Finding North (Naïve Mistakes Series)

by Dunning, Rachel

  Don't wanna be around when the cops arrive, do you?, I thought.

  Although, no one would have called the cops because they were all doing drugs! I took out my phone, started dialing. Kayla's hand grabbed mine, pushed it down. She pointed to the scuffle.

  Conall had somehow gotten Raphael by the neck and pinned against a wall. Raphael was dazed. Conall's right fist was set and back, ready for a final punch!

  "Now you listen and you listen good! If you so much as breath in my brother's direction I swear to fucking God Almighty or the Devil himself that I will come and find you. I will hunt you down. I will search for you in every apartment, every corner, every fucking harbor in this city or another! And then I will tie you to a chair, kick your fucking knee caps in, cut your goddamn balls off and let you sleep in your own shit and piss until you die."

  Wow. That was hot.

  Raphael was passing out, blood dripping from his lip, his nose. There was blood fucking everywhere.

  Conall slammed him against the wall to wake him up. "Are you listening!?"

  Raphael roused. He spat at Conall!

  Conall just stood there, breathing, his back bulging below his shirt. "You got no fucking clue who I am do you?" Conall said. "No idea. Listen fuckturd, you might be big time news down here in the rich side of the world but you are nothing where I come from. How's Stephen Jenkins doing? Does he know you got involved with the Williams family? You know, his advertisers are more important to him than your stash. And whereas the cops might be in your back pocket, public opinion is not. And our account could 'persuade' him to run a story on your establishment here. Names. Pictures. Witnesses."

  Raphael suddenly paid a little more attention.

  "Tell him Conall Williams is unhappy with your method of doing business. And just in case you get any ideas: If you ever so much as sniff the same air as me, my girlfriend, or her best friend, Kayla, I will tell him myself. Yes, that's right. He and I go way back. We've been watching you a long time amigo. This is bigger than you. Bigger than me. There are people involved here who will go to the ends of the earth to watch you fall. Heck, now that I think about it. I think we'll do that anyway. Comprende, amigo?"

  "Fuck you," he said, but there was fear in his eyes, begrudged fear. Gone was the smirk, the tough guy attitude. "You talkin bullshit."

  Conall thwacked Raphael's head against the wall! He put his lips close to his ear and said, "Fucking try me." Then he dropped him. Raphael stood unsteadily by the wall. The whole place was empty except for Raphael and us.

  "You better pray that all the cops are in your pocket. Because I'm calling them now. And the press. Story runs tomorrow." He held the phone to his ear, started walking away. Then turned to face Raphael. "Or do we have a deal?" he asked. "Stay away from my brother. Stay away from all the people in this room or anyone ten degrees removed!"

  Damn it! Conall was in my way. I couldn't see! I rushed in to get a look around him.

  Raphael was staring at him, then looked at me. He nodded.

  Conall turned off the call. "Pleasure doing business with you," he said.

  -2-

  Two things were going through mind as we all stood there in stunned silence, the only two people seeming to know what the fuck was going on being Conall and Raphael.

  One: No wonder his company paid him the big bucks. This dude could negotiate!

  And two: He'd called me his girlfriend!

  Conall turned around, put his arm around my waist and we walked out. When we got outside and the door closed, his tough-guy attitude changed to one of grimacing pain. He flicked his hand once. "Damn it," he said, his fingers dangling.

  The seven of us got in the elevator: Me, Kayla, Conall, Brad, and his two cronies.

  "Damn, bro. You should also come to the fuckin Block Party this Friday. We got an amateur boxing competition we'll be holding!"

  "No thanks, I'm good," he said.

  "Where did all the blood come from earlier?" I asked Conall.

  "I broke my brother's nose."

  One more thing was going through my mind now: Damn!

  -3-

  In the limo, Brad had his arm around Kayla's shoulders. She was quiet, still in shock. His cronies had taken his car and he was gonna spend the night at her place. My friend who was "definitely not dating" this guy, snuggled up to his chest and closed her eyes. He held her close.

