Desire by Design (Silverweed Falls Book 1)

by Thea Dawson

  “That’s just a few days.”

  “C’mon, you know Lily would love science camp,” Richard pointed out. “She’s going to get bored not doing anything all summer.”

  Celia’s exasperation was compounded by a flash of annoyance mixed with guilt. “Science camp is $600,” she reminded him, trying to keep her tone gentle. “It’s still a bit of a stretch for us.”

  “I’ll pay for it,” he offered promptly.

  “Richard, no—”

  “We’ll call it part of your compensation. I need you on board to do a lot more driving than over the school year, and it’s going to take up more of your time. It’s the least I can do. Lily will love it, Peyton will like having a friend to do it with, you’ll have one less child to look after for a couple of weeks, and I’ll won’t have to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.” He sat back with a satisfied air, as if daring her to find a hole in his plan.

  Celia chewed her lip. He was right—Lily probably would be bored soon and she’d love science camp. She was less sure about Peyton, who, she was sure, would have much preferred something artistic. But she was more concerned about the relative imbalance in her relationship with Richard. She worked only one morning a week at the Co-op now, more for the discount that it gave her than for the actual wages, and was doing steady work for Susan, but she still relied on her income from Richard to some extent. However amazing the sex was, it felt strange to be getting paid by a man she was sleeping with … and with whom the future was still uncertain.

  While she was delighted to have any relationship with him, the strain of keeping it secret from the kids was starting to irk her. On the one hand, she’d regret it if her kids got too attached to Richard and then they broke up. Dealing with her own heartbreak would be bad enough; dealing with theirs would be worse, and she knew he shared the same fear for Peyton. On the other hand, they were grow-ups, for goodness sake, and the fact that they were keeping it secret on top if the fact that he was paying her felt slightly tawdry.

  But he was asking for a fairly significant chunk of her time over the summer, which would mean less time for design work, and she couldn’t really afford to not let him compensate her …

  She was also learning that he enjoyed being generous.

  “Let me think about it,” she finally said.

  He leaned forward, sliding his hand over hers, and gave her the slow, sexy smile that never failed to make the room tilt in the most enticing way. After a quick glance at the yard to make sure the kids were still occupied, she leaned in toward him and their lips met.

  They’d have to arrange another sleepover very soon.

  But they were able to make out for only a couple of minutes before they noticed the children trooping inside and reluctantly broke apart.

  Peyton shoved open the sliding door and came in, followed by Rosie and Lily, who picked Rowan up and lifted him

  “Daddy, Lily and I are building a really cool fairy house. Want to come see it?”

  “I’m helping!” Rosie was outraged at being left out.

  “I would love to have all of you show me the fairy house. I’ll be out in just a minute. I was just talking to Celia about our plans for the summer—

  “Oh!” Peyton squealed. “Can they come to the lake with us? Please, Daddy, please?”

  “Oh …” Richard was clearly unprepared for the request.

  “Pleeeese? I want Lily to watch me swim to the point. It’s so much fun, Lily. There’s a beach and some boats and there’s a dock you can jump off—”

  Richard shook his head. “Again, Peyton, I don’t think you’re ready to swim to the point. And there isn’t really enough room.” He turned apologetically to Celia. “It’s literally just one-room cabin—”

  “Oh, don’t worry—” she started.

  “So? We can all share a room,” Peyton said.

  “Your dad’s right, I do have to work next week.” While the thought of several days alone with Richard in a one-room cabin was enticing, spending it with all four children might be a lot to ask of their fledgling relationship.

  Peyton’s face fell.

  Richard looked at Celia. “Well … You don’t have to work every day, do you? She raised her eyebrows at him. “I mean, maybe you and the kids could just come up for the day? It’s about an hour and half drive.”

  Peyton’s face lit up and she glanced pleadingly at Celia.

  “Please, Mom?” asked Lily.

  “Please?” said Rosie.

  “Peas?” Rowan was not to be left out.

