by Ami Weaver
If she walked away from Mack, it would be for good. She wasn’t foolish enough to think they could stay in touch. The contact would open old wounds each time. She knew that for a fact. But after she talked to him, would he want to be with her?
* * *
Darcy went out and filled in in one of the warming sheds. She kept the fire going, and the coffee and hot cocoa ready. She answered questions about trees, and directed people to the proper areas for the type of tree they were looking for. At the end of the evening she banked the fire, cleaned the pots, swept the little cabin and set everything up to go the next day.
It was snowing pretty good when she came out, the kind that had been sifting for a few hours and had piled up about three inches. Then Mack came around the curve. He stopped in front of her and cocked an eyebrow. “Want a ride?”
“Sure.” She walked around and climbed onto the ATV, and he executed a three-point turn to head back in. The rough ride jostled them together and she couldn’t even pretend she didn’t mind the press of his arm on hers, even if she couldn’t feel his heat.
“Your aunt and uncle went back to the house already,” Mack said. “He looked happy, Darce. It was a good thing for him to be out here.”
“That’s good.” She brushed the snow off her arms and looked up as Mack pulled her in for a kiss.
“I’ve been waiting for that all evening,” he said, resting his head on hers. She leaned into him, even knowing it wasn’t a good idea. She just couldn’t help it.
“Me, too,” she admitted.
“Come home with me tonight,” he said, then the corner of his mouth quirked up. “I can’t cook you dinner, but I can spring for takeout.”
She should say no. There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea. Too bad she couldn’t remember them at the moment. “That sounds wonderful.”
But the truth was she couldn’t bring herself to stay away. One more night wouldn’t hurt, right? One more night before she had to tell him the truth.
“Excellent. Will you ride with me or bring your car?”
She hesitated, but only for a second. “I’ll follow you.”
They went up to the house and Darcy went to pack a bag while Mack talked to Marla and Joe. She tried not to dwell on the weirdness of it all, but failed. She threw in a change of clothes and her toothbrush, then sat on the bed and took a deep breath.
Things had shifted. How, exactly, she wasn’t sure. But she had the feeling she’d finally reached the point where she couldn’t go back.
And that scared her.
* * *
The snow had picked up and the plows hadn’t been out yet—four inches or so wasn’t much in terms of a northern snowfall—but it was coming down pretty hard and the wind had picked up. She kept her eyes on the taillights of Mack’s truck and both hands on the wheel.
The trip took twenty minutes instead of the usual ten, but she gave a sigh of relief when they parked at his house.
He got out and came over to her. “We can ride together to the diner,” he said.
“Okay.” She gathered her keys and purse and left her bag on the backseat.
His truck was warm and smelled spicy, like him. Wonderful, like him. She buckled in and pulled her gloves off. He put it in Reverse and they drove the few minutes to the diner in silence. The lot was nearly empty, and they hurried in, the snow falling fast and hard.
“What can I get you?” The waitress wasn’t the same one they’d had before. She was older, but friendly.
“Looking to place a take-out order,” Mack said while Darcy scanned the menu quickly.
“Are you closing early?” she asked.
The waitress, whose name tag said Denise, nodded. “Night like this, we don’t get much business.”
They placed their orders and waited for the food. It didn’t take long. Even in the fifteen minutes they’d been inside, there was significant snow to brush off the truck.
He pulled in the driveway next to her car, since with the plows it wasn’t a good idea to park in the street. She opened the back door, got a bunch of snow dumped on her for her efforts and pulled out her bag. Inside she stomped off her feet and laughed. “Wow. It’s quite a night out there.”
He kissed her, a hungry openmouthed kiss that had her dropping her purse on the floor to hang on to him. “Yeah. Hopefully, in here, too.”
She gave him a smile, her body tingling all over.
He built a fire and she set the food out on plates she found in the kitchen. They sat on the couch and ate, the dogs looking on hopefully.
“Wow, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating,” she admitted, reaching for the ketchup for her fries, a treat she almost never had. And the ones from the Town Line Diner were still the best.
“I knew I was starving,” he said cheerfully as he polished off another bite of his burger.
“Your mom not cook for you lately?” she teased, and took another fry. Heaven.
“It’s all good,” he said. “She brought a potpie the other day. It’s in the freezer. It makes her happy and saves me time. Win-win for both of us.”
Darcy didn’t remember her own mother. She’d left not long after Darcy was born and died a few years after that. She’d been raised by her father, and her aunt and uncle. She didn’t think her mother would have been the type to fill her freezer with leftovers. But Marla was. So she didn’t feel left out. But there was the occasional pang of sadness that she’d never know the woman who gave birth to her.
“I can see that” was all she said, and took a bite of her own burger, another splurge. “Mmm. So good. It’ll be so hard—” She stopped, as she’d been about to say when I go back. But she could tell from the way Mack stiffened that he knew what she hadn’t said.
“Hard to what?” His attention was on her now, not on the food.
So he wasn’t going to let her off easy. “To go back to Chicago.”
“Then, why are you going?”
