Rusty Logic

by Robin Alexander

“Do you already have a post in place, or will you need one of those?” Keith asked.

  “Yep, I got one.” Rusty headed for the register with Keith following behind her.

  “Do you need a mounting kit? We’re having a great sale on drill bits in case you’re interested. I can give you a lesson on how to install the new box. That’s part of our service here, and it won’t cost you a penny extra.”

  “It looks pretty cut and dried to me,” Rusty said, annoyed with Keith’s exuberance.

  Keith moved behind the register and took the box from Rusty. “Well, if you have any questions at all, you can just call the store, and I’ll be happy to help.”

  Rusty paid for the box and walked the four blocks back to her house. “You’re about to die,” she said to the fish as she passed it on her way to the garage. She didn’t have any tools, but she’d spotted on old hammer and a wrench hanging on hooks on the wall. There was also a jar of nails encrusted with dust sitting atop an old workbench. Rusty was certain that was all she needed.

  *******

  When Kirsten grew weary of her administrative duties, she went on patrol. It kind of made her long for the days when she was simply an officer, and she didn’t have to deal with town politics. Her mind was on the argument she’d had with her father that morning when she turned onto Chestnut Street. She sat up a little straighter when she noticed Rusty swinging a pipe at something. As she drew closer, Rusty swung again, and the bass-shaped mailbox flew up in the air and landed in the neighbor’s yard. Its door/mouth flopped open as if it were stunned by the indignity.

  Kirsten stopped by Rusty, who was leaning against the fishless post catching her breath. “What happened? Did it bite you?” Kirsten asked as she rolled down her window.

  “Whoever put that damn fish on this post meant for it never to come off. I broke a hammer trying to pry it free.”

  Kirsten looked at the new box sitting on the ground and the jar of nails beside it. “Do you have a drill?”

  “No, I’ll just have to drive in the nails with this pipe.”

  “Give me a few minutes. I’ll run by my house and get my things. We’ll have this box up in no time,” Kirsten said as she drove away.

  Rusty watched the patrol car round the corner and said, “Do I look like I need help? I run a successful company. Surely, I can install a mailbox.”

  Rusty tore open the cardboard box and set the mailbox on the post. The lip around the bottom of it slipped into a crevice between the actual post and the ledge that joined it. She gave it a little nudge, and it stayed in place. “Done.”

  She retrieved the bass from the neighbor’s yard and tossed it into one of the boxes in the back corner of the garage. She froze when she heard something scurrying around. The windows were crusted over with dirt and mold, and the only light that entered the smelly space came from the roll-up door. Rusty didn’t dare go farther into the garage, but she stared at the shadows in the corner feeling that something would jump out at any moment.

  She whirled around when Kirsten stopped her car in front of the house. She got out wearing a black polo shirt with an embroidered badge on the chest. She had on jeans, boots, and a gun belt around her hips.

  “I’m sorry you wasted a trip, I’ve already got it together,” Rusty said as she walked down the driveway.

  Kirsten gazed at the box for a moment, opened the door, and watched as the whole thing fell to the ground. “Is this more of a practical joke for the mailman?”

  “No, it was stuck on there before.”

  “There was a piece of wood fastened to the ledge where the box sits. Did you break that?”

  Rusty shrugged. “I didn’t see anything like that.”

  “It’s probably stuck underneath the fish,” Kirsten said with a nod. “Where’s the old box?”

  “It’s in the back of the garage and is probably home now to something I’d rather not see. I’ll run to the hardware store. What kind of wood do you need and what size?”

  “Why waste the money if it’s salvageable?” Kirsten said as she headed for the garage.

  Rusty followed. “You should probably pull out your gun. Whatever is in there made enough noise to make me believe it wasn’t a bug.”

  Kirsten’s stride faltered, and she came to a stop at the door. “Okay, I’m gonna come clean right now. I cannot stand rats or mice. Snakes scare me less. So if I get in there and I see a furry vermin, I will scream like a little girl. If you tell anyone you witnessed that, I will ticket you every time you pull out of your driveway. Are we clear?”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to go to the store?”

