Rock My World

by Masters, Cate

  “Ah, fuck me.” Harv sank onto the chair.

  The vague memory of saying that very thing to Harv teased his memory, along with the burning desire to smash a fist in the man’s face, but no facts accompanied the feeling. He had no frame of reference. “Don’t keep me in suspense. Who am I?”

  The hardness in Harv’s stare lasted an uncomfortable beat, then the man pushed up and shuffled out like an old man. “I’d better find the doctor.”

  “I feel fine.” Except for the pounding headache, wooziness and general lack of energy. A bloody miracle that he walked away from such a wreck with his memory the only real casualty. He could summon nothing specific about his life.

  Nothing except her. She gave him an instant high, and her openness, her warmth was comforting as an embrace. A hug would be fine to start. God, he loved her curves—not the harsh stick figure females that perpetually stalked him, but she had a natural softness about her he found irresistible. All he wanted to do was cuddle against her, lay his head on her bosom, feel her beneath him.

  Unfortunately, after today, he’d be lucky to see her again. He stared at the ceiling, hoping some scene from his past would play there. Give him clues. So far he had two: Cyn and the music that ran like the soundtrack of his life.

  He wasn’t going to give up on either. “Yes, find the doctor,” he called after Harv, who probably couldn’t hear him. “Tell him I’m going home.” Wherever that might be.

  If good for nothing else, Harv would know.

  He’d wing it until the rest of his memory pieced back together around Cyn. She was the center of it all, his heart told him. That would be enough to see him through the darkness. In fact, now he couldn’t wait to shed light on the past because it would lead him to the future. To her.

  The pounding in his head had lessened to the nuisance stage. Nothing a mild painkiller couldn’t cure.

  By the time Harv returned with the doctor on his heels, he’d pulled the clothes from the narrow closet. “What the hell are these?”

  Harv twisted his mouth as if about to puke. “Your signature look.”

  He’d bet Harv’s expression comprised the man’s signature look. “Not anymore.” He searched the locker for boxers, briefs, some other article of clothing. Nothing. He’d go commando.

  He stepped into the leather slacks, tugging them up when the fit grew snug.

  The doctor stepped around Harv, a young guy. Probably younger than himself. “Mr. Reynolds, I must insist—”

  He tossed the hospital gown onto the bed. “Sign me out, doc. I’m going home.”

  On his young face, the doc’s frown came off as parody rather than seriousness. “Your condition is precarious.”

  He laughed. “I feel fantastic.”

  His head lightened when he reached for the boots. Black, like the pants and shirt. Monotonous. A change was in order.

  Harv grabbed his arm to steady him. “Rex, slow down.”

  Rex? Really? He tossed back his head to clear the hair from his face. Next on the list, a haircut.

  “No time to waste, Harv.” Rex had a lot of catching up to do. “Are you giving me a lift, or shall I call a cab?”

  Harv pinched his mouth tight. “Okay, look. I will drive you home on one condition.”

  From now on, he’d be the one to set conditions. “Either way, I’m going home, Harv. You decide whether you’re in or out.”

  Pinched mouth opened long enough to blow out an exasperated breath. “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  Arms held wide, Rex made a show of scanning himself. “Too late for that, eh?”

  “I swear to Christ.” Harv raked a hand through what little hair topped his head. “I meant don’t do anything hasty. You’re not yourself, dude.”

  He rested his hands on his hips, considering. Wasn’t he himself? “The funny thing is, I feel exactly like myself. Dude.” Maybe for the first time in a long time. He hated to freak the guy out, but Harv had called it wrong, and Rex bet this wasn’t the first time.

  “Let’s go, old man. You can lecture me on the way.” Despite missing a chunk of memory, he was pretty freaking good, and things could only get better from here.

  Chapter Three

  “Why so glum, chum?” Tia rested her elbows on the counter and batted her eyes.

  Daydreaming again. For how long? Cynthia plucked a stray thread from a bolt of fabric. “Wish I knew what to do.”