She stared at her burger, so good a moment ago. “Because it’s where my life is.” That was true. But she was starting to worry it wasn’t where her heart was. How did she reconcile those things? Could she?
“Is it?” he murmured. “Darcy. Why did you leave?”
She froze. “You know why I left. After—after everything it was pretty clear we weren’t going to make it.” Which was true, and had played a big role in her leaving. But it wasn’t all of it.
“You didn’t give us a chance,” he said quietly, but there was a hard note in his voice.
She slapped her hand on her chest. “I didn’t?” Then she pointed at him. “You didn’t, Mack. You went to your family and left me alone.”
“You wouldn’t let me in,” he said. “You wouldn’t talk to me or let me see you. You shut me right down.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what I did, Mack. It’s not.”
He looked at her over the plates and stood up. He walked away, down the hall, and she heard him open a door. Should she leave? A glance out the patio doors showed the snow still coming down pretty hard.
Mack came back out in the living room with two boxes stacked in his arms. Darcy put her wineglass down and stood. “What are those?” She asked the question, but she knew the answer already. Mack and Darcy, Christmas was written on the tops in his mother’s neat script.
He set them down carefully and looked at her solemnly. “My mom kept these. She packed it all up. After—after everything.” Her heart started up as he opened the first one. “Look.”
She set the glass down and the liquid sloshed around because her hand was so unsteady. She came over near him and saw ornaments from their first tree. Her breath caught. “Oh. Oh, Mack.”
She touched the glass balls on top. The memories hit her hard, ones she’d tried so hard to keep at bay.
She and Mack choosing these ornaments—none of them particularly special or expensive, but they’d had fun picking them out. That trip had, of course, ended in the bedroom and they’d wound up decorating the little tree in their apartment nearly naked, with Mack constantly touching her pregnant belly. She’d been six months along and had enough of a bump she’d just started wearing maternity clothes. He’d loved her pregnant body.
He’d loved her.
She swallowed. “What do you want to do with them?”
“We can put them on the tree,” he said quietly. “Or we can divide them up and you can take them home.”
Tears blurred her vision. That had been such a magical time. Not that they could ever really re-create it, but maybe they could use it as a new start. For something.
“Let’s put them on the tree,” she said when she found her voice. “They should be used.”
He put on a Christmas station, and the festive tunes helped alleviate the pain she held in her heart. This would be fun, but bittersweet. Because he’d have to take them off the tree. Alone. After she’d gone. Like he’d had to the first time she’d left.
She pushed the thoughts aside and lifted out the first box. These were four chili peppers, because he loved spicy salsa. She couldn’t hide her smile. “Remember these?”
He looked up from the other box and smiled. “Yeah.”
It was easier than Darcy had thought to go through the boxes. Mack kept her laughing and sometimes he kissed her. But she caught him looking at her in that way, the way he used to, back when he loved her.
Marla’s words echoed in her head. That man’s still in love with you.
It wasn’t possible. Was it? How could that be, after all this time?
She picked up a glass ball, hand-painted with the words Darcy and Mack, First Christmas with a heart and the year of their marriage. She froze, and held it in her hand. Did this go on the tree? Or did she try to bury it in the box?
She sent a furtive glance at Mack. He was looking in the other box, not paying attention. She could just tuck it in the tree, where it wouldn’t be visible. She slipped it around the side and hung it deep in the branches, where it couldn’t be seen if you were just walking by or sitting on the couch. When she came back over, he’d returned from the other side of the tree.
Mack’s phone rang and he answered it with an apologetic look at Darcy. She smiled at him to let him know it was okay, and wandered over to check out the snow. The wind was howling now, banging against the windows. Peeking out the door, Darcy could see by the porch light the snow was really piling up. Several inches were on the porch, and her car was a white lump. She clearly wasn’t leaving tonight. Not that she’d planned to, but it was always in the back of her mind. An escape plan in case things got to be too much, she supposed.
She went back to the tree and sat on the couch, just looking at it, now that it held their ornaments. It made the tree more theirs. She could hear Mack’s voice in the kitchen. The dogs snored in front of the fire. The cat was asleep on the couch, too. It was cozy. Comfy. And she was content. This could have been her life. So different from her life in Chicago.
Mack came back and sank down next to her. “Sorry about that. Jenn was checking in. Normally, we don’t do that unless there’s a patient we are watching closely. In this case, Fraser.”
“And how is he?” She didn’t protest when Mack took her feet, one at a time, and pulled them into his lap.
“Making progress. He’s got a long way to go, but he is healing. Barring a serious infection, I think he’ll make it. And I’m doing my damnedest to keep infection at bay. He doesn’t deserve any less.”
“I agree,” she said softly. “What will you do with him when he’s healed?”
He started to massage her foot. She scooted down a little closer. “When he’s well enough he’ll go to the shelter. They’ll take care of him and see if he’s adoptable. There’s a list of people who will take him, but if any of them are suitable or if he’s going to be able to be adopted is another matter.”
“If he’s not?”
Mack sighed. “I’ll take him. Or find a home. He’s terrified of people, thinks we’re going to hurt him.”
