Through the Door

by Jodi McIsaac

  Eden stared after her as she darted into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the door and pulled out the note again.

  Finn’s parents are here? In Halifax? They’re alive? Finn had told her that both his parents had died in a car accident when he was younger. According to him, he’d lived with relatives for a few years before striking out on his own at age seventeen. He had never seemed particularly bothered by his past, but neither had he offered up any more information, so Cedar hadn’t pushed it. But why would he have made up something like that? Maybe Jane was wrong. She supposed there was only one way to find out. She pictured the conversation. “Hello, I’m your son’s ex-girlfriend. He told me you were dead. Do you happen to know where he is?”

  She groaned and headed into the shower.

  The problem with open-concept office spaces was that personal phone calls were almost impossible to make. Cedar dumped her bag on her chair and headed for the stairwell. She leaned against the brick wall and stared at her phone. This is ridiculous, she thought. Just call them. She had called every Donnelly in the phone book after Finn’s disappearance, just on the off chance that one of them was a distant relative who might know where he was. No one had ever heard of him. What if Jane was wrong, and this wasn’t them, and she was back to square one? Or worse, what if Jane was right? What if she was only one step away from finding Finn? That thought was almost as daunting.

  Cedar had thought about calling in sick so she could stay home with Eden. But she knew she was on thin ice after bringing Eden into the office yesterday and acting like a complete space cadet. So she had taken every single door in their apartment off the hinges except for the front door, telling Maeve some story about having them repainted. She had also given Eden a firm talking-to, threatening her with everything from no TV for a month to spending her life as a lab rat if she opened any portals. She’d even stooped so low as to warn Eden that the shock of seeing a portal might give her grandmother a heart attack. Eden had agreed to wait until it was just the two of them to do more exploring, seeming to take delight in the fact that this was a special secret they shared. Cedar had squeezed her tight and told her she’d be back as soon as she could.

  But Cedar had to admit she was more than a little curious about this new mystery of Finn’s parents. Maybe they were horrible people; maybe they had been abusive. She supposed that that would have been reason enough for him to pretend they were dead.

  She gripped her phone tightly and entered the number Jane had given her. She tried to control her breathing while listening to it ring. Once…twice…

  “Hello?” A man’s voice answered.

  “Hello. Is this Rohan Donnelly?” Cedar asked.

  “Yes. Who’s calling?” The man’s voice was not harsh, but there was no warmth in it either.

  “Um, I’m an old friend of your son’s.”

  “Which son?”

  Finn has brothers?

  “Er, Finn,” she said. “I was just wondering if you might know how I can get in touch with him.”

  “Finn doesn’t live here anymore,” Rohan said, this time with a hint of gruffness.

  “Okay. Do you know where he’s living now? I just need a phone number, maybe an e-mail address?” Cedar said.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t help you,” Rohan said. “Good day.” And he hung up.

  Cedar stared down at the phone. What was that?

  Just then, the door to the stairwell opened and her boss stuck his head in. “There you are. We were going to meet first thing, remember?”

  Cedar whipped her head around, and she immediately felt a piercing pain shoot through her neck. “Ahh, yes,” she said, wincing.

  As they walked down the hall, Cedar tried to drag her mind away from the mystifying phone call and back to her job. But the brusqueness of Rohan’s reply to her simple question lingered in her mind. Why was he so loath to share any information about his son?

  She was still puzzling over it at lunchtime. She considered calling Rohan back, but it had been far too easy for him to hang up on her the first time. He couldn’t hang up on her if she was standing in his doorway.

  She grabbed her keys and purse and ran down the stairs. The address Jane had given her was only ten minutes away, and hopefully she could make it there and back before anyone noticed she was gone.

