PANDORA

by Rebecca Hamilton

  “The right thing,” Rigel said before I could reply. He waved his hand and Aka crumpled flat against the floor.

  I rushed over to him, afraid he was dead, but he was still breathing. As sick as he made me feel inside, I didn’t wish him to die. My anger ebbed to a numb state of uncertainty. I brushed his dark hair back from his face, then rose to my feet. I needed an explanation.

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Hell,” Rigel said. “That is precisely what is going on. Or one of them, anyway.”

  Before I could ask what that latest cryptic remark was about, Rigel wrapped his arms around me, but I felt nothing. His body again turned to smoke, and Aka’s bedroom vanished. For a couple seconds, there was a great nothing; no sound, no light, no senses at all, as if my body ceased to exist.

  The next moment I stood alone in a dark room. My first breath pulled a foul odor into my mouth and I almost choked. There was a tiny window high in one wall, and the haze of a streetlamp formed a small box of light on the floor. Something hummed softly in the darkness beyond the meager vapor where illuminated dust particles danced.

  Smoke roiled in the light until it became Rigel, once more in his human shape. He was so magnificent in the soft light, I couldn’t stop looking at him.

  “Where are we?” I said.

  “Someplace you need to be.”

  The stench of the place almost overpowered me. I gagged a little and covered my mouth and nose. “What the fuck is that smell?”

  “Your mother,” he said. “Or what is left of her, at any rate.”

  ***

  I looked around, confused. The room looked more like a cellar, and it was so dark I could not see three of the walls. Then Rigel’s words sank in and the truth hit me like an anvil, almost stealing the air from my lungs. It couldn’t be. I let out the breath I held, though so slowly I shuddered at the strain my chest suffered from trying to hold it in.

  “Where is she?” I said.

  Rigel held up his hand and warm light bathed the room. In the farthest corner of the room sat my mother’s corpse. Hundreds of flies took turns scavenging her. She was covered in blood and bloated. Once-blonde hair looked wet and was matted like anorexic worms that refused to eat her bruised flesh. Her open eyes stared into Hell. There was no way she’d gone anywhere else.

  She waited for me there and would punish me for all eternity for this. This was my fault. Something I’d done or said brought her to this. I’d complained too much to the wrong person, trusted them with my secrets. This wouldn’t have happened if I’d just kept my mouth shut, therefore I was just as guilty. My purgatory was to be whatever days or years I had left in this world. There would be no pearly gates for me. St. Peter would roll his eyes and give me the silent treatment if I dared show my face within a hundred feet of Heaven.

  The only way to avoid it was to live forever. There had to be a way, and I decided Rigel had to know what it was. He was magic, damn it. What got to live forever?

  “Are there really vampires?” I said. My eyes did not leave my mother’s corpse. Her fingernails were still perfectly manicured. That was kind of odd.

  “What?” Rigel’s voice echoed behind me in the small chamber. “That is your reaction? I have handed you peace and freedom and your response is to ask about vampires?”

  I hated it when people couldn’t follow my train of thought. If I had spoken to myself aloud, it might have helped. Maybe that was what crazy people were really doing; giving others an easy view of their cerebral locomotive. They got tired of the eyebrow tango of confusion other people suffered from trying to keep up.

  “Never mind,” I said without glancing back over my shoulder. My eyes had trouble diverting themselves from my mother, though there were several small dark piles of something in her vicinity that piqued my curiosity. “What are those?”

  “Eggplants, of course,” Rigel said. “I thought it was fitting.”

  They were smashed and barely recognizable, scattered around Mom’s corpse. Flies feasted in small swarms upon each rotting mound.

  “So it was you?” I said. I had been in so much shock, I failed to comprehend why we were there. I was under the assumption Rigel simply knew where Mom was. But then the truth hit me like a brick to the face. I turned to look at him. “You said . . . Aka.”

  “I lied.” He looked quite pleased with himself about it, too.

  “And Ryan?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  “Which part?”

  “All of it.”

