by Gia Riley
“I remember.”
He pulls me closer, until I’m sitting next to him. With both of my hands in his, and the twisty tie wrapped around my finger, he says, “Here I am, Kinsley. I’m here.”
I bite the inside of my lip, praying I can get through this without crying. Becca knows better than anyone how much I crushed on him. He was always the slightly older boy who came and went with Wyatt. The one who treated me like a little sister until we were both old enough to understand what it was we were capable of feeling. I figured it out a lot sooner than Carson did. Only I gave it up when Rhett came along. I had to.
It kills me to tell him no. He’s Carson—but he’s not my Carson anymore.
He figures out my answer before I even get around to telling him. And it hurts even more than I thought it would. “I missed my shot, didn’t I?”
I nod my head, still unable to tell him, no. It’s slowly become my least favorite word in the dictionary.
He runs his hands through his hair, completely defeated. He’s a good guy—one that deserves a girl who will fall for him the way I’ve fallen for Rhett. “I knew you liked me and I missed it.”
“I’m sorry, Carson.”
“I saw it in your eyes every time I was with Wyatt. I saw the way you looked at me, Kinsley. And I loved it.”
He loved it? But he never once gave me a clue he did. “Why are you telling me now? What took you so long?” I gave him that silly ring eight years ago. Only it wasn’t silly to me then, and it’s still not silly to me now.
“I waited because I didn’t think you were ready. I always thought once you were finished high school we’d find our way back to each other. I swore I’d let you have a normal high school experience without worrying about me, but so much changed once your mom died, and then your dad left. I had this insane desire to protect you, and that’s why I’m here, Kins. To keep you safe. But you went and found a replacement, and once I knew about it, I realized waiting wasn’t the right thing to do—I never imagined I’d lose my opportunity entirely.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper again, over and over. “I didn’t know what you wanted.”
“And now that you know, it still doesn’t change anything, does it?”
I shake my head. “I can’t give up on Rhett. I care about you, Carson, I always have. But when I decided to try this with Rhett, I gave him my heart.”
“I was with you when your mom passed, Kinsley. I was with you during the most awful times of your life—every single time you needed someone. I wiped the tears off your face, Kin. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Of course it does. I needed you. You were there for me when my sister was depressed and Wyatt shut us out completley.”
“Then what’s wrong? Why are you choosing him?”
Carson’s right, he was here during most of the bad times, all of the good ones, too. Still, he’s not the one I promised my heart to. Had he told me this a couple weeks ago, there’s no doubt in my mind I would have melted into his arms and never looked back. It would have been a no-brainer.
I trust Carson with my heart.
I care about him with every ounce of my soul.
But I can’t pick him.
It’s like losing someone I love all over again from the simple fact that I’m hurting him. “I’m sorry. I can’t.” I stand up in a rush, desperate to get away from him before I break down completely.
I don’t get far. He reaches out for me, his hands settling on my hips like they belong there. “Carson, please,” I beg.
“Kinsley Grace,” he whispers, his own throat clogged with emotion. “Don’t walk away.”
“I have to, Carson.”
I see the moment he accepts my decision. The moment the warmth disappears from his yes. He puts his mask back on, pretending like none of this ever happened. He drops his hands from my body, and allows me to pass by him.
Only now that he’s allowing me to walk away, I can’t. I simply stand next to him for a couple more seconds, watching as he lies down on the couch, covering his face with his arm. He’s gotten me through so much pain, and now I’m the cause of it.
Finally, I turn to walk away.
“I’ll kill him if he doesn’t treat you right.”
I don’t doubt his threat for a single second.
“Holy mother of all things holy,” Becca says in shock. “I didn’t realize Carson was so intense. I really underestimated him.”
“It was crazy. I still feel terrible.”
“What’d you do with the ring?”
“I put it in my jewelry box next to my mom’s diamond ring.”
Becca starts to speak, but stops. She tries again and nothing comes out. My best friend has never been at a loss for words, yet she’s choosing her next ones wisely. “You’re sure you made the right choice?”
“No. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. All I can do is go with my gut, and I guess if it’s a mistake, then it’s my mistake to make. Even if I did want to be with Carson, I would never be able to break up with Rhett. I can’t hurt him like that—not when he makes me so happy.”
“You also can’t stay with him because you’re worried about hurting his feelings.”
“No, Becca. That’s what I said, but it’s not like that. When I was with Rhett this afternoon, I wasn’t thinking about Carson or wondering what it would be like to be kissing him instead. It was all Rhett. The entire time.”
“You also didn’t know Carson wanted you, either.”
“You’re not helping, Becca.”
“I’m sorry, but just think it over. You’ll be with Rhett tonight. Worry about the rest tomorrow. You’ll figure it out.”
I smile at her, wanting her to desperately take her own advice. She’s in her own mess with Jake and my brother. She catches on to what I’m thinking, holding her hands up in surrender. “Point made, Kins.”
Rhett and Jake walk out of the locker room, side by side, saving us from the rest of this conversation. I’m ready to have some fun.
“You ready, Sunny?”
“Yep.”
