It's Not My Island

by Charlie Dillard

  I did just that. I took a brush out of the basket and carefully combed a months worth of nots out. After about 2 minutes my hair was hanging loosely down my back, tangle free. I then put on some of the flowery lotion and brushed my teeth. After sliding on the panties and cami set, I put my feet into the fluffy slippers and walked back into the suit, looking for the little fridge Carrick’s mom said was in there. After soon spotting it I trudge over to it and open it; finding juices, fruits, yogurt, as well as different cheeses. I grab an organic orange juice and plop down on the bed, taking a quick swig of the orange juice. All I want to do is sleep. As I kick off the slippers and lay down in the bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow the tears start to flow and all I could do was bury my face into the pillow and let it all out. As I heaved through my emotions a wave of nausea hit me and I popped up out of the bed and ran to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet as I vomited up anything that was laying in my stomach; which wasn’t much.

  Knock Knock Knock

  “Marissa Honey are you ok,” Carrick’s mom says through the suite door.

  “Yes, Mrs. Callahan, I’m ok,” I mumble through more projectile I thought I was finished with.

  At my response I can hear the door nob being jiggled around. I assume from her trying to open it. It was locked. Thank you for that. I truly don’t want her to see me like this; cause I know she is going to ask me what is wrong. I don’t feel like explaining to her that I am in love with her son, who is obviously happy with his current girlfriend; whom he forgot to tell me about.

  Then I hear some mumbling, then I hear a key being slipped into my suite lock, and the door being unlocked and opened.

  “Marissa, Darling, it’s me Mrs. Callahan. Where are you.” she said as she walks through the suite to the bathroom.

  Oh boy, I think as I clutch at the sink counter, and pull myself up off the floor; hoping that she doesn’t see me and know that I’m not feeling too well.

  “Marissa, why are you down there on the floor,” she says rushing over to help me up off of the floor.

  “I’m ok, I just wasn’t feeling to well, that’s all,” I say leaning on her shoulder.

  She helps me up and we walk into the bedroom, and she helps me to lay down on the bed.

  “Honey, tell me wants wrong,” she asks while covering me up with the blanket, then putting the back of her hand to my forehead.

  “I don’t know, I think I’m just plenty tired. Really I’m find,” I say swiping my left hand across my now bare forehead.

  When I did that she gasped and grabbed my hand, bringing it to her face.

  “Oh Honey I didn’t know,” she says while starting to cry herself, then drawing me into her arms.

  I have no idea what she is talking about.

  “Um Mrs. Callahan, I don’t know what you mean,” I say into her neck.

  She breaks our embrace and brings my hand up to my face and says, “This is what I’m talking about.”

  I still don’t get it, until I look down at my hand and see the ring that Carrick gave me when he asked me to marry him. I start crying as well as heaving. She knows and she must think I’m a total baby for going on like this. But she doesn’t say anything, she just holds me and lets me cry. There seems to be a lot of that going on since I met her a few hours ago. Oh what she must think of me.

  “I’m going to give that son of mine a piece of my mind when I leave out of here.”

  She can’t do that. He made his choice. If his Mom goes and says something to him he is going to think I’m asking her to say something; and I’m not. I can’t face him, not now.

  “Mrs. Callahan,” I say.

  She cuts me off by saying, “Please dear call my Sarah. I think you deserve to call me that.”

  She was looking down at me with so much compassion in her eyes. I felt a small bit better. I guess.

  “Ok,” I whisper.

  I slide the ring off of my finger and put it in the palm of her hand, closing her hand around it.

  “Please give this back to Carrick for me; and if you would please don’t tell him that I’m doing as bad as I am. I don’t want to him to feel sorry for me,” I say.

  She shakes her head and says, “He needs his butt kicked. I have the mind to tell him how wrong it is to do this to you.”

  “No please, I beg you to not say anything. I don’t want to make trouble for him and his lady.”

  She is still shaking her head no; but with a little more pleading from me she agrees to just give him the ring, and not say anything about me or how I’m doing.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Sarah.”

  “No problem sweetheart,” she says.

  “I think I’m going to sleep for a long time now,” I say laying my head back on the pillow and closing my eyes. I hope she isn’t put off by me doing this. I just can’t deal with anything right now.

  “Ok Dear. Do you want me to lock the door when I leave,” she asks as she gets up off of the bed and starts towards the suite door.

  “Yes Mrs. Sarah, that would be wonderful. Oh and please if you don’t mind would you not give the key to anyone else. I really don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to get back to whatever home I have in Boston, and try and make something of what life I have left,” I say without even lifting up my head or opening my eyes.

  “Ok,” she says and quietly shuts the door to the suite and locks it.

  Thank you, Mrs. Callahan for everything, I think as I feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep. I hope she doesn’t let Carrick into the room while I’m sleeping.

  I don’t know how much later it was, but it was right when I was at that perfect stage; that right before you are all the way sleep moment. When there was a knock on the door.

