Never Let Go

by Anne Carol

  Unfortunately, it didn’t get any better. About two blocks from home, the dizziness swept over me again, and I instinctively grabbed David’s arm.

  In a second my feet were airborne as I landed, cradled in his arms. I gasped, startled by his quick action.

  “What’re you doing?” I threw my arms around his neck, securing myself to him.

  “I’m carrying you home,” he said firmly, his voice shaken.

  “But it’s two more blocks. You can’t carry me that far,” I argued.

  “I can and I will,” he insisted. “Let me help you Beth, please.”

  Instantly, I relaxed into his arms. It may have been my lack of options, or that I felt weak in the knees every time he said my name; either way, I didn’t argue. I knew I was safe with him.

  But safe or not, I still felt lousy, and when a wave of nausea hit me, I clung to him so fiercely I nearly had him in a chokehold. Afraid of passing out again, I started babbling nervously.

  “Your heart is beating so fast,” I mumbled into his collar.

  “I thought that was yours.”

  I swallowed hard. “Maybe it is, I can’t tell.”

  “Try to relax, I’ve got you,” he whispered, holding me closer.

  I closed my eyes and buried my nose in his shoulder. My mind went numb as I took in his woodsy, balmy scent. The chemistry between us was off the charts.

  Fingering the back of his hair, I whispered, “You smell good.”

  His breath caught and a nervous chuckle slipped from his mouth. “Why, thank you …”

  “Beth!” Jenny’s voice came from out of nowhere. “What’s wrong?”

  My head jerked up from the warmth of David’s shoulder. My stunned cousin was walking toward us, directly in front of her house. I didn’t realize we were here already.

  “She’s not well,” he answered for me.

  “Oh, lucky she ran into you.” Jenny’s eyes shone like two bright Christmas bulbs.

  Her intrigued expression brought me back to reality, and I was suddenly mortified, especially by my run-of-the-mouth. Now all I wanted was to escape my current situation and hide away for the rest of my life, never to be seen by David again.

  As soon as he carried me over the threshold into the entryway, I begged him to put me down.

  He hesitated a second. “I don’t want you to fall.”

  “Please put me down, David. I feel sick.”

  He took great care in lowering me to my feet, holding me in place when I faltered. Once I had my bearings, I turned my back on him and stumbled upstairs toward the bedroom. I sensed his eyes on me until I was out of sight.

  Two seconds after I flopped onto the bed, I heard someone knocking on the door.

  “Beth? Are you okay, dear?” my mom called before letting herself in.

  “No, I feel awful,” I whimpered. “I want to stay in here and rest.”

  “What’s wrong? I understand David had to carry you home.” She put her hand to my forehead. “You’re not warm. Did you eat anything today?”

  “Mom, don’t get on me please. I’ll eat a big dinner, I promise.”

  She gave me a skeptical look. “Beth …”

  “Please, I’m embarrassed and want to be left alone.”

  She nodded. “Alright, but I’m bringing you a snack, and I expect you to eat it.”

  “Whatever,” I mumbled, pulling the sheet over my head.

  After she left the room, I shoved the pillow over my head in an effort to tune out my racing thoughts. Did I really tell him he smelled good? How pathetic.

  “Psst, Beth!” Jenny whispered, tapping me on the shoulder.

  Jenny’s voice roused me out of deep slumber, and I pulled my eyes open, not moving an inch.

  “What is it?”

  “Suppertime.” She was sitting on her bed across from me.

  I rubbed my eyes. “How long did I sleep?”

  “About thirty minutes.”

  “Wow. That felt so good.” Sitting up, I felt my stomach rumble. “I’m starving.”

  I climbed out of bed and started for the door.

  “Beth, wait.”

  I hesitated, turning back to her. “What?”

  “David’s down there. He’s joining us for supper.”

  “You’re joking, right?” I said, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.

  “No, I’m afraid not. Our mothers insisted, after he came to your rescue. They were quite impressed and wanted to show their gratitude.”

