Entangled
Page 47
“I know, I just always wanted to do that to you, for a long time. You’re sexy as hell when you’re startled.” He nips at my bottom lip before covering my mouth with his. My hands grasp the back of his neck. I feel his hand snake up my shirt, grazing my belly and almost sends me to my knees. He stops, feeling my body tremble. We peer into each other’s eyes and when he closes his, he slowly leans his forehead against mine. “I’ve missed this, so damn much.” He whispers. “Maddy, I’m so-“
“Shh,” I silence him. “We’ve got a lot to talk about. Both of us, but right now, I just want to be in a bed with you, in your arms, whether we’re doing something or not.”
“Wait, please, I had a whole speech planned. Just let me say this and get it out and then we can leave.” He paces back and forth, nervously. “I fucked up. I left, I ran and I was scared. You made me so happy that I was scared I’d fuck it up so I decided to leave so I wouldn’t hurt you down the road from now. I swear to you, life is gonna be tough, life is gonna throw us curveballs. I swear to you, you’re gonna cry. I swear to you, you’re gonna want to throw in the towel and quit. But I swear to you, that I’m gonna spend every day of my life trying to make you happy. If I fail, at least I tried and gave it my all. I swear to God, I’m gonna be the man you’ve always needed, the man I should’ve been. I’ll never leave you again. I’ll spend every day trying to make up for the time we lost because of my cowardice.” He starts to choke on his emotions. I take his hand in mine, and nod my head for him to continue as if he depended on my touch for strength to keep going. He relaxes, slightly and smiles. His eyes are glossy as if tears were ready to spill over. It warms my heart to see him opening up, even if he cried. I wanted that. It shows he’s human, not made of stone and definitely not like his heartless father, which I always knew. “If there’s one thing I learned from being apart from you,” he continues, staring into my eyes, “it’s that my life doesn’t make sense unless you’re in it. I didn’t know how to live, until I met you. I didn’t know how good it felt to smile again, until I met you. I didn’t know the beauty of skin on skin, until my body craved your touch. And I certainly didn’t know what love was or how amazing it felt, until I looked deep into your eyes and saw my future. You opened my eyes and now I can’t imagine closing them. You’re my heart, my soul and my everything. I want you to be my wife someday. I want to have a bunch of babies with you I want to make a million and one mistakes with you and then fix them, together. . I want to make love to you over and over, for the rest of our lives, being the only one to touch your beautiful naked body, making you squirm, hearing you moan my name. And in turn, I want you to be the only woman to ever discover my sensitive body parts, pleasing me, loving me, broken and all. Scarred or healed. Just give me another chance and I’ll show you, I’ll move heaven and earth for you. God,” He wipes my tears away that I didn’t realize I was crying. And then his fingers trace my jawline, slowly. “I’m so truly, madly, deeply in love with you. And I don’t want to stop.” His breath is hot on my face.
Wait-
“Did you just quote Savage Garden?” It’s one of my favorite songs too.
“You’re totally ruining my heartfelt speech.” He complains. I stifle a laugh but clamp my mouth shut. I fucking love his speech. “And yes, that was one of their hits from like forever ago. I just-“
“Shh.” I cover his mouth with my hand to silence him. “I’ve heard everything I needed to hear. That was an amazing speech. But right now, I wanna leave with you. Take me somewhere, I don’t care where. I just need to be close to you, in you…if you catch my drift.” Shit, he’s driving me crazy. I just wanna be in a bed with him, our bodies tangled in each other.
“I’m totally on the same page.” He kisses me softly, leaving enough room for my tongue to slip inside his mouth. My arms circle around his neck, my hands run through his thick, amazing hair. “You taste so good. I’d say we rent a room for the night. I’m pretty sure our apartments are both being used for the night.”
“Oh god, that sounds perfect. Let’s do it.” He smirks, I hit him jokingly and push past him. It will be the perfect night.
Chapter 72
Noah
We pull up to a Best Western and check in. My adrenaline is pumping with excitement and anticipation. My karaoke performance was stellar-at least I thought so. And most importantly, Maddy loved it too. It brought so much emotion out of me and I felt so alive.
