His mouth twisted derisively. ‘You didn’t think it was all your idea, did you, Natalie?’
‘I—I—’
‘That desire for you made me underestimate your sister, and this last week I’ve been unable to think of anything but you.’
She knew what that admission cost him, and despite all the insults and accusations he had made in the last few minutes her expression softened with love for him. ‘Adam darling—’
He shook off her hand. ‘But I’m over that now. Tracy is the most important thing to me now—’
‘She’s important to me too! Oh, Adam, I didn’t know what to do when Judith told me what she’d done,’ she looked up at him pleadingly. ‘And then you arrived, and—’
‘You decided to bluff your way out of it,’ he finished grimly. ‘Tracy was waiting for me when I got back to the office, almost at collapsing point. But you can tell your sister she’s lost. Tracy still wants the bastard, and this time I’ll make sure he stays in line. He won’t even breathe without my permission in future!’
Natalie wetted her lips nervously knowing that Adam meant what he said. Judith would be out of Jason’s life from now on, as would any other woman except Tracy. ‘And us?’
‘Us?’ he echoed in a hiss. ‘There never was an “us”, Natalie. I thought for a while there was, but any fool can delude themself when they want something badly enough. And I wanted you. I wanted that body of yours so badly I was willing to do anything to get it.’
‘And now you’ve had it you don’t want it any more,’ she said bitterly.
‘Exactly,’ he bit out. ‘Now I don’t want it any more.’
‘Then I might as well leave,’ she said dully, feeling sick.
‘Yes.’
‘Give Tracy my love,’ she looked at him with pained eyes. ‘And tell her how sorry I am.’
‘Are you?’ he derided harshly.
‘How can you doubt it?’ she choked.
His mouth twisted. ‘I can doubt a lot of things where you’re concerned, mainly my sanity. But you had me blinded from the first.’
‘So it’s goodbye, then?’ Her eyes were huge in her pale face.
‘I don’t think we ever said hello!’
No, they had been at loggerheads from the first word, and now like the adversaries they had been at the beginning they were parting with harsh words.
Adam moved quickly, pulling her roughly against him, brutalising her mouth in a kiss that told her more of his contempt for her than any words could ever do. His eyes glittered down at her as he pushed her away from him. ‘Goodbye, Natalie. I hope I never see your beautiful face again!’
She flinched as if he had hit her again, stumbling to the door, not looking at him again, blinded by her tears. ‘Give Tracy my message,’ she choked breathlessly.
There was no answer from him, and the silence followed Natalie as she left the house.
She lived through that silence all afternoon and evening, her head seeming to be filled with a numbed void that allowed her to make all the right moves during an afternoon’s work, to cook herself dinner, to even switch on the television set she rarely watched at the best of times. And during all that time she didn’t allow herself to think of Adam once. She was afraid to, because once the ice cracked she wouldn’t be able to stop the river of tears pounding inside her head from flowing and never stopping.
She still hadn’t allowed herself to remember all the bitterness that had passed between Adam and herself as she breakfasted the next morning, having slept restlessly, too weary to fight the waves of sleep that claimed her.
When the doorbell rang she instantly stiffened. Could it be Adam? If it was she was in for more abuse from him. And she couldn’t take it, knew that her mask of composure would crack irrevocably if Adam began to berate her once again.
But if it was him he wasn’t going to be put off; he was leaning on the doorbell now, the constant ringing jarring on the nerves after only a few seconds. And Natalie’s nerves were too fragile at the moment to stand it more than a couple of minutes; she went to the door to wrench it open. The livid anger in the face of the man standing there filled her with apprehension.
‘Where is she?’ Jason demanded, pushing past her into the flat. ‘Is she here?’ he demanded as he walked through to the lounge, opening doors on his way as he searched the flat.
Natalie followed him, watching dazedly as he looked in every room. ‘Tracy…?’
‘No, not Tracy!’ he snarled. ‘Judith! Is she here?’
She shrugged. ‘You can see she isn’t.’
‘Yes,’ he sighed his impatience. ‘Do you know where she is?’
‘At home, I suppose.’
