I felt so violated.
Questions were asked that caused my cheeks to change in color. Officially, it was confirmed that I could no longer call myself a virgin. My hymen had been compromised. I had to hold the desire to fist pump the air within myself.
My excitement was quickly nipped in the bud with talk of venereal diseases. See, this doctor was obviously thorough and experienced in the land of Kiss and Tell films, because shortly after the safe sex 101 course, prompted of course by my recent deflowering, a needle was lightly stabbed into the bend of my arm. STD testing is as scary as it sounds. I've been with one man in eighteen years and I trembled with the thought, reminding me how quick I was to trust him. Thank God everything came back negative.
I look down and rub my fingertips over the healing cut in my arm. Knowing a device has been inserted there makes me feel like a science experiment, like I could be tracked. It's to prevent pregnancy they say. Whatever happened to simple pills? Apparently this has less human error and is more effective, as well as preventing pregnancy longer with little upkeep. I personally think it's strange, like an alien has tampered with me, but the doctor seemed to be an Implanon advocate, selling me on the point that it prevents pregnancy for three years; not too short and not too long. Since I have no children this was the logical way to go versus an IUD; so she says.
A knock sounds at my door and then it opens. Meredith walks into my room holding a handful of items. "Tomorrow is the big day, huh?"
She sits down beside me, the items resting on her lap. "Yeah. What's wrong?" She has this saddened expression on her face. It's unlike her. She's usually known for her witty, happy personality.
She looks at me, tears pooling in her eyes. "I'm going to miss you."
I laugh out, and then realize she's serious. "Why? I thought you'd enjoy the burden free month."
"Kambry, you're not a burden. You will never be a fucking burden. You're my best friend. Do not ever think that. I don't care if you're forty, divorced, and need a place to stay. I will always be here for you and your needs."
My lips line. That does not sound appealing at all. "As tempting as that sounds, I'll use you for other purposes. If I end up in that life just put me out of my misery when you open the door. Promise me."
A tear falls down her face at the same time she laughs out. "You're such an innocent bystander and I love you for it." She sucks up her nasal drip from her tears with an inhale. "You need this. I'm going to try not to be selfish because I know how much you need to experience life for once. I'm going to be lonely for an entire month so you can have that."
"When have you ever been lonely in the past? All of those times I was stuck at home you had no problem living without me. I'll still be working at the club, I'll still be around, and I'm sure you can even visit. This isn't goodbye, crazy, this is just see ya later."
She turns toward me and pulls her leg up on the bed, tear trails staining her face. "Okay. I'm being irrational, aren't I?"
"Nah, I've just never had a choice to participate in things like you before, and now I do. This is insane and one day I may regret it, but I really like him, Meredith. He makes me feel things that I've never felt before. I want to experience a relationship that makes me crazy, leaves me winded, and becomes a way of life. I want to feel like heated chocolate when he's near. I want to not be able to fathom anyone else because I have blinders for only him. That's the way he makes me feel, and so much more. I never had any of that with Kyle. It was like experimenting on your best friend when you learn that boys and girls kiss, preparing you for the real thing so you don't completely suck at it. I know it may only be temporary with Saxton, but I'm willing to settle for PRN than nothing at all. Fairy tales never start out with perfect conditions, right?"
"Okay. For the record, I should have snuck you out more. That's something I'll have to live with, but I knew when I left Coffee Springs if I left you behind you'd remain their puppet. They may hate me, but planting that seed was the smartest thing I've ever done. Just promise me you'll live for you this time. No one has to live with what you do in your life; only you."
I wrap my hands around her neck and pull her against me, hugging her. "I love you, Mer. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."
"I love you too, Kam. Do everything that I would do."
I laugh, a tear trying to arise in my own eye. This is silly. I push her back, trying to stop this madness. I glance back at the boxes in her hand. "What's all that?"
She smirks. "Tools."
"Tools?"
