The older man smiled. “You tellin’ me you haven’t hiked a mile or two in your day?”
Asa laughed, “Yes, sir, but this yellow edge to my hat says cavalry, not infantry. Of course, I have had to hoof it more than a few times but I was just thinkin’ that as anxious as I am to get home I sure don’t fancy makin’ my way over the back mountain on foot at night all the way to Rush if I can help it.”
“M-m-m… I guess the least I can do for a veteran is to offer you a meal and place to sleep. Those stripes say you’re no Johnny come lately, you been in for the long ride, I’d say. Come on sergeant, I’ll stand you a bit of grub and loan you a blanket. You can bed down in here for the night. Your postman is sure to show up in the morning. He always has.”
His supper was home fries and scrapple with a big slice of shoo-fly pie to top it off. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten anything that good. The bench in the station was too narrow so he settled for the floor which didn’t bother him a bit since it was warm and dry. Even though it was mid-July the night air was cool with a hint of rain. Asa slept a little and paced a little, grateful to be under roof and hearing voices that had that familiar “ah-h sound”
Something that Asa thought for the moment was the thump of artillery fire woke him from his troubled sleep. Groping for his weapon he shook himself awake and saw the station manager standing close by with a kindly look and a cup of hot coffee in his hand. “Easy there, what you hear is mail sacks hitting the ground, son, not cannon fire. Them big guns boomin’ is not a sound one forgets easily, is it; but, up and at ‘em Sergeant if you’re wantin’ a ride. Don‘t know if you’ll know the driver, of course, but he is from your neck of the woods and says he has room for another pair of hands.
Asa accepted the proffered mug of strong brew his benefactor was offering him and downed it quickly. To his great surprise he recognized the man from Rush and greeted him gratefully. “Your folks know you’re comin’? No one’s said a word to me. Your brother’s been home and gone again I’m sorry to say. Headed west for Michigan I hear. How about you? Planning on stayin’ around for while? Your uncle will likely be glad to see you. Be lots of work gettin’ in the crop come fall. Had a pretty good summer, considerin’. Ol’ Justus has his hands full with the smithy and the farm. Your grandma would be proud the way he’s managed.”
Heaving the last sack into the back of the wagon Asa climbed aboard only half listening to the man’s chatter. He brushed a bit of straw from his shoulder looking at his heavy uniform which seemed very much out of place here in this busy little town completely untouched by the war.
“Can you hold up for a few minutes?” He asked suddenly noticing the shopkeeper in front of the mercantile sweeping his sidewalk. Jumping back to the ground Asa hurried across the street full of wagons and snorting horses. “Please, sir, I’d like to buy a shirt and some work pants. This outfit seems a bit warm for this weather.” The man laughed and motioned Asa inside. Within a few ticks of the station’s clock Mister Hickok emerged clad more appropriately in canvas pants and cotton shirt. No more Sergeant and saluting. Asa tossed the wrapped parcel containing his previous identity under the wagon set and offered his driver a chaw from his just purchased stash.
The two men traveled the long miles companionably but the returning soldier grew more and more nervous as the familiar sights of home began to appear. The driver lapsed into a more contemplative mood leaving Asa to his own thoughts. When they finally pulled up in front of the familiar general store no one took note of the newly arrived young man in work clothes. Smoke and cinders filled the air from the nearby smithy causing Asa to momentarily cringe at the too familiar acrid smell he’d left in his wake just a few short weeks ago. Helping the wagon driver unload he thanked him profusely and set off for the Hickok farm. He was anxious to find out if he was welcome under these new circumstances and to ready himself for that all important call at the Kunkle place.
Aunt Mary was hanging out the laundry as Asa approached the house. He could see that the oldest boy had a hoe in his hands and was working the soil around the jumble of greenery lining the rows of what looked like a kitchen garden. The other two boys were nowhere to be seen and he had trouble remembering their names. He supposed they wouldn’t remember him all that well either. Too much time had passed and they had grown from little children to almost young adults while he’d been gone.
