by Niquel
Sarah, Gordon, and George were waiting outside by a tree in the front yard of the school by the gated entrance. “Hey! You look fab girl!” Sarah said, pulling me into a hug.
Gordon seemed speechless. “Wow, Michelle, you look—amazing.”
“You do too.” He was wearing a fitted button up shirt with a pair of dark jeans and combat boots. His hair was styled away from his face and his facial hair had grown in a little thicker. His brother had on an oversized t-shirt with skinny jeans and a pair of black Chucks.
“Do you guys know where your homeroom is?” I asked, confused by the numbers on the digital schedule I’d downloaded on my cell phone.
“We do. We scouted the entire school over the summer. We refused to get lost on the first day, and George is dying to play on the baseball team,” Gordon said.
“Hey, what can I say? Baseball is kind of my thing.”
“Well softball is kind of my thing,” I chimed in.
“Oh yeah? Can you actually play?”
“I used to be able to. I have to get a clean bill of health from the doctor before I can try out this year.”
“Good luck, girl,” Sarah said.
Luck was exactly what I needed. I had my physical after school that day and I’d find out if I was still cancer free. I’d been in remission for a few months, and I couldn’t take another setback. It was exactly what had happened to me before when he was there: I was okay for a while, then boom I was sick again.
It was the first day of school and I didn’t care. I begged Mom to let me stay home and not go, but she forced me to get out of the house. I hated starting all over again. I hated the fact that I couldn’t talk to the only person that mattered to me.
I walked up the stone steps and inside the door. A crowd of girls surrounded me as soon as I stepped foot in the hallway. “What’s your name, cutie?”
“Johnny.”
“Well, John, I think you should be my new boyfriend. You’re about fourteen right?”
“Yes.”
“Well I’m sixteen, so you should feel honored.” Is this chick serious? I think her ponytail must be too tight. She was the same height as me and had a short skirt on, exposing her long tanned legs. She wore a very tight pink sweater and had thick black frames on her face. Her eyes were dark and I could feel that wasn’t the only thing dark about her.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re hot. If I don’t claim you now, that’ll give the other girls a chance to claim you, and I can’t allow that to happen, now can I?”
Other girls? I’m glad she’s got everything figured out already.
“Excuse me, I have to get to class.”
“You can run, John, but you can’t hide!”
Great. Well at least I’ll have something to help keep my mind off of her.
I hadn’t seen crazy girl in a few hours and it was great. I was on my way to the cafeteria and thought I’d run into her for sure, but I didn’t. So far, so good.
I did run into my old classmate Shawn from middle school. We’d had a few classes together, but I’d been too preoccupied with Mickey to actually hang with him. He looked a lot different now.
“Hey, John!”
“Hey, dude you’re getting freakin’ ripped! You must tell me your secret.” He was the same height as me, but his upper body was massive. He wore a muscle shirt with his flannel tied around his backpack. His hair was jet black and slicked back on his head. He was the definition of a true meathead.
“All I use is this protein powder that my older brother brings home, and I hit the gym four times a week. That’s it, bro.” He flexed his muscle and I was convinced. I needed to make a big change in my life and it would start with my health. “The ladies won’t be able to keep their hands off you!”
“I bet.” That doesn’t sound like a bad thing at all.
“Here, take down my number and we can start working out together tomorrow.”
The first day of school was coming to an end and I couldn’t wait to get out of my algebra class. I hadn’t talked to many people besides Shawn all day. There were a few girls that fought over being my lab partner in biology, but the teacher paired me with Shawn to keep the peace.
High school girls are very different from middle school girls.
The bell rang and I went to grab my coat out of my locker. “Hey John, wait up!”
“What’s up?”
“My brother Jake said he’d definitely help you with a fitness plan, but first he wants to see what you can do on your own.”
“Cool, when?”
“Tomorrow.”
“I’ll meet you here after class and we can go.”
“Sweet, later bro,” Shawn said as he slung his backpack over his shoulders.
As he walked away, I grabbed the rest of my things and caught the city bus home.
“How was your first day of school, JJ?” Mom questioned as soon as I walked into the kitchen for a snack.
“It was okay. A lot of girls tried to fight over me today, and it was kind of weird, especially for the first day of class.”
“JJ, you’re growing up honey. The girls will just get worse from here on out.” She tapped me on the back as I searched the fridge for something to eat.
“I guess. I’m still not used to it though.”
My first day of school was amazing. Sarah and I had four classes together and the twins had one class with me, so I never felt like I was alone. I did make a new friend named Bridgette in my algebra class. She had long dark pigtails, purple braces, and glasses. She had a similar style to mine and that’s what bonded us.
Sarah, the twins, and I were on our way to the pizza palace to grab something to eat after school. “Guys, I can’t stay too long. I have a doctor’s appointment in an hour.”
“That’s fine, but I’m starving right now,” George said.
I texted my mom while I was on my way to the mall and asked if she could pick me up after I ate.
