Blue Saturn

by Jay, Libby

  I ask him what he’d like for dinner and he asks for fish and chips from the room service menu. I’m feeling a little fatigued myself so I’m more than happy to eat in tonight.

  We eat. Mikey has a bath while I shower. Fortunately, he can’t see me from the bath. I slip into my pyjamas and wrap a terry towelling robe around me. We hire a movie, but Mikey only lasts to about the half way mark. He falls asleep next to me on my bed. I don’t move him. I let him sleep there and I decide to sleep in his bed.

  He has slept the entire night. I’ve woken up because my body is telling me it’s rested enough. As I move my head to turn on the lamp, something pulls my hair. I look down and Mikey is sleeping next to me with a handful of my hair.

  I sigh. How on earth did he sneak into my bed without my knowing? I must’ve been more tired than I thought.

  Mikey opens his eyes slowly and then closes them again. When he opens them the second time, he smiles. “Good morning Indsy,” he says.

  “Good morning, Mikey.”

  I decide that we need a quiet day after our mammoth day out yesterday. Mikey and I build a Lego town and then destroy it by throwing blocks at the buildings. He draws for half an hour or so before he goes back to throwing blocks.

  Mikey has a small nap after lunch. I spend the time reading a novel, which I’m beginning to think I’m never going to finish. I’m not much of a reader, but Meredith told me this book is ‘life changing’ so I will persevere.

  When Mikey wakes up, we head down to the river for a little walk to get out into the fresh air for a while. But Mike is clearly tired and after about twenty minutes of watching boats on the river, we head back to the hotel.

  “Maybe tomorrow we can go to the aquarium,” I’m saying as I open the door to our room.

  The scent of male cologne hits me almost immediately. I step in slowly and feel a cold wave of nerves go through my body when I see Mike standing at the window, looking out to the river below.

  “Where have you been?” Mike asks.

  “Down at the river,” I answer.

  “Where did you go yesterday?” he asks me.

  “To the zoo,” I answer quietly.

  “I don’t want you going out with Mikey.” He turns around and looks at me.

  I hold his gaze and tilt my head to the side. “You can’t honestly expect us to stay cooped up in a hotel room for the next six weeks.”

  “I can and I do.” He steps toward me and looks down at me. “He’s my son and you work for me. So you’ll do as I tell you.” He pushes past me and heads toward the door.

  “I won’t,” I say quietly. “It’s unreasonable to expect a four year old boy to sit in a hotel room for weeks on end. It’s not fair.”

  “He was perfectly happy doing it before you showed up.” He puts his hand on the handle and opens the door.

  I scoff at his arrogance. “You call what he was happy? The kid was miserable.”

  He turns around and looks at me and I instantly regret saying it. Not that it's not true but a parent doesn’t need to hear that their child is miserable. “Look,” I say. “If you’re worried about his safety...no one seems to know who he is. We’ve not been bothered by anyone.”

  Now it’s Mikes turn to scoff. “Of course you haven’t. Who would ever notice you?” He shakes his head at me and leaves the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

  *****

  A loud bang wakes me and my heart immediately starts thumping in my chest. Someone is at the door to my room, trying to open it. I try to remember if I put the latch across before I went to bed last night.

  I hear a beep and then the light from the hallway enters the room as a dark figure walks in.

  I sit up in bed and as my eyes adjust to the light, I see the figure stumble against the wall before standing upright again.

  “Mike?” I whisper.

  He groans and comes toward the bed, falling down heavily on it.

  “What are you doing here? You’re in the wrong room.” I can smell alcohol and cigarettes on his clothes.

  “It’s my room,” he slurs.

  “No. It’s our room, Mikey’s and mine.”

  “I’m paying for it, so I’ll use it whenever I want.” He crawls up the bed next to me and falls down heavily. Seconds later, his breathing slows and I know he’s asleep. Or passed out cold. Either way, I don’t think he’ll be waking up any time soon.