  Celia laughed. “You don’t even know what you’re asking for, Ro.” She gave him a quick tickle while she thought about how she could arrange her schedule. “I think it would work. The easiest day for me would be Wednesday.”

  Richard smiled. “Let’s do Wednesday then. I’ll text you directions.”

  Lily, Peyton and Rosie burst into cheers. Rowan joined in by stomping his feet and shouting.

  “WAIT!” Richard’s voice cut over the noise. “One rule: everyone wears a life jacket at all times.”

  “What about when I swim to the point?” Peyton cut in. “It doesn’t count if I wear a life jacket—”

  “We’ll talk about that later. Right now, I just want everyone to know that everyone wears a life jacket. Do they have life jackets?”

  Celia nodded.

  “Even Rowan has to wear one?” asked Rosie.

  “Especially Rowan. And you. And you and you.” He pointed to each of the kids in turn before getting to Celia. “And … you, if you’re in a boat.”

  Celia nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a very sensible rule,” she agreed. “Okay, my kids, let’s pack up and let Richard and Peyton get on with their evening.

  Richard said good night reluctantly to Celia. As usual, she was surrounded by children and busy getting them all into the car. Another kiss—let alone what he really wanted to do—was out of the question, so he settled for a quick squeeze of her hand.

  “I can’t wait to see you in a bathing suit,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Not that big a deal,” she whispered back. “You’ve seen me in a lot less,”

  “I’ll take you however I can get you,” he growled softly.

  The look in her large blue eyes suggested that she felt the same way, but then she was gone, with a cheery wave and a casual goodnight.

  After dinner, he went over Peyton’s summer schedule with her as they sat at the maple wood table in the kitchen.

  “Why do I have to do so much stuff?” she asked dramatically. “I’m supposed to be on vacation.”

  “Unfortunately, I’m not on vacation, at least not for as long as you,” he explained patiently. “I still have stuff to do for my university job and I have to do work for Susan as well. So I need somewhere to put you.”

  “Why can’t I just hang out with Lily? She gets to just relax.”

  “Because that ends up being more work for Celia, plus you’d probably get bored a lot sooner than you think. Besides, Lily might do science camp too.”

  Peyton looked mildly interested at the thought of camp with Lily, but then her face fell again. “But why do I have to do science camp at all? Why can’t I do theater camp? Or art camp?”

  Richard frowned. Peyton was being unusually argumentative tonight. He’d spent a lot of time researching all the available options for the summer and selecting them based on reputation and schedule. It had taken some juggling to fit it all in and he’d already paid a significant sum in deposits. He couldn’t really expect her to appreciate all that, but he hadn’t anticipated outright resistance.

  “Because the theater camp was at the same time as science camp and art camp starts the week we’ll be at the lake. I can’t change that because Gran and Grampa have rented out the cabin to some other people during most of the summer, and then your uncle gets it with his family.”

  Peyton huffed. “Well, why to do I have to do science camp at all? Science is boring.”

  Richard’s patien
ce started to fray. Peyton was at the age where many girls started to lose interest in science because of classroom biases and social conditioning, and he was anxious to keep her as engaged and knowledgeable in as many branches as possible.

  He tried to keep his voice even and reasonable. “Honey, there are hundreds of careers that use science—doctors, dentists, engineers, astronauts. I’m not saying you have to be one of those things when you grow up, but I want you to have all your options open to you. I know the people who are running this camp. They’ll make it really fun.”

  Peyton gave him a stony look. “Well, I guess if Lily is doing it, it might be okay,” she conceded without enthusiasm.

  24

  Celia maneuvered her car down the dusty dirt road and finally pulled up in front of a cabin. “We’re here!” she announced.

  As if on cue, Peyton came bounding out of the cabin waving at them. Celia put the car in park and opened her door as Richard came out of the cabin behind Peyton. He looked as if he’d just come from a swim. His dark hair was wet and slicked back from his face, and his bare chest glistened slightly. Even in just the few days since she’d last seen him, he’d gotten a good tan. Her heart beat faster at the sight of him. When he caught her eye and winked, she had to pretend to be busy looking for something in her purse in order to hide her blushing face.