  “About the gorgeous, lonely rock god pining away for you?” Tia tapped a nail to her cheek. “Hm, that’s a tough one... Not! Go get him. Let him ravish you. You need a good fu—”

  “No.” Cynthia snapped straight. “He’s vulnerable. Everyone else in his life uses him. I’m not going to betray him.” She busied herself folding the material she’d laid out.

  Tia unrolled the bolt of fabric again. “Right. Because I’m sure he’d just hate having sex with you, for whatever reason.”

  She grabbed the material and crumpled it into a ball. “If I need sex that badly, I’ll hire a gigolo.”

  “Hey, calm down. I’m just pointing out how lucky you are. It’s not every day a rock star falls in love with you.”

  Cynthia gave her best parental scowl to her friend. “He only thinks he’s in love. He has amnesia, but I remember fine.”

  Tia countered with little girl innocence. “No reason not to take his calls.”

  “I’m still too rattled.” The scene in the hospital kept replaying in her head. His absolute certainty. Her mute surprise. She should have stayed with him, talked him through his confusion.

  Her friend gave a sexy purr. “Shake, rattle and roll, baby.”

  Cynthia flailed a hand. “See? I can’t talk to you about this.”

  “I’m only teasing. Why do you keep getting so upset?” Tia snapped her fingers, her mouth in an exaggerated O. “I get it. You fell for him.”

  “No, don’t be silly.” Cynthia’s laugh sounded false even to herself. “I’ve seen him exactly twice in my entire life.” Not counting every video online she could find—his interviews, in which Rex revealed his intelligence and dry wit, and his deep dimples when he smiled; his music videos, his gritty voice grinding deep into her, awakening some forgotten part of her, the one that knew sexy purrs too well. No, if anything, she’d gone overboard for Rex, the bubbly fangirl who lost her head just thinking about him. The very sort of girl he despised. She should never have barged in his hospital room—with cookies, of all things—but she had to see for herself that he was all right.

  Physically, he seemed fine, but he must’ve taken a doozy of a blow to the head. Weird that his amnesia should be so selective. He appeared deadly serious when he called her his fiancée. Maybe after their conversation in the Green Room, his mind turned his memories upside down, and fooled him into thinking that? She couldn’t deny they’d made some connection that night, but she hadn’t guessed he felt it too.

  At the ring of the phone, Cynthia froze. She couldn’t even move to check the caller ID.

  Tia headed toward the desk. “I’ll get it.”

  “No.” Cynthia practically shouted. “Let the machine pick up. Please?”

  “Honey, I’m starting to worry about you.” But for once, Tia listened, and turned in a one-eighty.

  The recorded greeting kicked on, and after the beep, a deep sigh. “Not there again, eh?”

  Rex’s soft baritone tugged at Cynthia, but she stood her ground.

  “You’re going to give me a complex, love. The hospital released me days ago but I can’t reach you. I’m going to have to drive over to check on you…”

  “No!” Cynthia didn’t hear whatever he said next. She scrambled to the phone. “Rex, hi.” All smiles, she smoothed her hair. Too bad she couldn’t smooth her pounding heart rate.

  “Cyn. You’re home after all.” His enthusiasm poured through the phone.

  “I just came in and heard your voice, so rushed over to the machine.” Liar. She hated herself for acting so stupid.


  “I’ve missed you so much.”

  The words sliced her heart open, and the rush of warmth threatened to pour out of her. “Rex, no. Your memory still hasn’t returned?”

  “Not everything. But I remember the most important things. You. My music.”

  No, no. Why was this happening? “You can’t. I’m not—”

  “I need to see you, Cyn. Please.”

  She wanted nothing more than to invite him over, hold him and comfort him. “We’re really not—”

  “No nonsense about how I should focus on the band. I hear enough of that from them. Are you busy?”

  “Right now?” Alarm bells went off in her head. She almost thought she imagined the doorbell’s chime except Tia walked toward it.

  In her ear, Rex’s smile sounded in his low voice as he sing-songed, “Let me in.”

