“Yeah, I saw it all … I saw the file in that program you created with your prototype, the same file that said Doctor Finway committed suicide, and popped up with locks on yours and Marshalls information. The same file that recorded people’s death years in advance. Was it you who marked me to die? Tell me you at least honored our friendship that much, because to think that some random fuck decided my fate would really piss me off.”
He was frozen. Unable to answer my rant, he never knew I could access that file. Don’t trust anyone. The words of Doctor Finway flashed through my head.
“Lauren, that is a data-driven software. It’s nothing more than a cross reference for the government. You plug in the information and it searches death certificates and replaces information. You didn’t think the prototype was going to kill you?”
“Get out! Get the fuck out! I don’t believe you—Get the hell out of my house!” I pulled Alejandro with me as he tried to hold me back.
“You heard her—leave now.” Alejandro’s voice rang over me.
Roger reached down picked up his glasses looked back at me and grudgingly walked out the front door.
I swung around and grabbed Alejandro around the neck. He pulled me again into his chest his arms wrapped tight around my back. For now I just wanted to be okay, normal, live my life like any other average person; even if it was only for one more day.
Roger didn’t wait; he immediately tried to contact me. His name appeared in my right eye as Alejandro held me tight against his chest. Last thing I wanted to do was to talk to Roger. I hated him. Hated everything he stood for. He betrayed me, fed me to the wolves and had no intention to save me when they devoured me inch by inch. He was worse than Marshall. At least I knew Marshall was using me … but, Roger, he sneaked into my heart … plotted for our lives to use me … Maybe our whole friendship was a lie, faked so he could have a guinea pig to test his shit out on. The devastation he caused me and Samantha, and even cost Doctor Finway his life! What excuse could he possibly come up with that would justify what he has done to all of us? The pit of my stomach churned as I reluctantly, accepted his connection and waited to hear what lies he was going to plant in my head.
“Lauren, look I didn’t want to have to talk to you this way, but you left me no choice. I have to tell you what is going on with the prototype, Marshall, Sam and the CIA.” Alejandro felt my back straighten in his arms.
“Are you okay?” Alejandro pulled me back from his body.
“Yeah, I think I should sit down.”
“Let me help you.” He grabbed my arm and helped me sit down.
“Do you think you could get me a glass of water from the kitchen?” I asked as I mentally prepared to engage in proto-telepathy with Roger. I watched as Alejandro left the living room.
“Okay, you got my attention; start talking,” I stated out loud.
I heard Alejandro ask something from the kitchen.
“No, just talking to myself. Glasses are in the cabinet above the sink.” I hated doing this, but it was the only way I would find out what string Roger had tied between Samantha and my freedom.
“The prototype may seem like a curse right now, burdened with abilities that are life changing, I won’t argue that, but I want you to understand what I gave you.” Roger sounded proud.
My skin began to crawl; I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“What did you give me? I want to hear how much this is going to make my life better. Please, I’m waiting.”
“Lauren, I gave you the newest prototype. You can control your body, your senses, desires, wants and even needs. You have the ability to learn and retain anything you read, see and study. Your prototype has a downloadable upgrade. As it keeps evolving I can upgrade it half the time. You’ll be free from viruses, computer or organic. It is self healing and has programmable resistance to foreign germ warfare. You already know you have the ability to communicate to other prototypes, you can connect with other computers, hardwired or wireless- undetected,” he spoke quickly.
Alejandro brought back my glass of water. Ice cubes floated, I was grateful, it was starting to get real warm in my family room. I thanked him and drank it down quickly. His eyes widened and I handed the glass back to him.
“Could you please get me another glass of water? I’m so thirsty.” He bent down cupped his hand around the back of my head and kissed me on the top of my forehead.
I froze, his lips on my skin was so refreshing.
Why was I giving Roger the time of day to fill my head, when I had Alejandro with me?
Questions swirled ruthless in my head but one kept fighting to the surface. I collected my thoughts and asked him.
“Why did I get hurt when I was in Marshall’s head?”
It was painful to get the words to transfer to Roger’s prototype. I didn’t want to go back there. Didn’t want to remember what that felt like. I waited—no answer.
Alejandro returned with my glass filled to the top. New ice cubes floating pushing to the top one against the other. I knew what that felt like, to be on the bottom trying to push through to the top to see, breath, keep from melting down. I met Alejandro’s eyes and told him thank you as I pushed my finger into the water trying to let the lower cubes experience the top.
Roger began to answer my thought I sent to him. At the same time Alejandro sat next to me putting his arm across my lap to rest his hand on my knee I saw the cuts and abrasions from the vicious experience I had with him this morning.
The only thing that makes sense is all the other times when you were in Marshall’s and my head you were watching recordings not live events taking place. This time with Marshall, you were in his head as the fight was taking place. You got hurt because you chose the wrong person at the wrong time.
I didn’t choose him, he contacted me.
I sent him my last comment. He didn’t even wait for me to finish and he was talking again.
