by L A Cotton
“You need to loosen up,” she mouthed, dancing circles around me as I side-stepped awkwardly.
“Or she just needs her partner in crime.” Hudson grabbed me and brought his mouth to my ear. “Will you hate me if I get with Molly tonight?”
“You care what I think?” I eased back to lock eyes with him.
“Of course I fucking care. You’re one of us now, Eva. I just hope to God when the truth comes out, there’s an us left to talk about.”
“Hudson, I—”
“Don’t you dare apologize. You can’t help who you fall for, Angel.” His gaze shifted and I wondered if he was looking at Molly.
“She talks a good talk, you know, but this: the dress, her attitude, it’s just her way of keepin’ the upper hand.”
“I know.” He swallowed.
“Just be careful with her heart, Hudson, that’s all I ask.”
“Shit, Eva, you can’t ask that of me. I don’t know how to...”
“Whoa, bitch, you need to back the hell up.”
Our heads whipped over to find Molly facing off with some girl. “Fuck,” Hudson muttered, grabbing my hand and leading me over to my best friend.
“Stay cool, Hud,” Letty whispered. I spotted Travis and Grayson moving closer, Hudson’s bodyguard too.
“I’m cool.” He lifted his shoulders. “What’s happening, Mol?”
The girl gasped, her eyes narrowing. “You really do know him? You?” Jealousy dripped from her words.
“I told you I did.” Molly cocked her hip to the side. “Now move the hell on, you’re ruinin’ my vibe.”
“Hey, Hudson, why don’t you ditch these two country skanks and come party with some real girls?” She stepped closer to them, making a show of flicking her bottled blonde hair off her shoulder. It whipped straight into Molly’s face.
“Oh hell no,” she rolled back her shoulders. “You did not just—”
“Easy now.” Hudson inched in front of Molly, stepping between the two of them. Another girl stepped up beside her friend and smirked.
“Yeah,” she purred. “Ditch the skank, and we can have a private party all of our own.”
“Like that’s ever goin’ to happen,” Molly mumbled.
We were drawing an audience now, people trying to piece together who we were and what was happening. It wouldn’t be long before people realized and started getting out their cell phones.
“Nobody asked you, bitch.” The girl glared at my best friend. “Why don’t you fuck off back to the ass crack of wherever the hell you came from and let Hudson hang with some real girls.”
“We need to leave,” Travis gently took my elbow, “Now.”
“Is that Evangeline Walker?” someone said over the music. “Shit, it is.”
“No fucking way,” the girl choked on the words.
“Now, Eva.”
“Sorry, girls, looks like we’ll be leavin’… with Hudson.” Molly flipped them off, but all hell broke loose as one of them lunged for Molly, grabbing a handful of her hair.
“Get off me, get the hell off of me.” Molly managed to shove her off.
“That’s our cue, baby,” Hudson slipped his arm around Molly’s shoulder and started leading her away.
“Dirty country skank,” the girl yelled, “I bet she’s fucking all four of them.”
The blood drained from my face. “Ignore them,” Letty said. But it was easier said than done. I knew there was a price to pay for my rising fame. Not everyone was going to like me or my music or my story. Only knowing it and having it shoved in your face were very different things.
“Screw ‘em, babe,” Molly said, still nestled into Hudson’s arm, looking far too comfortable... and smug.
Travis led us back to the VIP area.
“What happened?” Alistair came over to us.
“There was an incident,” Travis started but our manager cut him off. “Of course there was. Who do I need to pay off this time?”
“Actually,” Hudson stepped forward, sliding his arm from around Molly’s shoulder to take her hand instead. “Some girls came up to Eva and Molly. Die Hearts, I assume.”
“Hey, what’s going on?” Rafe and Levi appeared.
“We need to bail.”
“What are we waiting for then?” Levi said, as if it was that simple.
“What, no third degree?”
“Nah,” he said flatly. “It doesn’t have the same appeal when you’re sober.”
“Fenton is bringing the van around to the side entrance,” Travis said.
“Where’s Damon?” I asked.
“He went to take a leak.”
“I’ll radio his guy and tell them to meet us.”
I moved closer to Molly, aware Hudson still had her hand in a death grip. “Is it always like this?” her voice quivered as she smoothed her hair.
“Not always. Sometimes we stay in and watch movies.”
“So rock-and-roll.” We shared a nervous laugh. “I can’t believe this is your life now. You can’t even dance in some exclusive club in Las Vegas without bein’ spotted.”
“Kinda comes with the gig, Mol.”
“I know,” she said. “I just… wow.”
“Should I be worried about that?” I whispered, dropping my gaze to where she held Hudson’s hand.
“I want to be strong, Eva, I do, but...”
“It’s okay, I get it.”
No one would ever understand more than me. The only difference between me and Molly was she got to go back to the hotel and be with the guy consuming her every thought.
I didn’t.
As if he heard my thoughts, Rafe approached us. “Are you both okay?”
“Yeah, it just made it real, you know? I’m not stupid. I know they’re sayin’ all kinds of things about me, but it was just white noise then.”
