Elegy w-4

by Amanda Hocking

  “But what I’m really mad about is that you didn’t tell me.” She looked him right in the eyes. “I trusted you, Daniel, with everything, with all of me, and you … You didn’t do the same.”

  “No, Harper, it wasn’t about trust. I knew that if I told you, you’d try to talk me out of it, and I couldn’t…” He paused, sighing. “I knew that when you found out, this would be over. But I didn’t know how else to keep you safe.”

  “That is bullshit, Daniel!” She got up and walked away from him, too angry even to be near him. Pulling the flannel shirt more tightly around her, Harper glared down at him. “You weren’t gonna tell me until after! Were you ever even gonna tell me?”

  “I don’t know,” he admitted.

  “I can’t believe you.” Harper buried her fingers in her hair, holding her head as she tried to process what he’d just told her. Then she took a deep breath and lowered her arms. “I sat on your couch today, texting you I love you, and you were about to go screw my mortal enemy. And I don’t give a shit how noble or valid your reasons are, you should’ve told me, and you know it.”

  Daniel stood up, and she could see the tears in his eyes. “I am so very sorry, Harper.”

  “What were you thinking?” she asked, restraining herself from screaming it at him. She wanted to hit him and yell at him and demand to know how he could do this, how he could ruin something that was so amazing and destroy the one thing in her life that was nearly perfect.

  “I just had to protect you,” he said simply.

  “And how did you protect me? By hurting me in the worst possible way?”

  “No, I didn’t…” He shook his head. “I didn’t mean for any of this.”

  “All this time, you’ve been pushing to get close to me, and I tried to keep you at arm’s length. But you clawed your way into my life, and you made me fall in love with you, and you promised never to hurt me, and you fought so hard to earn my trust.” She let out a small sob when she realized the horrible truth of what he’d just done. “And now I don’t think I can ever trust you again.”

  “You would’ve talked me out of it!” Daniel shouted, as if that would convince her somehow. “What else was I supposed to do?”

  “You were supposed to talk to me!” Harper yelled back. “And if it would’ve been so easy for me to talk you out of, then it wasn’t the right thing to do, Daniel! Because if it was the right thing, I would’ve let you do it, even if it hurt.”

  With a stricken expression on his face, he said, “I’m sorry.”

  “No. Stop. I can’t hear that anymore. I think I’m gonna be sick.” She ran over and grabbed her iPod and book bag from where they sat next to the fireplace. “I have to get out of here.”

  “No, Harper, wait.” He moved toward her, like he meant to touch her, and she pulled back away from him.

  “I can’t. I can’t talk to you right now. I can’t even look at you.”

  “I don’t want to leave things like this.”

  She started toward the door, pushing by him. “I don’t care what you want.”

  “Harper. I love you,” he said, and she stopped to look back at him.

  “I don’t believe you,” she said with tears in her eyes, then she turned away and left.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Impact

  Harper arrived at her house just before midnight, and she’d somehow managed not to cry the whole way home. It was completely dark, so she crept up the stairs to her old room, hoping not to disturb anyone. She’d just reached the top of the stairs when Gemma emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her hair.

  “Harper. What are you doing here?” Gemma asked.

  “Um, I just…” She ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath.

  “What happened? Are you okay?”

  Harper was still only wearing Daniel’s flannel shirt and her new lingerie. Fortunately, she’d buttoned up the shirt, and it was too big for her, so it covered up a lot. She’d been in such a hurry to leave the island that she hadn’t bothered to put anything else on.

  “I think I may have just broken up with Daniel,” Harper said finally, and she started to cry.

  “Oh, Harper. Come on.” Gemma put her arm around her and ushered her into Harper’s bedroom. She made sure to close the door behind them so they wouldn’t awaken Brian, and Harper sat down on the bed.

  “Did you know that he was sleeping with Penn?” Harper asked her.

  Gemma had been standing in front of her, and she sighed before sitting down on the bed next to her.

