by Gia Riley
“When it comes to you, I’m a little bit of everything. I’ve never felt this way before, Kinsley. I can’t even describe it, but it’s like nothing can go wrong. That no matter what happens, I’ll still be smiling because I have you to look forward to. That probably makes me sound like a pussy.”
She swallows, her hand reaching for mine. “No it doesn’t. It makes you real. Every time I’m with you, Rhett, I don’t want it to end. I think about you all day long.”
I wrap her arms around my neck, forcing her to move closer to me. “Good. That’s how I want it. I want to be on your mind. Then you can’t forget me.”
We sway from side to side like we’re slow dancing, but the only music I hear is my heartbeat thumping wildly. I feel hers beating just as strongly against my chest.
“I’ll never forget you—no matter what.” She pauses for a moment, her forehead resting against me, just below my chin. Then, she raises her beautiful golden eyes, and my heart literally skips a beat. I feel the second it happens.
“What is it?”
I’m positive she’s about to lay something big on me, but she stalls, and then she changes her mind. “Nothing. How long have you had her?”
“Almost two months.”
“Two months,” she whispers. “Since July?”
“I just freaked you out, didn’t I?” I told her I’ve wanted her for a long time. Maybe now she’ll be able to see I wasn’t kidding. I did get Dawn to Dark in July. Summer was halfway over, football was about to officially begin, even though we were already working out all summer long, and all I could think about was going back to school and seeing Kinsley again.
“Sunny,” I whisper. “Say something.”
When she doesn’t immediately respond, I pull away from her, leading her out of the stall. I close the door behind us, but Kinsley climbs up onto the rails of the wall separating Dawn’s stall from the one beside her. I give her a minute to herself, not saying another word until she’s ready to talk. But I don’t move away from her—I can’t.
Holding onto her waist from behind, so she doesn’t fall, I let her watch Dawn. There’s so much I want to say to her—so many words I want to hear her say in return, but I just rest my chin on her shoulder and wait. I wait for her to be okay with my choices.
“I want to watch her a little more,” she says, with no inkling of how she’s feeling.
It makes me nervous that I’m not going to like what she says when she does speak, so I let go of her waist, moving away from her entirely. She glances over her shoulder to see where I’m going, but doesn’t get down.
I sit down on a fresh pile of hay, close enough so I can still see her profile from where I’m lying. But as I sit here in the dark, watching her, my eyes grow heavy. Eventually I close them, but even then, all I see is her.
I’m on the verge of passing out completely when the hay next to me rustles, reminding me we have some unfinished business. “Open your eyes, Rhett.” Kinsley’s voice is small, hesitant almost. All I can hear is her breathing mixed with some nervousness.
I turn my head toward her. Normally, she’s pretty easy to read, but right now, I can’t tell what she’s thinking. Whatever it is, I want her to open up to me. “I should have asked you before I named the horse.”
She traces the logo on my shirt with her finger, shaking her head in disagreement. “The horse is perfect. I love her name, but it’s not even about the horse—not really, anyway.”
“You’re not going to run?”
“I’m still here aren’t I?” She tucks her hair behind her ear, refusing to hide behind it like I’ve seen her do before. She’s letting me in.
“You are, but I would have gone after you if you weren’t. I’d fight for you if I had to, Sunny.”
She gives me a shy smile before lying down next to me on top of the hay. I’m comforted by the fact that she needs to be close to me. Her head finds the crook of my arm, and her hand settles on top of my chest. I’ve never felt more at peace than I do with her wrapped around me. This is what I was waiting for—and damn, it was worth the wait.
“You’re my favorite escape, Rhett.”
“What do you mean?”
“I get caught up being an adult sometimes, always worrying like a parent would, since I don’t have any, but you make me feel like a teenager again. I thought those days were over for me.”
“I like who you are, Sunny. You are grown up for your age, but it’s not a bad thing. You’ve adjusted. Nobody can blame you for that.”
“Thank you. Your opinion means the most.”
“Why?”
“Because I sorta kinda like you.”
“Only sorta kinda? I’m going to have to step up my game then.” She giggles in my arms, and I pull her on top of me, our bodies completely flush against one another. “Tonight has been crazy stupid.”
Her breath tickles my neck when she responds, “Is that good or bad?”
I can’t help but laugh. Nothing about tonight has been bad. “It’s good. Really good.”
She snuggles against me, and I wrap my arms tighter around her. “What was it like being on the field? I want to hear your side of it. I know what I saw was pretty amazing.”
“It probably sounds ridiculous, but the game was so much better with you in the stands watching me. The plays were working, just like they did in practice, I scored a shit-ton, and you were wearing my number. It was insane.”
“That does sound crazy stupid.”
“No, it was crazy stupid because I knew you saw it all. That’s what made me feel like a rockstar. Everyone else faded into the background.”
“You don’t have to impress me, Rhett. Remember, we agreed this isn’t about the guy on the field—even though he’s really hot.”
Those two sentences slice through me. She gets it. She sees both sides of me. “And that’s exactly how I want it, but it wasn’t the game that made tonight perfect. It was you, Sunny.”
