by Penelope Sky
“My suggestion still stands…”
Conway and Nicole both looked at me.
“What suggestion?” Nicole asked, her gaze turning to Conway.
I let Conway answer, that way he could decide what he wanted her to know.
Conway went with the truth. “Sapphire thinks she should headline the show. It’ll get people to focus on us instead of Lacey and Andrew.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Nicole said. “Actually, it’s a great idea. I think we should do it, Conway.”
Conway looked at the stage where the models were working with the choreographer. He released a deep sigh.
I knew what that sound meant.
He dropped his arms to his sides. “We’ll do it this one time. But that’s it. After that, she’s permanently removed from the lineup. We’ll have to spend the next few months finding the next woman to be the face of Barsetti Lingerie—because it won’t be Sapphire.”
Conway drove back to the house in the red Ferrari he had temporarily loaned me. One hand was on the wheel while the other rested on my thigh. When we drove through the countryside, he didn’t need to shift the gears because we were driving straight for a long time.
“Thanks for putting me in the show. I won’t let you down.”
He released a sigh that was barely audible. “I hate the idea of people looking at you, but I’ll admit, it’s the best option right now. It’ll make everyone forget about Lacey and Andrew. Plus, the designs are beautiful.”
“I agree. I don’t want anyone to talk about them. I only want people to focus on you.”
He didn’t smile, but affection entered his eyes. “I appreciate that.”
“You’re the best for a reason—and I want it to stay that way.”
“With a model like you, it’ll stay that way.” He patted my thigh.
I looked out the window, seeing the sun disappear over the horizon. It was getting darker much earlier now. And it was colder too. I had to wear jeans and a jacket before we left the house.
“The show is on the twentieth, so we have some work to do. It’ll be a busy week.”
My eyes snapped open when I heard the date.
It was already the twentieth?
That meant I was thirteen days late.
Thirteen.
Shit.
My heart slammed in my chest, and sweat formed at my temples. Anxiety kicked in as the fear crushed my lungs. When my period was late at first, I just brushed it off. But two weeks was way too long.
That could only mean one thing.
The hormone shot was ninety-nine percent effective.
So how did this happen?
I’d only been living with Conway for three weeks. He managed to get me pregnant that fast, even on birth control? We were making love several times a day, but that wasn’t unusual for us.
Fuck.
We sat across from each other at dinner, eating salmon steaks with broccoli and carrots. I was back to my model diet, only eating high protein with no carbs. Dante uncorked a bottle of wine, but I didn’t have a glass—blaming it on the calories and sugar.
I had to get a pregnancy test. That was the only way to confirm the truth.
But how would I get one?
Conway didn’t like it when I went anywhere alone, and now that I was with him all the time, there was no way for me to sneak off.
I only had one option.
Conway watched me from across the table. “Everything alright, Muse?”
“Yeah…just tired.” I pushed the carrots around then took a bite of the broccoli. I had been hungry all afternoon, but the second I suspected I was pregnant, I completely lost my appetite.
What if I was pregnant? What would Conway think?
Would he be angry? He said marriage and kids were on the table, but he wasn’t ready to make that kind of commitment. If I were pregnant, it would completely change the relationship. He might not even want me in the show anymore.
So I had to find my answer. And if it was what I feared, I had to come clean about it.
Conway took a bite of his fish, still watching me. “You seem distracted.”
“I’m just thinking about those heels I’ll have to wear. It’s been a while since I hit the runway like that. When I did photos with Andrew, I was almost always barefoot.”
Conway drank his wine, his veined forearms looking muscular in his t-shirt. “You’ll be fine, Muse. You’re the best model I’ve ever seen—you’re a natural.”
I forced a smile, still feeling the acid that built up in my stomach. “Thanks…”
We finished dinner, and before Conway downed the rest of his wine, his phone rang. He glanced at the screen. “It’s Carter. I’ve got to take this.” He stepped out of the room and pressed his phone to his ear. “What’s up?”
The second he was gone, my smile turned into a frown and I slouched at the table. My anxiety rocked my chest at full force. I only had a few minutes before he returned, and then I would have to pretend everything was normal.
When nothing was normal.
I needed a pregnancy test, so I’d have to come clean about it if I wanted to get one. But I didn’t want to bother Conway with this unless I absolutely had to. If the test was positive, I would have to decide what to do then.
But if it was negative, there was no point in turning his world upside down.
Dante walked inside, his black apron still secured around his waist. “Are you two finished?”
“Yes…” My chin was propped on my knuckles, and I was hardly aware that he was there.
“Everything alright, Sapphire?” Dante had never inquired about my personal well-being before, but ever since I’d returned to the villa, he treated me with the same respect and care as Conway.
“Uh…” I wasn’t going to dump my problems on the chef, but then an idea came to mind. “There’s something I need you to do for me…and you can’t tell Conway.”