  A few minutes later, she was driving down Ashfield Drive, slowing to look at the house numbers. Finally, she spotted the right one and pulled over to park on the other side of the road. She sat and watched the house for a minute. It seemed friendly enough to her. It was an older building, as were all the homes in this part of town. But it was well kept, with butter yellow siding and red window boxes filled with a cheerful mix of pansies. A small walkway led up to the front door. Cedar stepped tentatively out of her car and started up the walk. When she was halfway there, the door opened and a woman walked out, slamming the door behind her. When she saw Cedar, she stopped cold and stared at her. Cedar blinked in confusion. The woman was tall, willowy, and breathtakingly beautiful. Her skin was so pale it seemed to emit a soft light. She had powerful features: a long, straight nose, full lips, and strikingly high cheekbones. Her eyes were large, and a brilliant shade of green. And right now they were trained on Cedar with such hatred that it made her take an involuntary step back.

  “What are you doing here?” the redhead asked, her voice filled with venom. Cedar tried to say that she didn’t know what the woman was talking about, that she must be mistaking her for someone else, but her head suddenly felt like it was filled with fog. Her thoughts were sluggish, and she couldn’t seem to articulate the words she wanted to say. The redhead turned to shoot another look at the yellow house, then seemed to make a decision. She snapped her head up and walked past Cedar without saying another word. Cedar turned and watched her walk away. Gradually, her head started to feel normal again, though she noticed her hands were shaking. What was that? she thought.

  She forced herself the final few steps up the walkway and knocked firmly on the door.

  A woman opened the door and looked at Cedar. Cedar thought the woman’s eyes grew slightly wider at the sight of her, but then the moment passed and she was only gazing expectantly. She appeared to be the same age as Cedar’s own mother. But whereas Maeve was short, plump, and graying, this woman was tall and slim, like a dancer. She had olive skin that looked so soft Cedar wanted to reach out and touch it. Her dark hair was swept up into a casual bun. She smiled at Cedar, who didn’t quite know how to start. “Can I help you?” the woman asked.

  Cedar cleared her throat. “Yes,” she said. “I called earlier this morning. I think I spoke with your husband, Rohan. I’m an old friend of Finn’s, and I’m trying to get in touch with him. My name is Cedar. Your husband told me Finn doesn’t live here, but, well, I was hoping maybe if I came here in person you might be willing to help me. I just want to get back in touch with Finn, that’s all. Do you know how I could get ahold of him?” Cedar took a breath and realized she had been rambling. The woman gave Cedar a hard look, but not an unkind one. “May I ask why you want to contact Finn?” she asked.

  “Oh…well…” Cedar said, and then fell silent for a moment, kicking herself for not thinking this through, for not making up some plausible story. She still felt rattled from her encounter with the strange woman on the walkway. “Er, Mrs. Donnelly?” she began again.

  The woman smiled, and then said, “I’m so sorry. I haven’t even introduced myself, and here I am keeping you out on the doorstep. Yes, I am Riona Donnelly. Riona will do just fine. Please, why don’t you come in for a minute?” She stepped back from the door and waved an elegant arm, indicating Cedar should follow her inside.

  Cedar walked into the house and stood in the small entryway, not sure what to do next. Riona closed the door and gave her an appraising glance.

  “In fact,” she said, “why don’t we have some tea?”

  “Oh, I don’t really…” Cedar was about to say that she didn�
�t have time, but it didn’t seem like Riona was going to just jot Finn’s phone number down on a Post-it note for her anytime soon. Maybe a cup of tea would be a good way to break the ice. “Sure,” Cedar corrected herself. “Tea would be lovely, thank you.”

  Riona led her into the living room and told her to make herself comfortable, then disappeared into the kitchen. Cedar looked around. It was quite possibly one of the most beautiful rooms she had ever been in. Compared to Cedar’s minimalist, black and white apartment, this room was a riot of color. Green potted plants sat on the sill of the large picture window and hung in woven baskets from hooks in the ceiling. The walls were adorned with richly colored paintings and intricate wooden carvings. A harp stood in the corner of the room, the sunlight glittering off its polished wood. Across from the chocolate brown sofa was a tightly woven wicker papasan with a large bright red cushion. Under Cedar’s feet was a thick rug in many colors. The effect of so much going on in this one room should have been cacophonous at best, but Cedar felt that it worked perfectly. It was a room filled with life. It made her heart ache a little.

