I feel so bad for him and I don’t have anything to compare it to. I haven’t lost anyone from my life. My dad doesn’t count because I’ve never met the man.
“Hey, let’s go inside, okay? It’s late.” I get off of his lap and grab his hand. I lead him into the condo and down to his room. He pulls my hand to stop at the guest room door. He opens the door and goes inside. Annabelle is asleep on the bed. Johnathan goes to her and kisses her head and I hear him whisper that he loves her. Then he is back to me. He grabs my hand now and leads me to his room.
“I want you to stay with me, please.”
I grab is face and bring it closer to mine. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” I kiss him and then he leans his head on mine. I move my mouth up higher and kiss his forehead and back away to use the bathroom.
“Can I have a t-shirt? I really don’t want to sleep in my clothes.” He hands me a shirt out of his dresser and I go into the bathroom and change. I don’t know what happened to me while I was out there listening to his story, but I feel like I might be able to be with him more openly. He didn’t have to share this secret with me but he did and I think that I maybe falling in love with him. I walk back into his bedroom and I see him sitting on the side of the bed. He looks exhausted.
“Come on, let’s lie down and go to sleep. Do you need to take your pain meds or anything?”
“No, I did that while you were in the bathroom. Let’s go to sleep. I’m too tired to think anymore.”
I walk over to where he is on the bed. I step in-between his legs and grab his face, turning it up to me and I kiss his lips softly. He places his hands at the bottom of the shirt he gave me and I can feel his warmth passing through the back of my legs. I just stand there for what seems like forever; holding his face in my hands and him holding me. I feel the tears come down my face before I can think to stop them.
“Oh, Kelsey, please stop crying,” he tells me.
“I’m sorry.” Sniffling, I continue. “I just think everything is hitting me all at once, you getting hurt last night, what I was thinking earlier today about us, your story that you told me tonight. Today was a very emotionally intense day. I’ve never had to deal with this before. I’m low key, no drama, nothing. It was a lot. I’m okay now.” I release my grip and walk to the other side of the bed and get in under the covers. As with every other time we’ve slept together Johnathan pulls me over to him and throws his arm across my body. I fall asleep.
Johnathan
We are woken up by a little body trying to fit between us. I know that it’s Annabelle. She always comes to snuggle with me before we get up for breakfast. I go to shift to make room and a sharp pain cuts across my stomach.
“Baby, hold on let me move a bit.” Annabelle sits on her knees and waits for me to move. I don’t want to let go of Kelsey but I do. She tries to shift back to me, but Annabelle is in her spot before she can.
“Daddy, did you have a sleep over?”
“Yeah, I did, is that okay?” I didn’t even think what Annabelle would think of Kelsey staying over.
“It’s okay, Daddy. Is Kwelsey staying with us?” She is looking at me like I have all the answers in the world.
“I don’t know, baby. I hope she does. Are you hungry? I think that Mom has your favorite cereal here.”
“I want the cereal with the berries in it. Does Kwelsey like the berry cereal too?”
“I don’t know.” Before I can tell her to let Kelsey sleep longer, she is climbing over her and is hitting her on the arm to wake up. I can’t help the smile that is on my face watching this happen.
“Kw
elsey! Wake up! It’s time for berry cereal.” She looks up at me when Kelsey doesn’t wake up. “Why is she not waking up Daddy?” She now has her bottom lip poking out
“Annabelle, how about you go and help Mom get breakfast started and I will try and wake Kelsey up, okay?”
Jumping up off the bed, Annabelle runs out to the kitchen and I can hear her talking to Mom. I lean over to whisper in Kelsey’s ear. I know that she’s awake. “Kelsey, it’s time to wake up now,” I say into her ear. She begins to roll over and stretches her arms over her head. The shirt tightens across her chest and I can see her full breasts underneath and I feel all the blood rush down to my groin. Once she is done stretching. I lean over and give her a close mouthed kiss since we haven’t brushed our teeth yet. I pull back and just look at her in my bed with her hair everywhere and I can’t believe that she stayed with me and is still here. I want to keep her forever. I slowly roll back over and get up off the bed. The wound hurts, but I feel okay. I know that the doctor told me to relax for a few weeks, but with everyone here I want to take them around to all the sights.
“Hey, do you think we can take everyone around the city today?”
“Um, sure but aren’t you supposed to be resting? I don’t want you to bust your stitches open or anything.”
“I’ll be okay, if I need to rest then I will, but I want to take Mom and Annabelle, even Kevin, around the city since they are here. No time like the present, right?”
“Yeah, sounds like a plan. Let me get dressed and then I’ll head over to my place and change and then I’ll be back and we can all go.” She gets up and walks over to the bathroom, but I reach out and grab her. I flinch due to the pain, but recover quickly because I don’t want her to see me in pain and cancel our day. I lean down and kiss her for real this time. Just as it’s getting good my door flings open and Annabelle is standing in the door looking at us.