  I breathed deeply, processing everything. “Jenny, I can’t go down there. I made a total fool of myself earlier.” I put my head in my hands. “I told him he smelled good.”

  “You what? You didn’t! Oh, Beth, you must’ve been loopy,” she remarked. “Regardless, we should go down. I think he’s waiting for you.”

  “He is?”

  She nodded.

  Wasting no time, I headed to the bathroom and whipped out my cosmetic bag. Jenny followed along and giggled at my mirror image.

  Waving my hairbrush at me, she asked, “Would you like me to fix your hair whilst you touch up your makeup?”

  “Why are you laughing? I just woke up, and my hair is a rat’s nest.” I took a swig of mouthwash for my dry mouth.

  “You want to look pretty for him, don’t you?” She began brushing my hair as I wiped off my smudged eye makeup.

  “No comment.” I grimaced at her reflection in the mirror. “Seriously, Jenny, I don’t know what I’m doing. I like him, but after this afternoon, who knows what he must think of me.”

  “I guarantee that he does not think any less of you.”

  “You sure about that?” I asked, reapplying my eyeliner.

  “Beth, that bloke is completely taken with you. If you can’t see that, then you must be blind. Do you want your hair up or down?”

  “Down. Do you really think he likes me?”

  She smirked at my reflection. “Yes, I do.” She put the brush down on the counter, fluffing out my hair one last time. “I’m off. Don’t keep him waiting, Beth.”

  She patted my shoulders and headed downstairs, leaving me to evaluate myself in the mirror. I smoothed down my hair, pinched my cheeks for color, and took a deep breath.

  Upon arriving in the living room, trying to act casual, I looked up and immediately met David’s beaming face. He lit up like a full moon in summer when he caught my eye. I stared at him in awe as he left the couch and came toward me. My mind blanked for a second while I took him in. He was even more handsome than I remembered. His hair was in perfect place, the longer section sweeping across his forehead, and he looked sharp in a dark green button-up shirt tucked into beige pants.

  “Hi, David,” I shyly greeted him. Now that I was levelheaded, I observed the height difference between us. He was taller than me but not so much that I couldn’t stare into his gorgeous eyes.

  “Hello, Beth.” He flashed an adorable smile. “You look much better. How are you feeling?”

  “Like myself again.”

  He relaxed his stance. “Good,” he breathed.

  We both stood there facing the floor. Finally, I broke the silence with an apology.

  “I’m sorry if I snapped at you earlier. I’m not usually that rude, I swear.”

  “Please don’t apologize, I know you felt like rubbish.”

  “Thanks for helping me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you,” I said, feeling a strong urge to wrap my arms around him in a tight hug.

  “I’m glad I was there when you needed me.” He gazed at me with warm sincerity before breaking eye contact to glance at the coffee table. “I have something for you.”

  He strode over to the table to fetch a single long-stemmed rose, the color of which closely resembled my darkening cheeks.

  “For you.” He handed me the rose, appearing a little awkward. “From my mother’s garden.”

  Our fingers touched as I took the rose from him. I felt the sizzle between us; it was making my heart do flip-flops. Completel
y tickled by his gesture, I gifted him with the biggest smile I’d displayed in weeks. Putting the delicate red flower to my nose, I breathed in its rich fragrance.

  “It’s beautiful. Thank you. The rose is my favorite flower.” I was turning on my charm now as I felt remarkably alive in his presence.

  “Is it? Good to know,” he said, perking up one eyebrow. Then, clearing his throat and glancing away, he continued, “I brought something else. It’s in the kitchen.”

  “Oh, what is it? More shortbread?” I must’ve had food on the brain.

  He chuckled. “How did you guess?”

  “Oh, David …”

  All I could do was stare at him in complete amazement, to the point where he had to look away. “What?” he asked.

  “I should be giving you a gift for your birthday.”

  “Quite alright. It’s just nice seeing you feeling better.”