  Kirsten met Rusty’s gaze. “Are you clear on what I just said?”

  “Yep.”

  Kirsten blew out a breath and moved slowly into the garage. “Where’d you throw it?”

  “In that back corner where all those cardboard boxes are.”

  “Naturally,” Kirsten said with a sigh as she continued to take careful steps.

  “Are you regretting your choice to be a Good Samaritan?”

  Kirsten shook her head. “I believe you should always offer a hand when you can.”

  “In my experience, the hand offered often gets bitten.”

  Kirsten glanced over her shoulder. “Don’t say anything else.” She moved a box with her boot and carefully waded into the pile. “I see it.”

  Kirsten snatched the fish box so fast Rusty didn’t realize she had it until she ran out of the garage. She jumped out of the way and asked, “Is there something inside of it?”

  Kirsten gave it a shake. “No, and lucky for us, the base board is intact,” she said as she walked down the driveway.

  Rusty watched as Kirsten got out her drill and took what looked like a million screws out of the board. She handed the fish to Rusty, who took it back to the garage and threw it in the opposite corner. When she returned, Kirsten was already attaching the board to the post.

  “Are you the builder type?” Rusty asked as she watched.

  “Not really. I can screw just about anything, but I lack the vision to construct anything of worth.”

  “You may want to watch your choice of words. Saying you can screw anything doesn’t exactly put you in a good light.”

  Kirsten laughed. “You’re right, and you actually have a sense of humor. I was beginning to fear you were like Mitch, he’s one of the officers you met the other night. The only time I’ve ever seen him laugh was when Bryan accidentally Tasered himself.”

  “I have been known to joke on occasion,” Rusty said as she watched Kirsten set the new mailbox on the base board and began attaching it with more screws. “That looks so much better. Now I don’t have to see the butt of a fish when I look out the window.”

  Kirsten was about to comment when dispatch summoned her on the radio and asked her to call the station. “Would you like to set the last few screws?”

  “I can do that.” Rusty’s eyes widened as Kirsten handed her the drill.

  “Just put a little pressure on the screw head and let the drill do its work. I need to step away and make a call.” Kirsten walked over to her car and pulled her phone out of her pocket. “Whatcha got?” she said when the dispatcher answered.

  “Dee Jessup just called. She sounded pretty upset and wants you to go out to her house. She wouldn’t say why, but she assured me that no one was in imminent danger. She only wants to talk to you, no one else.”

  “Okay, I’ll head over there now.”

  While Kirsten was on the phone, Rusty had already pushed in two screws and was working on the last one with a maniacal expression on her face. “I really like this thing.”

  “Well, you can play with it for a while,” Kirsten said as she opened the door to her car. “I have to take care of something right now, but I’ll drop by later and pick it up. I’m sorry to leave you.”

  “No problem,” Rusty said distractedly as she looked around for something else to use the drill on.

  *******

  Dee
Jessup was standing outside her home when Kirsten turned into her driveway. She was barely out of the car when Dee tugged her arm. “I didn’t want you to be dispatched over the radio because my husband said some people can listen to police radios with a scanner. I don’t want anyone knowing about this, so you can catch the person responsible,” Dee said as she dragged Kirsten into her backyard.

  The Jessups were in the process of having an in-ground pool installed. The ground was dug up, and the pool was in place but far from finished. Kirsten’s boots sank into soft earth.

  “See how mushy it is?” Dee said. “They broke a water line with their machinery when they brought the pool in. They fixed it, but the ground back here hasn’t dried out, and that’s how I noticed the prints and the mess.” Dee pointed at the ground, just below a window. “Look.”

  Boot prints were clearly visible, and they were surrounded by what looked like cigarette ashes. Kirsten knelt, pressed her fingers into the powdery substance, and gave it a slight sniff. Whoever had been at the window spent a while there because ashes were all over the ground, but there were no butts. She paid more attention to the prints and followed them beneath the eaves of the house until they disappeared on drier ground.