Jake takes Becca’s hand, leading her to his car. She glances at me over her shoulder, smiling when she sees Rhett with his arm around me. This is right. I know it is. If Carson was meant for me, we would have known sooner. Right?
KINSLEY’S QUIET ON the drive to Jake’s place. I try to scoot her closer to the middle of the truck, and she finally takes her seatbelt off, and buckles into the middle seat instead. “You okay?”
She leans her head against my shoulder and nuzzles against me. I feel her nodding her head, but she’s still not saying anything. “What’s wrong, Sunny?”
“Nothing. I’m good. Just glad to be with you again.”
I like her answer, but something tells me there’s more to it than missing me. Then again when we pull into the grassy field next to Jake’s barn, and the party is already in full swing, I can see why she might be a little nervous about coming here.
I’ve been to every single football party for the last three years, but this one already has more people at it than I’ve ever seen. Between the size of the property, and the number of people walking around, it looks more like spring break gone country.
Kinsley’s staring through the windshield with wide eyes. I can guarantee she’s never been to a field party before—maybe not even a high school party.
“Rhett, I think the entire school is here. I wasn’t expecting so many people.”
I kiss the top of her head, the need to reassure her before she changes her mind about being here, my only concern. Kinsley’s not used to all this. For me, a crowd of a couple hundred is the norm, but for her, it’s just a lot of eyes prodding into her personal space. “Jake’s place always draws a big crowd, but this might be the biggest party he’s ever had.”
“If you say so,” she says, as she continues to pull on the sleeves of the shirt she’s wearing under my jersey. I love that she put a layer under my jersey instead of over it when she went to the
game. She’s as proud to wear my number as I am to have it on her.
I know just the thing to settle her nerves. At least it always settles mine. “Come on, Sunny. Let’s have a little fun.”
She lets me wrap my arms around her, shivering as soon as I touch her. It’s a little cooler than when the game ended, but from the way she’s trembling, you’d think this was a cold winter night. “I’ve got you,” I tell her, as I help her climb out of my truck and set her on the ground in front of me.
Kinsley gives me a sweet smile, the one that’s reserved specifically for me. I pull her into my side, tucking my hand in the back pocket of her jeans. Each step she takes, I feel the curve of her moving up and down. She doesn’t seem to mind, and I can’t help myself. When I’m around her, I have to touch her.
I feel her tense the closer we get to the crowd of people. “Rhett,” she whispers. “People are staring.”
I peer down at her, our height difference making her seem extra small tonight. “That’s because you’re so pretty.”
The blush that spreads from her cheeks all the way down her neck only adds to her appeal. She’s not strutting around the party like she owns the place, or acting like people should feel privileged to be in her presence. No, my girl might be a little timid at times, but she’s as welcoming as they come once you crack her protective shell. They’ll all see what I see soon enough. Even if I don’t want to share.
“Rhett, it’s about time. Thought you bailed.”
I glance at my watch. “The game’s only been over for like forty minutes, Jake.”
“Then you’re thirty minutes late. I’ll spare you the ten for a shower because your ass stank. And where’s your cup?”
I roll my eyes, not even bothering to argue with him. He’s already had a couple, I can tell. When Jake drinks, he’s even more illogical than he usually is—and it’s hilarious to watch.
Becca’s at his side, sipping from a Solo cup, too. I wouldn’t have pegged her for a beer drinker, then again, I already picture her as the doctor she plans on becoming. And to me, most doctors are a little uptight. At least the ones I’ve worked with every time I’ve gotten injured playing football.
I nudge Kinsley. “Do you want a drink?”
She shakes her head, “I don’t think I should.”
I pull my hand out of her pocket, already mourning the loss. Instead, I hold her hand, rubbing my thumb across the soft skin of her wrist. “I don’t mean alcohol. There’s soda and water.”
“I’m okay, but if you want something, I don’t mind. Not that you need my permission or anything.”
She’s cute when she’s second guessing herself, but I wish she wouldn’t do it. If she doesn’t want me to drink, I want to know that. I want to know her opinions, her thoughts—everything. “I’m fine without it,” I tell her.
Grayson stands up from his spot around the fire with a piece of hay sticking out of his mouth. He’s a spoiled rich kid with a Mercedes and a trust fund. He’s anything but a farmer. Despite looking like an idiot, he walks closer to us with complete confidence, shuffling a football back and forth between his hands like he didn’t get enough of it during the game. “You always get the pretty ones, Rhett. What’s your secret?”
“Not a clue, Gray, but this one’s special.”
I worry I embarrassed Kinsley, but when I look at her, her eyes shine. She surprises me when she stands on her tip-toes, pulling my face toward hers as her back arches to meet me. In front of everyone, she plants a scorching kiss on my lips that I deepen the first chance I get.
Our first kiss was over before it really started, but ever since our second kiss, she can’t seem to get enough. Then again, neither can I. I could kiss her all night and never get tired of it.
“Get a room!” Jake yells, as he hoists his cup in the air. He’s definitely on his way to drunk. Becca reaches for his hand, setting the cup on the ground in front of him before he spills it all over her. Normally, if someone took Jake’s cup from him, he’d probably have something to say. Since it’s Becca, he only smiles, taking the opportunity to pull her closer to him.
