by Leo Romero
“I’m not privy to the name of every damn creature loitering in the Underworld. How could I keep up with it all? Besides, do you really think I give two hoots about the name of a rock troll?”
I flipped a hand on the air. “Ah, it doesn’t matter. We’ll go ask him what his name is. How do we get to Razor Bridge?”
“It is a bridge deep in the Cave of Madness.”
“And how do we get to the Cave of Madness?”
“You must pass through the Valley of Lunacy.”
I rubbed my head. “And where is the Valley of Lunacy?”
“Beyond the Swamp of Psychosis.”
“Oh for crying out loud!”
“What is it with these ‘of’ names in the parallel planes?” Zane asked.
“It is of no matter, Stone,” Bracken declared. “You will not be going to such harsh territory with my daughter.”
Aurora shook her head. “Oh here we go again...” She stepped forward. “Father, I will go where I please. If Gabe needs my help, then he’ll have it.”
“It’s all right, Aurora,” I said. “Maybe your dad is right. I better go alone. Sounds dangerous.”
“What isn’t dangerous these days?” she retorted. She turned to Bracken. “Father, I’ve survived a riot on the Netherworld Strip, ridden a flying horse, traversed the Forest of Death—all right, that one was with the help of a forest giant who blew us out of the palm of his hand—and escaped the vicious attacks of griffins and wyverns.”
Bracken recoiled in shock. “What?” he bellowed, his irate stare fixed on me.
I gulped. “Did you have to tell him all that?” I asked Aurora out of the side of my mouth.
“What have you been subjecting my daughter to?” Bracken growled at me, the veins in his white neck popping out.
I gave him an innocent look. “Me? I—”
“That’s the life I lead, Father,” Aurora interjected. “It’s the price of being the Dark Bearer. A burden I’ll have to accept. Though if I’m being honest, I actually quite like the adrenaline rush of it all. It’s pretty exhilarating.” Her eyes rolled with giddiness as she spoke, a dreamy smile on her lips.
Oh man, I’ve created an adrenaline junkie. Next thing I know, she’ll be skydiving over the Himalayas. If not something worse!
She refocused on her irate father. “There’s something bad going on in the Overworld and it’s because of the Dark Bearer. Because of me. Half-angels are dying and it’s partly my fault. My heart is telling me I have to put things right. And if that means going to this Cave of Lunacy—”
“Madness,” Zane softly interjected.
Aurora scowled at him. “Whatever. It’s all the same.” She turned to Bracken, continuing, “—This Cave of Madness to help Gabe and to put things right again, then so be it. I’ll be a better person for it.”
“You are heir to this throne!” Bracken said, pointing between his legs.
“And what kind of queen would I make if I hid when I should be fighting for justice?” she snapped back.
I raised my eyebrows in pleasant surprise. Go, A!
“I refuse to be a cowardly queen. I refuse my name to be soiled. And your name too.”
“You’re a stubborn, insolent—”
“Looks like I take after my father then, doesn’t it?”
I stifled a laugh.
Bracken’s back bristled.
Aurora crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m going with Gabe to the Cave of Chaos.”
“Insanity,” I corrected.
“Madness,” Zane corrected me.
“I’m going there!” Aurora said, jabbing her chest with her thumb. “Gabe will protect me.”
My face pinched. “I will?”
“Yes, and I’ll protect him. We’ll all protect each other like we’ve done so far. Now, tell us how to begin our journey.”
Bracken gazed down at her. “You won’t give in until you get your way, will you?”
Aurora shook her head. “No.”
Visions of me arguing with Lucy trying to get her own way flashed in my mind. But those arguments were usually about her wanting a necklace, a party, or a horse, not whether she should embark on a perilous journey to help save the world. Man, I thought I had problems as a father; Bracken’s daughter was dangerous, with a capital ‘danger’.
Bracken grumbled under his breath. “So be it. I can create a portal to take you past the swamp and valley to the cave itself, but I cannot get you inside to the bridge as the cave had its dimensional doorways to the living planes blocked off as it was a source of terror.”