She nods. "Tools. Every woman has a toolset. I'm giving you your first. The biggest one is outside the door. I'll get it in a minute."
"Okay... I'm curious."
She hands me the small wrapped present first. It's in pink paper; my favorite color. "You do know you didn't have to get me gifts, right? I still have a month before my birthday."
She rolls her eyes. "You know better. Your birthday present will be epic awesomeness. This is mediocre. Open it."
I smile. If I ever lose her, I'll be lost. I rip it open, tossing the paper on my mattress. I stare at the black box. "Kindle? How is an eReader a tool?"
"Hello... Have you never read a romance novel?"
"I tried to read Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte once, since it's a classic. I couldn't really get into it. Not because it wasn’t good. People spoke weird back then. It was hard to comprehend. It was really unfortunate because many love it. I felt dumb."
"Wuthering Heights? Are we in English class? What? Kambry, did your mother not even let you read modern literature?"
"I couldn't read, watch, or listen to anything with sensitive material. She checked my stuff regularly. She said it gave me ideas and was society's way of trying to make conservative people extinct by tainting the minds of youth."
She blinks at me as she shakes her head. "Uh, not everything has sex in it. What about Nicholas Sparks? He's been my favorite romance writer since I entered into teenybopper years. My mom isn't a floozy and didn't condone teenage promiscuity, but she let me fucking read material written for a younger audience until I was a senior. Aren't parents supposed to motivate you to read? We've been told it makes us smarter since we started school."
I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. I tried to read Twilight by Stephanie Meyer when everyone was talking about it and when she found it in my room she threw it away, saying I wasn't reading that fictional garbage. She said God wouldn't be happy with me reading about someone that kills people and drinks blood. I didn't try again because I was heartbroken that I never got to finish it. It was good."
"I swear I fucking hate your mother." She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "Meredith, be nice. Be nice. Be fucking nice." She opens them again after giving herself a pep talk. I don't blame her. I dislike my mom at times too. She grabs the Kindle out of my hand and holds the box up for me to see, her other hand introducing it. "Kambry, meet Kindle. Kindle, this is Kambry. You will be responsible for her knowledge of the twenty-first century, because her parents failed her miserably."
I bite my bottom lip, trying not to laugh at her. Really, it's more pathetic than funny. "Kambry, my little innocent bunny, I need you to forget everything you've ever been told aside from church, school, and the news. If your parents said it in regards to the world we live in, there is a fifty percent chance it's all lies."
She pauses. "Let me see how fast I can bring you up to speed. Is it best to remain sex free until you take the oath of marriage? Yes it is; the bible tells us so...but given the fact that neither of us did, let's move on. Less sex partners is good. Being nasty is bad. Think before you fuck. Alcohol spurs bad decisions. Condoms serve a purpose. In normal conditions, glove it until you love it. You should be good now that you've discovered neither of you carry diseases. When sperm meets egg, babies are formed more times than not. Keep that motto and you'll be okay. Birth control works most of the time. Dick does not contain a magical elixir to cure the common cold. I don't care what any guy says. In th
e end he just wants his dick sucked. If he's on top of you when he says he loves you for the first time then he's lying. Sex is not a race. He should at least try to get you off first, even if shit happens. A for effort, but if he doesn't even try he fucking failed and should work harder to bring up his grade. I think that about covers the basics. Any questions before I move on?"
I lick my lips. My eyes are misbehaving even though my mouth is being good. "And this is related to the eReader in your hand how?"
"I'm getting there. Don't you come home and tell me I'm going to be a grandma or you have something incurable. I'm still young. Tell me you understand safe and mature sex. Then we will add the spice."
I grab the collar of my tee shirt and pull it over my mouth. "Yes, mother," I retort, silencing my laughter with the fabric.
She looks at the Kindle. "Now, you get to do your job. Don't disappoint me." She thrusts the box toward me. "This is like the romance version of the Kama Sutra."
"The what?"
