Whirlwind Secrets

by Debra Cowan

  The scornful look he leveled on her knotted Lydia’s stomach. “That story about your brother-in-law. Is that true?”

  “You know it is,” she said hoarsely, her throat burning with regret.

  He looked ready to explode. “I know the story about your ex-fiancé is true because Davis Lee checked it.”

  She gasped. She had no right to feel betrayed, but that didn’t lessen the hurt at his mistrust. “You had Davis Lee checking on me?”

  “Damn straight. Evidently I didn’t have him go far enough.”

  “You could’ve jeopardized the network!”

  He pushed away from the door and took one step, towering over her. “Don’t put that on me, sweetheart. If you’d told me, that never would’ve been an issue. And that’s another reason you should’ve told me. What if I had unknowingly put the operation at risk, or one of those women? It’s obvious they really need help and any threat to them would’ve been because of me. As it was, I scared them out of their minds.”

  She angled her chin in false bravado, but she was shaking. “I did what I thought I had to.”

  “And what about Bram?” Russ shoved a hand through his dark hair. “Will your seeing him put him and his family at risk? Are you lying to him like you’ve been lying to me?”

  Her stomach dropped. “Bram knows about the operation.”

  “He knows the truth?”

  She nodded miserably.

  The hurt and cold anger in Russ’s eyes had her choking back a sob. “Does everybody in Whirlwind know about this except me? Are you really seeing him?”

  “I had to let you think that.”

  “You had to let me think that?” His voice was dangerously quiet. “That you were seeing another man?”

  A dark flush of anger colored his neck and the volcanic fury on his face had her taking a step back. “I didn’t want to.”

  The thought of losing him pierced her like a blade. This numbing hollowness was the same she had felt after she had lost her sister. A giant fist closed around her chest, cutting off her breath. “Bram and his family host one of the safe stations.”

  “How the hell do they know about it?” In the next breath, a look of comprehension swept across his face. “Emma.”

  “Yes, that’s what Bram said. That his sister-in-law had been abused by her stepfather so she took her half sister and ran. She refused to let the little girl endure that. They ended up in Whirlwind at his family’s ranch.”

  Taking a step closer, she thought about touching him until he fixed a glacial stare on her. “Letting you believe I was involved with Bram nearly killed me. He didn’t like it, either, but you saw us together. We couldn’t tell you the truth.”

  Russ folded his arms across that wide chest, eyes glittering. “You could’ve told me about our hotel being a safe station.”

  “Then I would have implicated Bram. Letting you assume he and I were a couple was the smartest, safest thing to do, but it hurt the most. I knew I had feelings for you.”

  “Feelings?” The word lashed the air like the crack of a whip. “If that were true, you would’ve told me what you were doing.”

  She pressed a hand to her trembling lips to keep from crying.

  “I don’t have a problem with you helping these women. I do have a problem with you not telling me you were using the hotel to do it. The Fontaine is part mine. As your partner, your lover, you should’ve trusted me enough to tell me the truth.”

  “At first, I didn’t know if I could trust you. Then later, after I got to know you, I planned to tell you. I just didn’t do it soon enough.”

  “You never tried to tell me,” he accused bitterly.

  “Yes, I did.”

  “Really?” His lips twisted.

  “The night you rode out with that posse, remember I came here, to your office? It was so that I could tell you about the network, but you were getting ready to leave. Your brother was hurt. That wasn’t the time for me to tell you.”

  “What about when I got back?”

  “It didn’t even cross my mind,” she admitted, hoping he would see the truth of her feelings. “We heard two of the men had been injured. All those days you were gone, with no word, I didn’t know if you were dead or alive. I was so afraid something horrible had happened. And when you got back and I saw you were all right—” her voice cracked “—all I cared about was being with you.”

  He went very still. Something about his suddenly rigid stance had a cold fist of dread closing around Lydia’s heart.

  “Why was that?”

  Confused, she frowned. “Why did I want to be with you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Because I—” Love you. She cut off the words. “I have feelings for you.”

  “Is that really why?”

  “Why else?”

  He arched a brow.

  It took her a moment, but when she understood his inference, pain ripped through her. He couldn’t really believe it had been about the network. “It was about us and only us.”

  “Did you think if you got me into your bed, there would be less chance of me questioning things you did? Easier to get me to believe your lies?”

  “You know that isn’t why!” Her voice shook. “You’re angry and I understand that, but what happened between us had nothing to do with anything except you and me. It was special.”

  “You can see why I have a hard time buying that.” His eyes narrowed to slits. “All you’ve done since you got here is try to manipulate me.”

  “That’s not true!”

  “First, you tried to get me out of the hotel. Telling me you could manage things on your own, then trying to frustrate me so much with small decisions about the place that I would turn it over to you.”

  She couldn’t deny any of that. The already-thick tension drew tighter.

  “Then after that kiss in the kitchen, you tried to ‘manage’ me, to see if you could keep me from taking things further. Now, I wish I’d given you what you wanted.”

  The blow of his words nearly choked the breath from her. Her own temper spiked. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Russ, but I slept with you because I wanted to, because I have feelings for you and you know it. What I told you earlier was the truth.”

