Season Of Passion (1980)

by Steel, Danielle

  Ready to roll! He sat looking ahead, but he was holding Willie less ferociously now, and Kate smiled to herself as she started the car again.

  Hungry? She knew they weren't far from the Hippo on Van Ness, but he shook his head. Ice cream? The head turned, and there was a smile in his eyes. A small nod. Then ice cream it is. That was perfect. She'd stop at Swensen's on Hyde Street on die way to Licia's. Licia was waiting for them at the apartment. And she was as anxious as Kate.

  Kate parked the car outside Swensen's on Union and Hyde, and as they got out and stretched, two cable cars came clanking down Hyde. Look! Tygue jumped up and down waving his bear. Look, Mom! It's a ' a ' He could hardly stand it, and his mother grinned. Everything would be all right after all. And the ice cream was terrific. A double scoop of rocky road and banana, sugar cone, and chocolate dip. Tygue was already wearing most of it on his nose and chin when they left the store, and another cable car came down the hill. She could hardly get him back in the car.

  We'll go for a ride later. But first, she had another idea. Two of them. The steepest hill. The crookedest street. They were near both.

  The steepest hill did not impress him, but he loved the crookedest street as they inched their way down the narrow, winding brick road banked with flowers and bordered with pastel-hued Victorian houses. Tygue loved it so much he almost forgot the ice cream dripping on his bear. He happily licked a gob of chocolate off Willie's ear.

  Tygue, yerghk!

  Uh uh, yummy! He was happy again. What's that? He settled back in his seat and pointed ahead to Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill.

  That's a memorial to the fire department. It's called Coit Tower, and it's right near Aunt Licia.

  Can we go see it?

  Sure. But first let's see what Aunt Licia has planned.

  This is fun.

  And so was the rest of the trip. They did everything. Hippo dinners, picnics at Stinson Beach, the wax museum, Fisherman's Wharf, ten or fifteen rides on the cable car, the aquarium, the planetarium, Chinatown, and the Japanese Garden in the park. It was sheer heaven, and by the following Saturday, Tygue knew San Francisco better than most children who had lived there for years.

  Wei], champ? What do you think? Gonna ditch your Mom and come live with me here? They were all sprawled out on Felicia's impeccable, white, living-room rug eating popcorn. For the first time all week, they had been too tired to go out. Felicia had agreed to order pizza. It had been totally Tygue's week, and both women were exhausted. They smiled at each other over his head.

  You know, Aunt Licia. Tygue was looking thoughtfully out at the Bay Bridge just beyond the terrace. When I grow up, I might come up here and work on the cable car.

  Great idea, champ.

  And if you buy him his own real one for Christmas. Licia, I'll kill you, Kate laughed at the thought, as she shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth

  When do you think you guys'll be back?

  Kate shrugged, looking down at Tygue. I don't know. We'll see. She had been neglecting Tom lately, and she had some ideas for a new book. I really ought to do some work. And I've got Tygue set up with a group that's going to ride every day at the Adams ranch until school starts in the fall.

  And the book? Leave it to Felicia to bring that up. She had been trying not to think of it. Publication date was only a few days away.

  That's their problem now. I wrote it. Now they can sell it.

  That simple, eh? Felicia raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Kate. You wrote it, and that's it. Did it ever occur to you that they're going to want your help selling it?

  How about door to door? Kate lay on the floor with a giggle.

  You know what they want. Felicia was not going to be pushed oft the track. Not that easily. She had waited weeks to bring it up.

  How do I know what they want? And that's not the point.

  Oh really? Then what is the point? What you want?

  Maybe. I don't see why I should do anything that makes me uncomfortable.

  Don't be an ass, Kate. Tygue got up and snapped on the TV, He was bored. He removed die bowl of popcorn and took it with him, and there was nothing left for Kate to hide in. She looked up at Felicia, and then out at the view. You heard me. And you're crazy if you don't do promotion work on the book. This is your big chance. You've made it. This time. If you capitalize on that now, your next book will be even bigger. And then you'll be a permanent fixture in the realm of literary successes. But this is your tryout, kiddo. Blow this one, and you'll never have the chance again. You can't afford to ignore it

  How do you know that's what they want? The book can sell itself.