  I get out of bed and go to Mikey’s bed. I curl up on the edge and try to sleep. But I can’t. Mike starts snoring and I have absolutely no idea what to do. Should I wake him up and force him back to his own suite? Should I take Mikey to Mike’s room? Should I call Gavin? I would if I had his number or knew his room number. And there is no point calling reception. They wouldn’t put me through to Mike, so there’s little chance they’ll put me through to Gavin.

  Mike moans in his sleep and moves on the bed. I silently pray that he wakes up and goes back to his own room. But he soon becomes still again. He’s obviously rolled onto his back because the snoring becomes louder and I know I am not going to get another wink of sleep.

  There is a knock on my room door. I get up out of bed and look through the peep-hole. A very large man is standing outside my door.

  I latch the door with the chain and open it. “Who are you?” I ask.

  “I’m Wayne, Mike’s security. Is Mike here?”

  “Yes he is. He’s...asleep,” I say, closing the door to remove the chain and letting Wayne in.

  “Sorry about this. Mike has a habit of disappearing when he drinks. And last night he drank enough to drown a fish.”

  “Oh,” I say, suddenly self conscious about being in my pyjamas.

  Wayne smiles at me. “Give me your phone.”

  “Why?” I ask.

  “I’m going to programme my number in as your number one contact. If Mike ever...well, if you ever need me, you can call me. Day or night.”

  “Good idea.” I retrieve my phone from next to the bed and hand it to Wayne.

  “I’m going to put Gavin’s number in too. Gavin is sober, has been for months. He’s pretty good at helping out with Mike. Gav and Mike are like brothers, really close.”

  “Okay, thanks.”

  “And I’ll give you Mike’s number,” he shrugs. “Just in case. Now I’m going to text your number to me, Gav and Mike.” Once he’s finished, he tosses my phone onto the bed. “It was nice to meet you Lyndsay. And remember, you can call me day or night. As long as it’s for Mike. He’s a slippery little maggot.” He goes to the side of the bed where Mike is sleeping. “Come on Mike. Up you get.” Wayne grabs him under his arms and lifts him up.

  Mike groans and tries to push Wayne away but his efforts are all futile. Wayne picks up Mike and carries him over his shoulder toward the door.

  “It was nice to meet you, Lyndsay.” Wayne smiles and leaves the room. It looks like I’m not the only one who has problems with Mike.

  6.

  Today is my first day off. Yesterday, I bumped into Liane and she, among other things, told me that Mike is expecting Mikey at nine o’clock.

  I’m tempted to ask if he’s going to be exposed to anything a four year old boy shouldn’t be, but I don’t want to blow my chances of getting a day off. Not that it’s killing me looking after Mikey, he’s actually growing on me, but I need to run a few errands and I’d like to see a movie. Have some down time.

  Mikey is super excited to be spending the day with Mike. He’s heard me refer to his dad as Mike so he has adopted the name also. If Mike has a problem with it, he can deal with it.

  Mikey packs a few books and Lego into my backpack and stands eagerly at the door to our suite waiting for me to gather my things together.

  I put my purse and phone and hotel pass into my handbag and grab a jacket. “Let’s go.”

  I’ve taken Mike’s instructions on board, for now, and have kept to the hotel. Mikey and I have frequented the swimming pool and the lobby to watch the water fountains. We’ve spent time
in our hotel suite, drawing and colouring and doing origami. I think it’ll be nice for Mikey to spend a day out with his father.

  I’m knocking at Mike’s suite, but no one is answering. Mikey has a turn at wrapping his knuckles on the door but all is quiet. It’s going to break Mikey’s heart if his father doesn’t open the damn door.

  Down the long hallway, another door opens and Paul stumbles out into view. He stares at me and Mikey before he smiles and starts toward us.

  “Mike is not going to be happy to see you,” he slurs.

  I roll my eyes and knock again on Mike’s door.

  “He’s not going to answer. The last I saw of him he had his head between...”

  “Paul,” I say loudly. “I don’t think Mikey needs to hear it.” Neither do I for that matter.

  Paul keeps walking closer. “You’re kinda hot, in a librarian sort of way.”