  Riona came back from the kitchen carrying a tray laden with the tea things and a plate of small sandwiches and set it on the coffee table. “When I was in the kitchen I realized that it’s lunchtime, so I brought out a few sandwiches in case you’re hungry,” she said.

  “Oh. Thank you.”

  Riona sat on the other end of the sofa and poured the tea. As she handed a delicate china cup to Cedar, she said, “That’s better. Now, you were about to tell me why it is you’re looking for my son.”

  “I haven’t heard from him in a few years and wanted to get back in touch. See how he’s doing,” Cedar said with an attempt at a casual shrug.

  “Mmm,” said Riona. “Yes, Finn has been abroad for the past several years. I’m afraid my husband told you the truth if he said we don’t know exactly where he is.”

  Actually, he just said he couldn’t help and hung up on me, Cedar thought. “But surely you must have a way of getting in touch with him for emergencies or something,” she said.

  Riona stirred her tea. “Well, as I’m sure you know if you were friends with him, Finn is a bit of an independent spirit. We haven’t heard from him in quite some time, but the next time we do, I’ll be sure to tell him you stopped by. It’s Cedar, right?”

  Cedar stared into her cup. That was it? That was all she was going to get—a polite dismissal? She decided to try another tack. “Yes. You know, it’s odd. When Finn and I were friends, he seemed to indicate that his parents were…well, dead.” She immediately regretted saying this. What mother would want to know her child was going around saying she was dead? But Riona didn’t seem upset by this information. She just raised her eyebrows and smiled.

  “Did he?” she asked. “Yes, well, Finn has always been very private. And creative,” she added. She patted Cedar’s knee. “Don’t worry, dear, there’s nothing so very dreadful about us that compelled Finn to say we were dead. I’m sure he had his reasons at the time.”

  Cedar set down her cup and stood up, disappointment and frustration burning in the pit of her stomach. She started to turn to leave, but stopped herself. She had to take the risk. “This might seem intrusive,” she said, “but could you tell me if there’s any history of medical conditions in your family?”

  There was a long pause. Riona stood up as well and was looking at her with renewed interest. “Any medical conditions?” she asked slowly.

  Cedar nodded, watching the older woman closely.

  “No, there is nothing like that to worry about in our family,” Riona said.

  Cedar’s stomach sank. This wasn’t going to work. “Okay, well, thanks then. And thanks for the tea. It was nice meeting you,” she said. She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card, handing it to Riona. “If he ever gets in touch, this is where he can find me.”

  Riona took the card and read it. “McLeod,” she said. “Your last name is McLeod.”

  Cedar was alarmed. Riona’s olive skin had gone pale, and she was swaying on her feet. Cedar put a hand under the older woman’s elbow. “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Riona said, but her voice shook. “McLeod…and you were asking about…” She stared intently at Cedar. “Impossible,” she breathed.

  “What’s wrong?” Cedar asked.

  “Forgive my boldness, but did Finn father a child with you?” Riona’s eyes bored into Cedar’s, and Cedar quickly looked away. Then, almost imperceptibly, she nodded.

  The house was so quiet Cedar could almost hear the dust in the air as she watched it swirl in a sunbeam shining though the window. “Does he know?” Riona asked.

  Cedar shook her head. She wasn’t sure how much to say. But it was out there now, the truth. She felt unsettled, as if she had just arrived in a strange city and hadn’t quite gotten her bearings yet. “No. He left me before I could tell him I was pregnant. I tried to find him. I just thought he should know. But he didn’t exactly leave a forwarding address. I guess he wanted to make a clean break of it.”

  Riona was still staring at her, and her gaze was filled with pity…and disbelief.

  “I didn’t come here to get anything,” Cedar said quickly. “And I’m not looking for Finn because I want money or child support or anything like that. I just want to talk to him, to ask him some questions, and that’s it. He doesn’t even need to see me.”

  Riona ignored this. “How old is the child?” she asked.

  “She’s six,” Cedar said, and then added, “Her name is Eden.”