‘I’ve tried there,’ he bit out angrily. ‘That was the first place I looked. She isn’t there, hasn’t been there all night by the look of it.’
Natalie frowned. ‘How do you know that?’
‘I have a key,’ he derided.
‘Oh,’ she flushed. ‘Well, she isn’t here either.’
‘As you said, I can see that,’ Jason scorned. ‘But you’re her sister, you must know where she is.’
‘You’re her lover, do you know where she is?’ she scorned.
His fingers bit painfully into her arms as he glared down at her. ‘Don’t get clever with me, Natalie! I don’t have the time to waste. I’ve only managed to slip out of the house for a moment while. Tracy sleeps and Adam went home to change his clothes. If I’m not back by the time Adam returns…!’
‘He’ll kill you,’ she stated emotionlessly.
‘If I’m lucky!’ he grimaced. ‘So, tell me where Judith is?’
‘I have no idea,’ she said truthfully. ‘As far as I know she’s at home.’
‘I told you she isn’t!’
‘Then I don’t know where she is,’ Natalie snapped. ‘But I do know she’s unlikely to come here.’
‘Been playing the prudish older sister again, have you?’ he mocked.
‘Get your hands off me,’ she ordered coldly.
Jason released her so suddenly she almost fell, turning away to mutter. ‘I knew I shouldn’t have got involved with Judith, knew she would be trouble.’
‘Then why did you?’ Natalie snapped.
‘Because I can’t stay away from her!’ he turned on her furiously. ‘I’m obsessed with her!’
‘And your wife?’
‘I love her—’
‘You have a funny way of showing it,’ Natalie scorned, wondering how this man ever justified his actions to himself, let alone anyone else.
‘Mind your own damned business—’
‘It is my business,’ she flared. ‘You and Judith made it so!’
‘And Adam?’ he derided tauntingly. ‘Did he make it your business too?’
She flushed. ‘My relationship with Adam has nothing to do with you.’
‘I doubt it has much to do with you either now,’ Jason taunted. ‘Adam’s tongue can cut like a knife when he wants it to.’
‘You should know!’
‘Yes. And so do you now.’
Her mouth tightened. ‘Why do you want to see Judith?’
‘Why do you think?’
Natalie shook her head. ‘I have no idea.’
His face darkened. ‘The little fool nearly ruined everything for me,’ he rasped, ‘telling Tracy like that!’
‘You’re going to stay with Tracy, then?’
‘Unless Judith can keep me in the comfort to which I’ve become accustomed,’ he drawled. ‘And she can’t.’
Natalie’s heart went out to Tracy Dillman, but she could also spare a little pity for her sister. Jason Dillman was utterly selfish, had no intention of leaving his wife if it also meant he lost his lifestyle. She had no idea how one woman could love a man like that, let alone two of them.
Jason smiled, a smile without any real humour. ‘Don’t look so shocked, Natalie. You’re no better than me in your own sweet way. Poor Adam,’ he mocked. ‘What a blow to his ego to find you were just another
opportunist. How he must hate you for that!’
She had paled more and more with each successive word, wanting to knock the smile off this man’s face. But she wouldn’t soil her hands with him, turning her back on him. ‘Would you please leave?’ she said tightly.
‘Don’t worry, I’m going. I’ve been out long enough already. But if you should see Judith—’
‘I’ll tell her you’re looking for her,’ she nodded distantly.
‘You can tell her more than that,’ he rasped. ‘Tell her to stay away from me in future, that it’s over between us.’
Natalie gave him a look of disgust. ‘I have no intention of doing your dirty work for you.’
‘Okay, don’t bother,’ he snapped. ‘I’ll tell Judith myself!’ and he slammed out of the flat.
Where could her sister be? It wasn’t like her to just go off like this without a word to anyone. She had certainly made Jason angry with her disappearing act.
When her doorbell rang again an hour later she knew it had to be Judith—at least, she hoped it was. This situation was bad enough already without Judith leaving her in the lurch.
It was Judith, a still confident Judith as she strolled into the lounge. ‘You look terrible, Natalie,’ she drawled critically. ‘You aren’t letting this get to you, are you?’