He lifted his hand as if he was about to reach for me, but at the last second, he thrust it into his jean pocket, his stormy eyes silently saying all the things I wished he could say.
“You can’t let them in, Eva,” Hudson said. “That shit will drive you crazy.”
I glanced over at Levi. He was quiet, his eyes cold and assessing. “Is he okay?” I asked Rafe.
“He’s struggling a lot with his emotions right now.”
“Because of me?” The second the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. But Rafe—selfless, steadfast Rafe—didn’t flinch.
“Yeah, but he’s okay. If he wasn’t, I’d be standing over there and not here with you.”
My brow rose and Rafe let out an exasperated breath. “He wanted me to check on you.”
“Oh.”
“I see what you mean,” Molly leaned in, whispering, “So intense.”
Rafe frowned but our security team decided it was time to move. They escorted us through a network of closed access halls before a rush of cool air hit us.
“What happened?” Damon asked the second we reached him.
“Some Die Hearts started shit with the girls.” Hudson didn’t stick around, pulling Molly toward the minivan.
“Are you okay?” Damon asked me.
“Yeah, I’d just forgotten how cruel girls can be to one another.”
“Jealousy is a powerful motivator, Eva.”
“Probably didn’t help that Hudson was down there dancing with her again.” Levi brushed past us and got in the van.
“One thing is for sure, Eva,” Damon smiled, “There hasn’t been a dull moment since you joined the tour.”
When he put it like that, I didn’t know whether it was good thing or a bad thing.
I woke to the sound of voices. Sitting up, I tried to get my bearings. Molly was beside me, her dark hair fanned all over the crisp white linen. She must have crept in after her and Hudson got done reacquainting. After we’d arrived back at the hotel, I’d gone straight to bed. Part of me felt bad for cutting Molly’s night in Vegas short, but Hudson had made it pretty clear he was more than willing to keep her company.
“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” another voice said.
“Eva,” Levi yelled, his voice fraught. I leaped out of bed and rushed to the door. It swung open and I came face to face with the eldest Hunter brother.
“Is it true?” he ground out.
“Is what true?” I treaded carefully, my mind immediately going to Rafe.
Me and Rafe.
We’d been super careful since the other night on the bus. Stealing glances here and there, and we’d barely even spoken last night.
“There’s an article online about you, is it fucking true?”
“Levi, back up, let her have some space.” Letty tried to usher him away, but he refused to move. I peered around them and found the whole band sitting there in our suite.
“I’ll move,” he gritted out, “when she tells me the truth. Is. It. True?”
He knew.
Levi knew about me and Rafe. It was the only explanation for his angry morning wake up call.
Steeling myself, I rolled back my shoulders and calmly said, “What did it say?”
Letty caught my eyes, her expression grim. But there was something else there, and it looked a lot like, ‘I told you so’.
“They said you’re sick,” Levi choked out the words, his eyes wild and hands restless. “They said you’re... dying.”
The world went from under me and my hand shot out to steady myself on the wall.
“Eva?” Letty said. “Okay, Levi, back the hell up.”
“It’s true, isn’t it? It’s fucking true. You’re just like the rest of them,” he was agitated, pain and anger swirling around him like a dark vortex.
“Levi,” someone said. “Come on, man, you need to calm down.”
“Calm down,” he roared. “You want me to calm the fuck down? She’s fucking dying and you want me to calm—”
“I AM NOT DYIN’.” My chest heaved, my heart galloping like a band of wild horses.
“Y- you’re not?” Levi blinked at me.
“See, man, we told you to let her explain things, but, oh no, you had to go and jump off the deep end.” Hudson threw up his hands and then jabbed a finger at me. “You’ve got some explaining to do, Angel.”
“We should probably talk,” I said quietly, stepping out of the bedroom and closing the door behind me. Molly was still sleeping, no doubt dreaming of Hudson. For as much as I wanted her to hold my hand, she didn’t need to witness this.
Levi wouldn’t look at me and when I found Rafe across the room, he refused to give me his eyes either.
Crap, I’d really screwed this one up.
I padded over to the couch, Letty following. Hudson was already seated with Damon, the two of them looking as somber as I felt, but Levi and Rafe remained where they were. I took a deep breath and Letty covered my hand with hers. “It’s going to be okay,” she said.
I gave her a little nod and started. “When I was sixteen, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma.”
“That’s a type of cancer, right?” Damon asked and I nodded.
“It’s a form of blood cancer, quite common in teenagers and has a high survival rate.” I gave him a nervous smile. I didn’t enjoy talking about cancer, who did? But it was public knowledge now, and Letty was right, they deserved to know the truth from me, not from some article based more on speculation than reality.
“Cancer can be at different stages. I was stage four.”
“Shit, Eva,” Hudson rasped. “That’s... fuck.”
“It’s okay... I’m okay. The doctors didn’t think I was goin’ to make it, but after surgery and aggressive chemo, I made a full recovery.” My smile grew but it was false. I already sensed the shift between us—the pity in their eyes, the questions running through their heads.
The betrayal.