  Knock Knock

  “Rissa, open up please I need to talk to you.”

  I think it was Carrick but right now I don’t care enough to get up to answer it. I don’t think that I want to even look at him right now. I just want to sleep. So I let myself ignore the knocks and pleads for me to open the door, and fell into a deep long sleep.

  “Marissa, darling it’s me Sarah; it’s been almost 18 hours I think you should get up and at least eat something,” Carrick’s Mom says as she peeks in the room before walking in and locking it behind her.

  Ugh, I so don’t want to get up from this bed. I want to lay here the whole way to Boston. So I did just that, I laid there in the bed and let her walk into the room and place a tray on the side table, that was right next to the bed. I feel the bed move, and I hand go to my cheek.

  “Sweetheart, I think you should eat; you look pretty pale,” she says.

  I peek through my eyelids and give her a slightly sad smile.

  “I guess I should eat something, but I think I will eat it in a few minutes,” I tell her, knowing that I won’t eat anything. I might take a sip of water or something. I can’t think about eating with out tasting vomit at the back of my throat.

  She looks at me like she doesn’t truly believe what I’m telling her, but she let it go and nods then walks out of the room and shuts the door. I didn’t even get up, I just closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.

  Chapter 8 (Carrick)

  “Mom, how is she doing,” I ask my Mom as she walked out of Marissa’s suite.

  My Mom looks at me with the evilest look that I have ever seen from her. She looked like she was so upset with me.

  “You should know,” she said almost throwing something into my face and quickly strolling back to her room.

  I look down at the object she tossed at me and see that it was my grandmother’s ring. The one I proposed to Marissa with.

  Oh shit, what did I do. I blindly walk to the deck wondering how I was going to work this out, make everything right. I didn’t know Mom was going to invite Evelyn with her on the trip to pick me up. I haven’t seen her in a couple months. The last time I saw her we both agreed that we would just be friends. I mean I all but caught her having sex with someone from the family firm that
I work at with my father and sister. I never imagined she would even think we would have a chance at anything together. When she hugged and kissed me when Marissa and I first got on the yacht, I was simply too stunned to say anything. When Mom took Marissa back to the suite, I tried to get her attention but it was too late. She was balling her sweet green eyes out as Mom walked her back to her suite; and Evelyn was pulling me to the front of the yacht. She asked me who Marissa was, and I stupidly told her just a friend. Someone who was in a bad way when her boat sank, and she washed up on the beach. That I was helping her until we got back to Boston. I should have told her the truth then and there, because I saw a light go off in her eyes as we talked. I didn’t say anything then because I thought that Marissa would want to be there when we gave my Mom and everyone else the news. Boy was I wrong. I have screwed this up big time. I don’t know what went on when my Mom spoke to her, but whatever it was it was bad.

  “Mr. Callahan, is everything alright,” Mr. MacMurry says.

  “Oh yeah everything is ok, I guess,” I say trudging along to my room.

  “Carrick wait. I’ve been around the block a time or two and I think I know what this is about.”

  I turn and face him to see what he was going to say. When I didn’t respond he continued on.

  “I see many things and I know what went on with you and Ms. Marissa . I also know what that Evelyn did to you. Son, don’t you ruin things with Ms. Marissa for the likes of Evelyn,” he says.

  “I think I already have ruined things. It’s too late,” I say hanging my head in shame.

  He places his hand on my shoulder and says, “If you love her and she loves you it’s never too late.”

  I nod in agreement and he walks off to whatever he was intending on doing, before he stopped to give me some much needed advice.

  I should go to her; try and see if she will talk to me.

  I walk to few feet back to her suit door and knock; but she doesn’t answer. So I knock again, and this time just a bit harder.

  I hear a soft groan and feet shuffling to the door.

  “Mrs. Sarah, I thought you had a key,” I hear Marissa say on the other side as she unlocks the door and shuffles back to the bed and under the covers.

  I know I shouldn’t enter because she is expecting it to be my mother, but I can’t help it. I miss her. So I peek around the door.

  “Marissa, it’s me Carrick,” I say.

  I hear her gasp and she pulls the covers over her head, screaming although not as loud as she thinks she is.

  “Carrick please leave. You don’t have to explain a thing to me,” she says from under the covers.

  “But Rissa Honey, it’s just a big misunderstanding. If you’ll listen to me, you will surely know it wasn’t what it looked like.”

  She replied with a tsk saying, “So it didn’t look like you kissing that woman; or you dropping my hand to hold her as y’all kissed. Oh how about you leaving me to go talk with her.”

  “But,” I start to say, but was quickly cut off.

  “Please just leave. When we get back to Boston I will be out of your hair for good,” she says.

  I wanted to go to her and hold her, and tell her all that she meant to me. But I want to respect her wishes and give her the space that she needs. I hope I’m right by just leaving her to rest.

  As I walked out of Marissa’s suite, I am face to face with Evelyn.

