Good-bye, with Love

by Niquel

  “Hi Mrs. Gates, would you like to come in? My mom and dad are in the dining room.”

  “Sure, thank you, Michelle.”

  I’d never seen Johnny’s face turn beet red before. It was pretty funny. His mom was very pretty. Her brown hair was swept across her forehead and the rest was cut short, framing her head. She wore huge costume jewelry around her neck and had a long black coat on with black heels. I see where Johnny gets his good looks from.

  My mom and dad came to the front and introduced themselves. Our moms seemed to hit it off and complimented each other on their outfits. Mom handed her a bag with two containers of soup it in. “Thank you so much. I’ll make sure we get this Tupperware back to you as soon as possible.”

  “It’s not a big deal, we’ve got plenty.”

  “Thank you. So you ready to go, kid?”

  Johnny looked over at me and looked bummed. It was obvious he didn’t want to go, but I knew he also didn’t want things to get weird since our parents were surrounding us.

  “Yeah, thanks for dinner. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Mickey.”

  I stood in the doorway and watched as they disappeared into his mom’s car. “He seems like a good kid, Mickey.”

  “Yeah, I haven’t known him very long, but we’re connected, Mom.”

  “That’s good honey, I hope you guys remain friends for a long time.”

  “Me too.”

  Age: Twelve

  Diary Entry: Meet the Parents

  Dear Diary,

  Today was interesting. Johnny surprised me and came by to visit. He gave me this cool friendship bracelet and I plan on wearing it FOREVER. It’s the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time. My mom actually invited him to stay for dinner and made potato soup, which was weird. She never makes that on the first meeting, so she must know how important he is to me. She met his mom and gave them some to take home with them.

  It seemed like our moms hit it off and I hope we all can get to hang out together. That would be so cool. I’m trying to enjoy everything while I can because I have another chemo treatment coming up and I hope it doesn’t drain me like the other one did. I think I might ask if Johnny can come to this one. It would make me feel a lot better. I don’t know why, but I think he’d make it a lot easier to get through.

  That’s all I got for now diary.

  Mickey

  Johnny and I spent every single day with each other since the first day we met. We were hanging out so much that our moms started to become close too. His mom actually invited my family over for dinner, which was nice of her.

  I hadn’t told Johnny about my chemo treatment the next day yet, but I knew when I did he’d make everything seem okay. I needed to find the right time to tell him about it, and dinner that night would be perfect.

  As I sat in homeroom I was bored out of my mind. Sarah hadn’t come to school that day and I was starting to worry a bit. It wasn’t like her not to come to school. Even if she was sick she’d come in and get sent home over missing an entire day.

  The bell for next period rang and I took my time walking to my science class. I knew I’d be face-to-face with Johnny and didn’t want to seem too eager to be around him.

  I sat down in my science class and stared off into space. At some point Johnny came in, but I didn’t notice him until he was standing in front of me waving the sleeve of his leather jacket in front of my face. “Hey, are you here with me? Earth to Mickey!”

  “Hey, sorry, I didn’t see you come in.”

  “Are you all right?”

  “Do you want the truth?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m okay, I guess? I don’t know.”

  “Well whatever is bothering you, we can talk about it after school, that way you’ll have my full attention, all right?”

  “Sure.”

  The teacher told everyone to take their seats and everything she said after that was a blur. I couldn’t focus on anything, knowing what I’d be going through again the next day. I almost wanted to run into the bathroom and cry until the end of the day.

  I grabbed my things and ran out of class before the bell rang and heard Johnny yelling behind me. I went into the girl’s bathroom and went into an empty stall. I knew he wouldn’t be crazy enough to follow me in there. I put the toilet seat down, climbed up on the metal bars, and sat down on them, resting my feet on the lid.

  Tears fell from my eyes and no matter how many I wiped away, a bunch more came in their place. There was a light knock on the door followed by a voice I hadn’t expected to hear. “Mickey? I know you’re in there. What’s going on with you? I hope you didn’t think I wouldn’t follow my friend in here, especially when I know something is bothering her.”

  “Go away, Johnny.”

  “No. You either let me in or I’m climbing over the door,” he said, giving the locked door a shake.

  “Fine.” I climbed down and unlocked the door, quickly returning back to the metal bars.

  “What’s going on with you today? You were okay last night, and now all of a sudden you’re acting all weird. Why are you crying?”

  “I’m scared, Johnny, okay? I’m freakin’ scared.”

  “Of what?”

  “Chemo.”

  “Oh, Mickey. Do you have your next treatment soon?”

  “Tomorrow.” He grabbed my hand, pulled me back down to the floor, and put his arms around me.

  “I’ll go with you. I’ll hold your hand if you need me to.” I do; I need him more than he’ll ever know.

  “So are you sure you can come tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure my mom can drop me off at your house before you leave. What time’s your appointment?”

  “Three o’clock.”

  “I’ll be there, I promise.”

  Something was wrong with Mickey and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. She stormed off after science class, completely avoiding me, and ran into the girl’s bathroom. I had no problems going in there to get to her because I knew something was bothering her. I asked one of the girls to check in there for me and make sure no one else was in there before I went in. She gave me the all clear and I went inside to find her. She was in the very last stall and I threatened to climb over it, so she let me in.