  “You made it,” Richard said genially.

  Celia gave up her fraudulent search and smiled. “Your directions were perfect.”

  “Good. Doesn’t always show up in GPS. Let me give you a hand.” He reached for a bag of towels.

  “We brought a cake!” Lily announced. “I made it myself with that book you gave me, and I learned about leavening.”

  “Wonderful!” Richard looked genuinely pleased. “That sounds like the perfect dessert after we have barbecued hot dogs and hamburgers for lunch.”

  “Awesome! My mom never buys hotdogs because she says they’re not healthy.”

  “And she’s right. But it’s okay to eat unhealthy food when you’re on vacation.” He smiled at Celia who rolled her eyes but smiled back.

  Peyton grabbed Lily’s hand. “Come on! I want to show you the dock!”

  “Life jackets!” Richard insisted on seeing all four kids into life jackets before letting any of them out of sight. “You can take these off when you come in the house and when you have lunch. Otherwise, they stay on all the time. Got it?”

  The three girls nodded solemnly then turned and darted off around the house. Celia could see blue water glinting behind it. She scooped up Rowan. “Sorry, Ro. Life jacket or not, I’m going to keep you in sight.”

  “Come on in.” Richard ushered her into the house. “I’ll give you the grand tour, which will take ten seconds, and then we can hit the lake.”

  The cabin was indeed small, but cozy and furnished with rustic charm. Far less grand than Richard’s house, it was exactly what she’d imagined a lakeside cabin would be like. There was a kitchenette, with cupboards, a sink and a small refrigerator, a table with four chairs, and a futon couch, presumably where Peyton slept. Celia averted her eyes from the queen-sized bed in the far corner and was reminded again of Richard’s shirtless state.

  “It’s delightful. Been in your family long?”

  “My parents bought it back in the seventies. They rent it out for most of the summer but they usually spend a couple of weeks here too, and Peyton and I get it once in a while. The only problem with it is …” he dropped his voice and backed her into the corner beside the door, “it’s hard to find any privacy.” He leaned in to give her a searing kiss on the lips.

  Rowan chortled, interrupting the moment.

  Celia laughed. “This guy’s going to be talking soon, and then our secret will be out.”

  “I have a feeling we won’t be able to hide it much longer anyway. These kids are too smart for us.”

  “Well,” she said, changing the subject, “It’s very nice. Thanks for inviting us up. It’s a real treat.”

  Richard stepped back to a respectable distance. “Happy to have you here. I could stay up here all summer, but I think Peyton starts to get a bit bored after a day or two. There aren’t any other kids around. Let me show you the lake.”

  A sliding glass door at the back of the cabin overlooked a newly-built patio with a barbecue, a picnic table, and several deck chairs. A short flight of steps led to a narrow stretch of beach where the girls were splashing ankle deep in the water. Beyond them stretched the blue of the lake, surrounded by green trees. A narrow point curved around from the right. On the far side, Celia could see a handful of other cabins, but Richard’s seemed to be the most isolated.

  “It’s beautiful,” she breathed. “And we couldn’t have asked for better weather.”

  “So let’s not waste it.” Richard smiled at her. “Want to go swimming?”

  They spend the morning splashing in the water. Eventually, Celia had to retire to the protection of the beach umbrella to give Rowan a rest. Rowan dug into the damp sand with a small plastic shovel, a look of profound concentration on his face. Celia settled back into her beach chair and watched Richard toss a beach ball in the water with the girls. Lily sent it sailing over his head and he turned and dove after it, cutting through the water with powerful strokes. Celia watched him retrieve the ball and hurl it lightly at Peyton, who was completely unprepared. It bounced off her forehead and she, Lily, and Rosie shrieked with laughter.

  It was perfect, Celia thought. The handsome, playful father, the laughing children, the beautiful scenery. It was an idyllic family vacation ... except they weren’t a family.