  You're crazy. You're throwing your career away. And you know as well as I do that that's what you want. And you can do it, dammit. You've got everything it takes to make it. Everything. Looks, brains, and talent

  But no balls.

  Bullshit You're just so busy hiding them from yourself, you've forgotten you have them. And you know that's true. Besides, look what you've done in the last month. You've been up here twice. You're not a hermit anymore, Kate, and you know it You don't even want to be.

  This is different though, Licia. This isn't public. I'm not sticking my face out there on television, asking for someone to throw a pie in it. Or worse, put a knife through my heart Or Tygue's. She said it softly, so the boy couldn't hear. But he was wrapped up in the program he was watching on the huge color TV. I'm just not going to take that chance, Licia.

  You're a tough woman to argue with, damn you. Because if you did do it, and something went wrong, I'd feel like shit

  So would I. That's why I won't do it

  But think how much fun it would be.

  Would it? I'm not so sure. It wasn't really fun for Tom.

  Yes it was.

  Not really.

  Maybe not for you. But it was for him. It's got to be. It's got to be the biggest high in the world.

  I'm happier without it

  And lonelier too.'

  Licia, my love, success is no antidote for loneliness.

  Maybe not. But doesn't it turn you on to see all the ads for your book? Christ, lady, it'll be out in three days. Doesn't that knock you on your ass?

  Kate grinned up at her friend sheepishly. It sort of does.

  See what I mean. And think what would happen if you did some publicity appearances! Felicia was at it again, and Kate held up a hand with a grin and a shake of the head.

  Enough. Basta! No more! But Felicia would never stop and they both knew it.

  Maybe Weinberg will change your mind.

  But this time Kate shook her head with a look of assurance. Not a chance. And he's too smart to try.

  Kate and Tygue left San Francisco early Sunday afternoon. Felicia had taken the week off to be with them, but she was going back to work the next day, and Tygue was scheduled to start his riding group the following morning. And there was Tom. Poor Tom. He hadn't had a visit in almost two weeks. She had been so busy before she left. She would go up to see him first thing the next morning. It was a little crazy driving all this way down on Sunday, and then halfway back up on Monday. But there was no other way to do it. She couldn't take Tygue with her to Mead.

  Mom?

  What, sweetheart? They were just easing into the Sunday-afternoon traffic leaving the city.

  Can we come back?

  I told you we could.

  Soon? She smiled over at him and nodded.

  Soon.

  And then he giggled to himself and she looked over at him again.

  What's up?

  I can't wait to see Bert.

  She laughed at the thought too. Neither can I. It would be good to get home. All these expeditions were exhausting. For a minute, she was reminded of the traveling she had once done with Tom. That had been exhausting too. She wondered how she had done it. Constantly packing, flying, driving, staying in hotels. But he had always made it fun. An adventure. A honeymoon.

  What were you thinking?

/>   How much fun I used to have taking trips with your dad. She was surprised at herself for saying it. She rarely spoke of Tom to Tygue. The subject was better left alone. And he knew she didn't like to talk about it. All he knew was that his father had died. In an accident. Before he was born. He had never even asked what Tom did for a living. But one day he would. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it. She'd come up with some lie like all the others. She'd have to.

  Did you take a lot of trips?

  Some. She was closing up again.

  Like to where? Now he was all boy, settling down in his seat with Willie, wanting to hear about her adventures. The way he looked made her laugh.

  Lots of places. We went to Cleveland once. Their first weekend together. Why had she told him that? Why had she thought of it? She felt a wave of pain turn over slowly in her heart.

  Was it neat?

  Yes, very neat. It's not a very pretty place, but your father made it pretty. Tygue looked bored. Pretty was for girls.

  Did you ever go to New York? Felicia was going there soon, and he had heard them talk about it.

  Yes, with my mom and dad. Never with your dad.

  Mom?

