Child's Play

by Andrew Neiderman

  She followed her foster mother and the social worker down to the living room of the big house. They asked her to take a seat, but she kept standing and walked about looking at the paintings and artifacts in the room. Sharon couldn’t stand the tension. She went to the front door and called out to Alex. Elizabeth heard her shout that the girl was here. “HURRY!” She smiled and shook her head. She was in the mood to be disruptive and insolent.

  But when Alex Gold walked into the room, Elizabeth retreated immediately. She sat in one of the easy chairs, all the while watching him, unable to take her eyes from his. The two boys at his side moved quickly and obediently to the couch and sat down quietly, their hands folded in their laps. Sharon appeared with the dog in her arms. She took a seat quickly also. Elizabeth noticed that she looked relieved.

  “Sorry we weren’t here to greet you,” Alex said. He turned to Kaplan. “I thought Mrs. Hoffman said two o’clock.”

  “I knew it,” Sharon said and nodded at Elizabeth.

  “No harm done anyway, I trust,” Alex added. “Let’s get everyone properly introduced. This is Richard.”

  “Hi,” he said. “Welcome to the Manor.”

  Elizabeth didn’t respond. She turned her shoulder and sat back, pulling her blouse tightly against her bosom. Her breasts lifted as if in greeting. Mr. Kaplan stared with fascination. Richard, though, was nonplussed. He looked to Alex, who nodded so slightly it was nearly undetectable.

  “And this is Carl.”

  “Hello,” Carl said. He let the corners of his mouth fall just enough to reveal his disdain.

  “Well, boys, this is Elizabeth,” Alex said. He said it so dramatically that Elizabeth felt as though she had been presented on a stage. For a moment she considered herself. His tone of voice filled her with pride. She changed her position and sat forward. “You can call me Alex.” He turned to say something about Sharon, but Sharon anticipated him and spoke up so quickly and so loudly that she appeared comical.

  “We already met.”

  Elizabeth started to laugh, but noticed that the boys remained serious. In fact, they stared at Sharon angrily. They acted as though she had embarrassed them, or, more importantly, embarrassed Alex.

  Their reaction made her curious. She watched them while Alex and Kaplan talked. The boys seemed afraid to look back at her. They were so contained, so controlled. They reminded her of someone: that boy in Smallwood who had taken LSD and become catatonic for days.

  What a bunch of weirdos, she thought, and for a few moments, right before Martin Kaplan left, she felt like dropping her facade of toughness to beg him to take her out of there. But she said nothing, and the door was closed between them.

  “Well,” Alex said turning to her, “we’ll let you settle in. Sharon will help you, and then we’ll meet together and talk about how things are here.”

  She wanted to say something like “No shit,” but she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to admit to fear. Besides, it was more than fear. There was something about the way he looked right at her, searched her face, and held her attention. She was both relieved and disappointed when he walked off—something like when a roller coaster ride ended. Alex was exciting and dangerous. Without complaint, she followed Sharon back to her room.

  Sharon put the dog down, but it stayed away from Elizabeth. It eyed her with distrust and hovered near Sharon’s legs, almost making her trip.

  “He’ll get used to you,” she said, “just as he got used to the boys.”

  “How come they’re like zombies?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Pardon?”

  “Those boys. They look brainless.”

  “Oh no, they’re doing very well in school and they’re very well behaved. You’ll see. Alex has made them…made them comfortable here. We hope you’ll be, too.”

  “Yeah, this is paradise,” Elizabeth said, and she flopped on the bed.

  “Don’t you want to unpack?”

  “When I’m ready. Tell me about Alex,” she demanded and placed the pillow behind her to serve as a support for her back when she sat up. She put her feet, shoes and all, up on the bed.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Who put that stick up his ass?”

  “What?” Sharon brought her hands to her face.

  “What’s he—some kind of general or somethin’?”

  “Oh no, no. Alex always disliked the military.”

  “We’ll see. I wouldn’t trust any male, especially those two zombies.”

  “Please don’t call them zombies,” Sharon said. “If you want to get along here, you’ll have to refrain from name calling. That will only make for trouble, and Alex won’t put up with it.” Sharon delivered the reprimand as sternly as she could.

  Elizabeth stared at her for a few moments. The woman seemed fragile, on the verge of some kind of hysteria; yet with her back up, she was aggressive and determined. Once again, Elizabeth was reminded of someone: Sarah Cross at the temporary house, the girl who had suffered so many beatings she was terrified of everyone and everything. But she would fight like a trapped rat when she was cornered, lashing out wildly, scratching, kicking. Most knew when to back off her.

  “Alex really runs things around here, huh?”

