Never Let Go

by Anne Carol

  “I haven’t even gone on one date with him. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Mom.”

  Just then Jenny bounced in from the entryway. “Hello! So are you going to ring him, Beth?”

  “Uh, hi, and I don’t know,” I said, wishing she’d come in just a few seconds earlier.

  “Beth, I never said you couldn’t see David. But I want you to be aware of those few things.” My mom glanced at Jenny as she got up and headed into the kitchen.

  Jenny’s eyes followed my mom until she was safely out of hearing range, and then she quietly stated, “I’m sorry, did I walk in on something?”

  Waving my hand, I told her not to worry about it. “So do you think I should phone him?” I asked.

  “Without a doubt.”

  “Just go ahead already,” Jenny urged as I leaned against the kitchen counter twisting my hands together.

  “But our dads are in there,” I said.

  “So? What do you have to hide? Ring him, Beth.” She gently nudged me.

  “Okay, okay,” I said as I slowly moved into the living room and picked up the telephone. The dads didn’t even notice me; they were too caught up in a dumb TV show.

  A woman with a heavy accent, presumably David’s mother, answered the phone on the second ring.

  After I asked for David, she said warmly, “Is this Beth?”

  “Yes.” I didn’t know what else to say, but I was tickled that he’d mentioned me to his mother.

  “Beth, David is out for the night. I don’t expect he’ll be home until much later.”

  “Oh, okay.” My shoulders drooped.

  “I’ll let him know you phoned, alright, dear?”

  “Alright, thank you, Mrs. Somers.”

  After I hung up, Dad peeked his head up. “Who’re you calling, Beth?”

  “David, but he’s not home.” I had to practically shout above the background noise of the TV.

  “I like him. Nice, polite fellow.” He nodded his head without turning from the screen.

  “Yeah, he definitely is.” I smiled, happy that he approved, even if Mom had her reservations.

  “Jenny, is it possible to miss somebody you’ve only known a few weeks?” I asked later as we were getting ready for bed.

  “Of course.”

  “I mean, like really miss, like you’re missing a limb or something?” I said, surprised by my intense feelings.

  “I’d say in your case regarding David, it’s very possible.”

  After a brief pause, I said, “I want him so much it hurts.”

  “I know,” she responded, like it was a given fact.

  “Beth, are you awake?” Jenny’s voice called the next morning as she tapped the bottom of my foot through the blanket.

  I was now. Slowly cracking my lids open, I mumbled, “This’d better be good.”

  “Trust me, it is. David’s here.”

  “What? How early is it?” I said, rubbing my eyes.

  “Early. Come on, he’s waiting.”

  And just like that, I ripped the covers off me and grabbed something quick to throw on.

  Following a rushed hair and makeup job, I composed myself and went down to the living room. It was the first time I would see David since the whole Rick disaster, and in my mind that was significant.

  And when I finally met his beaming smile, my breath caught and I felt lightheaded.

  He stood in the living room wearing jeans and a T-shirt with a denim jacket covering his top half. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

  “Hi, David. It’s good to see you.” Really good.

  “It’s lovely seeing you, too. How are you?” His gaze turned serious.

  “Better, thank you.”

  He smiled. “Good, I’m glad.”

  A familiar, pleasant aroma aroused my senses. “Do I smell roses?”

  Before he could answer, Mom walked out of the kitchen with a bouquet of blush-colored roses in a vase and nodded toward David as she set them on a table. I drew in a gasp and scurried over to examine them, taking in their delicate scent.

  “David, are these your mom’s?” I asked.

  “Yes, do you like them?” He stood right behind me.

  “Oh, I love them. Thank you!” I wanted to hug him, but not in front of my mother.

  “You don’t have to leave right away, do you?” I asked.

  He checked his watch. “No, I have a few minutes.” He was trying to suppress a grin, I could tell.

