Someone Like You (Blue Club Books)

by Robin Hart

  S stop it, you were never a waste. I love being your friend

  S I’m sorry I was so obsessed

  S I had a good night tonight. I’ve realized how much pressure I could have taken off both of us if I’d just dated other girls and taken my own advice about improving my dating choices.

  N so I was a bad choice?

  S not at all. I’m just coming to grips with the fact that you’ll never want me, and that I’m okay with that

  N you are?

  S I will be. :/ More than anything I want to be your friend

  S I think you’d like Angela

  N I think not.

  S why?

  N I think she’s a giant. 2. I’m kind of jealous of her

  S what?

  N I know, it’s dumb. I’ve always had you to myself. But it’s only fair, since I’ll be going out with Ben.

  S so the douche bag’s name is Ben

  N excuse me, douche bag?

  S my bad, we’ve always called your guys douche bags. Habit, sorry

  N >;(

  S noooo angry face!

  N Of course! I don’t need you making assumptions for me

  N I make enough on my own

  S sorry nick, it really just was a slip

  S and come on, do you really expect me to be happy about this, this early? Being okay with you moving on and not to me is a work in progress.

  N I guess

  Nicole on the other side was wondering if she really wanted him to go through the effort. But she wasn’t ready for him. It wouldn’t be fair to make him wait. If this Angela giant could make him happy, then she would accept that she was too late.

  N It’s late, what are you doing tomorrow?

  S not that late. Just working out.

  N want to hang out?

  S like a date? :)

  N no :) I can only handle one good guy at a time. They mess with my psyche

  S fine. I can only handle one girl at a time…because I’m bad at it

  N I can see that. Want to meet here and just go to the beach for a bit?

  S only if you’ll let me take you to lunch. And show off with my tae kwon do on the beach.

  N only if you’ll let me vent about Ben.

  S groan. Jk!

  N:P

  S it’s a deal

  N see you then.

  S is signed off

  Nicole stood, stretched, and then pulled her nightshirt back down over her knees. She wondered if a nightshirt should even reach to her knees. No nightshirt probably would reach Angela’s, unless she had really short legs. Nicole hoped she did. Short legs and a super long torso. She wished she wasn’t pretty, and thin, and probably leggy and statuesque. She flopped face down on the bed and breathed into the blanket for as long as she could stand the air coming back to her face. Then she sat up. She moved to the window to close it. From the corner of her eyes, she saw something, someone, move out of sight, just a dark shadow that moved when she appeared. It shook her. She slammed the window down and stepped back. She looked down to make sure she’d been covered. If it had been a peeping tom though, wouldn’t they have stayed right there and stared? She looked back at the computer, but knew Sean had signed off. She didn’t want to worry her aunt over what might be an alley cat. She looked down at her phone, opened it, and texted. She knew she was being dumb, but she knew he wouldn’t mind. He would come for her. She may have lost him as a love, but he was still her best friend.

  Chapter 10: Rescue

  Sean ran down the stairs, flying over the last six and ending with a loud thud, when he realized he was still wearing his pajama pants, though he’d pulled on a shirt. He ran back up the stairs, yanking on the banister to keep his speed up, ran to jeans where he’d thrown them on the ground after taking them off, and then hit the stairs again, this time a bit more carefully, because he was feeling a bit woozy from the combination of adrenaline and rapidly going up and down the stairs. He grabbed his jacket from the couch by the door and let the door slam behind him, unlocked. Oh well, he could deal with it if someone broke in, nothing to steal and heaven help the person who took him on in his own house, Nicole on the other hand…

  Thunder sounded overhead, but there was no rain coming from the dark clouds barely visible in the dark night sky. Sean found the sound ominous as he got into his jeep and again, slammed the door. He started it up, checked his phone, quickly texted that he was in the car on his way, and peeled out.

  Nicole had had a lot of bad men in her life, but they weren’t usually openly bad. Just sleazy, wanting and waiting to take advantage of her bad boundaries and her bad taste. They weren’t the kind of men he could fight, or do anything about. Neither was the douche bag from the beach. But some creeper in the shadows outside watching her window? He could fix that. He would try. And he was, well happy wasn’t the right word, elated sounded too positive…he was excited that she had texted him, relied on him. He stared at the clock on the radio, wishing the minutes could slow so that he would be there in less time. Two minutes, five, ten and he finally turned onto her street, parking by the barrier to the beach on the other side of her aunt’s condo. He stopped the car and turned off the lights, then got out. He ran to the door and knocked quietly, in case Nicole’s aunt was asleep still, and Nicole pulled the door open almost as quickly as he could knock.

  “Sorry, I left as quick as I could.”

  “It’s okay.” Nicole said. Her hair was pulled back by an elastic band, and her eyes looked tired. Other than that she looked beautiful to him, delicate features drawn in a wash of worry and relief at seeing him. “It’s probably nothing. Did you see anyone?”

  She peeked from behind the door, but Sean blocked her view.

  “If they don’t know who lives here, it’s best to not let them see you, just in case.”