  I shook my head. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen for the little bastard’s game. Aka warned me, but Rigel managed to sucker me into believing him over my best friend. It just proved all people were capable of great treachery no matter their size.

  “How?” I stepped away from him, but had nowhere to go. “How did you get Aka to think it was his fault?”

  “He wanted you to form a romantic attachment to him,” Rigel said. “So I suggested he rescue you since young ladies like that manner of heroic behavior. I refrained from telling him what I planned to do, however.” He crossed his arms lazily and gave me a wry smile. “He was seriously displeased with me after that.”

  I wanted to claw out Rigel’s eyes to stop him from smirking at me.

  “But how did you get Ryan to do that?”

  “I put his mind on vacation while I did the steering,” Rigel said. “I had to kill him afterwards, of course. I could not have him yammer on about suffering a possession. It would raise eyebrows in certain circles, you see.”

  “So that was you?” My stomach lurched at the memory of hot breath on my neck and carnal hands against my flesh. I closed my eyes and took another step away. “You did that to me? You . . . touched me like that?”

  “I had to hurt you to save you. Besides, I could not help myself,” Rigel said with a wicked grin. “It had been too long since I held a woman.”

  “Well, no wonder, you freak!” God, I was so angry, but also afraid. I didn’t know what he was. Aka said a demon, but I didn’t know why he thought that. He could have been wrong. I only knew Rigel was more than he seemed. He was dangerous and arrogant, two things I did not admire in anyone, and they were a lethal combination. Clearly, since two people were dead.

  The smell was too much. I walked across the room as far as I could to get away from my mother’s body. It didn’t help. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be Dorothy and wake up to find this had all been some whacked-out nightmare. Why didn’t I cry? Aka was right—I didn’t even know how to anymore. I hated myself a little for that. It made me less human somehow.

  “But why me?” I said. “Of all the people in the world, why me?”

  “You can blame that on Ryan and Josh, if you like,” Rigel said with a shrug. “They summoned me. They did not realize it. Well, Ryan did in the end because I told him. I do not know how they did it or why, but I do know who. They did a very poor job of it, though. As you see, I am not whole. I am not half as powerful as I should be. I had to bind myself to that ridiculous creature, the first one I came upon, to remain here.”

  “That doesn’t explain the “me” part,” I said. If anything, it suggested he should have been harassing them every day instead of me.

  “Well, I lingered around them and listened,” Rigel said. “And Ryan disliked you very much. You piqued my interest, and Aka was your friend. I thought I would have a merry game with the both of you. It is my nature. I will not apologize. I am sure you understand. A creature can only do what is in their nature to do. But I grew fond of you. I did not expect that. I wanted to keep you, so I found a way.”

  “Keep me?” I didn’t like the sound of that. “What for? I’m not a pet. No one gets to ‘keep’ me.”

  Rigel smiled again. I hated his smile. It was not half so beautiful as it had been before. Though his appearance was striking, it was deceptive in its radiance and innocence. I suspected his true form was very different than he appeared.

  “Can yo
u not see how powerful you are?” he said. “Your mother, those ingrates in your school, your father . . . you take it all in and remain confident and strong.”

  “That’s called self-preservation, not strength,” I said.

  “No, you are my match,” Rigel said. “You are dark in countenance and soul. We are kindred, do you not see it? I love you.”

  It was too preposterous to be amused. If anyone else had said that, I would have laughed in their face. “The hell you do.”

  “I have proven my love for you, Kathleen.”

  “What?” I said. “How have you proven anything to me, other than being a total psycho?”

  “I need you,” Rigel said. “I took away those things that caused you the most pain. Need and sacrifice, yes. Those are the same as love.” His wide, silver eyes searched mine, and his mouth softened into a pout as if wounded. I did not believe it in the slightest. “I have freed you.”

  “Freed me?” By my count, he had trapped me in a cellar with Mom’s dead body. I didn’t feel the slightest bit free. “I’m probably going to prison. Who else can they blame for all this? What’s my defense? My alibi? Oh, yeah. I was kickin’ it with my magic skunk. Airtight, that.”