  “Alex is a very capable and intelligent person. If you give him a chance, he can help you. I hope you’ll give us all a chance.” Elizabeth shrugged and looked away. “I can appreciate your anger,” Sharon added. “Especially after what happened to you.”

  “What do you mean?” Elizabeth said, snapping her head around.

  “I mean that unfortunate…the…that you were raped.”

  “Oh, that.” Elizabeth laughed.

  “How can you laugh about it?” Sharon seemed more interested than critical.

  “What should I do, cry? Screw that. I ain’t cryin’ because of him.”

  “Well, I suppose it’s good that you can put such a horrible event out of your mind,” Sharon said, still feeling somewhat in awe of the tough-talking teenage girl.

  “You wanna know the truth?”

  “The truth? Of course. We always tell the truth here. That’s one of Alex’s most important principles.”

  “Jesus, what is Alex, God?”

  “You were saying something about the truth,” Sharon said, ignoring her.

  “It’s not important,” Elizabeth said and turned away. Her face took on the softest expression it had since she had arrived. Sharon was moved and thought maybe she should try harder to reach the girl.

  “Lots of things don’t seem to be important at the moment, but they are when we think about them,” she said. Elizabeth continued to stare at the wall. “I wish I’d had someone to talk to when I was your age. It was hard back then. My mother…well, she was kind of prudish, if you know what I mean.”

  Elizabeth turned toward her and looked at her as though for the first time. “Did you make it with someone before you married Alex? I heard that girls used to have to be virgins before they got married.”

  “I’m not as old as you think,” Sharon said smiling.

  “You dress kind of old-fashioned.”

  “Oh, that. Alex isn’t very fond of the styles today. He likes me the way I am.”

  “Do you do everything he wants?”

  “No,” Sharon said. She couldn’t help the flush that came into her face. “I do what I like, too, but it’s nice to have someone to please.”

  “You never answered my question.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. What was your question?”

  “Did you make it with someone before you married Alex?”

  “Make it?”

  “Screw,” Elizabeth said forcefully. Sharon winced and looked toward the opened door.

  “No,” she said in practically a whisper.

  “So what did you have to talk about when you couldn’t find anyone to talk to?”

  “Different things. Feelings. Things that happened. All I’m saying is it’s nice to have a close friend. Did you ever have a cl
ose friend?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Well, I’d like to try to be your friend,” Sharon said. It took a great effort to say it sincerely. She felt drained from the conversation already.

  “Really. All right,” Elizabeth said, sitting up. “You asked me about the rape?”

  “Yes.”

  “It wasn’t really a rape. I just made out that it was. I seduced him and then blamed it on him.”

  “Oh,” Sharon said, bringing her hand to her cheek. Elizabeth laughed.

  “Now don’t go tellin’ anybody about it, because you’re my close friend,” she said.

  “Oh,” Sharon repeated. “I’ve got to go…go to the kitchen,” she said, and hurried from the room. Elizabeth’s laughter followed her out.

  This is going to be too much, Sharon told herself. It’s just as I thought. I’m going to have to leave it to Alex.

  He and the boys were in the living room waiting. They looked up expectantly when she appeared.

  “Everything all right?” he asked. She just looked at him. Then she hurried off to the kitchen.

  The feminine element is important, Alex thought. He remembered his father’s words. He had taken him to the sanctuary and he had lit the candles. Then he had sat on the straightback wooden chair in the shadows and spoken. His tone was soft, but there was iron in it.

  “We are all of one flesh,” he had said. “Good and evil are not only a man’s concern.”

  Alex hadn’t been sure he knew what his father meant, but he was afraid to ask questions. He had been only ten years old at the time, but sometimes his father had acted as though he had no concept of how old he was and what he could understand at that age. As far as his father was concerned, if he spent time telling him something, he should understand it miraculously.

  “There is no such thing as a man’s temptation and a woman’s temptation,” he had said. “Temptation is temptation. They want to touch themselves just like you want to touch yourself.”

  “I don’t wanna touch myself,” Alex had said.

  “What did I say if you lie? What did I say?”

  “You said you can see a lie.”

  “That’s right. You can see it; you can see it. If you’re good, you can see it.”

  “I didn’t lie,” he’d said, but he said it too low for his father to hear.

  “Tell me again about Mrs. Stanley. Tell me what happened.”

  “I told you.”

  “Tell me again if I ask,” his father had commanded.

  “We were playing in Danny’s backyard and you could see into Mrs. Stanley’s house next door.”

  “But you didn’t want to look; you didn’t go there to look.”