He stiffened at the comment, clearly uncomfortable by the suggestion. “You know I’m loyal to Mr. Barsetti. I don’t get paid to keep secrets from him.”
“It’s not really a secret. I just need something, and I can’t ask him to get it for me.”
Dante stacked the dishes in his hands. “What is it?”
“A pregnancy test…”
He took a deep breath, his expression narrowing. “I see…”
“If I’m not pregnant, I don’t want to worry him. But if I am…” I never finished the sentence because I wasn’t sure what I was going to say anyway. The stress was making my chest crack right down the middle. Everything ached. The only reason I didn’t want to be pregnant was because I didn’t want Conway to be disappointed. I wanted him to want our baby…not be upset about it.
“I understand, Sapphire. I’ll get it for you.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll get it after I do the dishes and collect your laundry. I’ll leave it in the cabinet where the coffee mugs are in the kitchen. You can grab it when you’re ready.” He stacked the rest of the plates in his arms and walked out.
This was really happening. I was really going to take a pregnancy test.
And I felt terrible for wanting it to be positive. I didn’t want to trap Conway into a commitment he didn’t want. I didn’t want him to be stuck supporting me forever. But if I were going to start a family, I would want it to be with him.
I wanted to start a family with him.
Conway always seemed to want to be on top. Every night before bed, he moved between my legs and kissed me at the same time, making love to me instead of aggressively fucking me the way he used to.
I never asked for it, but I would gladly take it.
But tonight, I wasn’t feeling it. I kept thinking about that pregnancy test waiting for me downstairs. When he went to sleep, I would slip away and finally get the answer that had been gnawing at my side constantly.
I needed to know.
Conway must have noticed I wasn’t as wet as I usually was, and my
kiss wasn’t as deep as it used to be. He shoved himself completely inside me, broke our kiss, and then stared at me. Everything came to a halt, and I could feel the tension before he even said anything. “What is it, Muse?”
“Nothing.” My hands glided up his back.
Concern faded away, and annoyance entered his gaze. “When I’m buried to the hilt inside you, I can feel everything you feel. So tell me.”
When I was the recipient of that gaze, I almost fessed up. I wanted to share the burden with him so I didn’t have to carry the stress on my own. But I still couldn’t tell him the truth, not when I didn’t have the answer first. “I guess I’m just a little sore. We’ve been making love a lot lately.”
He studied my gaze for another moment, as if he was trying to figure out if I was lying. But then the softness returned to his gaze. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No…” My mind wasn’t in the moment, but it still felt good. “I want you inside me.” I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, distracting his mind by getting him to focus on our embrace.
His hips started to move again, and he thrust into me, my legs pinned back toward my waist. He moved deep and slow, breathing with me in the darkness of his bedroom. A minute after that, it was like the conversation had never happened at all.
I waited until he’d been asleep for an hour before I made my way downstairs and opened the cabinet where Dante hid the pregnancy test. I found the small box concealed behind the coffee mugs and then made my way back upstairs to the third floor.
In the middle of the night, the house was dead quiet. All the lights were off, and Dante was asleep in his private quarters on the bottom floor. The second floor wasn’t even used because the place was so big.
I returned to our bedroom and spotted Conway still sound asleep in bed. He was turned on his side, his arm still in front of him as if it were wrapped around my waist. I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me before I examined the box.
I’d never used a pregnancy test before, so I read the directions with shaky hands before I opened it. Fortunately, there were two sticks inside, so if I messed up, I had another shot. I sat on the toilet and did my business before I placed the stick on the counter.
Then I waited.
I was supposed to wait two minutes before my results appeared, so I sat on the lid in my panties and t-shirt and waited.
I waited a damn eternity.
Whenever life got tough, I always tried to put things in perspective. Nothing was ever as bad as it seemed. There was nothing I couldn’t overcome. A psychopath had chased me all the way to Italy, and I was kidnapped by the Skull Kings. At that point, I thought I was going to be raped and murdered.
So being pregnant, even if Conway was upset, didn’t seem that bad.
He might flip out the way he had when I told the world I loved him. He might get furious and push me away. But after he calmed down, he would come back to me. We would figure out what to do.
But I was jumping ahead because I still didn’t know the results.
Two minutes passed.
But I still didn’t look.
“Oh god…” I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on my legs. I was afraid to look at the results because I already knew what it was going to say.
I could feel it in my gut.
I finally grabbed the stick and read the word written on the window of the strip.
Pregnant.
13
Conway
Muse picked at her egg whites but didn’t take more than a few bites. Her French bread beside her was smeared with Dante’s homemade jelly, but she only took a single bite, probably trying to eliminate the carbs. Her eyes were downcast for the entire meal.
“I’m going to have you end with the black one-piece I created. I know it should be centered toward a holiday theme, but people don’t love Christmas lingerie that much. Nicole says you should wear a Santa hat, but I’m not going to do that. I think I’m going to have you wear red pumps, though. That subtle touch should be enough.”