  All the walking had turned the drug-deadened sharpness of pain to a constant throb that was taking over the middle of my back. I knew I was in no shape to sleep with Conall. But that wouldn't stop me being naked with him in bed. That's all I wanted, to lie with him, be held by him. And to hold him back.

  I thought of my lonely apartment waiting for me. Nothing to keep me company but bad-boy posters and my goddamn dumbbells.

  I gazed up at Conall. "Can I sleep at your place tonight?" I whispered.

  "I was hoping you'd ask."

  -4-

  We barely entered his apartment and Conall spread his hands around my waist from behind. I heard the door click shut and closed my eyes, ready for anything he wanted to do to me now. I knew he'd play it "safe" and not sleep with me. But I also knew that I needed him, needed his comfort.

  He took out his iPhone and put on a song, laid the iPhone on the table.

  "More Soundgarden?" I asked.

  "No, Christina Perri. A Thousand Years."

  I gave a surprised "huh!" This was just too fucking romantic.

  "Sorry, I was snooping your iPhone while waiting for Kayla. I bought a few of the songs you had on there. It's time to try something new."

  "You bought the fucking Twilight soundtrack to try something new?"

  "Could you shut up now? I'm trying to create a mood here..."

  I felt his stubbled cheek scrape against my neck and a chill ran down my left side, down to my toes. My leg gave an involuntary twitch. He pushed me forward to the table (yes, that table. My new best friend table!) and rested my hands on it, pressed up against me, rubbing my butt with his pelvis. I gave a groan of pain from my back and he eased up a little. I snatched his fingers to indicate he shouldn't stop.

  He nuzzled my neck, pulled my tee down and eased his hand around the skin of my shoulder, kissed it. "Conall?"

  "Yes."

  "I need to sit."

  The pain was returning, but I didn't want to deaden it. If it all came back, we'd do nothing together. But as it was now, I could at least feel him closer, free from the haze of painkillers.

  The pain also made it feel real. Like this was really happening.

  He intertwined his hand into mine and guided me to his room, eased me onto the lush comforter. He got on top of me, his legs straddling my waist, moved down to kiss my neck. Sparks of pain fired down my spine, charging the bruised area to life. It made me clutch his waist, holding on to something.

  "You know we can't have sex tonight. I'm not going to risk that," he said.

  Damn it!

  I nodded, then said quietly. "I know. But we can do a whole lot of other things. Only it's my turn this time."

  I put my hand on his chest, pushed him slowly to his back, lifted his shirt off. Ripped muscles from years of training formed a hilled landscape that I began to kiss. First the top of his chest, just a peck, then with my tongue on his nipple, then lower down.

  My back throbbed. I sat up, unbuckled his pants, started to pull them down with difficulty but he pulled them off for me after he saw me grimace. I massaged him between his legs, slowly. He breathed in deeply with a quiver. I moved my head down, licked the length of him with the tip of my tongue, from the bottom to the very top. He jerked, pulsed. I put my tongue around him, letting my saliva fall and wet him until my lips glided easily, up and down, then around. Then I licked him right at the top with the tip of my tongue. His legs moved left and right. I put my hand around him and squeezed, pumped him, slowly, feeling all of him throb underneath my palm.

  I buried him into me, felt him all the way to the back of my throat,
squeezed with my lips and pulled. Then again. And again. I could feel his breath quicken. I massaged him while he groaned and felt the sudden throbbing and shaking just before final climax. He jerked my head away before just before he came, made me pull up and down aggressively until final explosion.

  Even while he was coming, groaning, he made me move my hand up and down the length of him until, finally, he made me stop at the bottom, just before the end, squeezed my hand below his, showing me, stretched his skin taut, and then had me shake him as the last bits of pleasure escaped him.

  He exhaled. I moved my head back down, licked him, his abs. Just a little, just enough to taste his sweetness.

  I lay back next to him, my hand still massaging as I watched his muscles relax.

  I was hot as hell, but my back was in so much pain I couldn't even think of making myself come, never mind getting him to do it.