  “Come on.” I took his hand and led him outside to the front porch, settling down on the top step. “Sit.” I pointed to the space beside me.

  Now I saw the reason for his jacket. It was cold and drizzly outside, and I was in a sun dress. When he saw me hugging myself to keep warm, he took off the jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders.

  “You’re just not prepared for the weather here, are you?” he mused, smiling.

  I shook my head at him. “Well, I threw on the first thing I could find. Thanks.” I gingerly put my arms through the sleeves. “Did your mom tell you I phoned last night?”

  “Yes, that’s why I’m here. I wanted to see you, Beth.” He reached over and pinched a strand of my hair between his fingers. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.” More than you know.

  “How are you, really?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “It was rough right after I got the call. I was sad, angry—at him for doing it and at myself for not letting him go when I should’ve. I really should’ve dumped him after our last date.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  I wasn’t expecting him to ask that, and now I felt on the spot, so I gave him a brief rundown of the last night with Rick.

  David narrowed his eyes. “Yes, you should’ve sacked him. Why didn’t you?”

  “Because I’m stupid.” I shook my head, looking toward the sky. “Actually, because he showed up the next day acting all nice, and I didn’t want to end things on a bad note. I thought maybe this break would help us.”

  “I don’t know why you’d want somebody that treats you like rubbish,” he said as he gently tucked my hair over my ear. “Don’t you know how special you are?”

  Tears formed at the back of my eyes, but I tried to hold them back. Did he have any clue the effect he had on me? With that one simple sentence, he made me feel like I was worth a million dollars.

  Operating on pure instinct, I put my hand on his cheek and gave him a warm smile. “I always feel better when I’m with you. You’re nothing like him.”

  He covered my hand with his own as this thumb rubbed the backs of my fingers. “I’ll never be like him, I promise you.” And when he said it, I knew he meant it.

  “Right now, at this very moment, I’m glad he cheated on me,” I said, almost losing my breath as I drew closer to him.

  Our legs were now touching and I’d never felt so connected with someone, including Rick. I sensed David’s quickening breath as we stared at each other. Then, surprising myself, I laced my fingers behind his neck and …

  “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” Jenny’s gasp came from behind us. She turned on her heel and slipped back inside.

  But by the time she apologized, we were already separated with our hands safely in our laps. I carefully took off his jacket and gave it back to him as we stood up, exchanging mirroring looks of regret.

  “I should head out. My first week on the job, and I have to be there before opening.”

  “Oh, a working man.” I grinned. “Well, good luck.”

  “Thanks.” He paused, stuffing his fingers in his pockets. “May I ring you tonight? I feel like our conversation was cut short,” he said, his eyes not leaving mine.

  “Yes, much too short.” I stared back at him. “I’d love to continue our talk later.”

  Just then Aunt Ellie and Jenny appeared on the porch, ready to go.

  “Have a good day at work,” I told David as he made to leave.

  “I’ll try.” With that, he reluctantly stepped down toward the
pavement.

  I waved goodbye to my aunt and cousin, who was raising her eyebrows at me as she walked away. “We’ll talk later,” she mouthed.

  I couldn’t respond, since David was still watching me, glowing. And me? I couldn’t wait until the next time I could be with him. He was like sunlight glistening on fallen snow; like a full moon lighting up a bleak October sky; like the bright opening at the end of a dark tunnel. He was my hero, in so many ways. And I was falling in love with him.

  I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling in a daze. Life was good, it was real good.

  “What’re you thinking, starry eyes?” Jenny snickered.

  “I’m thinking I can’t wait for Friday night.” I felt bright as a bulb inside. “I know it’s not like a real date, with you and Simon coming along.”

  “We can always back out if you want David to yourself.”

  “You’d better not!” I was hoping to ease into this with a group date first.

  “Why are you afraid of being alone with him? You did fine last Saturday. And you’ve spent the last two mornings out on the porch chatting with him. You two have got it bad for each other!”