She lightly slaps my face. "Don't you dare." I grip my face, shocked. "Even nuns know what the Kama Sutra is. It is the Holy Grail when it comes to sex. I taught you better than that."
I take the stupid Kindle. "You're psycho."
"But I'll never be forgotten."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"Take it out. Introduce yourself. You already have the vibrator packed, right?"
I begin opening the box. "Meredith, why in the hell would I need a vibrator? I'm about to film a series of porn shows! I don't think I'm going to be lacking in the 'O' department."
"It's called teasing, boo. No one wants an overkill of sugar. At some point you have to add the cayenne to heat things up. The things you will find hidden in the words will shock your innocent ass. Now, I have already logged your device in to my kindle account since it will most likely collect dust otherwise. Give it a try one night before bed, but I must warn you... Some things are fantasy. Logic, darling, logic. If it sounds a little out there it most likely is. Don't shove your finger in Saxton's ass unless he asks you to. I'm still learning west coast boys, but I think it's safe to say that most heterosexual guys do not like things in their ass. Back home, you may come back one less finger. There is a reason prison is scary."
I crumple my face, my eyes widened. She just continues like none of this is odd to discuss. "It is not a one size fits all with the shit you will read in these books, but your library of knowledge should be vast even if you don't use it all."
My mouth falls. My finger is not doing any such thing. That's just nasty. "Wait, since when do you read? You hated school. Why have I never heard any of this?"
She splays her hand over her chest, her fingers gaping. Prepare for the drama. I can see it on her face. "I, Kambry, am a melting pot. I am filled with different things, likes, and hobbies. I do not discriminate in any culture. I embrace the differences, by choosing the things I like from each, and that makes up me. Do I like to read history books? Hell no. Do I like to read a steamy romance with an epic love story? You bet your fucking ass I do. I may be young, but I am not naive. The stuff I house in my head would shock you. Now, for the love, just read a fucking book. Moving on. I'm aging as we speak."
"By all means."
I place the half opened Kindle beside me as she hands me the larger box. It looks like a clothing box. "This is for Saxton. You will thank me later."
She places it on my lap. It's wrapped in a thick white paper; with a black ribbon wrapped around both ends meeting to form a bow at the center, and stuck just beneath it is a silver, oval tag. The script black wording on the front reads, SINcerly Yours.
My fingers brush over the letters, remembering that day in the sex shop; my first time. What followed though was even better. My brows scrunch, and then I look at her. "Please tell me you didn't get a whip or something. Gray always comes between white and black. I'm not quite ready for the dark side yet."
"Oh, hell, just open it. You're such a nut sometimes. Just remember...I never forget anything."
I turn the box over and grip the ribbon, pulling until I break the taped seal, freeing the box, then waste no time unwrapping the beautifully wrapped package. It feels like Christmas in August. I'm not used to being this spoiled. When I pull off the top of the cardboard gift box, a hot pink fabric is nestled in black tissue. The color intrigues me, but I pause, slightly scared to remove it.
"Go ahead, little bunny, earn your Playboy ears," she says with a light, teasing tone.
I grab the satin straps with my fingers, pulling it free from the box. As it falls open, my stomach starts to flutter. "You want me to wear this?"
"Saxton does," she says, without me looking at her.
It's a sexy babydoll. The fabric is a hot pink satin, and short but loose. The triangle portions that cover the breasts are clearly revealing for a busty girl like me, and layered with a black, lace overlay, the pink showing through. Between the two breasts is a small, black bow with a crystal in the center, giving it a little sparkle as the light hits it. It's beautiful, but makes me nervous. When would I wear something like this? You don't just randomly walk out in sexy lingerie. Usually it's for a birthday or anniversary, anything but at random. What am I supposed to do, just be waiting in it when he comes home and opens the door?
The sound of tissue crinkling pulls my attention to Meredith. She's dangling a black, lace thong from her index finger. "Missing something?"
