For the Love of a Goblin Warrior (Shadowlands)

by Shona Husk

  He looked up at the sound of soft footsteps. Halfway down the stairs was a woman in a pale green dress that swept the floor with every step. His heart stopped.

  Nadine.

  “You came.” She ran toward him and threw her arms around his neck.

  The weapons he’d been carrying clattered to the floor as he returned her embrace.

  “The gold. The goblins.” The castle began to shake with the footsteps of a goblin army.

  She silenced him with a kiss, her lips pressing hard against his. Before he could enjoy the taste of her mouth, glass shattered.

  Meryn’s eyes opened with a snap. He lay still, his heart pounding hard and lust coursing through his blood. Something had woken him—something more than a dream kiss. Soft rain pattered on the leaves, but that wasn’t it; something else filled the night. His heart refused to settle even though wariness replaced desire. Slowly, he slid his hand to his knife.

  Around him the forest was quiet. As quiet as nature could be. Across the other side of the barely glowing coals, a pair of yellow eyes appeared. Meryn watched. A shuffle and a grunt and the eyes drew closer. The outline became clearer. Meryn blinked, not believing what he saw. It couldn’t be a goblin. Not here. Not now. It was the wrong time of year.

  The goblin grinned. Its mouth twisted as if it could hear Meryn’s thoughts and taste his fear. His stomach tightened. His dream had crossed the boundary and reformed in the Fixed Realm, again. The goblin drew his knife and crept closer. The scar down the side of his face was pale and white.

  Meryn adjusted his grip, ready to fight back. He’d killed this goblin in the Shadowlands, and again in his dream. He could destroy him again—but in his dream there’d been more than one; there’d been an army. What of the others that would follow? Around him the bushes rustled as if a hundreds of goblins were materializing. For the first time since being in the Fixed Realm, he longed for the safety of four walls, but he knew they wouldn’t stop the goblins—not when it was him dreaming them into existence.

  If he dreamed them here, he could will them away.

  With his gaze on the goblin and his ears listening for others, he eased up slowly. How could he banish a nightmare?

  The goblin stepped over the coals.

  Meryn forced himself to remain still, ready and waiting.

  A point in his pocket dug into him. Nadine’s cross. Gold. Was the goblin coming for the gold? There was no way he was letting this creature take it; it was Nadine’s. The goblin faltered. Meryn let his thoughts fill with Nadine again. If his fears fed the nightmares, maybe his hope could banish them.

  At first nothing happened. The goblin remained still, watching him.

  He was used to putting his faith in weapons and plans, not wishes. But he knew the power of nightmares and also of dreams. Nadine was in the dreams he wanted for his future. Her kiss lingered in his mind even if he couldn’t taste her on his tongue.

  He wanted to find love again and be seen as a man, not a goblin.

  He wanted to be free of the Shadowlands once and for all.

  A breeze swept through the clearing with a hiss, making the trees shudder. The goblin screamed as if in agony, then raised his knife, intending to stab Meryn in his bed. Meryn twisted and deflected the blow. He kicked the goblin in the chest; it felt real enough beneath his boots. The other nightmares had crumbled when he touched them. This one was different. The goblin fell back into the coals. He howled in pain, his fingers curling as he scrambled to get up.

  Meryn placed his knife to the goblin’s throat. “I defeated you once, and I will defeat you every time. I do not fear you. Be gone and trouble me no more.”

  He drew the blade across the gray skin. Black blood stained the knife. He expected the body to turn to dust the way the others had, ready to reform another night. It didn’t. Meryn stood up and looked at the body of the goblin. He wiped the blade clean on his trousers.

  How was he ever going to explain his nightmares coming to life to anyone?

  What would Nadine say?

  The body remained there instead of disintegrating. Very odd. He frowned. If he was free of the Shadowlands, maybe the dust had lost its power and the goblin was trapped here. He’d killed his nightmare. He gave the body a nudge with his boot. It didn’t move. He couldn’t leave it. He used a branch and shifted the body off the coals enough that he could get the fire going properly. Everything was damp, so it took a while to find dry twigs and bark to feed the coals, but once they took hold, they couldn’t be stopped. In seconds, the goblin’s body was consumed, leaving only harmless ash.