  “Whose room is this?” Kirsten pointed to the window.

  “Candace’s.” Dee threw up her hands. “I know what you’re thinking. Everyone knows she’s dating Noah Whitehead, and that’s the first thing that popped into my mind. I questioned Candace. I shined a hot light in her face and everything. I even threatened not to allow her to take her driver’s license test if she didn’t tell me the truth. She swore up and down with her hand on a Bible that he’d never been at her window. These prints were made last night.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Yesterday, the pool people were here, and I showed them how wet the ground was because they tried to deny they broke the water line. I stood right here and pointed at the ground, and I would’ve noticed these prints.”

  “What time was that?”

  “Around two, and I didn’t allow the kids to come out here when they got home from school because I didn’t want them tracking mud in my house.”

  Kirsten stared at prints much too large to be Stella’s unless she was wearing clown shoes. Stella didn’t smoke, either. “I notice that Candace’s blinds are closed. Were they last night?”

  Dee shook her head, looking miserable. “After we got the privacy fence, we all started leaving our blinds open. Even after they took a section of it down to bring in the pool, we still didn’t bother because we weren’t in the habit of keeping them closed anymore. It makes me sick that someone was standing out here watching my little girl. I haven’t even told Phil yet. I knew it would make his blood pressure spike while he was at work, but I’m gonna have to tell him when he gets home.”

  Kirsten took out her phone and snapped a few pictures of the prints, then measured them. She checked the window for any signs of tampering and found none. She patted Dee on the shoulder and said, “Tonight, I’ll have Bryan hiding in your yard. If whoever this is comes back, we’ll get them. I know I don’t have to tell you this now, but keep your windows and doors locked all the time and the blinds closed.”

  Chapter Six

  After leaving Dee, Kirsten drove over to Noah’s house, so she could be there when he came home from school. When she got there, though, he was already home and working on an old car parked in the yard. Noah spotted her as she climbed out of her cruiser and put his hands up.

  “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it,” he said as she approached.

  “Why aren’t you in school?” Kirsten asked.

  “I have a sore throat and cough. Mom said I should stay home, so I wouldn’t get anyone else sick.”

  Kirsten doubted that Noah’s mother said any such thing. Daphne was a single mom who commuted to Lafayette for work. It was common knowledge that she didn’t come back on some nights when she’d spent her time in the bars after leaving the office. Even when she was home, Noah pretty much did as he pleased.

  “Stay out late last night?” Kirsten asked, studying his grease-stained face.

  “No, and I wasn’t at Candy’s window. She already called me about that and said her dad would probably want to talk to me tonight.”

  Kirsten smiled. “You feel comfortable about talking to Phil Jessup?”

  “No. He’s like a mountain with legs, and he ain’t gonna believe anything I say, so I ain’t going over there.”

  Kirsten held Noah’s gaze waiting for him to break. He and some of his friends had painted graffiti all over a local church. When Kirsten questioned him, he couldn’t stand still to save his life, and he kept his right hand in his pocket. When she finally made him show her his fingers, they were stained with red and black paint. Noah wasn’t dancing around this time, and he held Kirsten’s gaze unwaveringly.

  Kirsten looked down at his feet, and his ratty sneakers were surprisingly small for a boy Noah’s height. “Do you own a pair of boots?”

  “I have a pair of shit kickers, and they’re in my car. You can look at them if you want,” Noah said as she opened the door and pulled out a pair of cowboy boots. They were muddy, but the shape was wrong, and still the boots were much smaller than the prints Kirsten had seen.

  “Are you and Candace exclusive?” Kirsten asked.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Are y’all dating other people, or do you see each other only?”

  “Yeah. I love her, she loves me. She ain’t hollerin’ at anyone else, and I ain’t, either. Some fucking pervert was outside her window, and you need to do something about it instead of drinking coffee and eating doughnuts.”