Rafe couldn’t even look at me, and Levi... well, Levi looked like I’d just told him his new puppy had died.
“So you’re better?”
“I’m in remission, yes.”
“But the cancer’s gone?” Levi finally spoke. “You won’t get sick again?”
“I...” I reminded myself he deserved the truth. Even if I knew he wouldn’t handle it well, Levi deserved the facts. “The cancer is gone for now. It doesn’t mean it won’t come back one day.”
The silence was deafening. Hudson cussed under his breath while Damon and Letty offered me soft smiles of reassurance. Rafe was still quiet, running a hand back and forth through his hair.
“So you could get sick again?” Levi asked, his eyes clouded with confusion. “You could get sick again and… die?” The word came out strangled, coiling around my heart like barbed wire.
“Levi!” Damon scolded him.
“It’s fine,” I said, keeping my eyes on Levi. “Yes, that’s right. But anyone sittin’ here could get sick at any time. That’s life.”
“Yeah, well life fucking sucks. I gotta get some air.” Levi stalked away, the door slamming behind him.
“I should go after him,” Damon said. “Hudson, a hand?”
“Yeah, of course.” They got up and started to leave when Letty said, “I should probably come too. Strength in numbers and all that.”
I released a quiet sigh, watching as they disappeared out of the room. Last night had been a blur. The show; the crowd; then the club with Molly, Letty, and the band. But the second things went sour, the guys were right there, putting us first.
Putting me first.
I hadn’t realized just how much I’d integrated into their band until that moment.
And now everything was a mess again.
I should have known it was too good to be true. I should have known karma would be right around the corner waiting to rip the ground from beneath my feet.
I should have told them.
The thought rattled around my head, the guilt like a brick in my chest. But it was too late now.
My secret was out.
“You didn’t tell me,” Rafe’s words cut like a knife.
“I... it’s not somethin’ I wanted to tell everyone.”
“So I’m everyone now?” His expression was crestfallen, but his eyes were hard and cold, the truth like a vast cavern between us.
“That’s not... I tried. I did. I was so close to tellin’ you all the other night on the bus, but it was such a nice thing y’all did. I didn’t want to ruin everythin’.”
“You told me you were sick, but I didn’t think...” Rafe swallowed, pain swimming in his eyes. “You almost died.”
“But I didn’t.”
I didn’t.
It was the first time the words took on a different meaning for me.
“I can’t...” He stood up and panic flooded me.
“Rafe, please.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “I never meant to hurt you. I was only protectin’ myself.”
“I can’t do this right now, Eva, I need some air.”
He left me.
Rafe walked away as if I’d broken his heart.
As if I’d broken us.
And maybe this time, I had.
Rafe
The minute I walked away from Eva, I regretted it. But a little voice in my head wouldn’t stop whispering, ‘she didn’t tell you’.
Eva had gone through something huge; the kind of thing that was bound to change a person. To leave its mark. I should have turned around and comforted her, but I needed time to clear my head. I also needed to figure out what the hell to do about Levi. The article had hit him hard, but then my brother had issues. Abandonment issues. Trust issues. Attachment issues. You name, he had it. It wasn’t any surprise given everything he’d dealt with growing up.
I could only hope this didn’t push him over the fine line he walked. He cared about Eva. I’d underestimated just how much she would affect him. But it was too late to wish things were different. Eva was here, stuck r
ight in the middle of us, and there was no going back.
I tried our suite first, hoping to find my friends talking Levi out of one of his meltdowns, but there was no sign of them.
“Ah, Rafe, there you are.” Riley breezed into the room. “I was hoping to talk to you about—”
“Now is not a good time,” I said. “My brother is... well, you know how he gets. I need to go find him.”
“Is it anything I can help with?” Her eyes softened but there was something about her tone that had alarm bells ringing in my head. I’d never been Riley’s biggest fan, but the fact Damon and Eva had both pointed out she seemed to harbor a thing for me, made me feel uneasy.
“I don’t think so.” I brushed past her, but she stopped me dead, her hand curling around my wrist.
“What the fuck are you doing?” My hard gaze dropped to where she held me.
“I… hmm… sorry.” Riley snatched her hand back and stepped back. “If something’s going on with Levi, you can talk to me. I’m sure I can help.”
“I can handle my brother, but thanks.” I ducked out of the room just as my cell vibrated. I pulled it out and breathed a huge fucking sigh of relief.
Levi was okay.
For now.
I found Levi at the hotel bar exactly where Damon’s text had said he would be. The three of them—Damon, Letty, and Hudson—had been hovering at the door when I’d arrived. They didn’t want to spook him, but they didn’t want to ambush him either. Thanks to our security team, the place was deserted. There was just Levi perched at the bar, running his finger around a glass, the bottle of vodka beside it.
The same vodka our mother used to drink.
“I haven’t drunk any yet, in case you were wondering,” he said without looking up at me.
He knew I’d find him.
I always did.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you had.” I slid onto a stool next to him.
“You know, I can still smell the vodka on her breath as she berated me. It used to make me sick to my stomach, still does.”
“Where’d you get the bottle, Levi?”