  “No,” Gemma said at length. “I mean, I thought something might be going on, but Daniel insisted he had it under control. Then tonight, he kinda confirmed my worst suspicions, and I told him he that he needed to tell you what was going on.”

  Harper laughed to keep from crying. “Well, he did.”

  “So did he … actually have sex with her?” Gemma asked carefully.

  “He says he didn’t, but I don’t know if I believe him.” She shrugged. “I don’t know if I can believe anything he says.”

  “Did he say why he was doing it?”

  “For you and me. He didn’t elaborate too much on it, but I guess Penn told him he either sleeps with her, or she kills us.” Harper chewed the inside of her cheek. “So he was doing it to protect me.”

  “He loves you, Harper.” Gemma put her hand on her back, rubbing it. “And I’m not saying that you should forgive him or that he was right. But anything he’s done, he’s done for you.”

  “He may have done the wrong thing for the right reason, but that doesn’t make it okay. It’s still the wrong thing,” Harper said. “As soon as Penn came to him and gave him the ultimatum, he should’ve come to me, and said, ‘This is what’s going on. This is what I need to do.’”

  “I know. He should’ve talked to you,” Gemma agreed.

  “That’s what hurts me the most. I don’t know if I could ever be okay with his sleeping with another woman, especially one as vile and twisted as Penn. But I understand why he wanted to go through with it, and if it was for you, too, not just my own life, and maybe…”

  “You don’t need to sacrifice your relationship for me, Harper,” Gemma told her resolutely. “I can take care of myself.”

  “If he’d talked to me about it, I honestly don’t know what I would’ve said,” Harper indicated. “If I could really agree to it. Because I love him so much, and I would never want him to be with someone else or whore himself out like that. And I know that sounds selfish, like my sister’s life versus sharing him, so maybe I would’ve said yes.”

  Harper shook her head. “But that’s not even the point.”

  “What do you mean?” Gemma asked.

  “It doesn’t matter if I would’ve agreed with his choices or not,” she explained. “It’s that he made such a drastic choice, one that really affected him and me and our relationship, and he didn’t consult me at all. He snuck around.”

  “I think he just didn’t want to worry you,” Gemma said.

  Harper scoffed. “You do that, and he does that, and it’s ridiculous. I am eighteen years old. I am your older sister, and his girlfriend. You don’t need to treat me like a little kid and keep hiding things from me. Stop trying to spare my feelings. I’m with you in all of this.”

  “I know. And I’m trying to include you in everything,” Gemma said, allowing a defensive note in her tone. “I just don’t want to interfere with your life more than I have to.”

  “You’re not interfering!” Harper was nearly shouting, and she hurried to lower her voice so as not to wake her dad. “You are my life. You and Mom and Dad. And Daniel. You’re the most important things in my life.”

  Gemma smiled at her. “I’m sorry, and I’ll do better. I promise.”

  “Thank you.” Harper ran a hand through her hair and tried to shake off her feelings. “And I’m sorry for being all teen angst right now.”

  When there was so much going on, so many things that were va
stly more important than her and her relationships, Harper felt selfish and ridiculous getting so upset over them. Losing Daniel felt immense to her, but there were bigger problems at hand. Like the fact that the sirens had killed someone tonight.

  “Liv killed Aiden Crawford,” Harper said, and her sister lowered her eyes.

  “I know.” Gemma sounded so weary just then, but when she spoke again, her voice was stronger, more confident. “That’s why it’s so important that I work even harder. I’ve been practicing more, trying to harness the siren powers, and if Penn doesn’t get Liv under control, I think I might have to take care of her myself.”

  “You’re planning to kill Liv?” Harper asked, forcing herself to keep her words even.

  Gemma nodded. “If I need to, yeah. If we don’t break the curse soon, I can’t let her keep running around like she is now. She’ll kill everybody if she has the chance.”

  “But are you ready for something like that?” Harper asked.

  “I don’t know. But I’m getting myself ready. I’m not gonna go after her right now. But … soon.”