  I take a deep breath and knock again on the door. “Go away Paul.”

  Paul laughs. “I bet you’re a real tiger in bed.” He comes closer again.

  I lean down and take Mikey’s hand. “Come on Mikey, we’re going to go to the aquarium.”

  “But I want Mike to come,” Mikey protests, digging in his heels and flatly refusing to walk. For a little kid he sure is strong. My hand slips from his and he turns back to knock on the door again.

  “Let him keep knocking. There is no way Mike’s waking up.” Paul grabs my hand and pulls me toward him.

  “Let me go,” I snarl, pushing at him with my other hand.

  “Come on sugar, let me have a taste of you.” He moves his head down to kiss me but I manage to move away. It doesn’t discourage him. He simply grabs out for me again, grabbing my arm.

  “Paul, let go of me.” My voice is stern but underneath I am falling to pieces. I remember that Mikey is most probably watching what is unfolding between Paul and I and muster all the strength I have not to completely lose it. I must not cry. I must be strong.

  Paul tries to kiss me again but I push him away. “Paul, I said no.”

  I try to pull my arm from his grip but he’s too strong. “I said yes,” he says before he pushes me backward. I stumble back against the wall, my head hitting it hard enough to take the breath from my lungs. Paul comes at me with an unexpected speed and pins my shoulders to the wall. “And Paul always gets what he wants.”

  “She said no, Paul.”

  Paul lets go of me instantly. He takes two steps backwards and looks to his right. He slowly retreats and finally turns and walks away.

  I take a few deep breaths to calm myself before I look to see who is standing in the hallway.

  “Are you okay?” It takes me a second to recognise my rescuer. Gavin is standing a few meters from me. His once red hair is now bright blue.

  “Yes,” I say quietly. I walk away.

  I’m packing my bags and I’m leaving. I can’t do this anymore. Not for Blue Saturn, not for Mikey and certainly not for Mike. They’ll have to find someone else.

  There’s a knock on my door and when I don’t answer it, I hear the door unlock and open.

  “Lyndsay. It’s Wayne. Can I come in?”

  “No,” I say but Wayne appears next to me.

  “Can we talk?”

  “If you’re here to convince me to stay you’re wasting your time. I’m leaving.”

  “I’ll call you a cab myself.”

  That gets my attention. I look up at him.

  “But before you leave, can I say a few things?” Wayne is a huge man. Tall and wide. He’s standing at the entrance to the wardrobe, taking up almost the entire width of the doorway. I’m inside the wardrobe, sitting on the floor, my suitcase open next to me. I feel like a tiny child in his presence. He must sense how intimidated I am by him because he lowers himself ungracefully to the floor, sitting down so we’re almost at the same level.

  He waits a few moments before he finally starts speaking. “I’m not going to make excuses for Paul’s behaviour. He was completely out of line and if you want to press charges of assault, you’re within your rights to do so.”

  He pauses to wait for my response. When I neither agree nor disagree he continues.

  “Mike has asked me to ask you if you can stay until they leave for Sydney.”

  “Mike knows what happened?” I ask.

  “Of course he does,” Wayne says. “He wants to know if any of his band members are misbehaving.”

  I widen my eyes at Wayne.

  “Yes, I see the hypocrisy in that statement. But Mike isn’t a bad guy and he’d certainly never pull a stunt like Paul tried with you today.”

  He’s right. Mike has never touched me. Not to shake my hand or even when he climbed into my bed drunk.

  Wayne smiles sympathetically. “Mike apologises for forgetting about you having a day off today and he will have Mikey for today and tonight.”

  “Why do I get the feeling that he’s only doing that because I got attacked by his lead guitarist?”

  Wayne smiles. “It’s his way of saying sorry.”

  I nod my head and despite that big loud voice in my head screaming at me to run away, I continue to nod my head. What would happen to Mikey if I left now? I’ve managed to avoid all members of Blue Saturn by staying away from the penthouse suites. Surely I can avoid them for a few more days. “I’ll stay until you leave for Sydney.”

  Wayne’s smile broadens. “Thanks Lyndsay. I’ll let Mike know.”