  Her eyes flew wide, and she flicked a desperate glance at Tia and violently shook her head. Wrong move. Her friend whooped and lunged for the door.

  “Tia, no.” She reached out.

  Too late. Rex’s smile bounced from Tia to her.

  “There you are.” He strode toward Cynthia. “God, you look delicious.”

  Holy rock star. So did he. His hair, now in shorter layers, appeared lighter brown and bounced with his every step like some ridiculous, slow-motion shampoo commercial. In his charcoal knit shirt, black leather jacket, jeans and black boots, he could have been any guy. Well, any guy handsome enough to be a male model.

  Five long strides, and he threw his arms wide for an embrace.

  The entire room took on a vividness it had lacked before as Rex’s energy filled the space. Rooted in place, Cynthia gripped the phone tighter to resist his million-dollar smile, aimed at her. She couldn’t let this go on any longer. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “You know I can’t bear to be away from you for long.” He closed his arms around her in a breath-stealing hug, drew away long enough to beam at her before he crashed his mouth onto hers.

  The jolt lit up her body with electricity, all her senses flashing and dinging like a one-armed bandit hitting the jackpot. So good, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she had.

  His abrupt halt left her woozy.

  “I was right. You are delicious. I need another taste.” He dove down to nibble along her neck, leaving a trail of heated prickles that danced along her nerves and ended in a resounding gong at her core.

  She pieced together her scattered thoughts. “Rex, we need to talk.” Whose breathy voice said that?

  He strained against her when she pushed him away.

  An arch of his brow, and his grin widened. “After.”

  “After?” She had no time to say anything else as his next kiss silenced her. The word ‘after’ faded from her mind as her senses went on another roller coaster ride. Instead of screaming in fright, her inner wild girl screeched an exhilarated laugh, raised her hands high as the coaster went into a thrilling dip.

  Cushions pressed against her back, and she braced against an argument pushing through the haze in her mind.

  Can’t.

  Stop.

  His fingers pried open her blouse, lips and tongue following, pausing long enough to nibble her breast as he unzipped her jeans. If she didn’t stop him, Rex would see her naked, no clothes to hide her plumpness. The brief thought numbed her with dread, and she sobered long enough to peek over his shoulder. Tia was nowhere in sight, must have fled somewhere between the kiss and the sofa. Bless her traitorous soul.

  Can’t.

  Stop.

  Grasping his hair, she tried to catch her breath and line up her arguments, little soldiers of logic and rationale. At the brush of his fingers inside her panties, those soldiers did a wild dance of surrender. Who was she kidding? She’d thought about this since the night she met him.

  He tugged down her jeans and she raised herself up to help speed the process.

  Can’t stop.

  Can’t stop.

  His head kept moving south, and lust drove her to near delirium. A few flicks of his tongue sent her soaring into the stratosphere in a crazy rush. When her consciousness touched down to earth, he was standing. Whipping off his clothes.

  Last chance, her rational mind whined. She trembled, rigid with indecision.

  Naked, he scooped her up with a growling laugh, one so contagious she found herself giggling. She clung tight to him as he whirled her around, then sat down with her on his lap. She eased away, and her fears melted. The way he looked up at her with such pure love and acceptance emboldened her.

  “Sweet Cyn.” An intense heat shone in his eyes as he swept his gaze over her. “Do you want me as much as I want you?”

  The depth of emotion in his voice reached deep inside her, wound around her heart and knotted, creating a tether between them. One she didn’t want to break. She shifted up and straddled him.

  “More.” She cupped his face and kissed him. He locked her in his embrace, skin to skin. She ached for more. And it was all there, within her grasp. All she had to do was reach down…

  Stop thinking, she ordered herself. She let her body take over. Her hands knew what to do. Her legs knew to raise her knees. Her hips knew how to rock. And in his arms, she felt wanted. Truly desired. He grabbed her ass with gusto, and clamped her knees against his sides, his murmurs warming her from the inside out, spurring her faster.

  He held her hips, slowing her. “Make it last, love. We have all night.”

