The Yellow Rose Beauty Shop

by Carolyn Brown

  “Boone invited Preacher Jed to the fish fry. I didn’t know that he was a fisherman until tonight. We’re going out tomorrow evening on my boat after it cools down to see if we can catch some crappie. I hear they’re runnin’ pretty good,” Everett said.

  “That mean we might have another fish fry before long?” Agnes asked.

  “If we catch enough, we’ll get Boone to bring his fryer and have one in a couple of weeks at my place. That way Nancy can be there. She’s at some kind of church foo-rah tonight talkin’ about that prayer shit they do on Thursdays. Looks to me like one night a week would be enough. Just pray and leave it in the good Lord’s hands, but oh, no, we got to talk about prayin’ before we do it,” Everett said.

  Jed touched the tip of his baseball cap. “Miz Agnes. Miz Stella. I believe summer has arrived.”

  “It damn sure has. How long are you going to leave that sign up down at the church?” Agnes asked.

  Stella fought the blush turning her cheeks bright crimson, but she lost.

  “Heather takes care of that sign, so you’ll have to ask her.” Jed smiled.

  “Brother Jed! Brother Jed!” Piper’s boys jumped out of her car and went running before she could make them help her carry food and paper plates to the pavilion where Boone and Charlotte were frying fish and hush puppies.

  Piper saw both Charlotte and Stella wore jean shorts and tank tops. Why hadn’t she called them before she went to all the trouble to iron the red-and-white-checkered dress that made her feel like she was wearing a picnic tablecloth now that she was at the park? Charlotte had pulled her brown hair up in a short ponytail and Stella had a baseball cap on.

  Piper had curled her hair and now it was sticking to her neck. She’d put on makeup and was sweating it all off. All she needed was a bow and a quiver of arrows on her back and she could be one of those Amazon women from the jungle who’d overdressed for a damn picnic in the park.

  “They’re too excited to see Jed to help me carry things and y’all should have told me to wear shorts,” she whispered when they arrived to help carry the food to the picnic table.

  “You look great,” Charlotte said. “The way that Luke and Tanner are all excited about the preacher, maybe you should use the fact that you’re the prettiest one here tonight to flirt with him.”

  “I should’ve worn shorts,” she whispered.

  Stella picked up a huge bowl of potato salad. “We feel like ugly ducklings up beside you. Maybe we should go home and change.”

  Using two oven mitts, Charlotte picked up the oversize Crock-Pot of baked beans. “These smell scrumptious. Wait until the preacher realizes that you cook as well as you look.”

  “Stop it right now. I’m tellin’ you I’m not through being mad at Gene and it’s not time to start a new relationship even if my boys think Jed has wings and a halo,” Piper told them.

  All that talk about getting Stella married off must have put the ringing of wedding bells in her two best friends’ heads. She could understand Charlotte trying to play matchmaker, but not Stella. That redhead was on a mission to prove her mama wrong, so she shouldn’t be pushing her toward the preacher.

  Whoa! Wait just a damn minute. Hold the horses and don’t fire the cannons. Stella was flushed and her eyes were twinkling like they did when she was hiding something. New boyfriend was in their midst; Piper could feel the vibes and the sparks. Now it was just a matter of figuring out which one of those single men was the one. She scanned the group as she started back toward the picnic table and bit back the gasp.

  Sweet Jesus! Stella had to be sleeping with Boone’s older brother, Rhett, who was over there helping fry fish. He had done the rodeo rounds and he’d driven a truck back when he was in college and she’d said that her secret boyfriend had done those things. That’s exactly who it was and she didn’t want to tell anyone because Rhett had always been Cadillac’s resident bad boy. Nancy was going to go up in flames if that praying business netted her Rhett Monroe for a son-in-law.

  Well, dammit! Charlotte and Stella would be sisters-in-law—would that leave her out in the cold? No, but it could change the dynamics among the whole bunch of them.

  “How did Agnes get here?” Piper asked to take her mind off the idea of being a third wheel in the family.

  “She waylaid me with sweet tea when I was about to have a heatstroke and offered to drive me the rest of the way,” Stella answered.