“Me?”
I have to make her understand what she means to me. She deserves to hear how needed she is—especially in my world. “Nobody else has a clue I sleep on a bed that looks like a bird nest, that I own a horse I named after a girl I was crushing on, or how much I love photography. Everyone at school thinks they have me figured out—that all I care about is football and being popular.”
Before I can say another word, she lifts her head from my chest, her brow furrowed. “They couldn’t be more wrong if they tried, Rhett. You’ll laugh, but I always felt like there was something you were hiding. As soon I saw you at school, in the darkroom, I was determined to find out what made you tick.”
“Really?” I had no idea she even thought about me let alone wanted to dig deeper into my world.
She nods her head. “Really. You were never an asshole or arrogant, but there was a time I wouldn’t have considered you approachable. Even on the first day, in the darkroom, a part of me still felt that way. But you treat others with respect no matter who they are—even the nerds and misfits who don’t fit into any group at school. They aren’t invisible to you. You’ve made me feel welcome, and I won’t forget that.”
Listening to her perception of me, blows me away. The way she’s noticed little details, or subtle changes I’ve been working on, even surprises me. “Sunny, we’re still getting to know each other, but already, you know more about me than anyone else. My own parents don’t even know everything about me. Like everyone else, they only see the athlete most of the time. Whether I play another down of football or not, I don’t want that to be what I’m remembered for. Because in the end, it’s just a game.”
“You’re talented, Rhett. You should use football to get you to where you want to be. Think of the free ride to college—all the experiences you could have simply because you’re better than ninety percent of other kids your age. You’d be debt free once you graduate and free to live life however you wanted.”
I can’t help my smile. She’s in parent mode and doesn’t even realize i
t. “That sounds like something my guidance counselor told me.”
She moves away, like she’s going to get up, but I pull her back to me. “I wasn’t insulting you. It’s good advice.”
Looking determined as ever, she nods her head. “Damn right it is.”
Now we’re both laughing, and the friction she’s creating, almost has my eyes rolling back in my head. Focus, Rhett. “I just want you to live it up this year. These are supposed to be the best years of our lives. Ones we’re going to look back on when we’re older and laugh about. We owe it to our forty-year-old selves to be complete assholes for a few months.”
She’s quiet for a few seconds, but then says, “Maybe that should be my mission this year. Balls to the walls while I can.”
“Balls to the walls. I like the sound of that. Do I get to help you?”
“Yes.” She leans down to press a soft kiss to my cheek. “You have a little freckle right there. I like kissing it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, but I’ll need you to force me to live in the moment—to make sure I’m not acting like a boring parent. Think you can do that?”
This will be fun. There’s so much I can show her, teach her, have her experience. “I know I can.”
“Good. I’ll hold you to it.”
I exhale and once again, I’m at peace with the girl in my arms. “You have no idea how refreshing you are, Sunny. I can’t do the superficial bullshit anymore. All I want is to be me—whether the rest of the school likes it or not. I’m having fun again. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve said that?”
“I guess I thought since you were so popular you had everything you wanted. I didn’t get it until now.”
“I have everything I want now.” I squeeze her a little tighter so she knows I’m talking about her. Then, I laugh, thinking of my dad’s face when I introduced her to him earlier tonight. “My dad likes you.”
She giggles. “I wasn’t expecting him to hug me the way he did. If I’m being honest though, your mom made me a little nervous.”
My mom has always had my back. She’s fought battles for me more times than I can count, even getting me out of a couple messy situations where it was clear I was in the wrong. But her little boy can do no wrong in her eyes. Mistakes and all, she’s still my number one fan. “That’s because she’s overprotective. I’m not sure that will ever change, but she’ll love you once you get to know her.”
Kinsley doesn’t look as convinced as I am about it. “Don’t worry. As long as I’m happy, she’s usually happy, too.”
“Even with my background? I mean, I’ve never been to a country club—I work at a diner.”
This is where she sells herself short. She’s so many things besides being a waitress. “Sunny, you work harder than most kids our age. She’s not going to fault you for your job. Plus, she’s going to flip when she finds out you want to be a designer.”
“I enjoy interior design like she does, but I want to design clothing. It’s not the same thing.”
“Doesn’t matter. You both have the same creative itch. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a match made in heaven.”
“I hope you’re right,” she responds, skeptically.
“I was right about you. Wasn’t I?”
“Rhett, honestly, I don’t know what you think. I mean, you told me a lot tonight, and that’s helped me get inside your head a little.”
I roll on my side, laying her gently next to me. “I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. I also think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen—inside and out.”
She picks at a piece of hay in front of her. “Wow. You’ve gone out with a lot of girls, are you sure about that?”
I don’t like the way she compares herself to my past girlfriends. When I’m with her, and even when I’m not, I don’t think about them. I don’t picture what it would be like to be with any of them a second time—I just don’t. The only girl I see myself with is Kinsley. “There wouldn’t have been any other girls if I had you first, Sunny.”
“You mean that, don’t you?” It’s a question, yet needed validation, at the same time.