  “You are being childish,” he said. “I can make all of it go away. I can give you anything you want. I can be any person you want. All you have to do is say yes.”

  “Well, that won’t happen,” I said. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

  “What if I was Aka?” he said. Before I could reply, his form altered to be my best friend. Aka’s dark hair obscured one of his eyes. Rigel tucked it behind his ear with slender fingers in a way Aka never would. “Would you want me then?”

  “You’re not Aka,” I said. “Looking like him does not make you him. Besides, you’re nothing but smoke, loser.”

  “You misunderstand,” he said. “I can return right now and become Aka, as I became that skunk. All I need to do is push his body close enough to death.”

  There was a clench in my chest, a sudden constricting of my heart at the thought of losing Aka. It terrified me and infuriated me at the same time.

  “Don’t you dare,” I said. I stepped towards him and wanted to hit him, but I could do nothing. “I’ll kill you if you do.”

  “No, you would kill Aka,” he said. “I will remain. But I cannot linger in this world unless I am whole. My time is running out. If you do not agree to bind yourself to me in whatever form you choose, I will kill him. I do not want to go back to the hell I came from, and you do not want to lose your friend.”

  “The one you came from?” I said. “There’s more than one?”

  “I do not have time to instruct you on the realities of your world and all others,” Rigel said. “But I will say humans have yet to find the truth. I am not a demon. I am something more.”

  He was right about one thing—I didn’t care about the divine or the afterlife or my immortal soul in that moment. I’d always had a hard time believing what most believed, so I didn’t feel compelled to defend anyone’s faith. I only wanted Rigel to go away and for my friend to be safe.

  “But if you become Aka, he will die anyway,” I said. “You have a serious flaw in your bargain, Rigel. If that’s even your name.”

  “My name is unimportant,” he said with a dismissive wave. He looked bored, and it only pissed me off more. “And if Aka is not the form you wish me to have, choose another and he will live.”

  “Why do I have to agree to anything?” I shook my head. It was so unfair. I refused to choose the next person he would kill. “What do you care what I think? You’ll just do whatever the hell you want, just like you always have.”

  “Trust me, I have not been able to do what I wish,” Rigel said darkly. I really hated that he looked like Aka. “I am bound by laws. All creatures are. Sacrifices are to be made, and I made two. A virgin is needed, which is you. And you have to choose me.”

  “Oh, my God. That is so clichÉ,” I said. “Virgins and sacrifices? What’s the deal with that? Why does everyone who turns to the Dark Side think they need to start killing people and punish a girl for never spreading her legs?”

  “Blood, Kathleen. Great magic requires blood,” Rigel said. “Whomever you choose, they will be the third sacrifice.”

  23: A Choice of Evils

  To draw breath became difficult, and I could already feel the pressure against my chest, the heavy weight of the years to come. I couldn’t live with the guilt of losing Aka, but I also couldn’t live with the guilt of being responsible for someone else’s death. Although I did not do it, I knew I was to blame for Mom and Ryan. I didn’t ask for it or want it, but Rigel had killed them in my name. I could barely wrap my mind around the thought of it.

  And in the epicenter of my fractured heart was the fear I’d already lost Aka. I’d believed Rigel over him, and I was sure he’d never forgive me.

  “Can we go back to Aka’s now?” I said at last. “I want to see him before I make up my mind and make sure he’s okay. And change back. I hate looking at you when you look like him.”

  “As you wish,” Rigel said.

  His smoke roiled and shimmered, then he looked like the beautiful young man again. He held out his arms and I stepped into them. We disappeared into the hollowness without echoes, then we were back in Aka’s room. He was still unconscious on the floor.

  I ran to him and patted lightly at his face to try to wake him up. He stirred, and opened bleary eyes at me. I saw accusation in his gaze and guilt stung me anew. When he smiled, I couldn’t help but smile back with relief that I was wrong.

  “Death never tasted so good,” he said. “Except that time with honey.”