  If possible, his face became even harder.

  “Do you think I didn’t want to tell you? There were several times when I did.”

  “What matters is you didn’t,” he said baldly.

  Wrapping her arms around herself, she tried to explain. “Whenever I considered sharing the secret with you, I thought of my sister and women like her. Women like the one who was killed in our lobby because she was willing to risk it all in order to get away from someone who likely would’ve killed her at some point. Just like Philip did to Isabel. These women trust me to keep them safe. If I’d told the wrong person, they would all have been in danger.”

  “And when you knew I wasn’t the wrong person, you still didn’t try to tell me.” With a curse, he jerked open the door and stalked out.

  Alarmed, Lydia followed him just outside his office. No one was around, but she tried to keep her voice low anyway. “What are you doing? Are you leaving?”

  The look he gave her was brutally cold. “You wanted me out? You got it.”

  He pushed through the side door and left her feeling devastated and alone, throbbing with regret.

  Russ went straight to the saloon, where Matt had said he would be. He was standing at the bar, but not drinking, just talking to Pete.

  Russ was so mad all he could think about was getting a drink. Shouldering his way inside, he stalked to the spot beside Matt. His brother and Pete were the only two people there. All the other men who had been in town earlier had gone home.

  Russ tossed his hat onto the bar and requested a bottle of Pete’s good whiskey.

  “The good stuff?” Matt, his face swollen and bloody from the beating he’d taken, looked over in surprise. “What’s going on?”

  A bottle and two glasses appe
ared on the scarred surface in front of Russ. He sent the saloon owner a grateful look.

  Pete walked out from behind the bar. “Gotta go to the livery for a minute. Be right back.”

  Matt watched as Russ poured them both a drink. “What is it?”

  “Lydia.”

  “What did she do that’s got you looking ready to go for your gun?”

  “You know I told you I thought she was hiding something?”

  “Yeah. Did you figure out what?”

  “Yes,” he said through clenched teeth, seething.

  “It must be pretty bad to make you this mad.”

  “The woman’s been lying to me.”

  “Like Amy?”

  “No, the one thing I know Lydia isn’t doing is seeing another man behind my back.”

  “She’s not seeing Bram anymore?”

  “No.” Russ did believe that her pretend courtship with his friend had been just that.

  The way she had looked at him when they’d been in bed together had Russ second-guessing his anger and doubt about her feelings. A woman didn’t give herself to a man she didn’t care for. She especially didn’t give him her virginity.

  Lydia must have feelings for him, as she had claimed, which made it even harder to forgive her for not telling him what she was doing in the hotel. Their hotel. His anger flared again.

  “So, if she’s not having an affair, what is she doing?”

  Russ tossed back his drink and poured another.

  “Does it have something to do with what you were asking Davis Lee to check into?”

  “No, it’s about—” He broke off. He couldn’t talk to Matt about this!

  Dammit to hell and back. What he had just learned needed to remain confidential. Russ knew his brother would never tell a soul, never let on that he knew about any underground operation going on at The Fontaine, but Russ had told Lydia she could trust him with the secret. He was furious with her, but he had to think about the women who were trying to flee abusive, possibly deadly situations.

  “What?” Matt demanded. “Are you gonna tell me or not?”

  Russ’s fist tightened on the liquor bottle. “She…hasn’t been shooting straight with me about the hotel.”

  “Whatever she’s hiding must be a doozy. I haven’t seen you this lathered up since you found out Amy was cheating on you.”

  “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this mad,” he muttered.

  “If you’re this het up, you must have some pretty deep feelings for Lydia. Are you in love with her?”

  “No.” Russ hadn’t let himself think it before. He wouldn’t now, either.

  “Are you going to tell me what she’s done?”

  Russ might be torn about telling his brother everything, but he couldn’t do it. Suddenly, he got a flash of how conflicted Lydia must have felt while keeping the secret from him. If she had told the truth about wanting to confide in him. For some reason, that made him clench his jaw so hard he thought it might snap in two.

  His brother eyed him speculatively. “Well?”

  “I can’t talk about it. I said I wouldn’t.”

  “What the hell?” The youngest Baldwin didn’t look inclined to leave it alone, but to Russ’s surprise, Matt didn’t badger him. “So, what are you going to do?”

  “Try to stay away from her, although until I sell my interest in the hotel, I won’t be completely shed of her.” He took in his brother’s cuts and bruises, realized Matt was standing upright mostly because he was leaning against the bar. “Let’s go sit down.”

  Taking the whiskey and glasses, they chose the closest table. Just as Russ started to sit down, he saw Ef at the swinging doors.

  Looking grim and concerned, the black man motioned Russ outside.

  Tension coiled inside him. Why was Ef here? Why didn’t he want to talk in front of Matt? Had something happened to Lydia?

  In the next breath, Russ ruthlessly dismissed the thought. She wasn’t his responsibility. Still, the possibility nagged at him as he told Matt he’d be right back and walked out to meet the blacksmith.

  Russ wanted to ask his friend if he was aware of what his lady love was up to. The women who sought shelter at the hotel weren’t the only ones in danger; Lydia and Naomi were putting themselves in harm’s way, too. Another reason Russ was furious that Lydia had kept the information from him.