  Her face was covered with tears and her hands were wet from trying to stop them. She admitted she was due for another chemo treatment and my heart skipped a beat.

  I held her in my arms and let her know that everything would be okay. It made me sad to see her so upset over this, though I was sure if I were in her shoes I’d be freaking out too. An idea popped into my head as I held her close, taking in a big whiff of her familiar cotton candy scent.

  “I know what will cheer you up. I’m going to write you a letter, but I don’t want you to read it until you get home later tonight, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

  I opened the door and grabbed some paper towels from the towel rack to clean her face. “I can’t let you go back into the world a hot mess.” She smiled as I cleaned her face. “Now get to class. I’ll see you after school.”

  “Okay. Thank you, Johnny.”

  I snuck back out of the girl’s bathroom unseen and went to my next class. I had to think long and hard about what I’d write her.

  I’d been a complete mess most of the day. I stopped crying before I left the bathroom and kept to myself for the rest of the day. Marceline could tell something was off at lunch, but didn’t bug me about it. I asked her if she’d heard from Sarah, but she hadn’t and was just as shocked as I was that she wasn’t there.

  I thought about what Johnny had told me in the bathroom earlier and was excited to see what he’d write me. I’d had a pen pal from Africa once in fourth grade, but she’d stopped writing me when I’d started middle school. I loved writing; it helped me express things I couldn’t normally say to people face to face.

  I met up with Johnny after school and he handed me a folde
d up piece of notebook paper. “I can’t stay after today, but I want you to read this and then you can email me or write me back later, whichever you choose.”

  “Okay. Here, take my book. You’ll need it more than me.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be okay. Take it!”

  Once I got home, I ran upstairs to my room to take a nap. I was so tired that I’d almost fallen asleep in the car on the way home.

  Several hours later I awoke and remembered the note Johnny had given me. I was so nervous to read it, so I sat on the edge of my bed, rolling the folded piece of paper in between my fingers.

  Here goes nothing . . .

  Dear Mickey,

  I know you think having chemo may be the end of the world, but it’s not. I’ve only known you for a few short weeks, but I can tell you are so strong Mickey. I want you to look in the mirror, yes right now. You’re a girl and I’m sure you have one in your room somewhere. Now do you see what I see? Strength. The girl that wears a different knit hat every single day is strong. She may not realize it, but she inspires me. She inspires me to live life every day and to not be afraid. Life’s too short to worry about every little what if.

  I’ll be there to hold your hand tomorrow, and any time you need me after that. I’ll always be there Mickey. ALWAYS.

  Good-bye, with love.

  Johnny.

  P.S. Yes I know I spelled good-bye with a dash, but it’ll be our little secret. Smile, you deserve it! ;)

  I read Johnny’s letter over and over again until the sun came up. I couldn’t sleep and reading his note made me feel so much better. Strength. Inspired. Those two words stood out to me the most. How could someone like me inspire him? I wrote him a letter back and planned on giving it to him later on.

  On the days I had chemo I didn’t have to go to school if I didn’t want to, so I decided to stay home and take a nap. It would also help to ease my fears a little.

  I didn’t know what it was, but I had a feeling Mickey wouldn’t be going to school that day. I went to homeroom like normal and once I walked into the science class and she wasn’t there, my heart sank. I didn’t pay attention to anything the teacher said, but I did manage to grab the homework assignment for me and Mickey before I left. I let Mrs. Small know I’d be seeing her later that day and she said it was okay to bring her the homework assignment, that she could turn it in whenever she had the chance.

  Without her there, I felt like something was missing. I had no desire to finish the rest of the school day, so I asked Mom if she could come get me. Surprisingly, she did.

  I plopped down on my bed and set my alarm for two; I didn’t want to be late going to Mickey’s house. As I lay back on my bed, I wondered what she thought about my letter. I hoped I hadn’t made her feel weird by saying she inspired, me because she truly did.

  I woke up to Mom yelling at me to get up a few minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I jumped out of bed and slid my sneakers back on. “I’m coming Mom, chill!”

  I ran down the stairs as she was waiting for me on the porch. “Took you long enough. I don’t want you to make the poor girl late for her own appointment!”

  “I would never do that!”

  “Sure, let’s go. I grabbed you a burger and fries from The Burger Hut. It’s in the back seat.”

  “Thanks Mom,” I said as I started stuffing my face.

  Mickey didn’t live too far from us, so as soon as I finished my fries we were pulling into her driveway. Her mom was standing on the porch and waved at our car as we pulled up beside her van.

  Mom rolled down the window as Mrs. Dawson approached us. “Hey Melinda how are you?” she said.

  “Good. How’s Michelle feeling today?”

  “Okay, a little nervous. That’s to be expected though. I know she’ll be okay once she sees her best friend.” She smiled and waved to me in the back seat.

  “Hi Mrs. Dawson. You look nice today.”

  “Such a gentleman. You can go inside Johnny, she’s sitting on the couch.”

