From Doctor to Princess?

by Annie Claydon

  ‘It’s good of you to say that. I want to tell you.’

  ‘Okay.’ He was sitting close, but still not touching her. The temptation to ask for Hugo’s comfort was almost too much to bear, but Nell couldn’t do that. Not until he knew all the facts, and he believed her.

  ‘When I was a student, Martin was a visiting lecturer. He was brilliant, he has a very fine mind.’

  ‘Okay. I’ll take your word for that.’ Hugo didn’t look very convinced.

  ‘I went to speak to him after the lecture and he asked me for coffee. One thing led to another...’ She glanced at Hugo and he nodded. ‘I was dazzled. He was older than me, of course, and very handsome. He knew about loads of things that I didn’t. Introduced me to a lot of new experiences.’

  She expected Hugo to nod and understand. Instead, he rolled his eyes. ‘I’ve seen that type. No feeling of self-worth, so he has to pick on someone in a subordinate position to impress.’

  His words chipped away at the dream. The feeling that Martin had been all-knowing and that it was she who’d done the wrong thing. She had done the wrong thing, and maybe Hugo would think a little differently when she told him.

  ‘He was based in Newcastle, and he came down to London every couple of weeks. I saw him then and I used to count the days...’ Nell shook her head at her own stupidity. ‘It went on for six months and then he told me that he was married. He said it didn’t matter, that he and his wife had some kind of understanding, but I broke it off immediately.’

  Nell looked into Hugo’s face, wondering if he could understand. ‘I thought he loved me. And even though I loved him, I couldn’t do it.’

  ‘Sounds as if you were the one who was the adult in that relationship.’

  He thought so? Nell had always considered herself as the silly little girl, blinded by love. Slowly Martin was developing feet of clay.

  ‘I don’t know about that. But I stuck to it, even though he contacted me a few times afterwards. Finally he left me alone, and I reckoned that it was just a life lesson and I should chalk it up to experience. I graduated, and got a job at the hospital and things were going well. Then the head of department retired, and...’ Nell felt herself start to shake. That feeling, that she couldn’t escape and that her mistakes would always come back to bite her, had turned out to be about the only true thing in this whole business.

  ‘And when the new head of department showed up, it was him?’ Hugo was filling in the gaps now. ‘Any reasonable man would have spoken to you privately, admitted that he’d acted very badly and hoped that you might find the goodness of heart to draw a line under the whole business. I’m guessing he didn’t do that.’

  Nell shook her head, finding herself smiling grimly. ‘No, he didn’t. There were a couple of weeks of extreme awkwardness, and then I couldn’t bear it any longer. I spoke to him and apologised...’

  ‘You apologised?’

  ‘It seemed reasonable. I had been one very willing half of the affair.’

  Hugo let out a short, sharp breath. ‘Are you saying it was all your fault?’

  ‘No, I...’ In truth, after the last six months, Nell had been reduced to not knowing what was and wasn’t her fault.

  ‘We talked a bit and I thought we’d come to an understanding, but the following day he said he wanted to talk a bit more and could he meet me for coffee that evening.’

  Nell still didn’t understand how she could have been so stupid. But when she looked at Hugo, there was no sign of reproach in his face. Perhaps he was just waiting to hear everything before he made a final decision on that.

  ‘I went, and he started telling me about how his marriage had broken up because his wife had found out about our affair. I don’t know if that was true, but I was horrified. Then he said that the least I could do was give things another try. I said I didn’t think that was a good idea and he offered to take me home. He walked me to my door and then he told me he knew I wanted it really and pushed me inside. Somehow I fought him off...’ The words had tumbled out, and Nell was suddenly breathless with shame.

  ‘I hope you hurt him.’

  ‘I... Actually, I had a copy of Welman’s Clinical Procedures in my bag. I managed to get free of him and hit him with it.’

  Hugo grinned suddenly. ‘Good girl. The full edition, I hope.’

  ‘Stop it, it was the abbreviated edition. It still hurt him, though. He made some comment about my obviously not being in the mood tonight and left.’ She was shaking. Not so much as she had that night, but she still couldn’t stop.

  ‘Did you report him?’

  ‘No, I...’ Nell shrugged miserably. ‘I was the one who asked him in. And it wasn’t as if we’d just met, we had a history.’

  ‘No means no. Nothing trumps that.’

  It seemed so simple when he said it like that. Hugo’s sense of honour made it simple. She wished that he’d reach out to her, but knew that he wouldn’t. As far as Hugo was concerned, one touch now would make him as bad as Martin and she wished she could find a way to tell him that wasn’t true.

  She had to finish the story. Get this over with as quickly as possible. If she could do it without breaking down, that would be a bonus. Nell squeezed her hands together in her lap, feeling her nails dig deep.

  ‘He...tried it on a few times after that. I rejected him and started to make sure we were never alone together. Then one day he called me into his office, and went through a very comprehensive list of all the things I was doing wrong. All from a clinical point of view, there was nothing personal.’

  ‘Payback time?’

  ‘Yes. That went on for a few months, and I started to wonder whether there really was something wrong with the way I did my job. Then he blocked my promotion.’