  “And which one of these cowboys are you sleeping with? I know it’s one of them, so fess up. I can feel the vibes comin’ off you like a heat wave and it don’t have a thing to do with the hundred-degree weather, either. Is it Rhett?” Piper said.

  Stella set the potato salad on the table with a thud. “What makes you think I’d be interested in Rhett?”

  “You said the worst choice in the whole world. Nancy is going to pass plumb out when she hears that you are sleeping with Rhett. She might refuse to keep a grandbaby if he fathers it.”

  Stella gasped. “Shhh . . . ?”

  “No one heard me,” Piper said. “But believe me I will be watching you. I wish your mama was here rather than spending time with that bossy Heather tonight. She’d be smart enough to figure out who your boyfriend is.”

  “What if it is Rhett?” Stella said.

  “What about my future brother-in-law?” Charlotte asked after joining their circle.

  “He makes the best fish in the whole county. We should have a fish festival instead of a chili cook-off,” Stella said quickly.

  “That ain’t about to happen. The chili cook-off is a tradition and you know how the old folks in Cadillac are about tradition. But guess what I heard this afternoon?” Charlotte said.

  “What?” Piper whispered.

  With a head motion toward Piper’s car, she mouthed, “Follow me.”

  “Man, those beans smell good,” Rhett said.

  “Mama’s special recipe.” Piper smiled. “Fish about ready?”

  Rhett flashed a brilliant grin. “Oh, yeah. We’re going to start servin’ it up in five minutes, and you look mighty nice this evening, Miz Piper.”

  Rhett was even sexier than his younger brother, Boone. Both of the brothers were tall, dark, and handsome, but Rhett had an air about him that drew women like a flame brings in the moths. His eyes were darker brown than Boone’s, his face more chiseled, and that cleft in his chin flat spelled danger.

  Charlotte had fallen for the right Monroe boy back in high school, though. Boone was the steady one, the one who’d make a good husband and father. Rhett had the reputation of never sticking around in a relationship long enough to get past the third or fourth date. Suddenly, Piper wasn’t sure she wanted to be right about her best friend’s new fellow, but being Stella’s best friend, it was her job to find out more about Rhett before she passed judgment.

  “Thank you, Rhett. I’ve got to go unlock the trunk of my car so we can get the napkins and extra paper plates.” Piper smiled.

  “Need some help?” he asked.

  “No, Charlotte and Stella are already headed that way, but thank you.”

  The two women had their heads together, whispering, and Piper couldn’t wait to find out what it was all about. She pushed between them and looked from one to the other.

  “Okay, what’d I miss? My Lord, Stella, you are white as a ghost,” Piper asked.

  “I just told her what Agnes found out from Beulah a couple of minutes ago,” Charlotte said out the side of her mouth. “I happened to be standing close enough that Agnes told me when she finished talkin’.”

  “She didn’t. They didn’t. My God!” Stella said.

  “What? Who did what?” Piper asked again.

  “It has been decided that Cadillac needs something more formal than the chili cook-off and the Fourth of July thing at the football field and the jubilee,” Charlotte said.

  “A fish
festival after all?” Piper asked.

  Agnes joined them. “Did you tell Stella?”

  Charlotte nodded. “You can fill Piper in on the news.”

  Agnes leaned against the fender of Piper’s car. “The war has taken a new turn. On the last Saturday night in July there’s going to be a ball in Cadillac. All the details have not been ironed out, but it’s going to be something like a debutante ball for everyone, but mainly for the women who aren’t married and who should be. Stella is the prime target, because it’s been officially named the Yellow Rose Barbecue Ball but any woman that ain’t married is fair game. Heather says that this is a giant leap for her new marriage ministry.” Agnes lowered her voice to a whisper. “And on the other side of the gossip fence I heard that Charlotte was seen buying pink yarn at Walmart and that Stella is far enough along now that she knows it’s a girl.”

  “Shit! How many stories are floating around?” Stella asked.