He hesitated afraid he would startle the busy woman. It was Orrin who spotted him first and shouted, dropping his hoe and running full tilt toward him. “Ma, Ma, look, it’s cousin Asa! Hey,” he shouted again and skidded to a stop in front of him grinning from ear to ear.
Asa dropped the haversack to the ground and greeted the youngster with a bear hug. His mind went to the same place Thomas’s had and he silently offered a prayer that this young lad and his brothers would never be called upon to do and see the things he had managed to live through.
Aunt Mary watched with tears streaming down her cheeks and they all hugged and laughed and cried until she said firmly. “Into the house all of you, I’ve had a raisin pie stashed away since Thomas was here and this is the time to eat it!”
The boys whooped and hollered and she and Asa embraced without words. Something cold, deep within him thawed and melted away. Justus, coming in from the field, heard the shouts and seeing the unfamiliar figure hugging his wife hurried to investigate the commotion. The celebration lasted into the dinner hour and Mary finally dished up the stew that had been simmering on the stove and pulled the biscuits from the oven while Asa watched mesmerized.
It wasn’t until later that evening after the sun had set that Asa unpacked his few things and looked with wonder at the freshly made bed into which he was about to crawl. The sweet smelling sheets, sun-dried on the clothes line felt like the finest silk while the soft goose down pillow cradled his head as if it were a fluffy white cloud. The summer sounds of tree frogs chirping or the barn owl’s “who-who-who” soothed the tense muscles of his back and neck and he sank into an untroubled sleep for the first time in almost four years.
Waking next morning to the cock’s crow instead of the bugle’s call caused Asa a few moments of disorientation as he struggled to remember where he was. The wondrous aromas of coffee and baking bread brought him to his feet. The water pitcher and wash basin sat on the commode by the window and he quickly splashed his face and rinsed his mouth before pulling on his new clothes. “I will have to see about getting more to wear,” he mumbled while making his way down the familiar stairs to the kitchen. Aunt Mary was already elbow deep the days washing.
Hesitating before making his way into the kitchen Asa watched the busy woman with her flushed cheeks before greeting her. She looked up and smiled at the newcomer to her household, wiped her wet hands on her apron and tucked a stray lock of hair back under the scarf she had tied around her head. “Good morning, nephew,” she grinned. “Give me another moment here and I’ll whip you up some breakfast.”
“Aunt Mary,” Asa laughed, “no one has whipped me up breakfast for as long as I can remember. I can manage just fine with what you have laid out here. Do join me for a cup of coffee if you can and I’ll help you hang out that pile of washing you have there.”
“Gracious, now I’m the one to say no one has helped me hang out the wash for as long as I can remember.” She abandoned the wash tub and went to the stove. Pouring two mugs of coffee she handed him one and sank down at the table with hers in her hand. “I can’t tell you how relieved we are to have you home safe and sound. You are sound, aren’t you? No nasty holes or broken bones anywhere?”
“No, ma’am,” he grinned flexing the muscle in his right arm. “Fit as a fiddle and rarin’ to go. What can I do to be of some help here this morning? I don’t want you and Justus to think I’ve come to be a burden on you. I’ll need a few days to get my bearings, you understand, but I don’t intend to be movin’ in on you. You’ve enough to do without
me being a bother.”
“Well, you would never be a bother, Lord knows there’s enough work for you right here if that’s what you want to do. Orrin does what he can but he’s still not big enough to be of much help in the fields or at the smithy.”
She rose and pulled something that smelled delicious from the oven. Asa was convinced he was either dreaming or had died and gone to heaven. “You keep feedin’ me like this and you’ll never get me to leave,” he said reaching for the plate of warm biscuits.
Mary pushed the butter dish toward him and poured more coffee before taking a seat. “Land sakes’ boy, don’t you go takin’ about leaving. You just got here. It does my heart good to see you eat. You’re so thin one would think you hadn’t had a full meal in quite some time.”
