by Elin Peer
“That’s a definite no!”
“But…”
Finn shook his head. “Come on, Athena, if I was going to take you by force, I would have done it back home, and I didn’t, did I?”
“No, but…” I bit my lip and furrowed my brow, but Finn was already crawling into bed.
“I’ve made up my mind,” he said. “I’m sleeping here. The offer for me to take the floor has expired.”
Choose your battles, I told myself and used the bathroom to do my breathing exercises. Only they weren’t working like normal and there was an unfamiliar nervous energy running through me. Finn was bossy and dominant to a fault, but I couldn’t lie to myself any longer. I was fascinated by him and curious about what he was hiding.
Sometimes when we argued I found my body tingling with sensations that I couldn’t name. There was annoyance yes, but also a warmth and something else that I classified as feeling intrigued, although I had a suspicion it might be something else. With stubborn determination, I refused to examine my feelings for Finn closer at this point.
Don’t fall in love with me. Finn’s words rang in my head and looking into the mirror, I lifted my chin. Something happened to that man, and I’m going to help him heal, even if it’s just a little.
“What took you so long?” Finn asked when I came out from the bathroom. “If you made a stinker, you better close the door.”
Ignoring his attempt to be funny, I got into bed and made myself comfortable.
“I was thinking,” Finn said and turned toward me, “maybe we could do that thing we did yesterday.”
“What thing was that?”
“You getting naked and lying close to me.”
“I wasn’t naked yesterday.”
He wrinkled his forehead. “Are you sure? Because I’m sure I remember you being naked and rubbing yourself against me.”
My lips pursed upward. “You live in a fantasy world half the time.”
“Huh.” A smile grew on his face. “The thing is, last night I actually slept better than I have in a long time and I was hoping to repeat that.”
“It’s because I slowed down your energy vibrations.”
His eyes widened. “Is that another of your witch tricks?”
“No, it’s not and even if it was, it would make me a good witch since it helped you.”
“All right, you have a point.” Finn propped himself up on his right elbow. “And talking about witch tricks, don’t forget to do the second round of lifting the curse.”
He reached for my hand and placed it on top of his head. “Maybe it helps if you touch me.”
I said the Latin words from yesterday, and then an idea struck me. “Maybe it would help more if I placed my hand above your heart,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because your heart is where you’ll find satisfaction and fulfilment when you’re with a woman.”
He laughed. “Nope, that would be a little further south. Want me to guide your hand there?”
“I’m not touching your private parts.”
He smiled. “I really wish you would.”
I gave a hard exhalation. “Do you want me to touch your heart or not?”
There was a quick flash of sadness on his face but it was gone so fast that I doubted I had seen it. He took my hand and placed it on his naked chest.
Speaking slow and clear, I repeated the words. Tingles in my hand intensified the need to touch more of Finn. He had hair on his chest, it was trimmed and wasn’t overpowering.
“Men here have their body hair removed,” I said with my eyes on his muscled chest and shoulders.
“That’s because they’ve lost their pride in being male,” Finn said. “We aren’t supposed to be soft and smooth like women.”
Closing his hand around my wrist he kept my hand to his chest. “This is what a real man feels like, Athena. Hard, hairy, and sexy.” The mischief shone from his eyes and I laughed when he added, “Now that you’ve felt my naked chest, I think it’s only fair that you let me feel yours.”
“Nice try, Finn.”
“What are you afraid of, Athena? It’s not like you have a husband who would get jealous if you slept with me.”
“I’m not afraid of anything. I’m just not that interested in the mechanical parts of sex.” It wasn’t completely true, since I had wondered about what it would be like to have sex with him more than a few times.
“That’s right. You want a spiritual connection.” Finn angled his head. “So how about a compromise?”
I pulled back my hand. “What compromise would that be?”
“You give me half an hour to show you the mechanical part of sex and I’ll give you an hour to show me the spiritual part.”
Temptation burned in my chest.
“It’s a really fair deal with you getting double time compared to me,” Finn pointed out.
“Okay, but there can be no intercourse.”
“What? Are you kidding me?” Finn protested. “That’s like giving me permission to fly your drone as long as I don’t lift it from the ground. It makes no sense. Intercourse is sex, Athena.”
“No intercourse!” I repeated, my voice jumping a little from the speed of my pumping heart. “You can touch my breasts and give me a kiss, but that’s it.”
Finn blinked a few times and then he nodded. “I’ll take it. Do you want me to turn out the nightlamp?” he asked with eager eyes.
“Why? Is that how it’s usually done?”
“Just forget I asked,” he said and bit his lower lip with a small frown.
I rubbed my arm, lowering my eyebrows. “You’ve done this before, right?”
“Uh-huh – you don’t have to worry, I’m a very skilled lover,” Finn assured me, but the uncertainty in his eyes told a different story.
For a second we stared at each other in awkward silence. “Do you want me to take off my shirt?” I asked, feeling nervous myself.
“Ehm, yes, that would be great.” He moved closer, and laid a stiff hand on my hip.