  I put my head on his shoulder, thinking of him and me together, aching with every part of me to have him inside me, to feel that explosion deep within me.

  I bit his shoulder, trying not to show my emotions, clutched his thigh.

  Conall turned to me, took my hand and put it between my legs. I was soaking. "I won't do it because I don't want to hurt you. But if you want to, I'll keep my hand above yours all the time, and kiss your neck, and your ears, and your shoulder..."

  I wanted to.

  And I did.

  And it was fucking awesome.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  -1-

  I was awoken in the morning by my phone's buzz. A message.

  Kayla: I'm through denying it. I think I'm in love. And I'm scared.

  I looked at Conall, still fast asleep.

  Leora: Me too.

  Kayla: Sorry I won't be at school today. I just NEED him somehow. I told him. Everything.

  Holy shit, my girl was growing up.

  Leora: Good for you.

  Kayla: What do we do, L? I've never felt this way. So fucking VULNERABLE!

  Leora: If either of them gives us shit, you and I still have each other.

  Kayla: Tx. I needed to hear that. No jokes. Cos this is serious.

  Leora: I'm also skipping school. 1 1/2/ days and he's gone...

  -2-

  "Can you explain what happened yesterday? I mean, at Raphael's place?" I asked as I sipped my morning coffee at the table. I was wearing his shirt. It's not that I needed his shirt. I just fucking wanted to feel what it was like to walk around in a guy's shirt the morning after!

  "After Alexandra...you know, I hired a private investigator to tag my brother. I wanted revenge. Not on him. On the people behind him. The dealers. I used my family's money initially but then started using my own once I got good at what I do.

  "We have seven years of dirt on these guys. Different cartels across the world. I haven't figured out what to do with any of it yet. The cops are in on the game in so many places. The only way to get them is to create a buzz in the press, maybe have a few people coming forward. And then hopefully someone gets sued, or jailed.

  "Well, that was the initial plan. But there's too much risk involved. And so little return at the end of the day. One of the investigators I hired in the beginning was murdered a year later. I had my suspicions it was because of the work I had him doing. But of course I couldn't prove it. And I didn't want to snoop around too much in case they came after me.

  "But this, here, was different. You were involved. And I knew nothing about the underage girls either. I snapped. I guess I acted rashly..."

  He thought on that for a second.

  "Stephen Jenkins is a newspaper mogul around here. He's also a big coke addict, and he likes his parties wild and private. Well, not so private. We have a bunch of dirt on him. My father's business also advertises in several of his papers. So I took a long-shot. With the photos of Mr. Jenkins' fetishes and his absurd desire for power and reputation, as well as the threat of losing my father's business, Raphael could be brought down.

  "I know the Raphael-type. They're happy so long as they're at the top. That's all they care about. So, as I said, I took a long shot. That's the one thing he can't lose, because then he'll be nobody.

  "He took the bait. That way you and Kayla (and me, come to think of it) are safe, and he goes on running his racket."

  "Why didn't you just close him down? Why did you make a deal with him?"

  "Well, initially, maybe I would have done it. A few years back at least. We tried with a few cartels up in England. Too many losses to make it worth it. And then the big guys behind them just put another sucker running the show. Raphael is one of those suckers. Take him out and another one appears.

  "But then there was yesterday. Because I threatened him, humiliated him, I had to play it safe. If I took all his power away anyway, he'd come after you, or me, or Kayla. Because he'd have nothing left to lose. If we leave him in power, he keeps away from all of you because he knows I have the ability to bring him down.

  "But, you have to understand that. It's: bring him down. Not the drug deals. There are much bigger people above him. As I said, they'd just put someone else in his place."

  "So you gave him the choice. For my and Kayla's safety?"

  "And mine! I'm not a knight in shining armor here. I didn't want to end up dead in the street. But, yes, seeing as you were there and he somehow knew we were dating, well, I had to include you and her and even her friends there."

  "So..." I moved my finger along the top of my coffee cup coyly. "...I'm your 'girlfriend'?"