  Naturally, Harper wanted to yell at Gemma and tell her she couldn’t do any of that. It was way too dangerous going up against another siren like that, especially one as crazed as Liv.

  But deep down, Harper knew that Gemma was right. Liv couldn’t be left to run loose, terrorizing everyone in Capri like some kind of sexy Godzilla. Gemma was much stronger than Harper, and if she got a handle on her siren strength, then she would be able to take Liv out much better than anybody else could.

  For the first time, Harper truly realized that she couldn’t fight Gemma’s battles. She would help her every chance she got, and she’d always have her back. But some things, Gemma would have to take care of herself.

  “Don’t do anything that will get you hurt,” Harper said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  Gemma leaned over and hugged Harper. It had been a long time since Gemma had initiated a hug with her, and for a moment, Harper just let herself linger in the moment, letting her little sister comfort her.

  “Anyway, I’ve had a very long night, and it seems like you have, too. We can talk about all of this in the morning.” Gemma stopped and looked over at Harper. “Will you still be here in the morning?”

  “For a little bit. I’ll be up kinda early to get back to school.”

  “I’ll be up.”

  Just before Gemma left the room, Harper asked, “Gemma, you don’t … Do you think Daniel wanted to have sex with Penn? And that’s why he didn’t tell me?”

  And it wasn’t until she said it aloud that she realized that she’d been afraid it was true. Some small part of her believed that Daniel lied to her because he secretly found her lacking and wanted to spend the night with someone far more experienced and beautiful than her.

  “No.” Gemma shook her head emphatically. “He seemed genuinely upset about it, and when I’ve talked to him about Penn, he’s never expressed anything but disgust for her. Sleeping with her would have been as terrible for him as it would have been for you.”

  After Gemma left, Harper climbed under the covers and curled up in her bed. She was still wearing Daniel’s shirt, and it smelled sweetly of him. As she cried softly into her pillow, Harper had no idea if she’d done the right thing with Daniel. The one thing she did know was that she still loved him desperately.

  TWENTY-NINE

  Divergence

  It was still dark out when the doorbell rang. Gemma trudged down the stairs, cursing under her breath as she went to answer the door.

  “Who’s here?” Brian asked as he stumbled out of his bedroom, still half-asleep.

  “Not sure. I’m getting it now,” Gemma called up to him.

  Whoever it was had stopped ringing the bell and resorted to pounding incessantly on the front door. Gemma opened the door midpound and found Marcy in a weird, owl pajama jumper and acid-wash jean jacket combo.

  “Marcy. What the he—”

  “Lydia found her,” Marcy said, sounding more excited than Gemma had ever heard her sound before. “She’s found Diana.”

  “Marcy’s here?” Brian asked. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything’s fine,” Gemma shouted, and somehow managed to keep from jumping up and down in excitement.

  “Hasn’t she ever heard of a phone?” her dad muttered, and she heard the upstairs bathroom door squeak shut as he went inside.

  “So Lydia really found the Diana?” Gemma asked Marcy.

  “Diana?” Harper echoed from the top of the stairs, and she raced down the stairs to join Gemma in the open doorway.

  “When? How?” Gemma asked.

  “Just now. Lydia’s been crawling through Audra’s notes and Thalia’s diary, and she knew she was close, so she was staying up all night, and she finally did it.” Marcy broke out in an uncharacteristically broad smile.

  “Where is Diana?” Harper asked, sounding out of breath. “She’s alive, right? When can we see her?”

  “Yes, she’s alive,” Marcy said, and Harper let out a sigh of relief. “She lives just outside Charleston, West Virginia, and we can see her as soon as we get ready and go.”

  “West Virginia?” Gemma wrinkled her nose. “That seems like a strange place for a goddess in hiding to live.”

  “Yeah, well it’s strange that jellyfish don’t have eyes, girls have to pee sitting down, and that you’re a mythical creature,” Marcy said. “So let’s not start splitting hairs now about what’s strange.”

  “What’s going on?” Brian asked. He came down the stairs and flicked on the overhead light. “You found somebody?”