  My mouth fell open. “You’re a real sweetheart, you know that? Thank you so much.”

  Why did I have to come all the way to London to find the guy of my dreams?

  Just then Aunt Ellie called us to the table, interrupting the moment.

  Holding up my rose, I told him I’d be right back. I dashed upstairs to set it on my bedside table, blatantly ignoring the photo of me and Rick.

  Back in the dining area, I noticed David had been placed directly across from me at the table. It was hard not to stare. The way I was drawn to him was inexplicable; it was like he had a magnetic pull on me.

  Over dinner, Aunt Ellie gave more specifics about her connection to David. She taught him in his first year of secondary school, when he was just eleven. According to her, David was one of the best mannered boys in her class, which naturally made him a favorite.

  “I was rather fond of David. I could see that his mum and dad raised him well. I’m not at all surprised that he came to the aid of my niece today,” she stated, looking back and forth between us.

  I felt put on the spot, and Jenny must have picked up on my discomfort, because she started grilling David about his family and university plans.

  His parents—Margaret, a hospital nurse, and Charles, a prison official—wanted him to attend university, but he wasn’t sure where. Since he was strong in mathematics, his intended field of study was business. He said his fifteen-year-old brother, Cameron, was anxious to get him out of the house so he could have David’s (larger) room. As he spoke fondly of them, I got the impression David came from a stable, close-knit family, a quality I found admirable.

  Throughout the meal, David could hardly take his eyes off me, even if it was just a passing glance or a peek out of the corner of his eye. We even exchanged smiles every so often. I think my mom picked up on the mutual attraction because, at one point, she blatantly raised her eyebrows at the two of us. Surprisingly, it didn’t appear to bother her.

  After supper, Aunt Ellie asked David if he’d care to stay for a while and play a card game with us. I brightened up at the thought.

  “I really should get home, but thank you for supper, Mrs. Johnson,” he responded, dashing my hopes.

  “It was our pleasure. I enjoyed seeing you again, David.”

  He got up from the table and politely walked his plate to the sink. Jenny followed him over and out of the blue invited him to come sightseeing with us on Saturday.

  His eyes lit up in interest, and he looked at me as if to seek approval. I personally thought it was a brilliant idea, but since she was also inviting her boyfriend, it was obvious Jenny was making this into some sort of double date. And given my confused feelings over Rick, I was torn.

  “I’d like that, if Beth is alright with me coming along,” he said, still watching me.

  “It’s fine with me,” I voiced as I toted my dishes to the sink and then asked myself, what am I saying? Is this right?

  “Fantastic,” Jenny remarked, clapping her hands. She and David exchanged phone numbers and settled on a time to meet here Saturday morning.

  As David said his goodbyes and headed toward the door, Jenny practically shoved me in his direction.

  “Walk him out!” she ordered in a hushed voice.

  I had every intention of escorting him out the door, even though I still felt awkward about fainting on him. Nevertheless, I wanted him to know how much I appreciated what he’d done for me.

  While the two of us were alone on the porch, we were both quiet for a long time until eventually I spoke up.

  “Again, thank you for rescuing me today. I’ll never forget it.”

  “You’re quite welcome.”

  I racked my brain for things to say but came up empty, so I decided to call it a night.

  “Well, I guess I’ll see you Saturday at nine.” I turned to walk back inside.

  “Beth? Can I ask you something?” his voice quavered.

  “Sure.” I reversed myself and stood before him, curious as hell.

  “Do you suppose … I mean … would you ever consider … letting me take you out sometime?” He had his hands behind his back and his head bent toward the ground as if he were inspecting something.

  A ray of light shot through me, but it was soon overshadowed by my feelings of loyalty toward Rick. I couldn’t give David a positive response, much as I wanted to. But it was too depressing to flat out refuse him, because I wanted to leave that door open.

  “I have to think about it. You see, I have a boyfriend back home,” I confessed.