He used a glitch in the prototype I discovered months earlier. I found that experiences can be shared between two prototyped subjects as they are happening. I thought it was just recordings—I was wrong. You’ve heard about twins—one twin gets hit across the face; the other twin gets the bruise. It’s the same premise. Marshall called Alejandro to come over early today, knowing that he would be able to lock you in his head—knowing that you would feel everything Alejandro did to him. It all started when Marshall decided to cut Alejandro out of the prototype contract. Then he blackmailed me into installing the newest prototype in your head—he threatened me if I didn’t do it—he’d expose me to the CIA. Tell them about all the work I had done with Grayson Industries. It was like he lost his mind. He tried to remove the prototype from Doctor Finway’s head and killed him. Then he tried to disable it in Sam’s head and well, you see how that went, but when he threatened to kill you, that was the last straw.
I felt my body tighten and I just couldn’t hear anymore. I felt like I was going to throw up. I needed to process what information he gave me. I disconnected with Roger. I didn’t say goodbye; didn’t acknowledge him; I was done and needed to give my focus to the man sitting next to me. I’ve wasted enough time and we still needed to find Sam.
Alejandro pulled his hand off my knee took my water and set it down on the table before he pulled me close to talk.
“I need to tell you something.” His eyes started to glisten with grief.
I didn’t know if I could handle anything else today. My skin twitched with urgent messages to my brain.
“Don’t let him go home tonight. Whatever he needs to tell you, don’t let him out of your sight.”
“What is it?” I asked pushing my hand to his chest his heart beating fast through his silk button up shirt. With every beat my hand read his fear of my reaction. I put my hand to the side of his face, he tensed with my touch. I knew he needed to talk about what happened this morning.
“I want to be honest with you. That is important to me.” Alejandro grabbed my hand in his huge strong
grip, brought it to his lips and pressed firm to his heart as he continued to talk. “I need you to know that you’re important to me.” I watched him as he struggled to get the right words out. It was heartbreaking. I couldn’t take it. My body was aching to get through this. I took a deep breath and told him what I thought he wanted me to know.
“Is this about Marshall? I understand why you did it. I was there, I heard what he said and I felt the words come from his mouth. I wish there was some way I could’ve stopped him from hurting you. I’m sorry,” I whispered before I pushed into his chest, pushing so hard he stumbled back. I looked up into his face and saw the same teenage boy in the picture in front of the movie theater and the broken man standing in front of Marshall as he taunted him. I knew the look already. It was the same one he gave me when he left me in California.
“I killed Marshall. Soon the authorities are going to come looking for me. We don’t have much time, maybe a day. It might just be enough time to find Sam.”
I wanted to grab him, not let him out of my sight, but I couldn’t do that, so I did the next best thing, I offered to go with him to Maryland.
It was four in the afternoon and I was exhausted. I wished I had more time. I wanted to rest, my body ached, my mind was fuzzy and I was going to have to go back to the CIA in a couple of days. Some vacation this week turned out to be. I’ve lived more lifetimes in the last six days than I ever did in my entire life. I sauntered my way through the kitchen pulled open the garage door and reached for the keys on the hook I installed years ago to keep from misplacing them. I expected the door to drop against my back instead I felt Alejandro run his hand up and over my shoulder battling to grab the keys from me. It was strange to misplace the habit of the door hitting me in the back.
“I’ll drive, you point.” He passed me, rushed to the passenger’s door, and held it open. His hand guided me to sit as he waited for me to buckle my seat belt. Once he saw I was compliant, he shut my door and entered the driver’s side of the car.
“Baltimore, Maryland?” he asked.
“Yeah, that’s where my GPS indicated she was before it malfunctioned and her location basically disappeared.”
“You don’t know where she is exactly?” He unbuttoned the top couple of buttons on his silk shirt.
“Not exactly—but I did see her coordinates and I should be able to plug in those numbers to the comput—prototype. We are a little over an hour away. Head west, you’ll want to get on the four ninety five north.” My voice broke off. I tried to keep from yawning, but my body wouldn’t listen.
“Close your eyes. Once I get closer I’ll need your help.” He patted my knee softly reassuring me of his competence in driving this area. I forgot he used to live on the east coast.
“Thanks, but I want to stay up with you. Talk to me, keep me awake.” My eyes hung at half mass, I could hardly make out his features, but I was determined to stay awake for him, for me. I wanted to live in that place where I could feel normal again.
“Tell me something about yourself,” I rambled as he drove.
“What do you want to know?” He pulled his hand off the wheel and ran it through his jet black hair. Something I noticed he did when he was apprehensive.
“Favorite color?”
“Blue. You?”
“Green. Favorite time of day?”
“Early morning. Yours?”
“Same. What did you dream about being when you were a little boy?”
“A policeman. What about you?”
“President.” I felt my eyes stare at the clock on the dash long enough to become blurry, looking straight through it, not blinking. My mind tilted becoming lost in the memory of my childhood dreams.
“I was ambitious enough to change the world. Or so I thought.”
Silence filled the gap of time it took me to swallow and blink my stare loose from the flash memory of my silly childhood dreams. I had to know everything about him. Even things I didn’t want to.
“Did you know that Marshall threatened Roger into installing the prototype into my head?” His slight Adam’s apple bounced hard as he swallowed.