We have to talk about everything. I want to always be open and honest with her from now on, and not run from us. I can’t afford to lose her again. I have to constantly remind myself that I left her. I need to stop acting like the victim. I want to start over, completely anew. “Hey, babe. Want some coffee?”
I shake my head excitedly. I need coffee, Coffee sounds good.
Once I pay for the room, the desk clerk hands me my receipt and key. “Ready baby?” She nods, handing me a delicious, steamy cup of liquid.
“Ooo, could we order room service?”
“If they’re open, you can order whatever you want.” She kisses my cheek and races toward the elevator. I take a minute to appreciate her carefree spirit, the girl I met and fell in love with. My fearless goddess.
When she looks back at me, a blush creeps up on her cheeks. It’s adorable. The elevator opens, empty and we get in. I pull her close. “Ever done it in an elevator?”
“No, I was never a fan of elevators, remember?”
“I’m going to show you a good time and you’ll forget all about your dislike for them. One day.” I whisper.
“Sounds promising.”
“I can give you a preview now.” Before she can answer, I thrust her up against the wall and put all my weight on her. I kiss her neck, throat, collar bone, working my way down to her chest-
The elevator doors open. I groan and reach to hit the close button so we can have a few minutes of privacy. Once they close, I resume my kisses, and find the top of her chest. I move my hands under her shirt, upward. “Noah.” She breathes into my mouth. I pull back and stare into her eyes. I tuck strands of her hair behind her ear and kiss her temple, removing my hands from her breast. “I’m going to stop now and be good. Otherwise I won’t be able to stop at all.” I push away from her, reluctantly. I resume the elevator to the fourth floor. “Okay, that was a great preview. I look forward to the real thing.” She grins, appearing flustered. I know I am. I need to cage my monkey, because right now, he wants out. I give her my best flirtatious smile and hold her hand as we dash down the hall to our room. I stick the key into the slot and push down on the door handle. Maddy pushes past me and her eyes light up. It amazes me when how the little things excite her. I love making her smile, laugh, cry happy tears. She’s had too much pain in her life. She deserves a night in a hotel room with a man who desires her more than his own life. One thing I learned from Lex and Maddy is that I’m not my father. I have a heart and a soul. I’m not afraid to be vulnerable anymore. I’ll spend every second of every day showing her the me I want to be, the me she makes me want to be. And along the way, I’ll make mistakes because like Bon Jovi says, I’m just a man, but I’ll never let her go again. That’s a mistake I can never make as long as I’m breathing.
She collapses on the bed, appearing exhausted. I lock the door and head straight for the bathroom. I’ve had to piss since I got off the plane this evening. “Babe?” Maddy calls to me from the other side of the door.
“Yes?” I finish my business, flush and wash my hands. She speaks once I open the door.
“We didn’t bring clothes.”
“And?” She crosses her arms and leans against the door frame. “And? I want pajamas to sleep in.” I find her pouty face adoring and kiss her nose.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be spending most of the night without clothes on anyway.” I whisper in her ear and then grab her by her legs and throw her over my shoulder. She giggles and screams while I toss her onto the bed. I lean over her, holding myself up with both hands on either side of her bo
dy. She’s breathing hard; soon her gaze meets mine, intense, enchanting, holding me captive. My stomach flutters, a feeling only this girl can pull out from deep within me. Her finger traces a line from my jaw down to my chest over the place where my heart races. She places her hand there, feeling the quick thump, “Your heart is beating so fast.” She smiles.
“You do that.” I cover her hand with mine. “Only you.” Our fingers lace. I lean down and kiss her slowly, savoring the taste of her lips. Her kiss increases and her tongue mingles with mine, finding their rhythm. Her hands move up to pull me down on top of her. Our legs tangle and I cup her cheeks, kissing her fiercely, never wanting to let her go. But I pull back, knowing we need to talk. “Maddy,” I move off her, laying on my side to look at her, “I’m really sorry for hurting you. You have to know I did it for you. I didn’t want to leave. It was killing me to be apart from you.” She rubs my cheekbone gingerly with her thumb. I close my eyes, enjoying the sensations coursing through my veins.