‘This…?’ Natalie repeated, too dazed to take in what her sister was saying.
‘This business with Tracy—’
‘This “business” with Tracy happens to be your affair with her husband,’ Natalie snapped, incredulous at her sister’s calm. ‘Or have you forgotten that?’
‘Of course not, darling,’ Judith sprawled herself in a chair. ‘It’s been on my mind a lot.’
‘So it ought to be—’
‘That’s why I stayed with friends last night,’ she drawled, smoothing her hair delicately. ‘To give Jason time to calm down. He would have been very angry with me yesterday for ending this farce.’
‘I have news for you,’ Natalie said dryly. ‘He’s still very angry.’
‘How do you know?’ her sister demanded sharply. ‘Have you seen him?’
‘He’s been here,’ she confirmed, not surprised that her sister hadn’t broken her record and shown a little concern for Tracy Dillman. Jason and Judith were two of a kind.
‘When?’ Judith gasped.
‘Not long ago, actually.’
‘And you say he was still angry?’ she chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip.
‘That’s an understatement!’
‘Thank God I missed him,’ Judith sighed, plucking absently at her silky dress.
‘You haven’t won, you know, Judith,’ Natalie told her softly.
Hard blue eyes narrowed questioningly. ‘What do you mean?’
‘He’s going to stay with his wife.’
‘No!’ Judith denied heatedly, and stood up, her hands clenched at her sides.
‘Yes.’
Judith’s eyes glittered determinedly. ‘We’ll see about that!’
‘He told me himself,’ Natalie sighed.
Her sister nodded. ‘Maybe he did. Jason doesn’t know what’s good for him.’
‘And you do, I suppose?’ Natalie’s brows rose mockingly.
‘Oh yes,’ Judith gave a hard smile. ‘I know exactly what’s good for him—me,’ she said emphatically.
With Judith’s conceit she was probably right! But only Judith seemed to think so. Adam would certainly make sure his brother-in-law would never stray again.
‘Judith,’ she coaxed softly, ‘let him go. He isn’t free, he never will be. Adam is a powerful man—’
‘Ah yes, your lover,’ her sister scorned.
‘Not any more,’ Natalie muttered.
‘Finally couldn’t stomach your connection to me, hmm?’ Judith mused. ‘What a stupid man!’
‘Judith—’
‘My God!’ her sister’s eyes widened at the agony in Natalie’s pale face. ‘You love the man!’
She flushed at the derision. ‘And why shouldn’t I? If you can love someone as obnoxious as Jason Dillman surely I can love a man as honest as Adam.’
‘Why not?’ her sister shrugged uninterestedly. ‘And Adam Thornton’s power doesn’t frighten me. Jason will never stand for his interference in his life, he never has. And I’ll still be waiting when he walks out.’
‘I thought it was because you were tired of waiting that you engineered this situation?’ Natalie reminded bitterly.
Judith’s mouth twisted. ‘Don’t worry, it won’t be for much longer.’
She couldn’t doubt her sister’s confidence, or the conviction of her words. Judith did truly love Jason Dillman, even knowing all his faults. There was certainly no happy ending to this situation.
‘The parents know, by the way,’ Judith added carelessly. ‘I rang them and told them last night.’
‘God, no…!’ Natalie groaned.
‘Yes,’ her sister smiled.
She swallowed hard. ‘What—what did they say?’
‘They were wonderful, very understanding. Cheer up, Natalie, maybe when Adam calms down he’ll realise what a fool he’s been.’
Natalie slumped into a chair once Judith had gone, marvelling at the sheer nerve of her sister. Although she doubted Judith had told their parents the whole truth about—
‘Can I come in?’ requested a subdued voice. ‘The door was open and—’
‘Tracy!’ she looked up to exclaim, her breath catching in her throat at the change in the other woman since yesterday morning. Always fragilely beautiful, Tracy now looked like porcelain, her cheeks ashen, her eyes huge in her pale face. Natalie suddenly remembered. ‘God, Judith…!’
‘I heard the two of you talking and kept out of the way until she left,’ Tracy revealed huskily.
She swallowed huskily. ‘You—heard us?’