“How was school today, honey?” Mom asked as I slid into the passenger seat of her van.
“Great, but I’m nervous.”
“About what?”
“You know . . .”
“Oh, I highly doubt you have anything to worry about, Michelle. I bet you’ll still have a clean bill of health and you’ll be able to try out for the softball team just like you wanted.”
We pulled up in front of the hospital and I could feel my stomach flipping. Please let everything go well. My life is finally getting back to normal.
Mom and I walked inside the suite and Nurse Sydney greeted us as we checked in at the window. My primary care doctor was on the same floor as my cancer doctor.
“Come on in, Michelle,” Nurse Sydney said, waving us in the side door.
She brought us to the scale and took my weight and height, and then we followed her into a room down the hall. It had a similar aquarium theme like the other room I’d been in before when I’d first gotten diagnosed with cancer. Creepy.
“So how are you feeling, Michelle?”
“Pretty good so far. I have no complaints.”
“Good. How’s your guy friend doing? Will he be here today?” I could feel my eyebrows raise and my mouth frowning.
“No. I rather not talk about him if that’s okay?”
“I’m sorry. Well here’s your jo—gown. Put this on and Dr. Sheldon will be in shortly.”
“Thanks.”
I quickly slid my stockings down to the floor and took everything else off. The doctor knocked on the door as I sat back on the seat. She had on a long white lab coat and wore her blonde hair in a tight bun on the top of her head. She wore glasses and had a few freckles on her cheeks.
“Hi, I’m Marie Sheldon. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Michelle. Nice to meet you too.”
“So I understand you were seeing Dr. Romaine for a while as you battled cancer, correct?”
“Yes. The last appointment with her, she was cleared of cancer,” Mom said.
“That’s wonderful. We’ll I’m going to examine you and make sure I don’t feel any lumps. Then we can grab some blood before you go and we’ll send you the results in a few days.”
“Okay.”
She washed her hands and then squirted a pump of hand sanitizer on them. “Can you please lie down for me?”
She placed her cold hands on the side of my neck first, feeling around and smiling at me as she moved further down to check my underarm area and other places.
“Everything feels great, Michelle. I just have to check a few more things, and then we’ll send you to the lab for some blood work. You have nothing to worry about.”
Age: Thirteen
Diary Entry: School and Stuff
Dear Diary,
The first day of school was awesome! Sarah, George, and Gordon were with me pretty much the whole day! I met a new friend named Bridgette and she’s so nice. She’ll be the one to keep me in line, I can tell. She’s more laid back than my other friends.
Today was my physical and I was nervous. I met my new doctor and she seemed nice. She explained everything she had to do to me today, which was fine. Having cancer pretty much threw all my fear out the window.
She didn’t feel any lumps and said the spot where my port was is healing nicely. Now it’s a waiting game. Once I get the blood work back, I’ll get a letter from the doctor’s office so I can try out for the softball team next week and I’m so excited! I’ll finally get the chance to do something I love without worrying if it’ll get taken away from me, I hope.
Oh and Gordon really wants to be my boyfriend, but I told him I’m not ready for anything like that yet. He’s nice and smart, and cute, but I’d rather focus on sports—not boys!
Mickey
I got my letter in the mail from the doctor’s office and jumped for joy. My blood levels were normal and I was completely lump free. I couldn’t wait to get to school the next day and give it to the nurse so she could inform the coach, Ms. Sweeney, that I was good to go for softball tryouts.
Shawn introduced me to his brother Jake and we’d been working out together all week.
Jake was in great shape because he was a personal trainer at Shred’z Gym. He was a lot taller than us and his body was where I would like to have mine when I got a little older. He looked like a really cut pro wrestler. He had a rose tattoo on his chest as a tribute to their grandmother, who had passed earlier that year. He looked just like Shawn, only older and with shorter hair.
“Hey John, I want you to do three more reps on the chest press machine. We need to get your chest and arms conditioned so we can build your upper body.”
My arms already felt like jello from the first three reps. I felt like this man was trying to kill me, but I knew it would be worth it in the end.
After a few weeks on his brother’s workout plan, I’d already gained about five pounds of muscle and could finally do a chin up without my body shaking on the bar and without a boost from Jake. “You’re rocking it John. You’ll be in great shape in no time. Keep it up! You don’t even need the protein powder. Just keep eating a lot of protein and you’ll be good to go, man!”
“Thanks.”
I did a lot of research and realized protein shakes and powder were not a good idea for me. I wanted to build muscle the old fashioned way, by working hard and eating right. Shawn was cheating and using the powder, but I didn’t care; it was his body, not mine.
I decided to stop being such a jerk and talk to one girl from my biology class. Her name was Dawn and she seemed pretty nice. She was gorgeous and looked a lot like Mickey, except she had red hair; it was pretty freaky actually—or maybe I missed Mickey so much I couldn’t see anything but her.