  Oh, did we ever. Except for his work and band commitments, we’d been inseparable over the past two days. We talked on the phone last night and tonight, and he came by this morning for a quick visit before work. We held hands the whole time¸ but we never did get to that kiss from the other day.

  He did, however, manage to invite me and my cousin along to a music gig Friday night. Apparently, the guys in the band were friends of his, and he’d planned on going anyway. But I had a feeling he was anxious to show me an important part of his world.

  “I’d still like to take you to dinner, but I don’t want to rush you,” he’d said.

  “I appreciate that.” But don’t wait too long, because I adore you, brown eyes, I wanted to say. After all, the reality was we didn’t have an endless timetable. I was going home at the end of summer.

  Once Friday arrived, I was itching to put on the new outfit I’d bought for the occasion: dark straight-leg jeans, a navy blouse in shimmery satin, and metallic strappy heels. I also wore my hair down in waves and had Jenny fix me up with darker eye makeup so I could at least fake being a rocker chick. My parents hardly recognized me when I came down for dinner, but the best reaction came from David.

  When I greeted him at the front door, he was literally speechless as he looked me up and down. I smiled back as I did the same with him.

  “Smashing,” he breathed.

  “You, too.” I gaped at him wearing black jeans, a gray band logo shirt, boots, and a broken-in black leather jacket. His hair was even spiked a little on one side. I couldn’t resist reaching over to fluff up his hair. “You remind me of James Dean.” Sexy.

  He ate dinner with the family, plus Simon, and then the four of us headed out to the club, which David assured us we’d have no problem getting into since he “knew people.” The club was a few blocks further than where we’d gone shopping, but still within walking distance. It was a nice evening and I didn’t mind the refreshing walk, especially while holding David’s hand.

  As we got closer to the nightclub, I noticed a group of young guys and girls with punk-style hair and clothing milling around, while loud music blared from inside.

  Simon had his arm wrapped around Jenny, and David put his hand at my back as we entered the crowded room, which was thick with cigarette smoke. The band was setting up their equipment on a low stage while recorded music screamed from the loudspeakers. It wasn’t the type of music I normally listened to, but I was keeping an open mind, for David’s sake.

  We grabbed a table toward the front, and right away Simon and Jenny recognized some people, so they scooted away to mingle, leaving me alone with David.

  “So this is a punk band?” I asked him.

  He looked at me funny. “Yes, I thought you knew that.” He studied me for a moment. “You like this music, right?”

  “Uh, sure,” I said not so convincingly. When did I ever give him that impression?

  “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you were looking through a stack of Sex Pistols LPs when I spotted you in the record shop.”

  Oh, right, that. Incredible memory.

  I gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah, I guess I was. I was just browsing, really.”

  His face fell a few feet. “So you don’t like punk?”

  “I didn’t say that, but it’s not the kind of music I normally listen to.”

  “So what do you like, then?”

  “I guess Top 40s, you know, disco—”

  “—disco? Oh, please, not that.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

  “Can you let me finish?” I grinned and playfully shoved his shoulder. “And bands like the Eagles, Foreigner, Fleetwood Mac, Journey, Queen.”

  “So, mainstream? Hmm, I can work with that. But disco—may have to break you of that.” He gave me an impish, but determined look.

  I rolled my eyes. “We’ll see.”

  He squeezed the hand he was holding and said, “We can argue about it later. For now, you’re about to hear one of the best local bands around.”

  “Then I’m glad I came,” I stated, glancing over at the stage.

  “So am I. How about I fetch a few fizzy drinks?” He rose from his chair. “Don’t go anywhere.” He winked.

  Watching him walk away, I noticed several people stopping to greet him as he passed by. It seemed like he knew his way around, like he was a regular.

  “David went to get drinks?” Jenny asked as she and Simon took their seats.

  “Huh?” I mumbled, still gawking at David.