  Despite the beautiful day, the smiling faces, all the good things that had come into their lives along with Richard and Peyton, she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop—the moment that Richard would realize she had more kids than he wanted to deal with, or that she wasn’t educated enough, wasn’t Comfort Class enough, wasn’t intellectual enough for him—and it would all fall apart. When they made love, she had to bite her lip to keep from saying “I love you.” He had never yet said it to her.

  She knew his feelings for her ran deep, but did they run deep enough to compensate for all the emotional baggage they both carried, not to mention the complications of a blended family?

  She smiled ruefully at Rowan and blinked away tears, glad for the sunglasses that covered her eyes.

  “Who’s ready for lunch?” Richard shouted, and was immediately answered with a chorus of “Me!”

  Even Rowan, now covered with muddy sand, looked up hopefully. “Me!” he added, though Celia was quite sure he didn’t know what the question had been.

  She laughed, then took a deep breath and collected herself. “C’mon, Ro. Let’s get you rinsed off a bit first.”

  True to his word, Richard grilled hot dogs and hamburgers, and they ate out on the patio overlooking the water. Lily’s cake, blue and trimmed with white icing waves to represent the lake, was a hit. Richard quizzed her on the chemical properties of leavening and she cheerfully showed off what she’d learned from The Science of Good Cooking.

  After Lily and Peyton had helped clean up the plates, they decided to spend some time drawing at the patio table. “Thank goodness,” Richard murmured to Celia. “I need a break.”

  “You were great with them.”

  “This little guy looks like he might be ready for a nap.” Rowan was nodding in Celia’s arms, clearly fighting to keep his eyes open.

  “Mind if I put him down on the couch?”

  “Go ahead.”

  Celia installed the sleepy Rowan on the futon couch, carefully laying down a towel first in case he was still sandy. As she was stroking his head, the conversation outside drifted through the partly open door.

  “I’m going to be an artist when I grow up,” Peyton announced.

  “Art’s fun, sweetheart, but it’s hard to make a living,” came Richard’s answer.

  Celia rolled her eyes. “She’s nine, for crying out loud,” she mutte
red.

  “Celia does art for a job,” Peyton responded.

  “Celia’s got three jobs, which ought to show you that it’s very difficult being an artist. I don’t want you to have that hard a life.”

  Celia felt a stab of resentment, and again wondered if he continued to pay her out of pity. It irked her that despite all her hard work and slow but steady success as a designer, he might still feel sorry for her. She stood up and made for the door.

  “You never let me do what I want!” Peyton’s voice had taken on a mutinous tone that Celia had heard only rarely from her. “I’m going to be an artist when I grow up! And I’m going to earn lots of money, and you can’t stop me!”

  “Peyton—”

  “Richard, can I talk to you inside?” Celia put as much steel into her voice as she could. He looked at her in surprise, then it seemed to dawn on him that she might have heard him. His expression grew guarded and his voice cold.

  “Celia, I’m talking to my daughter. Can it wait?”

  “No. Now.” She turned and marched back into the house. Somewhat to her surprise, he followed her in and shut the door firmly behind him.

  “What—”

  Celia cut him off, doing her best to keep her voice low and calm. “First of all, if we’re going to have a relationship, you need to stop feeling sorry for me. I’m trying to help you by working for you over the summer, but honestly, that’s time that I could spend looking for more design work, so don’t make me out to be some kind of charity case. Next, you need to stop discouraging Peyton. She’s freaking nine years old, for God’s sake! If she says she wants to be an artist, big deal. Next month she’ll probably want to be a fashion designer or a firefighter. If you keep insisting that she follow in your footsteps, she’s going to hate you by the time she’s fifteen, and if you keep pushing science on her, she’s going to hate that, too.”

  Richard stared down at her, the eyes that had been so warm and full of laughter at lunch time now looking almost frightening. Celia resisted the urge to take a step backward and stood her ground, arms folded across her chest.