“Of course it is,” I said, lamenting the fact. “Why wouldn’t it be?” I shook my head. “Is there a doorway to the Void?”
Bracken rubbed his chin. “I believe so. Doorways between the Void and the cave are no threat to anyone on the outside. Although it’s what’s inside that concerns me.”
“What’s in there, Father?” Aurora asked.
“It was home to a bevy of banshees. They skulk in the darkness, screeching at anyone foolish enough to venture in there.”
“Okay, screamers,” said Aurora. “What else?”
Bracken folded his arms across his chest. “By all accounts, there are giant spiders.”
I gulped. “Spiders?”
Bracken grinned, showing me his green teeth. “Scared, are we?”
“What, of spiders?” I asked in a cracked voice, taking edgy glances at the others. “No way!” Who was I kidding? Next to cockroaches, spiders were the worst thing. Something crawled over my grave and I shuddered.
“Okay, crawlers,” Aurora said. “Anything else?”
Bracken rubbed his chin. “Hmm, a vicious band of feral hobgoblins have made camp there. You’ll know them by their sigil. An orc skull atop a battle-axe.”
“Fighters,” I said with a sigh.
“Razor Bridge runs over a giant pit of rocks. That is what attracted all the stonecrushers at one time. But by all accounts, they have perished and only one troll remains.”
“And he’s about to get some visitors,” I said. “So, going to give us directions?”
Bracken muttered to himself before answering. “I can transport you outside the cave. From there you are alone. And be warned, if anything happens—”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. I’m a dead man if any harm comes to Aurora. Just open the damn portal, Bracken.”
Bracken scowled at me and waved his hands on the air in expert precision. He effortlessly opened up a tear. Visible through it was the side of a mountain. At the base was a cave shaped like a gaping skull mouth. Above it, two eye sockets had been carved into the rock.
“I wish I could open portals like that,” Aurora said, her eyes brimming with awe.
“So do I,” I replied.
“Take care!” Bracken said.
“Be back in a jiffy,” I said as I led the other two toward the portal.
*****
The portal closed behind us and we found ourselves in a faraway part of the Chicago Underworld that was like a scene Lord of the Rings. A vast valley stretched away into the distance, encircled by a jagged row of mountains. They dominated a hazy, pinky-purple skyline like giant fangs. The valley floor was scorched and blackened, barren and forsaken. To our left, a brooding castle was embedded in the edge of the valley, appearing to grow out of the rock. What lived in there was anyone’s guess. The odd light burned in the highest windows, and images of Dracula flittered through my mind. The desolate remnants of an ancient tree stood opposite the castle, jutting out of the valley wall, its roots exposed, its branches twining amongst themselves almost as if the tree was trying to fight itself. I was glad we didn’t have to traverse all the way here. The air smelled of death and musk like an ancient crypt. It was a lost world, a part of the Underworld that hadn’t been visited in who knew how long?
I turned and faced the Cave of Madness. The skull face that marked the entrance gazed down at us.
“You know, I really don’t want to go in th
ere,” said Zane.
“I thought you guys loved skulls and death,” I said.
“Not when they eat you up.”
“Well, you can wait here while we go in.”
Zane met Aurora’s stare. Doing that must’ve triggered some kind of internal masculinity crisis as he immediately puffed up his chest and straightened his jacket. “Lead on, Mr. Stone.”
“Attaboy!” I said as I stepped up to the mouth of the cave. I breached the threshold and everything went dark and dank. My footfalls echoed all around me like I was in a hollow tube. The walls and ground were a cracked, black rock slicked with dew that glistened pink and green like petrol puddles on city streets. Torches had been placed on the walls at regular intervals, lighting the way.
I moved along and I spotted the sigils etched into the wall next to me. An orc skull with battle-axe. The gang of hobgoblins Bracken mentioned. We’d have to watch out for them. At least they’d been kind enough to light the way for us. I plucked a torch from the wall and told the other two to do the same. You never knew when light and fire could come in handy.