  I unpack my clothes and settle in for a day of binge eating. I order in a rom-com, don a bath robe and open a block of chocolate.

  My phone beeps next to my bed. It’s a text message from Gavin. “Are you busy?”

  His message makes me smile. I message him back. “Yes, I’m very busy.”

  His reply comes through a few minutes later. “What are you doing?”

  I can’t tell him what I’m really doing. So I lie. “I’m about to go for a 10k run.” That should scare him off.

  “Sweet, I’ll meet you outside your room in five minutes.”

  Whoops. Thankfully I’m fully capable of running 10 k’s

  Surprisingly, Gavin looks every bit the runner when I open my suite door. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and long black running pants, with grey running shorts over the top. His blue hair is hidden under a cap and he’s holding a pair of sun-glasses in his hands. He has his iPod strapped to his arm and his earphones hang from the neck of his shirt.

  I see him scan my attire. I’m curvy, I know that and my tight fitting running gear shows it. I’m also wearing running pants, pink and grey in colour and my black top is tightly fitted. I’m holding my iPod in my hand. “You won’t be offended if I don’t talk while we run.”

  “Absolutely not,” he smiles. “Have you stretched?” he asks.

  “I thought we could run down the stairs to warm up?” I close my hotel room door and head toward the stairwell.

  “Good idea.”

  We’re running along the river, joining other joggers and bike riders and walkers. We run for five kilometres one way before we turn around and run back. When we get to the seven kilometre mark, Gavin stops and puts his hands on his head.

  “You’re fitter than me,” he smiles. “I can’t run any further.”

  I stop and walk back to him. “That’s okay. I don’t mind walking.”

  We walk along the river in the midday sun. There is no breeze and the water is still. We don’t speak as we both take deep breaths to steady our hearts.

  Finally, Gavin moves closer to me. “Are you okay?”

  I look up at him. He looks genuinely concerned. “Yes, thank you. I was just a little shaken, that’s all.”

  “Mike hit him.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, punched him right in the eye.”

  I don’t say anything because Paul deserved it. It surprises me though that Mike cares that much.

  “He likes you,” Gavin said.

  “Yeah, well...I have no interest in having a relationship with
Paul.”

  Gavin laughs. “I meant Mike. Mike likes you.”

  I laugh too. “He has a funny way of showing it.”

  As I approach my hotel suite, I realise I’ve forgotten to bring my pass with me.

  “I’ll see if reception will give me another one.”

  “They won’t,” Gavin says. “But there are a couple of spare ones upstairs, in Mike’s room.”

  Gavin has a pass to Mike’s suite, so he doesn’t have to knock before he enters. I stay in the corridor as Gavin walks in.

  When he realises I’m not with him, he turns back. “Well come on.”

  “I think I’ll just wait out here.”

  “Come on. He’s with the little fella. It might be the one time you see him sober.” He steps toward me and grabs my arm. “He might actually be nice to you.”

  Reluctantly, I enter the suite, pulled along by Gavin.

  When we reach the main living area, my eyes immediately go to Mikey. He’s sitting in the middle of the floor, tears silently falling down his cheeks. When he sees me, he quickly gets up and runs to me.

  “Don’t leave me again, Indsy.” He grabs onto my legs and tries to climb up my body.

  I lift him up and hold him against me. “Where is Mike?” I ask.

  “He’s working with the lady,” Mikey answers, his tears still falling down onto my shoulder.

  I look over at Gavin, panic going through my body. “Where is he? He didn’t leave Mikey on his own, did he?”

  Gavin shrugs and looks toward a door on the far side of the kitchen. “I don’t know.”

  Suddenly, the door opens and Mike stumbles out. He looks at us, the three of us standing together in the middle of the room and scratches his bare chest. “What are you doing here?”

  “What are you doing, more like?” I ask, unable to hide my anger. “One day, Mike. You couldn’t go one day without screwing one of your little disease infested whores.”

  “I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” He walks slowly toward us. “What’s your problem anyway? Why do you think you’re better than me?”