  He didn’t want to risk another nightmare, so he sat up the rest of the night, thinking of Nadine and the kiss.

  Chapter 9

  Meryn was tired and his bones ached. It had continued to rain—not heavy enough to seep into his shelter, but enough to make everything damp. After the goblin had attacked he’d been unable to go back to sleep, partly because he was waiting for another nightmare to spring to life and partly because his body knew there was a bed waiting for him. While he sat there awake and listening to the soft patter of rain, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what Dai had said. Did Dai really think he was looking for a reason to quit? After surviving as a goblin and then as a human in the Shadowlands, any life he had in the Fixed Realm was easier. But then Dai had never had to adjust to being human again and all that entailed.

  He touched the key in his pocket and looked up at the white building. Like most of the buildings, it was lots of houses stacked on top of each other. How many other people lived in there? Even as he looked at the building, he smiled. Dai had found a house that was near the park; he was making it as easy as possible for Meryn to walk in to his new life while still being somewhere familiar. The park was on his doorstep.

  The bench where he waited for Nadine wasn’t far away. He glanced up at the sky; it was mostly blue, but even the patches of gray clouds had more depth than the Shadowlands ever had. She’d be here soon, and after yesterday he didn’t want to be late or, worse, miss her. Today, he could pay for breakfast. And when the money in the wallet ran out, how was he going to get more? Dai had said that he had more. Was it in the house? Meryn frowned and pushed aside the thought.

  He walked down the road to the bench and saw Nadine already there. She stood when she saw him, a smile on her lips. His mouth remembered the kiss, but last night had been a reflection of his desire, that was all, no matter how real it had felt at the time. He’d rather dream of Nadine than goblins any night. He’d rather be kissing her in daylight than just in his dreams. She was unlike any woman he’d ever known, but like many he had known, she had spirit—a gleam in her eye that suggested she’d have made a fine Decangli woman.

  A pretty smile on a bold woman and he’d do whatever was asked of him. He wasn’t that different than the man who’d fallen for Idella so many years ago.

  She watched him walk over. “Do you live nearby?”

  “In the white building.” He was grateful to be able to answer without lying or admitting he was living in the park.

  Nadine raided her eyebrows. “Lucky you. River views or park views?”

  “Ground floor. My cousin arranged it for me.” And it felt good not to lie, even if he was leaving out bits and pieces.

  “Still, some cousin. He must think highly of you.”

  Dai had once. It was hard to say if he did now. Maybe Dai was acting to clear a long held debt, or maybe he was acting out of respect and love, or maybe on Roan’s orders. At the moment Meryn didn’t care.

  “I think he knew that I’d like to be close to the park.”

  “You like being surrounded by nature.”

  “It’s peaceful.”

  “Yes, it’s why I run here. Running along the paths in the morning, it’s so quiet.”

  Meryn smiled. “Did you want to get coffee? I have my wallet with me today.” And he wanted to repay her kindness and test out his knowledge of modern money.

  She bit her lip and h
is heart sank. She was going to say no. He’d misread her friendship as attraction.

  “I want to, but I have to go and collect bridesmaids’ dresses. My friend Gina is getting married in a couple of days.” She looked at him again, her gaze skimming over his face and body.

  What was she looking for?

  Then she shook her head even though she was grinning. “I don’t even know your full name.”

  That he could answer, thanks to Dai and his creative lies. “Meryn Night.”

  “Nadine Gilbert.” She put out her hand and he clasped it without a second thought. “Pleased to meet you.”

  “But we have already met.” The heat from her skin warmed his hand

  “Ah, but now I know who you are.”

  “No. Now you know my name.”