  Ef stepped down into the street, his features visible in a wedge of light thrown by one of the lanterns from inside the saloon.

  Russ couldn’t keep the edge out of his voice. “What’s going on?”

  “You and Miz Kent had a falling-out.”

  Trust Ef to cut right to the heart of the matter. “How do you know about that?”

  “Naomi and I came in a while ago and saw you leave. Both you and Miz Kent seemed upset. You looked ready to spit smoke.”

  “It’s blowing over,” he said tightly. Frustration layered in on top of everything else. If Russ couldn’t tell Matt what was going on, he couldn’t tell Ef, either.

  His friend glanced around as though to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard. “Naomi’s worried about you and Miz Kent. So am I.”

  “No need to be. We’re both fine. And we’re done.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Yes. She’s been keeping something from me, something big.” He cursed, part of him wishing he’d never gone into the storage room. “I knew better than to get involved with a woman who acted as skittish as she did, but I did it anyway.”

  “I can see how you’d be angry, especially because Amy hid something from you.” Ef paused, then seemed to make a decision.

  He leaned a shoulder against one of the saloon’s support posts. “One night while you were out with the posse, the ladies came to me for help.”

  “That’s what I told Lydia to do.” Russ frowned, unsure where this was going. “I assumed the problem was taken care of. She never mentioned anything.”

  Of course, Russ reminded himself, there was a lot she hadn’t mentioned.

  The other man lowered his voice. “What I helped them with was a woman, a battered woman. She was in bad shape, her feet torn to shreds.”

  Russ’s eyes narrowed. His friend was talking about one of the women he had seen in the storage room, which meant—

  Hell. A hush came over his body. “So, you know their secret.”

  The black man nodded.

  Russ had thought he couldn’t get any madder, but his insides burned as though they were boiling. The cold temperature didn’t even touch him. They—she—had told Ef and not Russ.

  Ef’s being the only one who could help at the time meant he needed to be told. Russ understood that. But Lydia should’ve told him, too. She could’ve done it earlier that night after he’d returned from chasing those rustlers. But she hadn’t.

  Another thought slammed into him, this one just as infuriating. “Did Lydia send you out here?”

  “No.” Ef shook his head, saying ruefully, “The two of you are a pair. I told her I was going to talk to you and she didn’t want me to. Said you’d think exactly what you just said. Finding you was my idea. She had nothing to do with it.”

  Russ felt empty and numb. It had been bad enough when he thought Lydia was doing this right under his nose and everyone else’s. But finding out that Ef knew, that she had told the blacksmith and not Russ, had raw fury slashing at him. He wanted to hit something, someone.

  Ef looked worried. “Hey.”

  “I appreciate you checking on me. I need to get back to Matt.”

  His friend frowned. “You know I couldn’t tell you?”

  “Yes. I wouldn’t have told you, either.”

  “Want to have a drink, vent your spleen?”

  “No, that’s all right. You get back to Naomi.”

  In the amber light, the man studied Russ uncertainly, but finally shook his hand and returned to the hotel.

  While Russ had talked to Matt and Ef, he hadn’t known what he was going to do. He did n
ow.

  Ten minutes later, he had his brother settled in a room at the Whirlwind Hotel, waiting for Catherine Blue to check Matt’s injuries. And Russ was back in his office, gathering his things.

  A black fury pulsed inside him. He thought he’d been so smart, following up on his instincts that she was hiding something, but once again lust had clouded his judgment.

  The feelings he had for her made the mistake even harder to stomach.

  Wearing his gun belt and duster, he hefted the saddlebags over one shoulder just as he had when he’d left a week earlier and walked to the hotel’s front door.

  “Russ?”

  He froze at the sound of Lydia’s voice, telling himself to keep moving. He didn’t trust himself not to explode all over again.

  “Are you going somewhere?”

  He turned, wishing he could ignore the hurt in her eyes, the redness there that told him she’d been crying. Knowing he’d put that hurt there tugged hard at Russ, dimmed his anger. He didn’t want to feel anything except anger. “I’m going to Dallas.”

  “You’re going all the way over there?”

  “I need to get away from here.” And you. He didn’t say it; he didn’t have to.

  The flash of pain in her eyes said she knew. She wrapped her arms around her middle. “What are you going to do there? Try to find a buyer for the hotel?”

  That was exactly what he intended, but he’d already talked to her more than he wanted. “When I return, whether I’ve sold my interest in the hotel or not, I’ll be moving out. You can finally have the hotel to yourself, just like you’ve wanted all along.”

  “No, Russ.” Picking up her skirts, she rushed down the stairs toward him. “I don’t want you to move out.”

  His eyes narrowed on her. She must have gotten the message not to come closer because she stopped a few feet away.

  Her face was chalk-white and bleak with hurt. In a quiet voice, she offered, “It might take a little time, but I can try to relocate the operation.”

  Now that he knew about the work she was doing, he could see how a move might cause problems. He damn sure wasn’t going to feel responsible for that.

  “Move it or not. I won’t change my mind about staying. My problem isn’t with what you’re doing. It’s with you.”