  Nicole blushed. Sean being protective was weird. He was always protective in letters and chats, but it was different to see him here in person, tall, broad, tan skin flushed and with a light sheen of sweat glowing in the dim outside light. Dark brows furrowed in concern, firm mouth pressed together as he pushed her back inside and shut the door gently to go check around the front.

  Sean looked around the side of the condo, nothing there, nor on the other side. He walked a little down the sidewalk, looking around the cars in front, and trashcans, and the sides of the other condos, no luck. He crossed the street and stepped over the barrier to the beach. He heard the front door creak open and saw Nicole in a large coat tiptoeing out behind him.

  He walked back to her, and her eyes widened, large and white in her face with an apologetic smile that turned to shock when he grabbed her behind the legs and put her over his shoulder, carried her inside with a shhhh, dumped her on the couch and told her to wait there. She glared at him and he didn’t care. She had called him and he couldn’t look around properly if he was worried about her traipsing around in her pajamas. Just as he was about to open the door he saw her stand again in his peripheral vision.

  “Darnit, there’s nothing you can do out there. You’ll just distract me. Stay here.”

  Her shoulders rounded a bit in defeat but she kept walking towards him.

  “What would you even do out there?” He said, pointing at the couch. “I’ll be back in a second, I just need to check the beach.”

  When she didn’t go back to the couch, but just stood there like an orphan, he walked over to her. He took a deep breath to explain once more why she couldn’t come when she put her arms around him, buried her face in his chest before he could even put his arms down, so he left them in the air, floating awkwardly as he wondered what to do.

  “Don’t leave me alone in here.” She mumbled into his chest.

  “What?” He said, wrapping his hands around her, enjoying that she was so short that her dark, frizzy hair didn’t even come up high enough to tickle his chin. He was only now realizing how small she really was. Even at 11, how had he ever let this tiny girl defend him? He was glad he wasn’t a kid anymore. />
  He put a hand up to stroke her hair gently. She flinched a bit at the touch but then sank back against him.

  “Should we sit down?”

  She nodded, not letting go, so he put an arm around her to tuck her to his side and walk over to the couch, where he gently pushed her to sit. He sat beside her, not close enough to touch. He was trying to be careful. She didn’t understand that he could have other motives, and he’d never take advantage of her like this. This Nick was vulnerable, tired, and real. He’d been waiting for her for too long to screw it up when she finally showed.

  “I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m acting lame, I know.”

  Sean admired how dark her eyes were in the dim living room, dark and black and going on forever when he stared into them. “You aren’t.” He said. “So tell me again, what did you see?”

  “I went to close the window.” She said, rubbing her palms against the pajamas covering her legs. “And I saw someone move out of the way, into the darkness.”

  “You’re sure?” He asked. “It wasn’t a cat?”

  He regretted it as soon as he said it. “I’m sorry, I know you aren’t the type to overreact, go on.”

  Her lips tensed and her eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t just that though. Lately, I just.” She looked down for a moment and Sean noticed that her eyelashes were long and thick against her cheek before she looked up. “I feel like I’m being watched.”

  Sean felt something well up inside him and tried to stop it. He’d been starting to distance himself from her. It was working. She could ask that other douche bag to help. No, she would only trust him. But of all things to put on him and expect him to not bond with her over, protecting her was maybe the hardest she could have asked of him. He didn’t know if it was because he cared that he felt protective of her, or because he wanted to protect her that he got to see and learn more about her and begin to care more deeply, but it was a bad recipe for two people trying to stay friends. He wondered if she could really see it as platonic.

  “I know it was selfish of me to call you.” She said. “I know you’re trying to move on, and I’m not trying to ruin that.”

  “I know.” He nodded, wishing she did want to ruin it.

  “I just didn’t know who else to ask, and I didn’t want to scare my aunt.” She laughed and leaned back against the couch with her hand in her dark curls. “I think she even has a gun in here somewhere. Can you imagine, in Cali?”

  Sean looked to the side innocently. He had a gun too, but Nicole didn’t need to know that. He’d use it too, if she were ever in danger.

  “What’s that look?”

  “Nothing.” He said. “I wish I could check the beach for you though.”

  “I know.” She said. She shook her head. “Don’t leave though. I’d rather you were here.” She looked up into his eyes for some time, and he felt bewitched by them, by their dark fringe and their clear darkness. “Can I lean on you?”

  Sean flinched a little. “Sure.” But he sat stone still, letting her decide what to do.

  “That feels nice.” She said, leaning against his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, just sat nervously sweating and hoping not to get aroused by anything.

  “Can you put your arm up?” She asked, trying to move it. He did.

  Nicole was surprised at how heavy his arms were, they were very thick, like the arms of typically shorter men, but he was tall. As he lifted his arm she snuggled into his side, and put her hand on his chest. She nearly gasped, because the muscle there was so smooth, so hard. When did Sean have a body like this? She tried not to run her hand down his abs. After all, he wasn’t her toy. He was here as her friend. He liked another girl. She had no right to notice now how thick his curly black hair was, how beautiful his abdomen was, how nice he smelled coming in from the night. Or how safe she felt under his arm. She sighed.