I scoot closer to her, placing a kiss to her hair line, right at her temple. “You’re not like the other ones. I need you to believe me.”
“How long, Rhett?” She questions.
I’m not exactly sure what she’s asking, but I assume she wants to know how long I’ve wanted her. How long I’ve had my eye on her, waiting for her brother to go away to college. “Way too long.”
“How long?” She says again, stressing the point.
“I remember when we went on a school trip to the capitol building for government class. She made us sit in alphabetical order on the bus, who even does that? Anyway, I don’t know if you remember or not, but we were only a few seats apart, and you were sitting next to Grayson. I was beyond jealous. That might have been the first time I felt possessive of you.”
“That was the beginning of our eleventh grade year, Rhett. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Besides your brother, I guess I was scared you wouldn’t want to waste your time on me. You were smart, really focused, and you didn’t get caught up in the drama. There’s always drama in my world. It was easier to imagine being with you, than to face rejection.”
She giggles, even snorts once. “What? That is the most ridiculous thought process I have ever heard in my life, Rhett.”
“How so?”
“I didn’t exactly have any other offers coming in. Chances are, I wouldn’t have said no to you—not that anyone ever turns you down in the first place.”
“You say that, but we’re in a different place now than we were then. Just about anything could have made you happy—we were barely sixteen-years-old.”
“True, but I’m not that much different than I was then—except for being a year older and a little taller. What about you?”
I leave out the fact that her body is banging—because it is. But I don’t want her to think I’m only after one thing. Yet I lean into her anyway, biting her bottom lip. “I just want you, Sunny.”
She pushes me off her, and rolls me onto my back. Hovering over me, she straddles my hips. “Why did we waste so much time?”
“It wasn’t our time. We weren’t ready for this.”
“And we are now?”
I nod my head the best I can while laying her down on the ground. She feels amazing on top of me, and I want nothing more than to pull her close—so I do. When her head is resting on my chest, and her body is flush with mine again, I wrap my arms around her, and breathe her in. With complete confidence, I whisper, “We’re ready, Sunny. Balls to the walls, remember?”
I LIFT MY head from the warm chest I’m resting on, looking around in the darkness. Rhett’s asleep underneath me, his eyelashes resting peacefully on his cheeks. Digging my phone out of my back pocket, I try not to move too much, but I need to see what time it is.
When the light flicks on, I panic when it’s almost three in the morning. We’ve been in the barn for over four hours. I don’t have a curfew, but I’ve never stayed out this late before. It’s one of the reasons I have almost ten missed calls and texts from Carson—even one from my sister at work asking where I am.
I nudge Rhett but he doesn’t budge. After his game on top of a long day at school, he’s exhausted. “Rhett,” I whisper. “Wake up.” He doesn’t make any attempt to move until I try to climb off him.
“Where you going, Sunny-girl?” his says, his voice groggy from sleep.
“It’s so late, we have to leave. It’s three in the morning.”
He rubs his eyes, yawning a couple times as he wakes up. “It’s really three in the morning?”
“Yeah, I have to get home. Can you take me?”
He doesn’t seem worried about the time, even chuckling. “Well, I’m not going to leave you here,” he jokes. But his expression changes when he glances at his own phone, checking his messages.
; “What is it?” I ask, concerned he’s in a lot of trouble for being out so late or early depending how you look at it.
“My mom’s a little pissed.”
The last thing I want is for his family to hate me before they have a chance to get to know me. “I knew this was a bad idea coming here.”
I move to stand up, but Rhett pulls me back down on top of him. “We’re not leaving until you kiss me.”
“Really? We’re already in trouble, and you want to make out?”
“What’s five more minutes? Plus, I was really comfortable. I’d sleep so much better if you were with me every night.”
I laugh at him. There’s no way he’s comfortable with my hundred and some odd pounds on top of him for the last couple of hours. “You’re lying, but I’ll kiss you anyway.”
He places a hand on each side of my face, cupping the curve of my jaw like I might break if he’s not careful. The kiss doesn’t start out slow like it usually does. No, this time Rhett’s all in, his mouth kissing mine like he’s starving for me.
His hands move from my face to my back where he tickles the skin peeking out from under the hem of the jersey I’m wearing. I can’t get close enough to him, but as much as I want to explore his body more, I’m not ready for that yet. At least I don’t think I am—especially in the middle of a smelly barn. “Rhett, we need to stop.”
He groans like it’s painful to break away from me, but he stops when I ask him to, never once hinting that he’s disappointed, even if he is a little frustrated we have to get up. “You’re right, come on. I’ll take you home.”
“I’m sorry I had to wake you up.”
He brushes the hay off his clothing, some still sticking to him no matter how hard he tries to shake it off. “Na, don’t be sorry. I don’t really want my girl sleeping in a barn anyway.”
I smile, my thoughts going back to his bedroom and our game of Jeopardy. “There’s always the nest.”
“You’re the only girl that’s ever been inside my nest.” He picks a couple pieces of hay out of my hair, his eyes never straying far from my own. Knowing how much he wants me, only makes me want him that much more. “I’d do anything to have you back in my bed, Sunny.”