“All right girls, today is day one of softball tryouts. I can almost guarantee a few of you won’t make it through this round, but for those of you that do, you’ll report back here at three o’clock tomorrow.”
Coach Sweeney looked like your typical female coach. She was tall with wide shoulders and long brown hair that she stuffed in a ponytail underneath a baseball cap. She looked like she never put on makeup and always wore a tracksuit.
I watched as she lined up the first five girls and made them run drills. Some of them started on first base and had to run as fast as they could to third, and the others had to start on second base and run full speed to home plate. I was out of breath just watching them.
She called my group of girls up next and I was shaking on the first base plate. You can do this Mickey. You will not get cut.
“You can do it, Mickey!” I heard Sarah yell from the sidelines. I sucked in a deep breath and dug my cleats into the dirt. When the coach blew the whistle, I ran like my life depended on it.
“Great speed, Dawson. Keep it up!” Coach shouted.
The next drill they had us do was called 3–2-1. The coach’s assistant Tonya placed three balls about the same distance apart between third base and home plate. “Dawson, Jones, and Wilson, you three will go first for this next drill.”
Coach chose me as the runner and the other two as fielders. “Wilson, take your place on third. Jones, take your place on second, and Dawson, you’ll be my runner. Take your place on first. When you hear my whistle I want you to run as fast as you can to second base. Jones and Wilson, your goal is to get those three balls to second base before she reaches it. First person to complete this drill will receive two points.”
“Got it Coach!”
I stretched my legs out before my run because I didn’t want to get stiff. I hadn’t run like this in a very long time, but I was happy my speed was improving. Coach blew the whistle and I ran like the wind. One ball reached second before I got there and that was it. Yes!
“Two points, Dawson.”
The season didn’t start until the spring, but they had early tryouts at the beginning of the school year and they’d have them again in early spring. I wanted to sign up as early as possible so I could start conditioning. I didn’t want to start the season weak.
“Dawson can I talk to you for a moment?” Coach asked as I caught my breath.
“Sure.”
“I haven’t seen a girl with your kind of speed in a long time. I’d like to offer you a permanent spot on the team right now.”
“Thank you so much! I promise I won’t let you down!”
For the next few months my life was all about softball, homework, and hanging out with Sarah and the twins. We’d all gotten so close that nothing could separate us. I’d told my parents a while back that all I wanted for my birthday and Christmas was new softball gear and gift cards so I could buy some new clothes, and they delivered. I was done with parties.
It came time for the first real game of the season, and I was nervous. We had a bunch of practice games and we’d done so many drills that I had them drilled into my brain. I was ready for this.
It took me a long time to let Dawn get close to me, but I did, and now she was my girlfriend. It took months before I let her know where my house was. I didn’t have the same feelings about her that I had about Mickey, but they were pretty close. She was nice to be around. She kept me focused on school and came with me to the gym a few times to cheer me on and make sure I didn’t push myself too hard.
My fifteenth birthday was coming up soon and I didn’t know what I wanted to do for it. I told Mom not to get me anything video game related, or another bus. I didn’t want anything that would remind me of the happier times in my life from the year before.
“Hey JJ, how about we have a little get together for you here for your birthday? You can invite Shawn, his brother, Dawn, and what was that kid’s name you used to hang with all the time? Landon? I’ll bake barbeque chicken and have a real southern shindig for you!”
“Please tell me you’ll bake sweetbread.”
“Of course, silly!”
“Awesome. I’ll let them all know. Thanks, Mom.”
I hadn’t talked to Landon in months and I wasn’t even sure if his number was sti
ll the same.
Me: Hey bro, if this is still u, meet me at the mall in 30.
Landon: It’s still me stranger. C u then, I’m already here.
Mom gave me a lift to the mall and Landon was in the food court as usual. “Hey! Dude you’ve changed a lot,” Landon said, staring at my arms.
“Yeah, I’ve been hitting the gym a lot. It helps keep my mind off things.”
“Well I wish I could come with you.” He laughed, slapping his stomach. He’d slimmed down a little since middle school, but not much.
“Dude, meet me at Shred’z Gym. Do you remember Shawn? His brother is a personal trainer there.”
“Get out, I’ll so be there bro! So what did you need to talk about?”
“I’m having a little party at my house for my birthday this weekend and I wanted to invite you.”
“Wow, well I’m honored. I will so be there.”
“Cool. So how’s school been?”
“Good. I can’t complain. I wish we weren’t at different schools. It sucks trying to make new friends all over again.”
“What school are you at again?”
“Northeast High.” Of course he’d be attending the same school as Mickey. There were only three high schools in this town and he would be at that one.
“Oh.”
“Go ahead.”
“What?”
“Go ahead and ask me about her. I know you want to know.”
“I’m okay.”
“Bro, I can see it all over your face. The smile completely dropped off your face.”
“Fine. How is she?”
“She’s doing well. She’s on the softball team and has been hanging with that chick Sarah and these twin guys. I think she’s dating one of them.”