  Oh no, Sean thought, I can feel her boobs. Why can I feel her boobs? He hoped she wasn’t looking at his face. No, she was innocently snuggled against his side. Her face pointed down. Those aren’t boobs, he thought to himself, willing it to be true. Those are pillows. Completely unrelated to you, mister guy down there, so please don’t embarrass us both. But she moved and he felt them and knew they were boobs. He tried to think of unsexy things, like road kill, and hoped that in the future his body wouldn’t tie something like road kill with arousal. If necessary he could grab a pillow if he had to, and plop it over his lap.

  He reached a hand up to her hair and forgot about her boobs. She was so small and soft against him, she was willingly touching him, maybe out of fear, true, but touching him. Could she really only think of him as a friend? That was just unfair. But if there was any man she was safe doing this with, he had to admit it was probably him. He had gotten his body under control, and once again, his care for her feelings and safety were more important than anything else to him. She was his dark angel, and if he could just keep her safe, everything else would be fine.

  Then she reached down and grabbed his crotch.

  “Holy crap!” He jumped away from her off the couch. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m sorry.” She said, looking up at him guilty eyes. “I don’t know what happened.”

  “Huh.” He said, backing up to the wall and eyeing her suspiciously. “Why did you do that?”

  “I just.” She fidgeted then drew her legs up on the couch. “You have a nice chest.”

  “And?”

  “And okay, I was having a hard time just cuddling, but you didn’t seem affected at all.”

  “And?”

  “And I wanted to see if you’d react.” She said. “But it was wrong. I’m so sorry. See? This is why you shouldn’t be with someone like me.”

  He sighed and walked forward, but stayed out of range.

  “Look, you can’t do that.” He said. “We’re friends now. I don’t want that from you.”

  “But you came over.” She said.

  “And?”

  “In the middle of the night.”

  “And?”

  “I don’t know. If you didn’t want that, why did you come?”

  Sean felt like he had been asked why would he breathe if he didn’t want to eat cheese. Disconnect.

  “How is coming here related to you violating me?”

  “I thought you’d like it.”

  “What?” He whisper shouted, so he didn’t wake her aunt, and she flinched.

  “Well, I think you were getting an erection.” She said. “I thought I could help.”

  He felt like he’d been stabbed. “I don’t want your help.” He said. “I came here cause I was your friend. Not to use you like that.” He turned away from her, not wanting to let her see the anger or hurt, in case it would scare her. “How could you think I would want that?” He turned back and pinned her with an icy blue stare. “How? After everything I’ve done? After everything I’ve not done?”

  Nicole flinched at the anguish in his tone. “I’m sorry, okay?”

  He just stared.

  “I’m screwed up okay?” She said, standing and pacing on the other side of the room. “I don’t know how to deal with men, and I don’t know, I wanted you to stay with me.”

  Sean’s anger dissipated. “What?”

  “I thought you wouldn’t stay with me unless I did something for you.” She said. “It’s why I don’t ask anyone for help. I don’t know why anyone would help me if it’s not to get something.”

  He just watched her, carefully neutral. Listening.

  “I don’t understand why you would stay otherwise.” She said, and when she stopped pacing and faced him with her hands out, he could see a tear fall down her face. “No one wants anything but sex from me.”

  Sean moved forward, wanting to comfort, to help, but she moved back.

  “No, you already rejected me.” She said. “You can’t deal with someone like me.” She held herself with her arms, as if it was something she did often, to feel safe.

>   “I can.” He said. “I overreacted. I’m your friend.”

  “Even my dad. He should have cared for me.” She said, and the tears fell faster. “He only stayed for the sex too.”

  Sean felt a deep, resonating ache, because it didn’t surprise him, it just gave him final permission to feel as sad as he always had that he didn’t protect her, that she’d gone through all of that alone. Combined with the trail of douche bags she’d been through since. He wished he could go smash the man’s face. Kill him. But that wouldn’t help her now.

  “Nicole.” He said, approaching slowly, trying to look gentle, because she looked like a stray that would rather be put down than adopted by another monster, or worse, someone who would abandon her again. “Can I come over to you?”

  She nodded, unable to speak, silently crying.

  “Nicole. I will stay with you.” He said, wanting to touch her but trying to communicate with his body language alone that he cared. “I will show you that people can stay with you. That they don’t need anything in return.”

  “It’s not true!” She said, pushing him away. “You wanted more than I can give, and you moved on to someone else when I couldn’t give it.”

  “I thought you wanted someone else.” He said. “I didn’t want to burden you.”

  “I don’t know what I want.” She said. “I feel like I’m only just barely figuring it out.”

  He nodded, folded his arms across his chest, then felt it looked defensive and let them slump at his side.

  “I just know I can’t lose you as a friend.” She said. “You’re all I have.”

  “Not true.” He said.

  “You’re the only one who stays, but hasn’t had more.” She said. “I just don’t want you to leave.”

  She walked over to him, and he froze, letting her control the space between them. When she put her hands on his arms and looked up to his face, then moved in as if to kiss him, he pushed her away again, gently but firmly.

  “No.” He said. “You can’t buy me Nicole. Not that way.” He put an arm around her and took her back to the couch. “If you want me to stay, I’ll tell you my price.”