We reached the end of the tunnel where it branched off in two directions. I stopped and looked around. Something carved into the wall caught my eye. More hobgoblin scrawlings; a crude depiction of a chasm complete with bridge running across it. An arrow below it pointed down the right-hand tunnel. Hey, whaddayaknow? The bastards were showing us the way!
“Looks like we take a right,” I said over my shoulder.
“Thank God for hobgoblin maps,” Aurora said in a loud whisper. I couldn’t tell if she was being snarky or not.
I led them through the new tunnel and it felt like we were heading downward. As we delved deeper, the place got danker and colder. I touched the wall and it was slimy and icy to the touch, similar to the texture of seaweed or wet rubber.
We reached the end of the tunnel where it opened up into a larger chamber. Burning torches on the walls lit up old boxes and barrels like it was some kind of store room. More skulls with battle-axe insignias had been scratched into the walls. Looked to me like this was the hobgoblins’ booty haul. We passed through it as fast as we could, heading out through the only exit, which was another tunnel.
We moved deeper into the cave and the tunnels branched off again. The bridge scrawling on the wall told us to keep right. We crept through this new tunnel, which was as cold as a fridge. The sweat on my brow was now like a thin sheet of ice on my forehead. I swiped it away.
“Where the hell’s this bridge?” Aurora asked in a loud whisper.
“Sorry, it must’ve slipped my mind since the last time I was here!” I answered. “Look, the maps are telling us to go this way.” I pointed to the right-hand tunnel. “So that’s where we’ll go.”
“It could be a trap though,” Zane said, looking around him.
“Oh don’t start that crap,” I said. “We need to find this bridge. If the hobgobs say it’s this way, then I’m not about to argue.”
“We’re trusting hobgoblins now?” asked Aurora. I detected slight panic in her voice.
I patted the air ahead of me in a show of calm. “Look. Let’s not get all panicky here. We’ll just follow the directions and take it from there. At least we know our way back.”
“That sounds like a solid plan, Mr. Stone,” said Zane.
“Glad you agree.” I turned and entered the tunnel. As we walked through it, a stench of rotten meat filtered through from wherever it led to. My nose twitched.
“Phew, that’s some stink,” said Aurora.
I ignored her and continued down the tunnel like nothing had happened. That smell couldn’t be anything good, but we’d have to face whatever it was. The tunnel opened out into yet another chamber. I came to an abrupt halt, my heart skipping a beat.
There were hobgoblins in there.
Thankfully, they were fast asleep, either slumped over the large oak table off to the left, or slumped back against the wall behind it. Aurora and Zane came rushing in behind me and I wheeled around to face them, my finger up to my lips.
Aurora stared beyond me at the hobgobs and her eyes widened in fear.
“Shh!” I said.
Zane took a peek past us both, his face contorted. He looked from the hobgobs to me. I patted the air ahead of me. As long as we didn’t wake them, we’d be okay. They both got the message. I faced the chamber once more. The hobgobs must’ve been sleeping off the huge feast they’d just enjoyed. That and the booze. Bottles of mead were scattered across the table, some on their sides, mead spilling out over the table surface. In the center of the table were the remains of their feast. Animal bones, chunks of meat, patches of fur. A skull of an unrecognizable beast mottled with bits of flesh sat on a dirty metal platter. The walls behind it were splattered with food and drink, in the corner was what looked like a puddle of vomit.
Looked like we found the dining room.
Aurora covered her nose and mouth with her sleeve. I didn’t blame her.
I gazed at the sleeping hobgobs in disgust. Ugly bastards. They were the result of crossbreeding between orcs and goblins. Now there’s a pleasant image!
They had bald, orcish heads, but warty, goblin skin and skinny limbs. They emanated a swampy stink that was a mix of stagnant pond water and severe body odor. All in all, they were thoroughly unpleasant SOBs. I didn’t wanna hang around. I led the others through the banquet chamber and we tiptoed through there like cat burglars. My heart picked up pace as we moved past the hobgobs. They snored and wheezed, one or two of them mumbling to themselves as they dreamed.
We made it to the other end of the chamber without making any noise, Aurora with her mouth and nose still covered, and dived into the tunnel beyond. About halfway down it and we could relax.