I pulled my white, soft shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. When I turned my head to see Finn he was staring at my breasts with wide eyes. Nudity was a natural thing in the Motherlands, and I’d never been ashamed of my body. But the way he was transfixed on my breasts had me feeling self-aware.
Finn had already seen me naked that first night when he undressed me, so why was he staring like that? For my petite size, my breasts were a generous handful apiece but maybe he was so used to seeing sex-bots with large breasts that he was disappointed. I frowned a little, but on second look, Finn didn’t look disappointed.
“Can I?” he asked without taking his eyes off my breasts.
“Yes.” I nodded and watched as Finn got up on his knees and used both hands to touch me – at first with great care, as if they were tender and he was afraid of hurting me. When I didn’t complain, his touch grew in intensity. He leaned down to plant kisses on my skin, and moved on to lick and suckle on my nipples.
Nerve endings that I hadn’t been aware of before were setting off reactions in my body that were unfamiliar to me. I had heard of erogenous zones, but was confused that I could feel my panties getting wet, when Finn hadn’t even touched me down there. A tingly and happy feeling spread in my body. I recognized it from the time Finn and I had bonded through meditation, and from when I saw him play with the twins. Arching my spine a little, I stopped myself when a strong impulse made me want to spread my legs for him.
“Finn,” I whispered. “When I said that you could kiss me, I didn’t mean my breasts. I meant my lips.”
As if I had threatened to take away his new toys, Finn planted his hands firmly on my breasts, and looked up at me. “You don’t like it when I play with your tits?” he asked.
I shrugged, unwilling to let him know that I liked it very much.
Leaning back on his haunches, Finn ran a hand through his hair. “All right. So how do you want to do the kissing? Do you want to sit up or
can I lie down on top of you?”
“For a skilled lover, you seem a bit unsure,” I pointed out and softened my criticism with a smile.
Finn frowned and with a decisive movement, he pushed my knees apart and lay down on top of me.
I stopped breathing when I felt his hard erection press against my core.
Finn looked deeply into my eyes. “Relax, Athena, don’t forget to breathe. There’s no need to be scared.”
“I’m not scared.” Nerves made me blurt out the words, too forced to ring true. “Just remember, no intercourse.”
“Nothing is going to happen,” he whispered. “Your pussy is safe behind your panties and I’m still wearing my briefs.”
“Okay,” I whispered and wet my lips just before he kissed me.
I wasn’t prepared for the softness of his lips, the tickling of his beard, or the taste of mint from his tooth cleaner. Kissing Finn was nothing like kissing my mom or one of my friends. His kisses were longer and he nibbled at my lips, like he was tasting a fine meal.
When he pushed his crotch gently against me, some ancient programming of my nervous system took over and my body came to life in the most delicious way. Our kiss grew deeper and more daring with his tongue raking over my teeth, teasing me, and releasing an explosion of endorphins in my brain.
“You smell so good,” Finn groaned into my mouth and began moving in a wonderful slow rhythm of bump-and-grind against my panties.
The simulation of intercourse made the bed squeak and his breathing became faster as his kisses grew more demanding in nature.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he instructed and when I did, his hands interlaced with mine, pinning me to the bed with only two layers of fabric stopping him from full penetration.
“Are you sure you don’t want to feel me inside you?” Finn asked in a raw voice full of lust.
“Finn, think about it. It wouldn’t be a good idea.”
“Sex isn’t about thinking, it’s about doing.” His grinding against me was getting harder, a strong arousal surged through me from head to toe.
“Aren’t you curious?” he coaxed, while planting seductive kisses along my jawline that had me doubting why I had made a stupid rule about no intercourse.
“Yes,” I admitted and moaned again when he kissed along my jawline.
Finn’s hands trailed down my side and pulled at my panties. “Then let’s do it for real.”
“No,” I said. But it sounded weak and in my state of lust, I wanted to shut up the part of me that would dare set restrictions on something this glorious. We should have sex and lots of it. This was such a beautiful way of bonding; my heart was expanding and reaching out to him. Surely, Finn experienced the beautiful connection between us too.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my lips to his ears. “Do you feel us bonding?” I whispered, opening my heart to him.
Finn groaned, and with his eyes closed, he lifted himself up on his hands and made the bed rock harder.
“Athena, is everything all right in there?” My head flew to the bedroom door that Hans was knocking on.
Finn stopped moving and cursed low, but I let it slide.
“Thank you, Hans, I’m fine. We’re just…” I didn’t know what to say and looked at Finn, who raised an eyebrow with a challenging stare. “We’re just bonding,” I called out.
“Oh, okay.” Hans sounded unsure. “But if you need me, just call my name, okay?”
“Thank you, I will, and may you have blessed dreams.” With a light shove, I pushed Finn off me. The magic had been broken. I was a bit shocked at how intense things had gotten between us.
“We don’t have to stop just because Hans has bad manners and horrible timing,” Finn said and reached for me again.
“I think we have the mechanics down.” I gave him a smile. “Maybe it’s better if we focus on the spiritual part now.”
Finn fell on his back, rubbing his face and blowing out air. “You’re just going to leave me all horny like this?”