  ‘On what grounds?’

  ‘He said I was an excellent doctor but that realising my full potential meant staying in my current post a little while longer.’ If Martin had criticised her performance, Nell could have fought it. But this had been impossible.

  Hugo thought for a moment. ‘He’s done this before.’

  ‘What? What makes you say that?’

  ‘He always put you in a position where you felt you were in the wrong, he was married, then his divorce was because of his relationship with you. And he was always in a position of power, your teacher, and then your boss. I’m not saying he engineered all that, but he exploited it. He’s an abuser, and he probably didn’t just do it to you.’

  ‘But...’ Nell had thought she was alone. The idea that Martin might have done this to other women was horrific, but it did make her feel as if it wasn’t so much her fault. ‘Maybe you’re right.’

  Hugo got to his feet, starting to pace. ‘We’re going to stop him, Nell. My mother will refute the allegations and we’ll release the details of my operation. That’ll keep the papers busy for a while, and in the meantime we’ll find a way to shut him up permanently.’

  ‘No, Hugo. I know that’s not what you want, and this is my battle. You shouldn’t be dragged into it...’ The heat in her heart, at the idea that Hugo was prepared to defend her, was burning too hot and threatened to consume her. He couldn’t be allowed to do this.

  ‘It’s what works.’ Hugo had obviously made his mind up about this.

  ‘No, it won’t work. Martin will just find another way to make these allegations...’ If Hugo was so determined to make this sacrifice, Nell needed to find a different approach.

  ‘If he does, then we’re in a good place to refute them.’ A grim smile quirked his lips. ‘You underestimate the power of good contacts.’

  ‘It’s not about having power, Hugo, it’s about what’s right and wrong.’

  He shook his head slowly. ‘It’s about picking a side, Nell. Allow me to pick mine.’

  She stared at him. Hugo was on her side. The thought that he would protect her washed every objecti
on she had to the idea away for a moment. He took full advantage of that moment, turning and walking out of the apartment.

  * * *

  It was done. Hugo had spent an hour with his mother and the palace press advisor, and a call had been made to the managing editor who had contacted them for comment. The promise of a press release within the next twenty-four hours had oiled the wheels, and Martin Jarman’s story was suddenly dead in the water.

  ‘I’m proud of you.’ His mother had stopped him as he’d gone to leave, murmuring the words.

  ‘It’s a matter of principle.’ Hugo had been telling himself that. He was doing this for everyone caught in this kind of situation, and not just for Nell. Not because he wanted to hold her close and keep her safe.

  ‘Yes, it is. Anyone in your position has a duty to defend someone who...’ His mother paused. ‘You are quite sure that Nell is innocent of these allegations, aren’t you?’

  ‘Of course I am. I’m perfectly capable of noticing when a woman is trying to seduce me. Nell’s a good doctor, and she acts appropriately.’ His thoughts might touch on the delights of the inappropriate from time to time, but that was his business.

  His mother nodded. ‘Your judgement is always sound, Hugo. And whatever you say, I’m still proud of you.’

  That was something. Hugo reflected that he wasn’t all that proud of himself at the moment. The idea of having his most humiliating secret blazoned across the front pages of the papers was something he was trying not to think about. While he was still obviously recovering, people might look at him with sympathy. But sooner or later, they’d come around to seeing him as a hypocrite. How could he advocate for a heart clinic when he—a doctor no less—hadn’t seen the signs of his own heart issues?

  That was just something he’d have to put up with. Maybe Nell was right. Maybe an admission that he’d made the mistakes that he was urging others not to make would emphasise his human side. But right now Hugo’s human side was cowering somewhere in a corner, and it felt far more comfortable to pretend that there was nothing wrong with him.

  He walked back to his apartment, pondering the question. Things had to change—there would be no more battles of will with Nell, no more creative solutions. Even though the alternative sounded dull in the extreme, their relationship from now on would be entirely professional. If he were blameless, that would give Nell the opportunity to prove herself blameless, too.

  * * *

  Nell had waited for Hugo in his apartment. She’d made a cup of coffee, leaving it untouched while it had gone cold, and then emptied and washed the cup. Then she’d retreated to her own apartment, leaving the connecting door wide open, and switched the television on, hoping it might drown out the clamour of her own thoughts.

  This was wrong. She’d been unable to say conclusively that she was entirely blameless in the business with Martin, but Hugo was different. No part of this was his fault, and yet in defending her he was the one who would feel humiliated.

  Nell thought for a long time. When he came back, she’d put a stop to all this.

  She heard the front door of his apartment close quietly, and hurried to the connecting door, stopping short at the threshold. When Hugo walked into the sitting room and saw her, he smiled.

  Nell imagined that this was the smile he reserved for the most formal of occasions, devoid of any emotion other than the one he wanted to project. ‘It’s done, Nell. I’m going to...get some rest now.’

  Normally she would have applauded the sentiment. Now, keeping Hugo awake until he’d told her exactly what had been done, and how it could be unravelled, seemed far more important.

  ‘What’s done?’

  ‘Our press officer has stopped the story. We’ve promised a press release on another matter during the next twenty-four hours.’