She moved her omelet around, her shoulders hunched forward and her face as pale as milk. Her makeup was done for the day, but even the cosmetics couldn’t make her features stand out. They were washed out and unremarkable.
“Muse?”
“Hmm?” She jerked slightly and looked up, obviously having no idea what I just said.
She’d been out of it since yesterday. When we made love before bed, her mind wasn’t connected to me the way it usually was. While she didn’t seem angry with me, she was definitely distant.
Was she starting to regret taking me back?
Did she miss Nox?
Did this feel like a big mistake to her?
Or was I just being paranoid, letting my own insecurities get to me? “I said I was going to have you wear red heels, despite the fact that Nicole wants me to push for more of a Christmas theme.”
“Oh…that should be nice.” She looked down at her food again, but she still didn’t eat anything.
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”
Her head popped up, and her eyes widened as the guilty expression came into her face. “No…I just didn’t sleep well.”
I didn’t want to accuse her of lying, but something told me she wasn’t being completely truthful. “What is it? If you don’t want to do the show, you don’t have to.”
“No, that’s not it…”
“Then what is it?” I pressed.
She pursed her lips together tightly, her eyes avoiding mine. “It’s nothing…we should get going. We have a long day at work.” She set her napkin down and excused herself from the table.
“You barely touched your food.”
“Yeah…I just don’t have much of an appetite today.”
Muse did the choreography with the other girls, getting down the technique and formations of the show. She looked exemplary in the different designs that I made, probably because they were custom-made for her body.
The other model I originally had was boring in comparison.
As much as I didn’t want Muse to be visible to the public eye, she’d already been gawked at in photographs for the last three months. Young men already had her pinups on their walls. One more show wasn’t going to make much of a difference.
Nicole stood beside me, watching the choreographer work with the girls. They ran through the show with the music several times, but a lot of progress needed to be made. Fortunately, they had two weeks to get it down.
Nicole turned to me. “Everything alright with Sapphire?”
I guess I wasn’t the only one that noticed. “Why?”
“She can’t seem to concentrate today.”
“She’s been that way for a few days. Every time I ask her what’s wrong, she makes an excuse.”
“Well, you need to drag it out of her soon. We can’t have a model this distracted.”
The show was the least of my concerns right now. I was more terrified that Muse’s happiness had something to do with me. Maybe she wanted more from me, and I wasn’t giving it to her. I told her I loved her almost every single day, and I’d given in to her demands.
What more did she want from me?
The drive home was spent in silence.
Muse looked out the window while she fidgeted with her fingertips in her lap. Like she was purposely trying to avoid my eyes, she kept her gaze glued out the window. The awkwardness made it seem like we were strangers instead of lovers.
I was tired of the bullshit. “Muse, I’m not going to ask you again.” I kept my gaze on the road, my knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. “Even Nicole noticed you were distracted. I’ve been patient, but my patience has officially worn out. So tell me, or I’ll make you tell me.”
“Make me tell you?” she whispered.
“You bet your ass I will. Now tell me what it is, or I’ll drag it out of you.”
She pressed her forehead to the window and closed her eyes.
Jesus Christ. “Goddammit, Muse. Tell me. Are you okay? Please tell me you’re alright.” I’d never seen her act this way before. She always spoke her mind, even when I didn’t want to hear what she had to say.
“Yes, I’m okay,” she whispered. “I just need a little more time.”
“A little more time?” I asked incredulously. “You’ve shut me out for three days.”
“Conway—”
“Do you regret taking me back? Do you want to go back to New York?”
“Of course not.”
“Then what?” I took a breath of relief, but I was still pissed.
She turned quiet again.
We pulled into the roundabout at the house, and I handed the car over to the valet. We walked inside the house, and her continued silence only pissed me off more.
“Muse, why won’t you tell me? It’s me.”
She kept walking. “Just give me a little more—”
I grabbed her by the elbow and yanked her back toward me. “I love you. You love me. What the fuck is it that you can’t tell me? I treat you like a goddamn queen. I kiss the ground you walk on. But you’re refusing to share your life with me, and I think that’s a bunch of bullshit.”
She twisted out of my grasp then walked toward the stairs, shutting down the conversation with her silence.
No matter how hard I pushed, she resisted. She said she was okay and she wasn’t leaving me, so what was so difficult to talk about? How could she not trust me? How could she not confide in me? I watched her walk to the top floor and disappear down the hallway.
Maybe it was best she walked away. My anger was making my nostrils flare, and I couldn’t see straight. I’d never been very patient, but when it came to my woman keeping a secret from me, I was even less patient. I’d asked her about it three times, and she still refused to open up to me.
“Hello, sir.” Dante stepped into the hallway and took my coat.