“No, I didn’t know Marshall threatened him.” His lips hardly moved as he spoke. I could tell he wasn’t telling me everything. He was very careful with his answer.
“How long have you known about the prototype?” I stared at him, watching for his expressions to change. Praying with every cell in my body he would give me the answers I wanted to hear. He turned to look at me. I watched as his eyes began to answer my question.
“A while.” He looked away refocusing on driving. Silence between us became thick before he continued, “Marshall, told me about it four months ago. I was looking to deal with another company from Japan. They had a similar technology but were still six months off from having a working prototype. About a week and a half ago Marshall contacted me, told me he had a prototype installed and ready for me to see.” His head lowered and I watched his eyes fix to the speedometer waiting for my reaction.
“That’s when Marshall called me. I fell for it, what an idiot!” I slammed my hand down on the dash pain shot up my wrist to my elbow. Alejandro’s head bounced back looking to see if I was hurt. His body language indicated he had more that he wasn’t telling me.
“The day he called me I flew out here. He and Roger met with me. I was impressed by the prototype. It did things that I never thought existed. Abilities way beyond I’d expected. We spent the day going over the formalities of the contract.
By the time we were done it was pretty late so Roger and I went out for drinks—a kind of celebration, for our deal. Roger drank way too much, I knew I shouldn’t have let him ramble, but he wouldn’t stop going on about this woman he worked with. How beautiful and brilliant she was. So naturally the more he said about her, the more I wanted to know. He must’ve sensed my interest because he wouldn’t tell me her name. I needed to know who he was talking about, still he wouldn’t budge. I left D.C the next morning.” Alejandro shifted his eyes back and forth from driving to me and back. “She kept circling in my thoughts and I just couldn’t shake her. Even when I knew I should be focusing on my business, she’d just keep coming back into my mind.
When Marshall told me he was coming to California, I couldn’t help myself; I asked him to bring the woman.” He pulled the car over as he finished his confession. I wanted to believe it was honorable, but frankly, I was scared.
“With every ounce of my honor, I didn’t know the prototype was permanent. It was, in my mind, just the perfect excuse to finally meet you.”
I didn’t want to believe what he was saying.
“You told Marshall to install it in my head? What the hell is wrong with you guys? Do you honestly think I was going to be happy?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. I told him to bring you to California. I didn’t tell him to install that thing in your head. I just needed to see you.” He looked at me with those familiar broken eyes. I couldn’t fix it this time. He was the catalyst that brought me to where I was now. Forever altered, not natural, and never the same.
“I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t need this. All I wanted was to be a good CIA agent and do some insignificant side jobs for Marshall. Now I am broken and changed into something I don’t understand. Something foreign, computer generated—something unnatural.” My eyes blurred I didn’t want to see anything anymore; I didn’t want to live in the shadows of what I was supposed to be. I ached all over and it had nothing to do with the technology Roger put in my head … I have be betrayed by everyone I’ve ever loved or trusted.
“Please Lauren. Don’t say that—you gotta believe me—I’m telling you the truth—I don’t want to lose you over this. I will fight for you. Please believe me.” He tried to reach over and touch me. I jerked back. I didn’t want him to touch me. I didn’t want to own this hell anymore. I wanted to go back to my old life, my life before Marshall, before Roger, before Alejandro. I was done being stifled by their deviance; done
with people damaging me by their own narcissistic desires.
My mind burnt with memories of shadows and shades of what I thought were real emotions. I was an empty shell waiting to be collected by my own visions of a superhero that didn’t exist.
We both sat there for a soundless moment. Unable to repair the damage inflicted by words and events we never had any control over.
“Alejandro? Why me? You’re a successful, smart, gorgeous man who could have anyone you want. Why are you willing to fight so hard for me? With this thing in my head?” My voice cracked, interrupted by my surging grief.
“I was intrigued the moment Roger talked about you. You don’t see it? When I met you, felt your energy, our chemistry. You’re amazingly beautiful, incredibly smart, and uncompromisingly vigilant. I’ve never met someone that was so protective and loyal. I want to be a part of that. No matter how small—give me that chance.” I watched his eyes shrink to small specks of hope. His slight smile covering his teeth. I wanted to be that to him … I wanted to make him my life … but how can I? How can I trust?
“I want to believe you. In my heart I ache to be with you, my mind crusades for you, but the space that balances in between keeps telling me to run. I don’t know if I can let that go.” I didn’t look at him when I answered.
I heard the car door close and when I looked up he was gone. I didn’t know where he went until I saw him on standing outside my side of the car. Startled, I tried to push the lock down but missed. The door swung open and he was next to me. I wanted so badly to hate him, but I couldn’t. I felt his hand quickly move to my seatbelt and force it to release. Fear mounted heavy in my chest. He pushed his body into the car, pinning me down in the seat. His upper body was pressing so strong against me. He lifted my legs out and pulled me outside the car. I didn’t want to stop him … deep down I wanted this. I wanted him to fight hard for me. I wanted to see if he was as honorable as he claimed to be. His hands cupped my jaw, holding my head still, making sure I was looking him in the eyes as he spoke.
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