  She laughed. He’d forgotten how beautiful the sound was. Her eyes lit with happiness like what he said was funny. Had he misspoke? Translating between Decangli and English wasn’t easy.

  “You’re right, I don’t know everything about you. But I’d like to.” She looked him in the eye as if daring him to refuse.

  He wouldn’t say no to anything she asked. He’d raced to her aid in his dream, even though a goblin army was on his heels. He’d never let goblins take her. “I’d like to know more about you.”

  She gave the slightest flinch as if that idea was painful. He doubted her past was as bad as his…then he wondered how he was going to talk about the life he’d had without mentioning Romans and the Decangli. He was going to have to think about it. But he wasn’t going to let it stop him from making sure he’d see her again.

  “Breakfast tomorrow morning?” She’d invited him last time, so it seemed only fair he put out the invitation this time.

  She nodded. “That would be nice. Until tomorrow?”

  Then he realized he was still holding her hand. He shifted his grip and brought her fingers to his lips for lightest of kisses. “Until tomorrow,” he echoed.

  Her lips parted and the look in her eyes changed to something more dangerous. She stepped closer and raised her free hand to cup his jaw. Her thumb brushed his cheek. His hand had found its way to her hip, as if he could keep her close. She didn’t resist; she leaned in. Her breath on his skin heated his blood and hardened his flesh. Lust had never felt so good. Goblins didn’t know what they were missing by craving only gold. He’d trade it all for one night with Nadine, to be the man she wanted in her bed.

  Of course, if she knew the truth, it would be over. He turned his head at the last moment, so her lips touched his cheek. He couldn’t kiss and lie in the same breath. It had been easier in his dream.

  She drew back, her smile gone. “Too soon?” Her fingers began to loosen so she could pull away, but his hand wouldn’t release her.

  “No.” He shook his head. He wanted her kiss. “Unexpected.”

  He touched her face, caressed her cheek, and traced her lower lip with his thumb. He wanted to kiss her, to see if she tasted as sweet as she looked. To enjoy it without goblins interrupting. He sighed. “Nadine…”

  There was a tightness in his voice that he didn’t expect. He didn’t know how to tell her that she’d be the first after his wife, or that it had been years and years and years, not the one year that Dai had made up. He didn’t know how to tell her that it was her who made it easy for him to become a modern man. That it was her kind touch that made him realize he was still a person capable of love. She made him want to be better, more than his past, more than the curse. If not for her, he might have been content sitting in the bushes whittling useless arrows.

  He wanted to tell her that after all this time he wasn’t entirely sure how to move forward without screwing this up.

  She gazed at him without moving. “Just kiss me.” Her words were little more than a whisper.

  That was an order he couldn’t disobey. He leaned in and placed his lips to hers. Her mouth was soft as he’d expected, as it had been last night, her lips opening as she tilted her head. His tongue darted along her lower lip, tasting her mouth the way he’d wanted to before the goblins had attacked, and she returned the gentle touch, seeking more. While his heart pounded hard, as if he was running into battle ready to claim her, he drew back. Standing here when she was about to leave to get dresses wasn’t the time or place to go further.

  He swallowed the raging desire she’d woken.

  Nadine blinked and sighed. Her tongue traced her lip as if she couldn’t get enough. “You know how to leave a woman wanting more.”

  “I want to make sure I see you tomorrow.” He’d also like to see her in a dress—even though he liked the tight fitting pants she wore to run in. They showed off every curve of her legs.

  “You will…and by then I’ll know more about you. Everyone can be googled,” she said with a wink.

  He had no idea what she’d just said, only that she was somehow going to try and find out more about him. He hoped Dai’s lie held up to her scrutiny. “I hope you like what you find.”

  “I hope you like what you find.”

  “I don’t have google.” Was that even correct? He was heading into territory that could reveal just how little he knew about her world.

  “No Internet?”

  Whatever that was he didn’t have it. Meryn shook his head.

  “Ah, well then, you will have to wait until tomorrow to find out more about me.” Her lips curved in a grin that was clearly designed to tease and encourage and torment him until tomorrow.