  One night. “Not long enough.” Not fair. The one time she felt like she’d tapped into the mother lode of emotion, and somehow connected to the same wavelength as the man she was physically intimate with, and soon she’d have to end it. Forever.

  But not until later. She clung tighter. Her hips danced the can-can against his, and took them both up over the top, clinging tight to one another.

  He slumped to the side, tilting her along with him, face to face. “So you really did miss me after all.” The tiniest bit of relief came through in his half-smile, his whisper.

  God, so unfair. She deserved a guy who loved her like this, didn’t she? “Rex, you need to know—”

  The phone rang, and she wished she’d unplugged the damn thing. “Oh no.”

  He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  “I have a two o’clock appointment.” The disappointment in her voice surprised her.

  He gave her ass a squeeze. “You can be a little late, can’t you?”

  If only. She paused to listen to the message from her client, who was on her way. “She’s coming here. What time is it?”

  He squinted at the wall clock. “Bugger. Quarter till.”

  “Eek, we have to hurry.” She squirmed to get up.

  He trapped her in his embrace. “We’re engaged. She’ll understand if we can’t keep our hands off of one another.”

  At the word engaged, a tremor ran through her, and she let it roll off of her. “Mrs. Endicott is sixty-two. I doubt she’d be so understanding.”

  He nuzzled her. “Ignore the old bag.”

  “I need my clients. My business.” She couldn’t let herself fall victim again, especially when she was the one setting herself up for the fall.

  His smile faltered. “More than you need me?”

  She pressed her lips to his and lingered to drink him in. She shifted back, stared into the ocean of his eyes for what was probably the last time, and then patted his cheek. “Get dressed.”

  He heaved a breath. “Only because I love you.”

  Her heart twisted, and she gulped back the ‘I love you too’ that she wished she could say. “You’re amazing.”

  “Guess that’s why you love me too, eh?”

  The pain in his eyes told her she’d hurt him by not telling him so. “One of the many reasons.” This dream was too wonderful not to play along. She wished with all her heart it could be real.

  No way, she had to get real. Fast. Another quick kiss, and she scooted up to gather their clo
thes. She tossed his boxers and jeans at him.

  He rolled up to sit beside her. “What time will you be finished?”

  Blouse buttoned, she shimmied into her jeans. “Don’t you have band rehearsal or something?”

  He stepped into his pants and zipped up. “Not tonight.”

  “Oh.” Think, think. “I’m not certain how long the meeting will last. Mrs. Endicott’s very detail-oriented, so possibly hours.”

  His head popped through his polo. “Perfect. Enough time for me to make us dinner.”

  “No,” she blurted, then softened her tone. “Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”

  “No.” He flashed a wolfish smile. “And you’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

  She was beginning to see that. “But where are you staying? You don’t live in this area.” Did he? Surely she’d have known at least that much about him.

  “Astute as ever, sweetness. I rented a farmhouse just across the Delaware.” He scooped her into his arms.

  It felt so natural, him holding her close, like something they did all the time. “In Solebury?” Ah, those rolling country hills, so beautiful in any season. She’d wanted to live there since she was a girl.

  Between nibbles along her neck, he said, “Mm hm, less than an hour’s drive. Now, no more excuses. I’m making you dinner.”

  “Please don’t go to any trouble.”

  He touched his smiling lips to hers. “No worries, love. Call me when you’re free.”

  Free. Oh how could she forget? She wasn’t even divorced yet. What if Sterling found out she’d slept with a rock star? His lawyer would have a field day with that info. That knowledge gave her the strength to say, “I will.”

  The sting of his playful slap against her rear made her squeal.

  A wink, and he grinned. “Don’t forget.”

  “Never.” She’d cherish the memory, reside in the remembered warmth of his embrace whenever she needed comfort, or a reminder that she was worthy of such love.

  He blew her a kiss before stepping outside.

  The urge hit her to call him back, hold him, tell him everything would be all right. For him, at least. But for her, life would never have quite the same sparkle and verve. Tonight, she had to straighten things out with Rex. And give up the best thing that never happened to her.