Her heart caught. “Of course he is. Poor guy. Any luck on finding who did it?”
“Actually, yeah. There’s a promising tip that came in they are checking out. Hopefully, it pans out and they can make an arrest.” He tugged her socks off and dropped them on the floor. She flexed her toes and propped a pillow under her head. They said nothing for a long while as they sat there in the light of the tree and listened to the crackling of the fire. Darcy found herself dozing. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was home.
Chapter Sixteen
When Darcy nodded off, Mack just sat and watched her for a few minutes. He wanted her, to be sure. But right now what he felt was more tender. He just wanted to keep her here, in this house he’d bought for them, in the little cocoon they’d spun tonight. Sure, it wasn’t reality and he knew that all too well. But damn if she hadn’t slipped right back in his life, as if she’d never been gone.
She stirred and he squeezed her leg. “Hey, sexy. Let’s go to bed.”
She sat up, sleepy eyed, and gave a big yawn. “Okay.”
She got her bag and he heard her in the bathroom, as he banked the fire and unplugged the tree. It looked right now, with their ornaments on it. Then he went into the bedroom as she came out of the bathroom. Flannel bottoms, a long-sleeve T-shirt. No bra, as he could see her breasts sway gently as she moved. He gave her a slow smile. “Flannel? I’ll keep you warm.”
Her nipples peaked against the shirt and he took that as a yes. “Unless you’re too tired.”
She shook her head and he kissed her, long and slow. He was in no hurry. None at all.
It didn’t take long to get her out of her pajamas—she was bare under the bottoms, too—and he took his sweet time with her body before finally sinking into her. They moved slowly and he never took his eyes off hers, even when her eyes blurred and she rose with her climax. When he followed her and collapsed on top of her, he knew this had been different. Something had changed. He rolled off her, then tucked her against him. She kissed his arm and he buried his nose in her hair as he pulled the blankets over them both.
Something had changed, all right. He was afraid he knew exactly what it was.
* * *
They made love once more in the night, and in the morning before he went to the clinic. Mack figured it was a great way to spend the night and start the day. In fact, he’d happily do it every day.
The snow hadn’t stopped, but it had tapered off. There was a good foot of new stuff on the ground. Their vehicles were just white mounds. He went out through the garage and shoveled quickly—it was light and fluffy, so it didn’t take too long to get it out of the way. Then he brushed off both his truck and her car and got in. This was why he had a four-wheel drive truck, he thought as he plowed his way down the street. They were last in line for the plows, being a residential neighborhood, so if he wanted to get anywhere on days like this, it was four-wheel drive and a steady hand.
It took him nearly three times as long as usual to make the trip to the clinic, but he got there. He figured there’d be plenty of canceled appointments today.
Jenn was in the back when he walked in. “You made it” was her greeting.
“Ha. Yeah. No school today, I take it.”
“Not according to the news, no. Do we want to call off any of the techs for today?”
Mack hesitated. “No, but tell them there’s no rush. If they can’t get here safely, then tell them not to risk it. We’ll be okay today.”
“All right.” She gave him the report on the animals and went to call the techs while he went to see Fraser.
He looked at the big dog in the cage,
who looked back at him with pain and fear and suspicion. He talked to him quietly. Jenn had already done the morning’s meds. He’d change the bandages later when the meds had a chance to take effect. He made a point of talking to him quietly several times a day to try to win the dog’s trust, or at least let him know Mack wasn’t going to hurt him. He was very careful to avoid sudden moves and loud noises, as well.
It’d take time.
He went back up front as Jenn was hanging up the phone. “All done. They both said they’ll try it but promised not to take chances. I don’t think either of them will be here before ten.”
“That’s fine.” He wondered when Darcy would attempt to go home. Would she stay? He hadn’t asked her to, but not because he didn’t want her to. It was because he wondered what she’d say.
Plus, asking her to stay sounded needy. He wanted her to do it—or not—because it was what she wanted.
Sure enough, almost all of the patients canceled. But they still had a couple discharges to do today, and those people came in for their animals. Jenn went home for lunch and Mack sat behind the desk, looking over supply orders. This was the techs’ job and they did it well, but since they weren’t here, he figured he’d do it. When the bell on the door jingled, he looked up.
It was Darcy.
He rose as she plopped a huge bag of cat food on the floor at her feet and slapped one of the tags from his tree on the counter. Then she smiled. “Here you go.”
He came around the counter and pulled her into his arms, allowing himself a deep kiss, which she happily gave. “Thanks,” he said.
She stood there for a minute in his embrace. “I’ve got lunch, too. Let me go get it.”
“You didn’t have to—”
“It’s not fancy,” she laughed. “Hold on.”
He transferred the cat food bag to the room he kept that stuff in. They made regular runs to the shelter and dropped items off. She came back in, a whirl of snow coming with her, and held up a bag. “Where do you want this?”
“Let’s go in my office.” He led the way and she followed. When she opened the bag, she pulled out sandwiches and fruit and chips. From another bag she took out two pops and offered him one.