  “Oh.” His shoulders dropped and his face went flat. “I … uh … I didn’t realize.”

  When he said that, I felt bad that I’d led him on with my flirtatious behavior.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.”

  “Don’t apologize. I never asked,” he said, avoiding my gaze. “I’d better let you go now. Good night, Beth.”

  “Good night, David.”

  As I watched him slowly walk away, I had an urge I couldn’t deny myself.

  “Wait, David …”

  He stopped in his tracks and turned around. Using all the bravery I had, I approached him and threw my arms around his neck. “You’re my hero,” I whispered as I reached up to tenderly kiss his cheek.

  I nearly gasped out loud; the fireworks show inside my head rivaled the biggest Fourth of July display I’d ever seen.

  Once I found my breath, I backed away, leaving my hand on his shoulder. “I’m not saying no.”

  “Good,” he said with an infectious smile.

  I wore my eyes out gawking at him as he left, backing his way down the steps and not breaking visual contact with me.

  “’Night, birthday boy.”

  “Good night, Beth.”

  He didn’t stop watching me until he was on the pavement, and at that point we waved to each other.

  Yeah, I was kidding myself if I didn’t think there was something brewing between us.

  A card game was in full swing when I returned to the living room. My mom looked up from the game as I strolled in feeling on top of the world.

  “He’s a nice boy,” she commented. “I hope you gave him a big thank you for what he did.”

  “I thanked him, don’t worry.” I was still thinking about that kiss; how the simple touch of my lips to his skin had rattled my insides.

  “Okay, I’m out. I need to chat with Beth.” Jenny tossed her cards down, bounced up from the table, and headed my way.

  We scurried up to her room, where she promptly shut the door.

  “You were out there a while. What happened?” she pressed, taking a seat on her bed.

  I relaxed back on my pillow, unable to contain my smile. “He asked me out.”

  “Oh, Beth! What’d you say?”

  “I told him I’d think about it.”

  She looked at me skeptically. “Think about it? What’s there to think about?”

  “I was honest and told him I had a boyfriend.”

  “Oh, Beth, you’re too good.”

  “No, ‘too good’ would be not even considering going out
with him.” I shifted my pillow to my lap and leaned forward. “I don’t know what to do, Jenny.”

  “And I don’t know how to advise you. Why don’t you see how things go Saturday? Give yourself a chance to know David, see how you get on with him.”

  “I can’t believe I’m thinking this way. I mean, I know things have been going downhill with Rick, but I never imagined I’d be interested in another guy so quickly.”

  “Maybe you’ve met your true match,” she said with a glint in her eyes.

  “Yeah, in another country—that’s practical!” I fell backward on the bed and stared at the ceiling. As I was getting to know my cousin all over again, I was discovering what a hopeless romantic she was.

  “It worked for our grandparents,” she said, reminding me that Grandma Claire had met Grandpa Henry while vacationing in England. “Not to mention my parents,” she added.

  “Okay, stop. You’re making me crazy!”

  She giggled. “I’m sorry. You should have an open mind, that’s all. You fancy one another, it’s clear as day.”

  “It’s really that obvious?”

  “Of course.”

  “Guess I have a lot of thinking to do.” I reached under my bed to grab my journal and pen.

  Jenny offered to give me some time alone, which I gratefully accepted so I could pour my heart out to my journal.

  I stared at the blank, lined pages and wondered where to even begin. Within half an hour, I’d filled page after page of feelings, thoughts, and dreams about David. By the time I finished, I was ready to call him up and change my maybe to a yes.

  Only he called me first. But I controlled myself, keeping in mind what Jenny said about Saturday. When I heard his voice over the line that next afternoon, I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding like crazy.

  “Hello, Beth,” he said, a slight stiffness in his voice. Was he nervous?

  “Hey there. What’s up?”

  “Actually I’m due for my guitar lesson, but you’ve been on my mind all day. I thought I’d ring you to see how you were feeling.”