“I know Noah. I get it.”
“There wasn’t a day that went by I didn’t think of you. Not one, no matter how hard I tried to get you out of my mind.”
“I know, Spencer told me.” I kiss up her arm. “Spencer has a big mouth.” I rub circles across her cheek with my thumb. “The truth is, I was scared of my intense feelings for you. I was scared of being like my father and leaving you. I was scared of failing to be the man you deserve. You deserve the best and I fell short of that. I let my fears run me off. It’s what I always did. When shit got real, running was easier than dealing with it. My father treated my mother like shit and I was afraid history would repeat itself.” I prop myself up on my left elbow and gently stroke her cheek with my fingertip. Her eyes close, reveling in my touch.
“Here’s what I think,” She says, leaning into my hand, eyes still closed. “Your past doesn’t define you, unless you let it. Only you can determine your future. So if you want to be that guy back in New York who doesn’t want to trust anyone, then I can’t help you. But if you want to be the guy I know you can be, the one I’ve gotten glimpses of, the one I want with all my heart, if you want to be him again,” She takes my hand, kissing each finger and knuckle and then my palm before she returns my gaze. My eyes drift down to her lips, wanting to kiss her. I hold back the urge because this moment is more important than my impulses. “I’ll be there, here to walk with you. I’ll stand beside you as you face your fears, doubts, uncertainties. You’ll never have to face them alone. I love you Noah, with everything I have and all that I am. Do you love me enough to walk this path with me, together?”
I roll onto my back but keep a firm grip on her hand. “When I went back to New York, I thought I was doing right by you. I thought you were better off without me. You deserved someone who looked forward to your phone calls, just to hear your voice. Someone who loved the sound of your laugh. Someone who would cherish every second spent with you and not takes a single thing for granted.” I lean over and kiss her nose, her left eye, her right eye, and finally her mouth.” She kisses me back with such fervor, I forget to breathe. This girl, she takes my breath away and I love it. I pull back to look at her. “How ‘bout that room service?”
“Umm.” Her stomach growls, making her giggle with embarrassment. “I guess I don’t have a choice.” I kiss her once more before I lift up off the bed and check what’s on the menu. Before I have a chance to relay our choices, my phone beeps. Spencer.
“Noah is busy and can’t come to the phone right now so please leave a message when you hear the beep…beep.” I hold back a laugh.
“Um, yeah this is Spencer, Noah’s ex best friend. I was just calling to tell him I broke into his house-“
“You’re a moron, I don’t have a house and that’s not funny. And thank God I don’t have a best friend named Spencer. He was annoying as fuck with a big mouth.”
“You suck.”
“What can I do for you?”
“Did you guys kiss and make up yet? Or perhaps have make-up sex?” I glance at Maddy flipping through the channels; a smile spreads across my face.
“Yo, Noah. What the hell man?”
“Sorry, I was admiring the view.” Maddy turns to look at me, blushing. I wink at her.
“I bet you were. Okay, I’ll let you two lovebirds get back to business. Where you staying at anyway?”
“How’s Andi? And we’re at a hotel in town.”
“I’m taking care of her.”
“Okay, give her our love. Talk to ya later.” Maddy’s laying her head in my lap now.
“Goodnight.”
“Noah?” I set my phone down on the table beside the bed, careful not to disturb her comfortable position. I stroke her cheek, noticing her sad expression. At the touch, her eyes close every so often. “Yes baby?”
“Do you think Spencer will ever move here?”
“I don’t know, I hope so.”
“Do you think Andi will be okay?” She slurs, sleepily.
“We’ll make sure she’s okay.” I assure her, threading my fingers through her long hair. Her eyelids droop. She wraps her arm around one of my legs and snuggles close. “I love you, Noah.” She whispers. I lean down to kiss her cheek and whisper, “Babe, I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
She soon falls asleep in my lap. And as much as I want to devour her body with mine and kiss every inch of her skin, I don’t wake her. Watching her sleep now, feeling her even breaths against my palm and witness her eyes flutter beneath her lids makes all of the tears and heartache of being away from her more than worth it. I could watch her sleep forever. I lean back against the headboard and watch TV, until my eyes can no longer stay open. This is where I belong.