  Things had moved faster than Nell had thought they might. But it still wasn’t irrevocable. ‘We can undo it then. I can find another way.’

  He paused for a moment, just long enough for Nell to wonder whether he was reconsidering. But he was just choosing his words. ‘As I said, Nell, this is my battle too, and you don’t have to find another way.’

  This was too much. Standing, yards away from each other, trading appropriate conversation. They should be past this by now, but somehow Martin had inveigled his way in between them, and Hugo no longer felt comfortable with the relationship they’d started to build.

  It was obvious that Hugo wasn’t going to ask her into the apartment, but she couldn’t say what she wanted to say from the doorway. Nell took the initiative, walking over to the sofa and sitting down.

  ‘What did your mother mean by the Royal Agreement?’ Hugo had dismissed the idea quickly, but maybe this was an alternative.

  He shook his head. ‘It doesn’t apply here. When my parents were first married, they were keen to bring up their family without the constant press attention that my father had when he was young. They made an agreement with the press, and until I was eighteen, the only news stories published about me were official press releases from the palace.’

  Nell frowned. That didn’t seem to apply, but Queen Margaux had obviously thought it did. ‘There’s something you’re not telling me.’

  ‘My mother showed a great deal of foresight in negotiating certain extensions to that protection. My grandmother was allowed privacy during her final illness. And an engaged couple can expect the same privacy.’

  An engaged couple?

  What was the Queen thinking? Nell swallowed down her own objections to the plan, because it was something, anything, that would provide an alternative to what Hugo was planning to do now.

  ‘So your mother’s suggesting that...if we got engaged then there would be no difficulty in stopping this and other stories about us.’

  ‘Yes, that’s exactly what she’s suggesting. But I won’t put you through that...’

  ‘You make it sound as if you’re committing me to the palace dungeons. It’s not as bad as that, is it?’

  The flicker of a smile crossed his face. ‘No. Not quite.’

  ‘Well, can’t we consider it? I don’t have to actually marry you, do I?’

  ‘No, you don’t. We’d have to make a show of being together for a few months, but after that we’d break the engagement off quietly... But look, Nell, your career is at stake here. There’s no point in saving it, only to have it ruined by being engaged to me.’

  He had a point. Leaving her job and getting engaged to a prince might not look great on her CV, but it wouldn’t be as disastrous as having Martin’s story in the papers, and it wouldn’t hurt Hugo as much as his current plan would.

  ‘I don’t have to spend all my time just pretending to be engaged, do I? I could do some work with your charity, if that’s okay with you.’ He shook his head and Nell puffed out a breath. ‘This isn’t doing my ego any good, Hugo. Is it that bad to have to pretend you’re engaged to me?’

  He laughed suddenly, all his reserve dissolving in his smile. ‘I’d be very honoured to be engaged to you. Even if I was just pretending.’

  ‘Then stop this nonsense about having to release the private details about your surgery. It’s not necessary, we can find another way.’

  * * *

  Nell had started to boss him around again and his resolve to keep her at a distance had melted. But at least she didn’t seem so beaten and dejected as she had when she’d recounted how she’d been treated by her last boss.

  He’d begged her not to go through with this, and had told her that it was no sacrifice to allow his own medical details to be released to the papers instead, but she’d seen straight through him. So he’d called his mother, hoping that she might regret her mention of the Agreement, and talk some sense into Nell.

  Fat chance. His mother had made a comment to the effect that she wished he’d make up his mind, and had gone on to embrace the idea. She
appeared at the door of his apartment within minutes, and it seemed that she saw eye to eye with Nell over this compromise solution.

  The details were worked out over a glass of wine. Nell insisted on giving up her employment, which seemed only sensible to Hugo. He insisted on her being involved with his work for the clinic as much as possible, so she’d at least have something to show on her CV later on. Even if that hadn’t worked out so well with his real engagement to Anna, it seemed that it could at least be accomplished in the context of a fake engagement.

  ‘This will work well, Hugo. You’re obviously already good friends.’ His mother’s habit of not leaving before she’d made some private comment about the situation could be trying, even if it did usually elicit her real thoughts.

  ‘We’re...’ Hugo shrugged. ‘Good friends doesn’t happen in the space of four days.’ Even if it did feel as if he’d known Nell for much, much longer than that.

  ‘You want to protect her. She wants to protect you.’ His mother turned on her heel, leaving Hugo to think about the implications of her statement.

  He was too tired to think about anything very much. Nell cleared away the glasses, and thankfully skipped any examination of the healing incision on his chest. Perhaps she knew that the intimacy would be too much for him to bear tonight, when he was fighting to remain detached, now that they were alone.

  He slept deeply, not remembering his dreams. In the morning, a package sent from his mother set the seal on the agreement that had been made last night, which was itself the stuff of crazy dreams.

  He tore open the package and, looking inside, found a short handwritten note from his mother.

  Treat her with the greatest respect, Hugo.

  Right. He didn’t need to be told. He reached into the envelope again, finding a bundle of tissue paper wrappings and another note. He looked at both briefly, before putting them in his pocket.

  CHAPTER EIGHT