  Gemma turned back to see her dad walking down the stairs. A five o’clock shadow colored his face, and he ran a hand through his sandy hair. He was only wearing a T-shirt and boxers, but he seemed too sleepy to really care that company was seeing him that way.

  “Yeah, you remember Diana?” Gemma asked him. “She’s the goddess that helped Thalia out of the muse thing.”

  His blue eyes widened as he became more alert. “And she’ll be able to help you?”

  Gemma nodded. “We hope so.”

  “How far away is Charleston?” Harper asked, then she turned around, scanning the room. “Where’s my laptop?” Then she stopped. “Shit. I think I left it in my car last night.”

  As she brushed past Marcy and dashed out into the chilly night, Brian stared after her in confusion.

  The jagged scar on Harper’s thigh from the car accident extended long past the hem of Daniel’s shirt, but she didn’t seem to notice even though she was normally very self-conscious about anyone’s seeing it, even Gemma or their dad. But she ran outside to grab her laptop from her car without a second thought.

  Harper’s eyes were red and puffy, like she’d been crying all night, and her makeup-smeared raccoon eyes only added to that effect. But what had happened with Daniel last night seemed to be replaced by her new focus on getting to Diana as quickly as possible.

  “Wait a second,” Brian said. “Harper’s supposed to be at college. What is she doing here?”

  “She came in to see Daniel last night for his birthday, and she’s going back to school in the morning,” Gemma said, since she wasn’t sure how much—if anything—her sister wanted their dad to know about the big fight with Daniel last night. “Well, she was. I’m not sure if she will now.”

  Brian scowled, deep lines marring his tanned face. “I told her that she shouldn’t come to town for that. She’s already missing so much school already.”

  “Are you talking about me?” Harper asked as she came back inside. “I’ll get my homework. I’ll e-mail teachers, it’ll be fine. But this is too important.”

  Harper sat down in the living room chair and opened her computer on her lap. Brian might have lectured her about the importance of actually going to school, but by the intense expression in her eyes, he must’ve known she wasn’t listening right now.

  “So where’s Lydia?” Ge
mma asked, turning her attention back to Marcy. “Is she coming with us?”

  “She’s in Sundham still, but yeah, she insisted on coming along. She wants to help ensure that everything goes okay.”

  “Are you coming, too?” Gemma asked.

  Marcy snorted. “Duh. I’m not missing a chance to meet a goddess. This is pretty much what I’ve been waiting for my whole life.”

  “Okay, I got it. Charleston, West Virginia, from Capri.” Harper looked up from the computer screen and tucked her dark hair behind her ears. “It looks like it’s almost a nine-hour drive.”

  Gemma grimaced. “That sounds too long.”

  “What do you mean?” Harper asked.

  “That’s so far away from water. When I go to Sundham, I get really bad headaches, and Sundham’s not even that far from the ocean. The watersong has a crazy pull,” Gemma explained. “Driving for sixteen hours round-trip, we’d be gone for over a day. I’d rather not be that far inland for so long.”

  “Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it all?” Harper asked.

  “I’ll make myself handle what I need to, but we have to keep this trip as short as possible,” Gemma said. “Besides that, if I’m gone too long, the sirens will notice I’m missing, and we really don’t want that.”

  “Are you telling the sirens you’re leaving?” Brian asked her.

  “Um…” Gemma thought for a second. “I’ll tell Thea I’m gonna go visit Harper in Sundham. That way, if they see that I’m gone or something, it will seem less suspicious.”

  “Is it safe for you to go? With the watersong and the sirens, maybe you should stay behind,” Brian said with a mixture of vulnerability and worry in his expression that tore at Gemma’s heart.

  Her dad wanted to tell her not to go, to forbid her, but to do that would only make things worse. As dangerous as he might fear this would be, he understood that this might be Gemma’s last hope at breaking free.

  “Dad, I have to go.” She smiled at him and shrugged helplessly. “Diana might be the one who can break the curse. I have to be there.”