  One day wouldn’t kill him. He released her hand slowly, letting his fingers glide over her skin. “I’ll look forward to it.”

  She stepped back, her gaze never leaving him and that smile on her lips that made him want to step forward and prevent the distance from widening.

  Nadine looked at Meryn for a moment longer. What was it about him that kept drawing her back when she should walk away? She didn’t need someone else’s problems—and he obviously had a few—or someone as damaged as she was. None of the reasons she came up with dampened her interest. It was definitely his eyes. They trapped her. One moment full of heat that threatened to burn her, the next empty, the next full of sorrow. She’d seen the same sorrow in her eyes when she was growing up until she’d learned to hide it. For a few minutes with this man, she hadn’t had to. Until now she hadn’t realized the weight of the mask she was hiding behind.

  Before she gave in to temptation and demanded another kiss, she turned around and walked away. She’d never been kissed like that before. Most men swooped in and took it as a victory and one step closer to scoring. Of course, most of the men she’d dated were younger and hadn’t been married and widowed.

  Huh, maybe that’s all it was. She was appreciating the maturity.

  She stopped herself from glancing back and took a calming breath, but it didn’t quell the excitement. This is what had been missing with Daniel and the others. She pulled her smart phone out when she turned the corner and typed in Meryn Night, and got a corrected search for Meryn Knight. She accepted the first link to a news story from last year.

  His home had been broken into while the family was there. His children and wife had been murdered in front of him. The killer had never been caught. Meryn had gone AWOL and was discharged from the army on medical grounds. There were no pictures and no information on what he’d done in the army. That usually meant one thing—Special Forces. They were meant to be the toughest. He must have done and seen all kinds of things, but he’d never expected to have to confront them in his home.

  No wonder he’d reacted badly to the anniversary of his wife’s death. Her feet stopped. He’d hesitated before kissing her. Her fingers touched her lips. Was she the first since Idella?

  The more she knew about him, the more questions it raised. And when she had all the answers, would she lose interest?

  Was she making her mother’s mistake and falling for the wrong man? She made herself walk on toward the train station. She wasn’t falling anywhere, tripping into his arms did
n’t count, and neither did having coffee…the kiss on the other hand…she wanted more of them. She wanted more of him. But that was lust, not love. When she fell in love, and most days she wasn’t sure it existed, it would be with someone safe and sensible.

  Just like Daniel.

  But safe and sensible wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted Meryn.

  Chapter 10

  The rain started again. Not heavy, but enough to soak him through if he remained outdoors. Meryn ran his fingers through his hair and walked back toward the house. The taste of Nadine’s lips lingered on his mouth, tempting him with something he’d thought was gone for good. Once, he’d have never thought he’d be able to live without Idella; it was why he’d given in to the curse, to block out the pain. But he was alive, and the heartache no longer tore at him. She was in his heart, not forgotten—never that—but he needed more than memories. He wanted to have a proper life, a full life.

  He touched Nadine’s cross in his pocket. Again he hadn’t found the words to tell her he had it. Would he ever? Had it passed that point, or would she value honesty and understand what he’d been when she’d first seen him?

  He had nothing to offer her. No standing, no house, and no job. No woman would see him as a husband worth having.

  For the second time in his life, he cared what someone else thought of him.

  He wanted to be able to provide for any family that might come along. Thoughts of his daughters filled his mind—their laughter and their peaceful sighs as they slept. He wasn’t sure he could take the pain of losing children again.

  One step at a time.

  He had to have a house first.

  In daylight, it was much easier to open the gate at the entrance to the tall, white building, now he could see clearly how it worked. The small courtyard was paved and held a few potted plants. On the other side was the smooth glass door that had no lock. How was he supposed to get in? He stared at it, but it wasn’t just the lack of a lock that stopped him from going in. Using the key and accepting the house felt like failure. The gold Roan and Dai had hoarded had bought this. Their gold, not his. He’d done no work to achieve this.