  A nervous chuckle escaped me. “You’re either high or concussed.”

  “Your word-sword impales my entropy,” Aka said. His eyes were too unfocused for my liking, but at least he was alive. His hand lifted towards my face, but paused and dropped to the floor. “You know what I miss? Sporks.”

  “This is a person you would wish to save?” Rigel said behind me.

  “He’s usually more coherent,” I said. I didn’t lift my eyes to look at him since I’d much rather look at Aka. Everything from his unsteady voice to the less than fluid motion of his normally graceful body sent winter through my veins. The room could have been crawling with vipers. It could have housed a pack of werewolves. There could have been a myriad of other dangerous things lurking in the shadows or blatantly howling and thrashing at us in his ruined room, but nothing could have scared me more than the hollow look in Aka’s eyes.

  “I fell to the clouds with dirt in my eyes,” Aka said. He lifted himself up onto his elbows. “I passed through their liquid silver linings. Love so absolute, yet empty was my accomplice.”

  “Aka, I think you should stop trying to think,” I said. “You really suck at it at the moment. Do you feel okay otherwise? Headache, broken bones, anything?”

  He looked past me to fix his gaze on Rigel. “You’re as poisoned in mind as your acid stained words. Your lies were but footsteps on my crown.”

  I shook my head and tried to push him to lie back down. “What are you trying to do, poetry him to death?” Normally, I would have loved to hear him speak more since he had a bad habit of using sentence fragments. But a delirious Aka was both frightening and kind of pathetic. I wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t find the words for how badly everything had gone wrong.

  “I’m addicted to your wry smile and gentle fingers that tug my hair,” Aka said with a strange smile, then his brows knit together, suddenly somber. “I am afraid I am all I have to offer you.”

  “Which is more than enough,” I said. “Now lay down.”

  He let his body fall flat on the floor again. It was a relief to have him settled again. When he closed his eyes, I turned on Rigel.

  “What did you do to him?” I stood and softened my voice. “He’s talking like a lunatic.”

  “It is not serious. It will pass,” Rigel said
. “He will rouse when I wish him to. We have more important matters to discuss, do you not agree?”

  “There’s nothing more important than Aka.” I was surprised by how quickly that came out of my mouth. A wide grin appeared on Rigel’s face, which only incensed me more.

  “You know you can never have him, yes?” Rigel said.

  “What do you mean?” I hadn’t given much thought to it in quite those words. Aka was my best friend, and we were never anything more. Earlier it had been enough for me to learn he liked me as well. Now it scared me to be so close to having what I wanted so badly and have Rigel threaten to take it away.

  “If you choose him as my vessel, he will cease to be,” Rigel said. “But if you choose someone else, you will belong to me and never see him again.”

  “But he will live,” I said. “That’s enough for me.”

  “Very well,” Rigel said. “So who shall die?”

  “I don’t know!” I threw one of Aka’s shoes at Rigel, perhaps out of habit. For someone so averse to violence, I was too fond of the occasional shoe-chuck. It passed through him to thud against Alex’s bowler hat near the door. “You’re asking a hell of a lot from me, you know? I don’t want anyone to die. I just want you to go away. I could never love you, don’t you get it? No matter what you give me or what you look like, you’re just an evil bastard that sickens me.”

  “I do not believe that,” Rigel said. “You found my form quite pleasing not ten minutes ago. I doubt that has changed.”

  “Seriously?” I said. “How crazy are you? You’ve murdered my mother and Ryan. That changes absolutely any ideas I had about you. I trusted you, confided in you, and let you into my home. You’re just a sick fuck wearing an angel’s face.”

  It gave me a great deal of pleasure to see his face twist into something resembling anger. “An angel?” he spat. “Loathsome, self-righteous creatures. A pox upon them all. Again you speak of things you do not understand. You would not say such things if you did. Harps and wings and joyful songs; rubbish, the lot of it. How small the world is which you humans create. I could show you things you have never imagined, things which would make you question everything you have ever been told.”