“Ugh, that room was filthy,” Aurora stated, wafting her hand over her face. “I’ve never seen anything so disgusting!”
“Never been to a student dorm, huh?” I said.
“What the hell was that thing they’d eaten?” Zane asked, wiping his clammy face with his handkerchief.
I shrugged. “Who knows? There’s some weird stuff in the Underworld. Could’ve been anything. Come on.” The tunnel ran away into the near distance where it branched off three ways: left, right, and straight ahead. The scrawling on the wall pointing left depicted a fish-like creature at the bottom of a giant pit with its jaws fully open, rows of razor-sharp teeth awaiting the stick figure who’d fallen into the pit and was about to become lunch. So, Jaws was waiting that way.
The right-hand tunnel had a scrawling of lots of heads on spikes. That must have been the way to the trophy room.
And the middle tunnel had our bridge pointing at it. So, middle it was. I hoped it was close by. I was getting the shivers and the deeper we went into that cave, the more angsty I was feeling. We made it about halfway down that tunnel and a cold rush of air breezed past me. It was a constant flow coming from the end of the tunnel, telling me there must have been a large opening beyond. As we neared the exit, what awaited us came into view. The ground ahead had vanished, leaving a massive open chasm that stretched horizontally from wall to wall. A thin, rickety bridge ran over the chasm, leading to an exit beyond, again shaped like a skull. I nodded my head. Razor Bridge. We were finally there.
I went and stood at the edge of the chasm and looked down. The bottom wasn’t as far off as I initially thought, making it more of a pit than a chasm. Sitting on the ground were rocks, some big boulders, others small pebbles. It was like a big rock quarry. I was betting that was where the stonecrushers used to hang out, crushing rocks all day and night. I gazed along the floor of the pit; there wasn’t a troll in sight. In fact, nothing. I hoped our stonecrusher was still alive. My eyes fell on the cave at the far end of the pit and I realized that may well be our friend’s home.
“What now?” asked Aurora as she stared down alongside me.
“We go down there.” I looked around. Someone had kindly put a rope ladder over the edge of the pit. I went a
nd looked down it. It looked sturdy enough. I put my weight on it and it held firm. I started down it, the world turning danker and more echoey. I made it to the bottom and I held up my torch. More stones than I could count stared back at me. I gazed up and the cave roof looked a zillion miles away.
Aurora made it down first and looked around. “Well, I don’t see any trolls.”
I grumbled to myself. Something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. A big boulder was covering most of the entrance to another cave, only a corner of the opening visible. I squinted and had a closer look. Was there something in there?
I stepped over the uneven ground toward the cave, my curiosity piqued.
“Gabe, what are you looking—”
“Who’s there?” came a dumb voice from inside the cave, beyond the boulder, stopping Aurora mid-sentence.
“Mr. Stonecrusher, I presume?” I asked, trying to get a peek beyond that boulder. I could make out an eye in the gloom, but not much else.
“Who’s asking?”
“No need to get aggressive. Just come out here for a minute. We want to talk with you.” I needed him outside so I could bind him to a card in my Deck of Death.
“No. I’ll never come out of cavey. Cavey safe from hairy crawlies.”
“Hairy crawlies?” I echoed.
“I think he means spiders, Gabe,” said Aurora.
“Oh, right. Yeah, I can’t blame you, buddy. I hate those damn things as well.”
“Hairy crawlies come crawling over stoneses. I want to smash stoneses, but hairy crawlies all over stoneses. Hairy crawlies has big fangses. Hurts when hairy crawlies biteses.”
I looked around. “Well, there are no hairy crawlies around now. It’s safe to come out.”
“No. Hairy crawlies will come out of other cavey soon. Not safe.”
“Come on, buddy!” I urged. “There’s nothing here!”
“No. I won’t come out. Not by Perina!”
I met the other’s stares and shrugged.
“Not by what?” asked Zane.
“Perina,” I said.
“What is Perina?”
“Perina is the goddess of magic,” Aurora answered. “She was the first-born of magic and then created this realm, from where all the other magical creatures emerged, or so they believe.”