  What, sweetheart? She prayed it wouldn't be a tough one to answer. Not today. Not now. She felt so good, she wanted the mood to last.

  How come all your people are dead? Your mom and dad, and my dad? How come? And the strangest part of it was that none of them really were but they might as well have been.

  I don't know. It just happens that way sometimes. But I have you. She smiled over at him.

  And Willie and Bert, and Aunt Licia. And we're never gonna die. Maybe Aunt Licia will. But we won't. Right, Willie? He looked down at the bear seriously, and then up at his mother. He says right. She smiled at them both, and reached over a hand to rumple his hair.

  I love you a lot, hotstuff.

  I love you too. But he said it in a low, little voice, as though afraid someone might hear. It made her laugh, and feel good about life as she brought her eyes back to the road. They rode on in silence for a while, and the next time she looked at him, he was asleep. They had just passed Carmel, and three hours later they were home. They picked up Bert on the way, at Tillie's place, and had a comfortable dinner at their own kitchen table.

  Right after dinner Tygue was ready for bed, and less than an hour later, so was she. She didn't even bother to unpack or open her mail. She just took off her clothes and piled into bed. And it felt like only an hour later when the phone rang, but the sun was already shining brightly, and she could hear Tygue clattering around somewhere in the house. It took her four rings to get to the phone. It was Stu Weinberg.

  I thought you said you didn't go anywhere.

  I don't. She tried to force herself awake and at the same time sound pleasant.

  I've called. I've written. I thought maybe you died. I would have committed hara-kiri on my desk.

  Bad as that, huh? Anything wrong? Jesus. What if they were canceling those contracts? Suddenly she was wide awake.

  Of course not. Nothing's wrong. Everything's right. The book is coming out in two days. Or had you forgotten? No. But she was trying to.

  I hadn't forgotten. But she sounded wary now.

  We have something to talk about, Kate. Oh God. And first thing in the morning yet. Before coffee.

  Oh?

  You've had a wonderful offer.

  Another one? Her eyes opened wide. Good Lord. What now? The movie rights in Japan? She grinned.

  Yup. Another one. We got a call from the Case Show,'

  Jasper Case?

  You bet. And they'd like you on it. It's a marvelous opportunity for the book. We're all very excited.

  Who's we're all'? She sounded distant and suspicious.

  The people who care about the book, Kate. He rattled off the names of her editors, and the publishers. Not to mention the movie guys. This could do beautiful things for the book. Silence. Kate?

  Yeah.

  What are you thinking?

  About what I told you.

  I think you'd be wrong not to do it. I kind of think this is one of those things you have to grit your teeth and do. For the sake of God and country, lady. And the book. The book, the book, damn the book. Case is a hell of a nice guy. He's a good place to start. Easygoing, mellow, very correct. He's English.

  I know. I watch the show. It was the best late-night show on, and the whole country watched it. And Jasper Case was a gentleman. She had never seen him make anyone uncomfortable. But what about the people who watched it? What if someone saw her and remembered? Oh Christ. Who the hell was going to remember a tall skinny brown-haired kid who'd dragged around behind Tom Harper? Who knew? Who cared? I'll do it

  I'm so glad, Kate. He rolled his eyes and wiped a thin veil of sweat off his forehead. They've made some terrific arrangements. They've scheduled you for a week from today. And they thought you might like to come down and stay at the Beverly Hills Hotel. They booked it for that Monday night. You can come down in the morning and relax a little bit. Someone from the show will join us for lunch, and give you an idea of who's on the show that night, what to expect. They'll get a feel for what you want to talk about and what you don't You call the shots. And then you sit around the swimming pool all afternoon or get your hair done or do whatever you want to do. The show is taped at seven, and shown later. But after the taping, at nine, your time is your own. We'll have dinner or something, to celebrate. And that's it You spend the night, you go home the next day. Painless.

  Sounds like a damn pleasant way to lose my virginity. She was smiling at her end of the phone. Weinberg had done it. And they both knew it He'd had her pegged from the start, had known just how to handle her. Damn.

  Kate, trust me. You're going to love it. Now they were both laughing.