  “Hey Carrick, how is that girl doing,” she asks flicking her hand towards Marissa’s room.

  I was surprised at how she was acting.

  “That girl’s name is Marissa, and she is doing fine,” I say grabbing her arm and leading her away from Marissa’s suite door. I don’t want Marissa to be upset by her.

  She let her lead her to the deck before she says anything else. She places her hands on my arms rubbing them up and down.

  “Carrick, why did we ever stop talking to each other?”

  She can’t be serious.

  I shake her hands off of me and look at her and say, “I think you know why.”

  “Oh Carrick that was nothing. I told you he meant nothing to me; its you that I have always loved, not him,” she says stepping closer to me.

  Before she could close the distance in full, I turned and walked back to my suite. “Evelyn, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say as I go in my suite, locking the door behind me.

  I probably should have said more, but I just had to get away from her before she tried to kiss me or something again.

  Knock Knock

  “Carrick, brunch is in a few minutes,” I hear Mr. MacMurry say when he knocked on my suit door.

  I didn’t respond and he didn’t say anything else as I lay there in bed. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

  I don’t know how much later but I was woke up by bumping around and shuffling in the hallway.

  I guess everyone is getting up for brunch. I sluggishly got out of bed and went into the bathroom; used it, washed my hands, and quickly brushed my teeth. Then making my way out to the deck where there was a long table and chairs set up, with all of the different food place on it. As well as different fruits and drinks. It smelled fantastic. Today might turn out ok.

  But my food elation was quickly doused when I see Evelyn sitting at a small table eating; sitting alone. She didn’t see me when I stepped out on the deck. I had half the mind to turn and go back in my room. When I tried to do that she stops me.

  “So you finally decided to get up,” she says smiling from her seat.

  Thankfully she didn’t come and try to hug me. Maybe things will be ok. Maybe she won’t try anything again. So I walk carefully over to the table and sit down, after I got a plate from the buffet.

  “So how are you on this day,” she says as she nibbled on the muffin that was on her plate.

  “I’m good, just still plenty tired. Its been a long past few days,” I answer settling into my seat.

  We talk for a few more minutes, everything is going good. We talk and eat all friendly, like nothing has went wrong between us. It’s nice to be able to be at least cordial with one another, even though our past was tainted with hurt.

  While we are talking all of the sudden Evelyn scoots her chair really close to me, then she puts her arm around my shoulder and leans into me.

  “Oh Carrick baby, I’m so happy that you feel that way,” she says then kisses me on my neck.

  “What are you doing,” I say moving away from her.

  Then I see out the corner of my eye Marissa being lead onto the deck, by my Mom; and she looked so tortured at seeing Evelyn draped on me how she just was. Her eyes caught mine for just a second, and she looked so sad. I could see tears start to stream down her face; and she quickly dropped her eyes and whispered something to my Mom.

  I could barely hear my Mom say, “Why don’t you try and eat something. I know you haven’t been feeling well.” Then my Mom look over at me and gives my a look of dissatisfaction.

  My ears perk up at that statement. I wonder what’s wrong with Marissa. I’d feel terrible if she was sick because of something I did, or something I didn’t whole heartedly try and prevent from causing her pain in any way.

  I keep watch as Marissa quietly agreed and Mom sat her down in a seat next to her; which was across from Evelyn and I. After helping Marissa sit down she got a plate from the buffet for her and Marissa. She sits Marissa’s plate in front of her, then sits down next to her and begins to quietly eat.

  This isn’t like Mom to sit quietly and do anything.

  “How are you this morning Marissa,” I ask?

  She didn’t even look up at me, but she mumbled, “I’m fine.”

  My Mom looks over at me and shakes her head.

  “Mom, what’s going on, you seemed to want to say something.”

  “We can talk about it later,” she says trying to brush it off. I don’t know if to spare Marissa, or to hold down some of her own anger.

  Evelyn watching all this and probably catching on to
the tension between Mom and me about Marissa, and says, “Oh Mom you can say anything at this table. I mean we are all family; that is all except Marissa over there.” Then she pops a grape into her mouth and sits back in her chair smiling.

  No one says anything at first, but soon after Marissa jumps up from the table and I can hear her crying her eyes out. All while running back to her suite.

  “Carrick, if you don’t handle this I will,” Mom says giving me and Evelyn a look of pure disgust.

  She them storms of the deck and to where Marissa was just running.

  I turn to Evelyn and see a look of satisfaction and faked innocence on her face.

  “Why would you do that. I thought we were having a good time talking as friends,” I say in disbelief at her obviously hurtful actions.

  She looked at me like she didn’t know what I was talking about.

  “Well, I don’t know what you mean. I was simply telling the truth about the situation,” she says with a wicked smile on her face.

  “No when you saw my Mom and Marissa coming out to eat, you put your arm around me and kissed me on my neck. Why,” I ask?

  “What’s the big deal,” she says putting her hands up?