“Oh, they fed us well enough, I guess, but nothing as good as this. We were on the move more often than not these past months… pretty much beans and hardtack, but it was up to us to muster up anything more than that if we wanted and we did have to heat it up ourselves.” He grinned as he lathered on the butter and reached for the jam pot she’d set on the table.
“Aunt Mary,” he mumbled a few minutes later, his mouth still full, “how are things at the Kunkles? I know about Wesley and Jacob but last I knew no one had heard anything about George.”
“Oh dear,” Aunt Mary said softly. “I was afraid you would ask me that. All I can tell you is that Rebecca went all the way to Annapolis to see if she could help take care of George, but he was much too sick for anyone to help by the time he’d arrived at that hospital. They had to tell her that he’d already died just a few days earlier. I think she has come home but I haven’t really seen anyone to ask. The family is devastated, I know. To have lost three sons is a terrible thing. I do think she would appreciate you coming to call, however. Thomas went over while he was here but he never said anything about how they were holding up to me. Perhaps I am speaking out of turn but maybe you should know. I do believe he asked her to marry him and go away to Michigan with him. He had mentioned to me that he had decided that’s what he wanted to do. He said he didn’t feel like this was home anymore. Apparently she didn’t wish to go with him. I felt so bad for him but he seemed determined to go anyway. I’m so sorry he felt that way, but I do want you to know we are hoping you will stay. This is your home after all. We agreed to take it over for your grandmother because she wanted so much to go west.
He smiled ruefully remembering how often Granny would lament the loss of’ ‘her Asa.’ He had somehow always felt inadequate since the pain in her voice was so obvious to him. The father he hardly remembered was ‘her
Asa’ and he was just a copy of the original. Granny had been good to him, he would be the first to admit that, but her favorite, without any doubt, was the baby, Thomas. I don’t suppose she even realized that, he thought while swallowing another big gulp of coffee which made him cough.
Wiping his chin, he grinned at Mary and offered to carry out the load of wet wash she had already run through the wringer.
“I’d appreciate that, nephew. My back is not as good as it used to be. Too many big babies I guess.” She pointed the way to the clothes line, told him ‘thank you’ and to go on about whatever he needed to do that morning. Dinner was at noon when Justus came in from the fields. Afternoons he spent at the smithy if nothing else needed to be done around the farm. “He will certainly be thankful for any help you might offer him. This time of year is always the busiest it seems”
“I’ll be happy to help however I can, Aunt Mary, but don’t wait dinner for me. I would like to pay a call on the Kunkles and since I don’t know what to expect I want to feel able to stay however long they would want me too.” I can’t imagine how they must be feeling, he added under his breath. Perhaps they won’t even want to see me at all.
Cutting through the corn field, he was pleased to see the stalks almost shoulder high and the ears beginning to form. Justus will have a good crop this season if what I’m seeing is any indication. Granny did well to have him take over. I suppose I’d be wise to just help out for awhile before deciding what sort of profession I might like. A lot will depend on Miss Kunkle however. I sure do hope she has not been turned against me with all the sorrow they are having to bear.
The weather-beaten mourning wreath still hung on the door as Asa climbed the front steps to the porch. He’d been tempted to go to the back entrance but thought they might not want him to be so familiar since he’d been gone for so long. This whole thing felt strange and he found himself sweating and wishing he had a chaw or maybe a smoke. He lifted his hand to knock and was surprised to see the door opening by a gloved black hand.
Sarah looked up at him with a glimmer of hope in her eyes and then lowered them quickly. “Mrs. Kunkle, ma’am,” Asa said gently, “It’s me, Asa Hickok from across the way. I’ve come to pay my respects, if you will allow me?” Over her shoulder he noticed Rebecca had come into the hallway. She smiled at him and took her mother by the arm to move her from the entryway. “Come in Mr. Hickok, please. How thoughtful of you to call. You do understand, I’m sure, how difficult it is for mother these days. She has not yet accepted the truth.”
Rebecca turned as her older sister Edna arrived behind her. “Good day, Mr. Hickok,” Edna murmured, “It’s good to see you. Please come in while I help Mother back to her room. We try to get her to rest a bit during the afternoon since she does not sleep very well these days.”