  If I don't, do I get my money back?

  Sure, baby. Sure. Don't forget. A week from Monday. Oh, and by the way, the L.A. Times wanted an interview. How do you feel about that? She hesitated for a long moment.

  No.

  Vogue

  Jesus. What the hell is happening, Stu?

  A lot more than you realize, m'dear. Or want to. All right, what about this one? He mentioned an inane women's magazine. No photographs, just a nice quiet interview over lunch on Tuesday.

  Okay, okay. You drive a hard bargain. How many more of those do you have to throw at me? Tell die truth now! She sounded as though she were talking to Tygue.

  Nine magazines, five newspapers, and three other talk shows. And one radio show in Chicago. They'll tape it by phone. If you'd read your mail, love, you'd know all about it.

  I've been away. She said it sheepishly.

  Any place fun?

  San Francisco.

  Terrific. We have an interview up there, if you want it. You can go back whenever you want.

  Christ, Stu. I'm not ready for this.

  That's what I'm here for. You let me be the buffer. Right now all you have to deal with is one thing The Jasper Case Show.' The rest can wait. Try your wings out with Case. And then we'll see. Sound reasonable?

  Very. Oh God. She was panicking again. What'll I wear?

  Stu Weinberg started to laugh. They had it made.

  If she was worrying about what to wear, they were home free. Sweetheart, go naked if you want to. Just enjoy it.

  Five minutes later, Kate was on the phone to Felicia, who sat at her desk with her mouth open and her eyes wide. You're going to be what?

  On The Jasper Case Show Kate almost sounded proud. What the hell had that man done to talk her into it? Mentally, Felicia took her hat off to him. What the hell should I wear?

  But Felicia only smiled at the phone. Kate, baby, I love you.

  Chapter 15

  The car slowed to a halt in front of the covered entranceway to the hotel. Instantly, a doorman and three porters approached the car. Three? For a station wagon? Kate glanced around nervously. She had brought only one very small bag. She smiled une
asily at one of the porters, but he remained expressionless as she got out. He slid behind the wheel of the car as the other porter grabbed her bag. The third disappeared, and the doorman stood there looking impressive as a bright red Rolls Royce and a black Jaguar sedan pulled up behind her. A veritable fleet of porters appeared for them. And at the same time there was a constant hum of activity. Suitcases, golf clubs, armsful of mink whizzing by, anonymous cars arriving and departing, and a constant touching of hands with the doorman. As Kate fumbled in her handbag, she looked up quickly to see what the man nearest her was giving the porter, and she gasped as she thought she saw ten dollars changing hands. Ten dollars? Oh God, she prayed she hadn't said it aloud. Another glance to her left and she caught a glimpse of a five. It was insane. It had been ten years since she'd handled this sort of thing when she traveled with Tom. But five and ten bucks to the porter? Things couldn't have changed that much in seven years. But this was Hollywood. The outfits alone told her that.

  The people disembarking from their cars were wearing blue jeans that seemed to be soldered to their souls, equally tight shirts left open to the waist, vast quantities of gold jewelry, and a fair amount of bright, flashy silk, which clung and dripped and draped over starlet bodies and middle-aged men. And here and there, a dark suit hurrying into the hotel, presumably to launch into metamorphosis and emerge again in jeans.

  Reservation, ma'am?

  Hm? She was startled from her staring by the porter. She realized that she looked out of place. She had worn a simple white cotton dress from the batch of possibilities Felicia had sent her from the store. It had a careful V at the neck, which she had thought too low, but down here didn't even count, delicate little white sandals, and her hair was looped into an easy knot on top of her head. She looked deeply tanned and relaxed, and as though she were going to have lunch next to the tennis courts in Palm Springs, not compete with the sex symbols of Hollywood. The thought made her smile. And then she remembered the porter again. Sorry. Oh yes. I have a reservation. He walked quickly inside and she followed him along the open but protected breezeway flanked by pillars on either side. Between the pillars frothed tiny jungles of exotica, strewn there in the thirties, when the women slithered into the hotel in ermines and diamonds instead of blue jeans and mink.