I grab it from her and inspect it. The fabric seems legit. Neither looks cheaply made. This looks like designer. "Meredith, how much did you spend on this?"
"Nothing."
"Don't lie to me or be literal. Fine, how much did your dad's credit card pay for this?"
Meredith's parents aren't hurting for money, but I don't want for her to do anything else for me. I already live here rent-free. Her dad is a pharmacist over his own drugstore in our hometown, so he already does well for himself, but where he made enough to pretty much set their whole family was when they found oil on land that's been in her family for years, handed down from generation to generation. Black gold that stuff is.
As if that isn't enough, her mom owns a small boutique in town. It started over Meredith's love for being one hundred percent girly, developing a fashion obsession early on, and to keep her from boredom during the day since she didn’t have to work, but has actually done quite well being in a small town with a driving distance to the bigger town with all of the shopping malls. People want convenience more times than not. Plus, boutiques have really taken off over the last few years because they just have cuter stuff.
"Actually, Daddy didn't pay for that. Don't make me sound like a spoiled, rich princess. I've worked part time since I was allowed to get a job. Just because my dad makes good money and allows me to splurge occasionally doesn't mean I take advantage."
"You have a point, but how much do I owe you?"
"I didn't buy that, Saxton did," she says with a shrug.
"What? I'm sorry."
She rolls her eyes as if I'm just playing dumb for attention. "The deal was if we brought back an autographed DVD, she would give you an outfit." She hands me a medium sized gift bag. "This goes with that."
I quickly open it. It's a pair of stilettos in black with the same black lace overlay to match the outfit. "All this for one DVD? I thought she was joking. It can't be worth all that. I'm not buying it."
"Oh girl, that was for just one. There is something else because I brought back both with an autograph and didn’t ask for a refund. After seeing you not so casually shimmy away the night we tried to watch it, I knew you weren't going to, so there was no need in keeping it around. Next time just say, 'Meredith, I'm jealous and can't watch the mega hot hunk I'm crushing on lay pipe in another girl's ditch,' and I'll turn it off. You are ridiculously obvious."
"I'm not that ba-"
"Oh, and by the way, his dick must be valuable," she says with a wink. "I took a photo for authenticity while he signed them and had them printed b
efore I went back." She taps her finger to her temple. "Smart, this one. The things that boy will do for your pussy is amazing, considering..."
"Oh, god. What's the other one?"
She stands now that her lap is empty. "Be right back."
She disappears temporarily and then comes back inside with a large basket full of things, wrapped in that clear gift-wrap, as well as an oversized tote bag. My eyes enlarge as I take in its size. I shake my head. For an autograph on two DVDs? Maybe if it was an autograph by a player in the NFL, MLB, or NBA, but come on…a porn star? That's insane. "What on earth is in that thing?"
She sets it on the bed and we both peek inside. "I'm not completely sure under the top items, but she said it's her ultimate naughty gift pack. She doesn't sell a ton she said, because of the hefty price tag, and that usually it's a bridal gift or uppity customer with the cash to spend. When I gave her the DVDs and the photos with your measurements, she made it up really quick. I know it has like seven bra and panty sets, some toys, and hell I don't know. She said there is a lot of shit in there for play with your man."
"That's awkward." I start to panic. It's all hitting me at the last minute. "Meredith, maybe I didn't think this through. I don't know how to be sexy or seductive. I don't know how to be out there like you. I'm socially awkward. We both know this."
She grabs my face in her hands, shushing me. "Little bunny..."
"Is this a new term you've stumbled upon?"
"It's the truth. You're like a little scared bunny, petrified and hiding from the fox. Dig deep within and change your spirit animal."
"You've watched The couples retreat way too many times," I interrupt. "I should have never bought that stack of movies from the five-dollar bin at Wal-Mart. It's going to your head."
She scoffs. "Don't make fun because you don't understand. That shit is golden."
Sex Sessions: Uncut (Camera Tales #1) Page 23