  “A bunch, but that’s the two I like best, and before you ask, I’m going to the ball. I wouldn’t miss it for the whole world. It’ll be the perfect time to show the whole damn bunch of them that I’m still the boss of Cadillac,” Agnes said.

  “I’m damn sure not going,” Piper said.

  “I didn’t give them permission to use my beauty shop name in their idea,” Stella said.

  “They say it’s for ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas,’ that song that Roy Rogers and Johnny Cash and half a dozen other singers have sung,” Agnes said. “But we know it’s just Heather slapping you in the face so we have to retaliate. They think they’re so damn smart. Well, we’ll mow them under like dead grass before the summer is over.”

  Piper groaned. “I’m not being a part of any such thing. I’ve got enough troubles of my own right now.”

  “Bullshit,” Agnes said. “They’ve insulted your friend and you will be a part of it so suck it up, Piper. Put on your armor and get out your army tanks. We’re going to war. Praise God! I thought I was going to die of pure damn old boredom.”

  “Barbecue ball? That sounds like it comes right of Duck Dynasty.” Charlotte laughed. “And I really was buying pink yarn. I’m ready to put the border on Cathy’s baby blanket and make the matching booties and sweater.”

  Agnes shrugged. “I figured that much out, but you know how people do love to talk. My snitch says we’ll get any more news soon as it comes out so we can plan our strategy, but Heather has talked her aunt, who is Violet if y’all will remember, into letting them use her big old barn out on the Prescott place for the ball. They ain’t growed cattle out there for years, so I reckon it’s full of spiders and snakes. I just wonder if Heather is going to pull off her high heels and help clean it up.”

  “Now, that’s a funny picture in my head,” Stella said.

  “It is, ain’t it? Only thing funnier is puttin’ Violet in it with her. Now let’s go eat fish. Did you make them beans by your mama’s recipe, Piper? I’m going to eat half of that pot full and be damned to the gas it will produce,” Agnes said.

  “How in the hell do a ball and barbecue get mixed up together?” Stella asked Charlotte.

  “Y’all walk slow so I can hear what you are sayin’,” Agnes said.

  “I could see barbecue and a barn dance, but a ball? A ball means a sit-down dinner with waiters that bring chicken cordon bleu or maybe prime rib, not barbecue,” Piper answered. “Barbecue means beer, paper plates, and country music.”

  “Do we all have to wear white dresses and long white gloves?” Charlotte asked.

  “Not me. If I go, I’m wearing a camouflage gown with a hot pink sash,” Stella said. “Mama says that redheads can’t wear red or hot pink, so I’ll fix it up real good.”

  “Nancy would probably make that dress for you if you just asked her to,” Piper said.

  Stella shot a dirty look her way.

  Agnes stopped in her tracks when her rooster-crowing phone sounded off in the bib pocket of her overalls. “Y’all hold up.”

  She listened awhile and then said thank you. “Now you can walk again, but keep it slow. I ain’t no young chicken no more. That was my snitch. And for the record, girls, you are all three going to the ball. Piper and Charlotte are going to support you, Stella, because they are your best friends and that’s what friends do. I’ll be there, too, and we’ll show them that they’ve failed in their mission. If I can go to Violet’s place, then y’all will go. No arguments.”

  “What else did your snitch say?” Piper asked.

  “Heather is bringing in air conditioners to cool the place down so the ladies won’t get too hot and they’re going to start designing the interior next week. They say it’s going to be something like one of those renaissance fair things down in Dallas, only instead of turkey legs, they’ll be serving barbecue. I’m not sure if y’all are going to cook it or if y’all are just supposed to eat it in your fancy dresses. Maybe we ought to borrow them big bibs they use at the nursing home. Barbecue can get messy.”

  “God help us!” Piper set down the box she’d brought from her car.

  “Who is God helping, if I may ask?” Jed raised an eyebrow.

  “He’s going to help all of us.” Tanner nodded his head seriously. “God does that when people pray in church, don’t he, Preacher Jed?”

  “I think maybe he does, son,” Jed answered.