  “Watch your mouth with me, Noah. Try my patience, and I’ll dig more into what you do at night. In jail, you don’t have to worry about Phil Jessup, but I can tell you some of the guys in there are bigger than he is, and they’d really like you. You’re eighteen now, right?” Kirsten could tell Noah wanted to make a smart-ass retort, but he at least had the good sense to bite his tongue. “I’m sure we’ll be chatting again soon, but until then, let me give you some advice. Wear underwear and keep your pants zipped.”

  Kirsten turned away and almost laughed at the blush that covered Noah’s face and made his blond hair look almost white in contrast. He covered the front of his pants with his hands. “An occasional bath isn’t a bad idea, either,” she called over her shoulder.

  *******

  In the time that Kirsten was gone, Rusty had built a trellis. Kirsten stared at it slack-jawed as she got out of her car. Rusty waved at it proudly.

  “After you left, I decided I needed my own drill, so I went to the hardware store. This was in a box, and it looked like a challenge, so I picked it up too. It was like putting together a puzzle but easier. The battery on my drill wasn’t charged, so I had to use yours, I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Earlier, you couldn’t put up a mailbox, but now you can build a trellis?” Kirsten said, completely stunned.

  “That’s because I didn’t have a drill. Tomorrow, I’m going back to the store, and I will buy all kinds of tools and implements of construction.”

  “To do what?”

  Rusty shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe they have something else I can build,” she said as she pulled a pack of gum from the pocket of her shorts. “You’re welcome to a piece of this, but I need to warn you, it’s full of nicotine.”

  “You smoke?”

  “No, that’s why I chew the gum. I haven’t had a cigarette in five months, but I still want one, therefore I chew. Did you save the town from chaos and destruction?”

  Kirsten smiled. “Maybe. Now I have to go to the station for a shift change meeting.”

  Rusty picked up Kirsten’s drill and a new box of screws and handed them to her. “Thank you for allowing me to use that and for your help. You’ve introduced me to a new hobby.”

  “Well, I’m glad I could be of assistance.” Kirsten juggled the drill and box of
screws as she dug into her pocket with her free hand and pulled out a slender case. “Open that and pull out one of my cards. It has my cell number on it in case you ever need anything.”

  Rusty did as she was asked and returned the case to Kirsten. “Did you offer me this in case the woman in the coat comes back, or are you volunteering to hold things while I drill them?” Rusty asked as she waved the card.

  “If someone suspicious is outside your house or you have an emergency, you call 911, I’ll still show up. And yes, I’ll assist if you need help with your new hobby.”

  “All right, thanks,” Rusty said with a nod.

  At the shift change meeting, Kirsten informed her officers of what she’d found at the Jessup house. “I’m a little unnerved by this one, especially since there have been a lot of workers that are not locals in the Jessups’ backyard and they know how private it is. Someone could’ve taken an interest in Candace and come back during the night to watch her. Noah Whitehead is the more obvious culprit, and at the moment, my suspicions lean more to him. Candace called him from school today, so he knew when I paid him a visit what it was about. I seriously doubt he’d be stupid enough to go back to the Jessups for any reason for quite a while, but I did tell Dee that Bryan would hang around the house tonight just in case my hunch is wrong.”

  Bryan pumped his fist. “Stakeout! Will I be in plain clothes?”

  “Wear whatever you want as long as it’s dark,” Kirsten answered with a smile.

  “Permission to get snacks for my stakeout, ma’am!” Bryan said loudly as he sprung to attention.

  “Boy, calm yourself down,” Mitch said with disgust. “And stop that yelling.”

  Antoine, one of the daytime officers, chuckled. “He blow out your hearing aid, old man?”

  “Don’t use no aids of any kind,” Mitch said as he smoothed his thick gray mustache with his fingers. “Anything else, Chief?”

  “No, that’s it. You and Bryan, have a good night. Antoine, I’ll see you in the morning.” Kirsten picked up her keys as Bryan walked over to her desk. “Say hello to Phil when you get there, so he doesn’t shoot you.”