  “Eden,” Riona repeated. “That’s a beautiful name.” She walked over to the picture window and stood there for a while, staring out into the marigolds. “But how?” she said, her face strained. “Tell me, Cedar, why were you asking about medical conditions? Is she unwell?”

  Cedar was about to sidestep the question when she heard a door slam at the back of the house. Riona turned in the direction of the sound and called out, “Rohan, is that you? We have a guest. Come meet her.”

  A few seconds later, a man emerged from the kitchen and filled the doorway to the living room. Cedar was surprised. Although Finn was fine-boned and slim, his father was an imposing ox of a man. He stood at least six foot five and must have weighed 270 pounds. His full beard was dark red and peppered with gray. He had small but sharp eyes and a slightly hooked nose. Cedar thought of the stories Maeve had told her about Paul Bunyan, the lumberjack giant.

  “Hello,” she said, nodding to him, as he did not seem inclined to cross the room to shake her hand.

  “What is she doing here?” he asked, looking at his wife.

  “Rohan, this is an old friend of Finn’s. Her name is Cedar. Cedar McLeod,” Riona stressed Cedar’s last name and gave her husband a significant look.

  He held his wife’s gaze for a long moment, and then looked at Cedar again, his eyes narrowed.

  “McLeod? Any relation to Maeve McLeod?” he asked.

  “She’s my mother,” Cedar said, not sure where this was going. “You know her? She never mentioned knowing Finn’s parents.”

  “Yes,” he answered.

  “Actually, dear, there’s more you should know,” Riona said to her husband. “Cedar tells me she has a child by our son.”

  Rohan’s expression grew dark, and there was a long silence. “That’s impossible,” he finally growled.

  “Why is that impossible?” Cedar asked.

  “Finn can’t have children,” Rohan said, a challenge in his eyes.

  Cedar raised her eyebrows. “Well, he did. I’m raising one.”

  “No. Impossible,” Rohan repeated. “It can’t be his.”

  Cedar was indignant. “Excuse me? She is his! I am one hundred percent sure of it, not that it’s any of your business! Look, I’m sorry that Finn didn’t tell you about me, but he told me you were dead! We were together for over two years! And as I told your wife, I’m not here to get anything out of him, or out of you. I did
n’t even know you existed before yesterday. I just want to talk to him.”

  “Cedar,” Riona said in a soothing tone, “please forgive my husband. We’re just surprised at the news, after all. And you were about to tell me more about Eden, about your medical concerns.”

  Cedar felt her fingernails digging into her palms and unclenched her fists. “Look, it’s really just Finn I need to talk to. Don’t trouble yourselves,” she said.

  She turned to leave, but Riona put a hand on her arm. “We want to help you. If Eden is ill, maybe there’s something we can do.”

  “She’s not ill!” Cedar snapped. “At least, I don’t think so.” She tried to regain her composure. “She’s just…special. She’s different, in ways that I’m not, so I thought it might have something to do with Finn. But if you won’t help me find him—and it’s obvious he doesn’t want to ever see me again—then there’s nothing that can be done.”

  “How is she special?” Riona asked.

  Cedar shook her head. “Honestly, Mrs. Donnelly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, and it really doesn’t matter if you can’t help me.”

  “But you said she’s special—different in ways that you’re not,” Riona persisted. “These special traits she has, you don’t have them?”

  Cedar frowned at the strangely worded question. “No. I’m extremely ordinary, believe me. Eden is, apparently, extraordinary.”

  Rohan was staring at Cedar as if he were trying to determine what particular species of plant she was. Then Riona spoke up again. “Cedar, could you give us a minute? I know you probably have to go, but this is a lot of information for us to digest, and I’d like to have a minute to talk with my husband before you leave. We won’t keep you waiting long, I promise.”

  Cedar sighed and nodded as the couple retreated into the kitchen. She sat back on the sofa and picked up her cup. The tea was cold, but she needed something to do with her hands. She could hear their whispered voices but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  After a few minutes, they reappeared.