  “Thanks,” I said, stuffing my empty wrappers back into the greasy bag while sliding out of the back seat. I walked as fast as I could up the driveway and into the house.

  “Mickey, you in here?”

  “Over here, Johnny. Glad you could make it.”

  “Me too. I promised I’d always be there and I meant it.”

  Johnny sat beside me in the back of my mom’s van and it calmed me down a bit for the time being. I knew he’d said his grandma had gone through this, but I wasn’t sure how much of it he’d actually seen before. Did he see her after she was diagnosed? Or when the treatment started? Or was it at the very end when she knew she wasn’t going to make it? I was going to ask him when the time was right.

  I had a weird feeling about the day and I couldn’t figure out why.

  As we pulled up to the hospital, I handed Johnny the note and told him not to read it until later. I wanted to be completely done with my treatment for the day before I got nervous about his response again.

  Nurse Sydney greeted us in the waiting room and told Mom and Johnny to sit tight until I was hooked up and ready to go.

  “So who’s your friend?” Sydney whispered in my ear.

  “That’s Johnny, he’s a friend of mine from school.”

  “Just a friend? He’s very cute and it’s obvious he cares about you.”

  “Just a friend, my best friend actually, and I care about him too.”

  “I see. Well would you like him to come in with you? Or is he going to sit with your mom in the waiting area?”

  “He can come in. He promised to hold my hand through this today and I truly need him to. I’m not feeling that well today.”

  The nurse wrapped the cuff around my arm and squeezed until she got her reading. “Your blood pressure is very low today. Have you been feeling dizzy at all?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry. I hope the meds won’t drain you too much today.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Dr. R will be right in. I’ll go grab your mom and your friend.”

  The doctor finished hooking up a bag to her arm as we walked into the room. She looked like she was starting to fall asleep as I walked over to her. There was a chair right beside the bed and her arm was dangling beside it. I sat down and wrapped my fingers around hers. She gave me a weak smile and I placed my head on the bed beside her.

  Next thing I knew the nurse was waking me up while the doctor unhooked the bag of medicine from her.

  “How long was I out?”

  “About three hours. You both slept right through the entire treatment.”

  I looked over at Mickey and she was still fast asleep. Then I looked around the room and noticed that her mom must have slipped out while we were sleeping because she was nowhere to be found. “Where did her mom go?”

  “I have no idea. Maybe she went to grab a coffee or something for dinner. Would you mind stepping out into the hall? I’m going to wake her up so she can get dressed,” the nurse said.

  “Oh—well—of course, I’d—uh—be back in a minute, Mickey,” I whispered in her ear before I walked out the door.

  I saw Mickey’s mom coming down the hall with a tray of drinks and a couple bags in her hands. “Here, let me help you with those Mrs. Dawson.”

  “Thank you, Johnny. You’re such a sweet kid. I knew she’d be okay if I left you two alone. You were both passed out before the medicine could have entered her body.”

  “Guess we were both worn out today.”

  “I’d say so. Listen, Johnny. I’m going to be honest with you for a moment. I don’t normally allow boys to hang around with her like this, but for some reason you seem different. Promise me you won’t hurt her, okay? I know you’re only friends and are just now getting to know one another, but I can tell you’re important to her and she’s important to you. I just don’t want to see my baby girl hurt. She’s been through a lot already.”

  I looked down at
the floor then back up at her mom. I didn’t know how to respond to her so I just nodded my head. The nurse opened the door and waved for us both to come back in the room to see Mickey. She was fully dressed when we got inside and all ready to head out.

  “I grabbed you guys some dinner. I got you both chicken noodle soups. I didn’t want to get anything that would upset your stomach, honey.”

  “That’s fine, Mom. Thanks,” Mickey responded weakly.

  Mickey still looked drained, so the nurses sat her down in a wheelchair and I pushed her out of the room so we could find a place to eat. We all found a spot in the cafeteria and ate our soups before returning to Mickey’s mom’s van. “I’ll drop you off at home, Johnny.”

  “Thanks Mrs. D.”

  I was helping Mickey into the car when she asked, “Where are you sitting?”

  “In the back, I didn’t want to be in your way.”

  “You won’t be. Help me back there.”

  “Okay.” I helped her onto the cold leather seat and she managed to slide her body over so I could sit beside her. She smiled before placing her head on my shoulder. Her mom looked at us in the rear view mirror and smiled.

  I don’t know if I should smile or be afraid right now.

  We were around the corner from my house when Mickey complained that her stomach hurt. “Honey, do I need to pull over? You don’t look so go—”

  Before her mom could finish, Mickey puked all over the floor and onto my sneakers. Her mom pulled over, but I told her to keep driving. “We can clean this up at my house, it’s fine Mrs. Dawson.”

  It was dark by the time we pulled up in front of my house. The only light on was the front porch, which meant Mom wasn’t home from work yet.

  “Give me a few minutes. I’ll go grab a bucket with some cleaner and some towels!” I rushed into the house so fast I didn’t remember unlocking anything. My goal was to clean up the mess and help Mickey feel better as soon as I could.