Taking her mother’s hand she led her up the stairs while Rebecca motioned Asa to follow her into the kitchen. “We will be much more comfortable here, I think. The parlor is much too stuffy. Mother has not allowed us to open the windows or let any light in. As you can see she is determined to observe the deepest mourning. If you ask me it is not a healthy practice.” She beckoned to Asa that he should take a seat at the kitchen table and went to pour some coffee. “Pa stays out in the fields as much as he can and the others come and go. I heard that you arrived yesterday and am sorry that you should find us in such unhappy straits.” She took a seat opposite him and studied his face long enough to make him uncomfortable. She suddenly set aside her cup and stood. “I think both of us will be more at ease if we walk outside. I have things I want to say to you and hear from you that can’t be said in this house of sadness. Would you mind?” She retrieved a hat from the peg on the wall and held out her hand.
Asa stood wanting more than anything to take her in his arms. “Walking out is just the thing,” he murmured. “You can not begin to realize how wonderful it feels to be able to just walk out without wondering what might be lying up ahead.”
She paused after realizing what he had just said. Her eyes darkened and the two went along the path in silence for quite a ways until reaching a small group of willows by the stream where they sat on the warm rocks and finally looked at each other. Rebecca spoke first. “I don’t know if you knew I went to Annapolis to that Camp Parole. It was shortly after Thomas came home. He asked me to marry him and come away to Michigan but I couldn’t leave here. Did he tell you?”
“No, I haven’t heard from Thomas at all. We were nowhere near each other during the fighting. I had heard of the battle of the railroad near Petersburg but hadn’t realized George was there. It was bad there for a lot of the men. Did you get to see him?”
“No, by the time I arrived he had succumbed to chronic diarrhea or so they called it…meaning filthy, unsanitary conditions, malnutrition and plain and simple inhuman hatefulness.” She looked up at him and saw the pain on his face. “Did you see for yourself what those prisons were like? Oh, my dear, I have asked God every day that you be spared such horror.
I did stay on at the hospital for a short while trying to be of help but some of those in charge deemed me unsuitable. Said I was too attractive. Can you imagine?”
Asa managed to laugh at her indignation through the tears he was trying to swallow. “First time I ever heard it was unsuitable
to be too attractive. How fortunate can you get? It makes me proud to know you tried to help, but I’m so relieved to have you here and safe now. Miss Becky? Rebecca? I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I am.” He reached for her hand and drew her to her feet. He stiffened as he felt her supple body press against his, afraid he’d overstepped his bounds, but she did not resist and he cupped her head in his right hand while pulling her closer. Their lips met and as she accepted his kiss he felt born anew.
Off in the distance the farm house bell sounded that dinner as ready but neither of them was thinking of food. “Becky, dear,” he spoke softly as they walked hand in hand along the stream, “thoughts of you kept me sane these past years. Only my hope and determination to come home to you and have you marry me carried over the bad times and some of the good times too…” He suddenly laughed. “It was bad but it wasn’t all bad, if you know what I mean. My friends were the best. We looked out for each other and were there for each other. We had some laughs and some memories we’ll never forget. If you had to ask me what we were fighting for it would be hard to say but mostly I think we were fighting to keep our country from coming apart and losing all the good things about it. Most of us just wanted the chance to get home, get married and raise a family in a safe and peaceful place. This is a beautiful country and all the places I’ve seen are pretty much just like here where one can breathe clean air and sit under the stars and wonder at the heavens. Those guys we called rebels pretty much wanted the same things. We just had different ideas of how to go about getting them.
Rebecca sat with his arms around her and the tears running down her face. “I know,” he said, “your family has lost too much and I don’t know any way to make it up to you, but please say you will marry me and I will do everything I can to try. Of course.” He hastened to add, “I don’t think we could get married just yet. You have your mourning to complete but more important I have to get a job and a home for us to live in. It will take some time, I guess.”
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