“We made a compromise and I gave you time to show me the mechanics of sex. Now it’s your turn to honor my part and focus on the spiritual bonding.”
“When you say bonding, what exactly do you mean?” Finn asked and turned his head to look at me with deep frown lines on his forehead.
“Well, before, did you feel how connected we were?”
Finn looked away. “It was just sex, Athena, that’s all.”
“I opened up my heart to you,” I whispered.
Finn’s chest rose in a deep inhalation. He covered his eyes with his forearm. “I told you not to fall in love with me. I’ll let you do your vibrational witch thing, but that’s all.”
His rejection stung. I pulled the covers tighter around my body as a protective shield. “Are you saying you didn’t feel anything, just now?”
“Of course I did.” Finn lowered his arm and gave me a hard stare. “I already told you I was horny.”
“Horny. Is that it?” I asked with an incredulous tone of voice.
“No, I was also annoyed with Hans for interrupting us when I was just about to remove your panties.”
I had feeling of love in my heart for you. I was wise enough to keep that part to myself. Confused by my feelings and too upset to break down the façade Finn was hiding behind, I rolled onto my side, turning away from him.
“Aren’t you going to do that energy thing that you did yesterday?” he asked.
“Not tonight,” I muttered.
“Why not?”
I didn’t explain to him how hurt I was from his dismissal of what had happened between us. The rush of experiencing such arousal and bonding with Finn had blown my mind. Despite all the self-reflection I had done in my life, it seemed there were parts of me that I didn’t know at all. Where had this erotic side of me come from? How far would I have gone if Hans hadn’t interrupted us?
Probably all the way, I admitted to myself.
What hit me the hardest, was how it had started out being awkward, only to transform into something as natural and beautiful as rainbows after the rain. Until Hans knocked on the door, Finn and I had melted together and been one. Now we were back to being two people again.
Like me, Finn was quiet. For the longest time we lay awake not speaking and not moving. When he turned off the light, we drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER 19
Murder
Finn
I knew I had hurt Athena with my hard words last night. She was trying her best to act her normal gracious self today, but there were too many signs that she was out of balance for me to ignore. First, she cut herself when she prepared breakfast this morning. Then she opened the window and called for Bast, forgetting that she had just let the cat in five minutes earlier.
Hans kept giving me the stink eye. He was being overly sweet and caring to Athena, and I wasn’t sure what he thought had been going on between her and me last night. Anyone could tell that she was unhappy, and I suspected he thought I had pushed myself on the innocent priestess.
To be honest, I was surprised that Athena had agreed to make out with me last night. My heart had been racing faster than the time I met a full-grown grizzly bear. The way she had wrapped her legs and arms around me had been the sexiest thing I could have imagined. Athena was the woman I had fantasized the most about in my life. Ever since our time together in the Northlands, I had thought about her often. Not just her incredible beauty and those perky tits that just beckoned a man to come play with them. But also her kind eyes, and that sweet smile of hers that I had only seen hints of in the Northlands because she was mostly serious and guarded around me back then.
Athena was misguided because of her upbringing in the Motherlands, for sure, but she was still a warm, generous, and amazing person that I didn’t want to see sad.
“Athena, you really shouldn’t frown so much, it distorts the tattoos on your forehead,” I said to loosen her up a little bit.
“Are you done with that?”
she asked without looking at me.
“Yes, and the pot pie tasted really good.” I gave her my plate. “Are you sure it wasn’t real chicken?”
“I told you.” Her voice was soft tone but she still refusing to look at me. “It’s a vegetable-based substitute for chicken.”
“You could’ve fooled me.”
Turning her back on me, she spoke in a matter-of-fact voice. “Tristan and some of the other children are coming over in a bit.”
“That’s great! I was hoping to see Tristan again,” I said, with my brain trying to figure out how I could make it up to Athena. “By the way, I wanted to ask you something.”
Athena’s back stiffened.
“I was wondering if there is maybe something I can help you with before I leave tomorrow.”
“Like what?” She turned, and it hurt to see her eyes so sad.
“I don’t know, maybe I could do some work around the house, or remove a spider or something. I’m an excellent handyman.” I gave her my most charming smile, but it only made her turn away from me again.
“I just figured that with you living out here on your own, maybe I could be of service.”
“Thank you, but there’s no need.”
“Not even a little?” I asked.
“I’m not afraid of spiders, and women have survived in the Motherlands without handymen for centuries.”
“I was just trying to be nice,” I mumbled and looked at Hans. “Hey, Hansi, you wanna hear a joke?”
He directed a worried glance in Athena’s direction, before he nodded.
“How does a man show that he is planning for the future?”
Hans shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“He buys two cases of beer,” I said and laughed at my own joke.
Hans smiled. “I know a joke too; you want to hear it?”
“Sure.”
“All right. So, a girl and a boy sit together in a bathtub. The girl looks down and asks, ‘Can I touch it?’ The boy covers his penis and says, ‘No, you already broke yours off!’” The best part of Hans’ joke was his loud hyena grin that was spiced with a snort.
I sat with a wide smile on my face and watched in amusement when he rocked back and forth, clapping his hands on his thighs.