  "I think so, don't you?"

  "Yeah, I do."

  And I also think I'm falling in love with you.

  Only I didn't say that.

  -2-

  "How's your back?"

  "Better. I didn't take any painkillers and it feels like it did yesterday after the ones I took yesterday started to wear off."

  He sipped some coffee, got a small smirk.

  "What?" I asked.

  "Where did you learn...you know? I thought you said you'd never—"

  "Oh, God!" (I covered my face.)

  "Oh, let me guess, the internet."

  "No! Gross! Internet porn is awful. They put women in such degrading positions! Always some burly dude banging into her and her screaming like she likes being in pain! It amazes me what men fall for..."

  "Then how?"

  Yip, my face was beet-red I'm sure. "I, um, asked Kayla."

  "And?"

  "Do you really need to know this?"

  "And we, um, maybe practiced on...amhhhmmmm?" I covered the last word with my mouth.

  "What?"

  "On a banana!"

  Coffee came out his nose and mouth when I told him. Some of it landed on the floor. "Sorry," he said. "That is just so, well, "unique." But I shouldn't be complaining. I mean, wow. Amazing. That's all I can say. You must've practiced a lot."

  "Uh, yeah, let's say we went through a stage with a lot of bananas. After I practiced I had them in protein shakes."

  "Whoa! Now you're the disgusting one!"

  "Hey! What's so disgusting about that?"

  "Not that, the connotations of— Never mind!"

  His gaze fixed on mine. He looked at me wonderingly.

  I looked at him as well, taking in every part of his face, his eyes, his red lips, his black hair.

  "Is there something you want to say?" I said.

  "Yes, I think there is."

  I swallowed. "What is it?"

  He sighed. "We should wait."

  Screech. Crash! "Say what?"

  "We should wait, before we make love, until you're eighteen."

  I was suddenly very uncomfortable, even a little irritated. "Well that fucking sucks."

  He got off his seat and came over to me. "And we should do it in that cabin I told you about, where there is no one else, and nothing else, only you, me, and three whole days of pleasure."

  My fingers moved up his chest and grazed down slowly. "Conall, I'm so afraid. And I don't know why�
��"

  "I know."

  "Wait, I'm not finished."

  "Sorry."

  "But I know one thing. No matter who I fall in love with, or who I spend the rest of my life with, or if you and I work out, or if you suddenly decide you like silicone blondes or...guys, even... No matter what, there's one thing I've decided I always want to have. And that is that you will be my first. No matter what happens. I want that."

  "And I will be. Because I was your first as well. But when you're eighteen."

  I was disappointed, but also not so much. Because this made it more certain. I'd be eighteen in a month. Conall would have been gone for the same amount of time by then. I could live with that. We were, as he'd said, "dating" after all. I mean, he'd called me his "girlfriend."

  This was frickin official!

  "Conall."

  "Yes?"

  "I think I lo—"

  "You are my North."

  Crash! Screech! Earthquake! WTF? "Wh—excuse—huh?"

  "You are my North."

  Mother. Fuck.

  That was SO much better than 'I love you.'

  "You really know how to make a girl feel weak in the knees, don't you?"

  -3-

  "Do you really have to go? I mean, really?" I pleaded with him at the airport.

  "I really do. I'm sorry. If you want to keep riding in Porsches, I have to continue working."

  "I don't want to ride in Porsches. I don't want to look cool at school. I don't want to have my own apartment. I don't want to wear Gucci, I hate Luis-Vuitton suddenly, I don't care about Tiffany's and I fucking hate Bloomingdales. I only want you."

  I clutched his hand so that he'd have to pry it away with a crowbar.

  "I'll be back. I'll fly here next weekend, I told you."

  "It's too long."

  "Final boarding call..." the speaker announced.

  And then I let him go.

  The voices around me became mumbles, the world swirled, my body was no longer anchored. I looked down and saw the jagged rocks, the waters crashing against them.

  And I knew that, without Conall, I would hit them.