  Piper blushed when she saw Luke wink at Tanner. Surely those two weren’t playing matchmaker. They’d been devastated when their father left. They’d really acted out when they went to stay overnight with him the first time and Rita had been there. Gene had been so angry at the way they’d treated his girlfriend that he’d told Piper they couldn’t come back unless she taught them some manners.

  “You look mighty pretty tonight, Piper,” Rhett said.

  “Thank you, sir.” She smiled. “You boys get one of those wipes from the container over there and clean your hands.”

  “Jed, you want to say the blessing over this food before we start?” Boone pulled off his ball cap and laced his fingers in Charlotte’s.

  Jed laced his hands behind his back and every head bowed. No one, not even Piper, saw Stella slip her hand over his during grace.

  “Amen, now let’s eat!” Agnes said the minute he finished.

  Charlotte sat between Boone and Stella. Piper was across the table beside Jed with the twins bookending them.

  “Looks pretty good, don’t it?” Charlotte whispered into Stella’s ear.

  “I always love fish cooked outside,” Stella said.

  “Not that. Piper and the preacher.”

  Stella shrugged. “Oh! I don’t think she’s ready to date.”

  Jed had kicked his sandal off under the table and ran a foot up the inside of Stella’s calf. Her whole body tingled at his touch. She looked across the table and caught a quick wink.

  “What are y’all whispering about?” Piper asked.

  “My wedding dinner. Shall we have a buffet or sit-down dinner?” Charlotte said quickly. “And the barbecue ball. Can you believe that the prayer group is doing that? Now this whole thing is going to last for weeks, not just until Heather takes that sign down.”

  “What thing? What barbecue?” Boone asked.

  Charlotte leaned over and kissed Boone on the cheek. “Looks like Cadillac is having a festival this summer. It’s going to be a formal ball where barbecue is served.”

  Everett slapped the table. “Don’t tell me your mama and those women in that damned club have come up with this shitty idea in hopes of finding you a husband, Stella Joy. Lord, I about burned down the church this morning when I saw that damned sign. I don’t know what in the hell your mama was thinkin’ but I’ll tell you one thing, she’s mighty sorry she ever stirred up this pile of shit. She was hoping it would be over after that damned bake sale tomorrow.”

  Rhett picked up a gallon of sweet tea and filled pla
stic glasses. “Well, Stella, darlin’, you know that you are getting long in the tooth. Lord, how old are you? Forty?”

  She pointed a finger at him. “Not even near thirty and you’d better be careful, buster. They might put you on the list next. Marryin’ you off would be a real feather in Heather’s marriage ministry cap.”

  “They’d wear calluses on their knees if they started praying for me. Marriage ministry? Sounds like an Internet dating service for the religious folks, don’t it?” Rhett laughed.

  Agnes blew on a piece of fish and waited for it to cool. “Looks to me like them stupid hussies might as well just round up all the unmarried women like cattle and slap a brand on their asses. I’d ask for your pardon, Jed, but I really don’t give a shit what you think of my language. But I’m here to tell you three girls that I’ll need bodyguards to keep Violet from killin’ me at that barn dance. She’ll be all up in the middle of this ball since her niece is ringleading the new wedding preacher shit.”

  “Well, you can bet your sweet southern ass I’m not going to be a part of such shenanigans,” Everett said.

  “But Daddy, you make the best barbecue in the whole state and you know Mama has probably already volunteered you to do all the smokin’,” Stella said.

  Everett’s eyebrows drew down in one heavy line across his green eyes. “I’ll smoke the brisket if I can tear that damned sign down and use the wood for the fire.”

  Stella gasped. “It’d taste like shit, Daddy. You have to have your special wood to make good barbecue.”

  “I’ll go without a fuss if you’re doin’ the cookin’,” Boone said. “Only thing I like better than fish is your smoked brisket and turkey. Oh, and your chicken and pork loin, too.”

  “You might as well suck it up, Everett. Nancy won’t give you a minute’s peace if you refuse to cook. Smart thing to do is to volunteer before she can tell you that you are going to do it. That way you win and them women lose,” Agnes said.

  “Well, I’m damn sure not gettin’ all dressed up. If I can’t go in my jeans or overalls, I ain’t goin’,” Everett declared.