Chapter 73
Maddy
I quickly gather my things, leaving the clinic for the day. Noah is picking me up and he’s meeting my father for the first time. I’m so nervous. I pull my strap over my shoulder. “Maddy, you need to relax. It’s just two men meeting, nothing more.” Amanda tries to calm my nerves, taking my hand. “Everything will be fine.”
“Thanks. I don’t know why I’m such a basket case.” I pause, “Oh yeah, it’s because I’ve never had to do this before. It’s all new to me.”
“I guess that’s true.” She pulls me in for a hug. “Good luck, sweetie.” After Noah and I got back together and things were taken care of, Amanda gave me my job back. It’s only been two weeks since he came home and Andi’s father died. It was rough for us all. Spencer came back with him and stayed until after the funeral. He and Andi talk as much as they can. He’s going into business with his father and once he can run things on his own, he’s moving here.
Noah’s mother moved here to be closer to Linda and Noah. But I could tell Linda was especially happy, being reunited with her sister. Therapy has helped her clean up. Her relationship with Noah has improved so much and I love seeing them together.
“Okay, see you on Monday.” She practically shoves me out the door. I look at he closed door, baffled. I guess, I shouldn’t complain. It’s Thursday and she gave me tomorrow off. Happy three day weekend to me.
“Hey hot stuff, need a ride?” Noah pulls up beside me. His hair slicked back, away from his face. I bend down to look at him through the window. “Oh uh, I’m not supposed to talk to hot strangers.”
“Is that so?” He grins, melting my heart into a puddle at my feet.
“Yeah, my amazing boyfriend has a bit of a jealous streak in him. He might beat your ass.” Noah laughs.
“Well tell him he’s a lucky son of a bitch and he better treat you right.” He winks.
At that point, I open the door, crawl across the seat and into his lap, throwing myself at him. “He treats me like a goddess.” I kiss him hard. His hands weave through my hair before he pulls back.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” I say back, staring at him, stare at me. I finally break the spell and climb back into my seat. “How was your day?” I ask, buckling my seat belt.
/> “It was, you know, same old same old.” He puts the jeep in drive, leaving the parking lot. “I turned my resume into every school district within a hundred mile radius. I guess we’ll see what happens.” He’s taking classes to finish school and get his teaching certificate. He’s got the summer to get something, which I have faith something will come up. “I’m proud of you.” He glances at me.
“What about you?” He grabs my hand and presses a kiss across my knuckles. “Ready for me to meet your father?”
“Yeah, I’m a complete nervous wreck.”
“Babe, there’s nothing to it. It’s gonna be great.”
“How can you be so calm?” I start to babble about how I just want them to get along and I’ve never had to go through this introduction of boyfriends.
“Let’s just be ourselves, and it’ll be fine.”
“Am I just being paranoid?”
“No, you’re not. You’ve never been through this, so it’s natural to be nervous. But don’t be, I’ll be right here beside you. We’re in this together.” I believe that.
We pull up to the house, Noah shuts off the engine and shifts in his seat to look at me. His expression is serious. “I may tell you this a thousand times but I’ll never stop saying it. I’m so proud of you, Maddy. I’m so god damn proud of you, your strength is incredible. You’ve endured so much, yet you’re a selfless, kind-hearted, fearless woman. I left you during a shitty time and yet you forgave me. You were still able to look at me with such love, love I didn’t deserve. I can’t express my gratitude enough. I love you so much and feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Your heart, soul, you and you alone are mine. Always.” He wipes a tear from my eye that slipped out and more fall. It’s hard to keep my emotions at bay, when his heart is so opened to me. I wipe my nose on my sleeve. For the first time in a long time, it’s tears of happiness and joy that I’m crying. Noah leans in and kisses my face.