‘Yes,’ Tracy nodded. ‘I heard everything that was said about Jason.’
Natalie wetted her lips nervously, and stood up. ‘Judith doesn’t mean it. She won’t cause any more trouble. And Jason will never leave you,’ she assued her.
‘Won’t he?’
‘No,’ she said with certainty, sure that Adam would control that situation from now on.
‘I hope you’re wrong, Natalie,’ the other woman choked. ‘I sincerely hope you’re wrong.’
Natalie blinked. ‘I—You do?’
‘Yes,’ Tracy’s voice was harsh. ‘Because if I have to live with Jason another day I think I’ll truly go mad!’
CHAPTER TEN
NATALIE paled, frowning deeply. ‘Tracy…?’
‘Can I sit down?’ the other woman swayed where she stood.
‘Of course.’ She led her to a chair, noticing how badly Tracy was trembling as she sat down. ‘I’ll just close the door.’ She moved to do so, giving the other woman time to compose herself, although her own thoughts were spinning.
Tracy looked up as Natalie returned, a firm determination in the depths of her blue eyes, looking more ethereal than ever, her beauty achingly tragic. ‘I meant it, Natalie,’ she said firmly. ‘I can’t live with Jason any more.’
Natalie clasped her hands in front of her, not knowing what to say to help Tracy.
‘Adam thinks I should stay with him—’
‘Adam does?’ she frowned, sure that couldn’t be right. If Adam had his way Jason wouldn’t even be in the same country as Tracy.
‘Yes,’ the other girl said heavily. ‘I had to wait until he left the house before I could get away.’
Poor Adam, the whole of the Dillman family seemed to have done an exodus on him the moment he turned his back. ‘I’m sure you’re wrong about Adam,’ she said huskily. ‘He only wants you to be happy.’
‘With Jason? How could any woman be happy with him? He’s cruel and selfish, and I—I hate him!’ Tracy finished chokingly, her face buried in her hands. ‘I tried, Natalie, I tried so hard! But I can’t stand it any more. If Adam forces me to go back to him I think I’ll d
ie!’
‘He won’t do that,’ Natalie denied with certainty. ‘Not if you really don’t want to go back. He only wants for you what you want, Tracy.’
‘But yesterday—’ she shook her head. ‘He said he would make Jason stay with me.’
‘Only because he thinks that’s what you want!’
Tracy shuddered. ‘Not again. Not ever again.’
Natalie sat on the carpeted floor at the other woman’s feet. ‘Tell me about it, Tracy,’ she encouraged softly. ‘Talk to me.’ She felt sure there was something Tracy had never done since she had first married Jason Dillman seven years ago, and that was to tell someone about her marriage.
Tracy’s eyes became glassy, her thoughts inwards. ‘I was so happy at first, in love with love, I suppose. I so enjoyed being a wife. But Jason didn’t enjoy being a husband,’ her voice hardened to bitterness. ‘From the first he hated the restrictions of marriage. But I didn’t know that then, I was so caught up in my own little world of being a wife that I didn’t realise Jason didn’t feel the same way. We’d only been married six months when he had his first affair.’
‘First…?’ Natalie echoed hollowly, remembering that Adam had told her Tracy had never known about the other affairs.
‘Jason has always had other women,’ Tracy told her. ‘After the first one I took stock of my life, took half, if not more, of the blame for Jason’s wandering, realised that I had been so intent on being Mrs Jason Dillman that I’d forgotten Mr Jason Dillman. I did everything I could to make up for that, to show him how much I loved and needed him.’ She shuddered. ‘Three months later he had another woman. That affair lasted two months. The next one six months. The next one four. The next one—’.
‘No more, Tracy,’ Natalie clasped her hand comfortingly, able to feel the other girl’s pain now.
Tracy swallowed hard. ‘I know the duration of all of them, during the whole of the seven years. A wife has a way of knowing such things,’ she revealed dully. ‘This last time—I’d just never knowingly met one before—and I say knowingly, because any number of our so-called friends could have been his latest woman.’
‘My sister is a bitch!’
Tracy gave a bitter smile. ‘Don’t blame her, Jason can be very charming when he wants to be.’
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