I wouldn’t have coupled them up, but the more I think about it, Becca’s the kind of girl to tame a wild soul like Jake. He’s a free spirit, often loud, and always obnoxious, but she’s buying what he’s selling, despite him being a total nut job.
Kinsley laughs at him when he leans forward to kiss Becca and falls off the bale of hay he’s sitting on. It gives me an idea—something we both could use a little bit of. Time alone and some peace and quiet. “Will you take a walk with me, Sunny?”
“Sure.”
We walk hand in hand the way we came, until we hit the rest of the crowd gathered around the keg. Grayson’s dad owns one of the largest beer distributors in the area. He snags free beer for almost every party. Normally, I’d have a cup in my hand, but tonight, all I need is Kinsley.
Once we weave our way though the crowd, the light from the cars lining the field slowly fades. She holds my hand a little tighter, no doubt trying to figure out why I’m walking her into a field of darkness.
“Rhett, where are we going? It’s pitch black over here.”
“Don’t let go of my hand. I know my way around.” I push open the door to the barn, slipping us inside completely unnoticed.
“Are we allowed to be in here?” she questions.
“I am, but I don’t know about you,” I joke. “You might get thrown off the property.”
“That’s reassuring. What are we doing in here, anyway?”
“I’m kidding, Kinsley. I want to show you something.”
I lead her across the hay covered floors, and she yelps a few times when the straw pokes through her jeans, but I keep a tight hold on her, not stopping until we’re in front of the last stall in the barn. I know what I’m looking at, and I can tell she doesn’t have a clue.
Letting go of her hand, she latches onto my shirt, still unsure of what we’re doing in here. I pull out my cell phone, using the flashlight app to light up the space. Shining it over the wooden stall door, I hear the moment she recognizes what’s in front of her.
Instantly, she stands a little taller, reaching her hand out. “It’s so cute, Rhett. Is it a boy or a girl?”
I shine the light to the banner hanging above her stall. “It’s a girl. Her name’s Dawn to Dark.”
She stares at the foal in front of us, watching as she comes closer to where we’re standing. “Dawn to Dark,” she repeats. “That’s really pretty.”
“She’s like the sunshine—sunrise to sunset,” I tell her.
And then it hits her. She figures it out all on her own. “Just like me,” she whispers, as I run my fingertips up and down her back. “It’s perfect. Who named her?”
This next part has the potential to freak her out, but I tell her anyway. “I named her.”
Her head whips toward me as soon as the words leave my mouth. “You named her? Jake’s parents let you do that?”
“They don’t own her. I do.”
She blinks a couple times, seeming shocked that I’d have a horse. Then again, I don’t exactly go around talking about it. My close friends know we have a stable on the outskirts of town, but I’ve never taken anyone there before. “I can’t believe you have a horse.”
“Other than Jake, you’re the only one who knows about her. My dad trains horses part-time, actually. She was sort of a gift.”
“Why’s she here if she’s yours?”
“I’m fixing up her stall in my dad’s stable. Some of the wood was rotting and needed replaced. She’ll be back with the rest of the horses as soon as the work is done.”
“That’s so cool, Rhett. Do you have any idea how much I love horses? I used to ride when I was little.” I open the stall door, letting Kinsley inside to get a better look at her. She reaches out her hand, and Dawn, as I call her for short, sticks her nose right in her palm. “That tickles.”
“You can ride her when she’s a little bigger. Dad has
others we can ride until then if you want to ride with me sometime.”
“Really? I would love that. I had to give it up when Mom got sick. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until you brought me in here.” She leans forward and presses a kiss to Dawn’s long snout. Already, they’ve bonded. “I always thought your dad was in business. I had no idea he worked with horses.”
“He is in business.”
“No, I pictured him selling real estate or working for a bank—something like that.”
I can see how she would think that. He definitely looks the part. “He oversees the business side of the stable. He trains when he can. Horses have always been his passion. Now he’s trying to pass it on to me.”
“The entire business? Or just her?”
Dawn snorts out her nose, being playful with Kinsley. “I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of it. He told me the next horse was mine, and here she is. She’s a thoroughbred. She’ll race when she’s old enough.”
“I want to see her again,” she says, as she runs her hand down the side of her mane. “Why’d you pick Dawn to Dark? I get the meaning of her name, but why did you name her after the sunshine, too?”
My guess is, she already has her suspicions, but she’s trying to ask an honest question, so I’ll give her an honest answer. “I named her after you, Sunny. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get you to date me, especially with Wyatt being your brother, but at least I’d have the horse to remind me of you.”
Kinsley steps away from Dawn, staring up at me. I shine my light on her face, and I don’t see any trace that she’s scared. All I see is my girl, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Nobody’s ever done something like this for me. Thank you, Rhett.”
“It’s not too much?”
She shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “No. It’s not too much.”
“You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that. I was nervous to tell you.”
“I didn’t think Rhett Taylor got nervous,” she says, playfully.