  She laughed. “Sorry to interrupt your thoughts,” she said, following my gaze. “He knows a lot of people here, doesn’t he?”

  “Seems to,” I replied, still staring. He caught my eye as he was chatting with someone and I quickly smiled. Within a few minutes, he was walking back toward me, his eyes not moving from mine. It gave me the chills, even in a warm, crowded room, to have him look at me like that.

  “Did you miss me?” David asked as he sat back down, placing my soda in front of me.

  “Terribly.”

  Just then a young man walked up to our table.

  “David! Hey, you’re not playing tonight?” he asked.

  My ears perked up at his question.

  “Not tonight, Neil. Just here to listen,” he said, clearing his throat.

  “So are you getting ready for your gig? It’ll be you up there in a few weeks.” He pointed to the stage.

  “What?” Jenny and I said at the same time.

  “Oh, you haven’t told them yet? Sorry, mate,” Neil said.

  Before David could respond, Neil abruptly left us when he was called away by another friend.

  He gave me a humble expression. “I was going to tell you, I promise.”

  “I would hope so,” I admonished him. “I’m coming, of course.”

  He lit up at my statement. “Well, if you insist.” He casually draped his arm around my shoulder. “I’ll save you a seat in front.”

  “Please do.”

  I was just starting to enjoy the sensation of his hand on my shoulder when the band appeared on stage. After the lead singer introduced the members, they broke into an ear-splitting set, including a cover of a popular Sex Pistols tune. Truthfully, it wasn’t bad music, just different from what I was used to. David looked like he was on top of the world as he listened with me tucked under his arm. He mostly focused on the band, but every once in a while his attention shifted to me.

  After about the fifth song, the frontman spoke into the microphone, looking directly at David, and said, “David Somers, one of the best young guitar players in our borough, is here tonight.” There were cheers throughout the club. “I’d like to ask him to come up and play on our next tune, called ‘Roundabout’. What do you say, David?” David shook his head in disbelief. “Come on, I know you want to show off for your girlfriend …”

&nb
sp; David looked at me as if to seek approval.

  I gave him a tiny shove. “Go, I want to hear you.”

  “You want me to?”

  I nodded vigorously.

  “Alright, only for you, angel.” His finger stroked my cheekbone as he stood up from his chair, the crowd roaring with applause and whistles.

  Angel … he called me angel, I thought as I sank into the chair in a daze.

  My adrenaline pumped as I watched him effortlessly strap on the guitar and grab a pick from the other guitar player. The singer whispered something to David, to which he nodded and proceeded to stand in front of the microphone, guitar in position. After the drummer counted him in, he started strumming away on the instrument, playing his heart out.

  I was awestruck. My mouth fell open as I stared at him, amazed. He was definitely in his element—energetic and confident, not the contemplative, sometimes quiet guy he was around me. I’d never been more proud to be seen with someone, as he rocked out onstage in front of a crowd of excited music lovers.

  He continued thundering away at the guitar and singing backup vocals, shifting his focus between his hands, the lead singer, and the general crowd. When he finally met my stare, I could see from his expression that he was born to do this.

  As the song came to a close, everybody who was seated got to their feet and, along with the crowd of people standing, clapped and cheered loudly. David handed the guitar back as the singer announced, “David Somers on guitar! Thanks, David! I guess we’ll see you back here in a few weeks.” They shook hands and David stepped off the stage.

  He didn’t make it far before I impulsively charged forward, threw my arms around his neck and gave him a loud kiss on the lips. “You were incredible,” I whispered in his ear.

  He took me in his arms and hugged me tightly, saying in a low voice, “I could get used to this.”

  Of course, all this happened in front of the audience, who was loudly applauding our bold display. The catcalls and whistles brought me back to the present and I scrambled back to our table, pulling David along. Once in our seats, his arm again found its way around my shoulders.

  I didn’t hold back my praise. “You were on fire up there! I can’t wait to hear more in a few weeks.”