  “No,” he’d said quickly. Actually Danny had talked him into it and they had gone to be Peeping Toms, but what had frightened him was what Mrs. Stanley had done when she saw they were there. She hadn’t covered up the window; she hadn’t shouted or threatened to call Danny’s parents. She had taken off her robe and, naked, come right up to the window. She’d laughed at the shock on their faces, and they had run as fast and as hard as they could. Afterward, on the way home, he had felt almost nauseous knowing he would have to tell his father. He knew he would be afraid of the darkness forever unless he told him.

  “You think of her body now, don’t you?” his father asked. He hadn’t waited for Alex’s answer. “Beware of the body of the woman. It can bring you down; it can drain you of the good.”

  Alex couldn’t help thinking of that. It was part of the reason why making love had become frightening to him. During the early days of their marriage, Sharon had been eager, actually demanding their lovemaking. She had become the aggressor. He had nightmares about her vagina, seeing it as a great and powerful vise, gripping his penis within its lips and squeezing and pulling until one night he imagined it snapping off and being swallowed within.

  Gradually he retreated from lovemaking, until time after time, almost immediately after entering her, he softened and became incapable of performing the act altogether. He left her whimpering in bed, but he didn’t feel sorry for her and he didn’t feel sorry for himself. He felt relieved. When he analyzed it, he concluded that the goodness in him was winning out.

  Not that he considered sex as evil in and of itself. It was just that nothing erotic seemed to arouse him, not the sight of a naked woman in a magazine or a movie, nor his earlier memories of sexual experiences. When he remembered those experiences now, he didn’t recall them as a participator; he recalled them as an observer. It was as though he were witnessing a scene involving someone else. The result was a new kind of power. In separating himself from the act, he was able to manipulate and control.

  He tried to get the boys to understand this when he told them that sex shouldn’t control them or drive them; they should control it and use it as a weapon. He wondered if he would be able to get the same idea across to the girl, especially a girl who had been baptized so early in a pool of erotic liquid.

  Actually though, he was glad she had been pushed into prostitution at such an early age, because he was sure she had already discovered what a powerful device her body was. Grown men would risk reputations, eternal souls, moral beliefs, families and wives, as well as jobs and money for sex. He was convinced this girl had already had a taste of power. Now his task was to show her how to use it and become part of his “family.”

  “I don’t believe in man-to-man discussions,” Alex said, his face so taut and intense, his eyes so steady they looked as though they had been painted on his face. “What we have are people-to-people talks, and the main ground rule is that no one has to be here if he or she doesn’t want to be. That includes me, as well,” he added. It was Elizabeth’s first time in the group. “We were going to tell you about it,” he said, “after you were settled in. We don’t want to push ourselves on anyone. It’s not part of any special requirements to live here.”

  Elizabeth looked from him to the boys. She was impressed with the fact that Sharon was excluded. Sharon had told her she was too busy to be a part of it, but Elizabeth got the definite feeling that Sharon wasn’t invited. It made the talks seem that much more enticing. Something secret went on here, something not for the likes of someone like Sharon. It hadn’t taken Elizabeth long to size her up, and her conclusions left little to respect.

  “What do you talk about?”

  “Problems, ideas, whatever anyone wants to talk about. I’m not a psychiatrist or a counselor.”

  “I’m glad of that,” she said. He nearly smiled. He let his eyes relax and she looked up at him, her head tilted slightly to the left. He knew she was flirting with him. He could sense it, but it didn’t effect him the way she hoped it would. “Where do you have these meetings?”

  “We have a room set aside for our privacy.”

  “You mean so Sharon can’t hear?” Elizabeth smiled a knowing smile, a smile beyond her years. Yes, he thought, she’s perfect. “OK, I’ll come today.”

  And so later in the day she was there. The Echo Lake Manor had fourteen rooms, which had once been filled with summer tourists. The original farmhouse had been expanded twice. The room Alex had chosen for his formal meetings with the children was the most anterior room in the oldest part of the building. It was five doors down from his and Sharon’s bedroom. The hallway was poorly lit and the old walls and long unused rooms smelled musty. Although the oldest part of the building was the strongest built, with the most quality care, the floorboards creaked. In the winter these unused rooms were left unheated, but Alex put two electric heaters in his “meeting” room.

  Just before Elizabeth’s arrival, he had added an old square-shaped easy chair. The pillows were thick and soft, so that anyone but him sitting in it looked swallowed and lost. In the children’s minds, it quickly became identified as Alex’s chair. Alex never looked small, never looked diminished by anything, especially by any part of the house. He moved through it with a blind man’s inner sight; it seemed to reflect his p
ersonality, or vice-versa. When Alex was unhappy, the house looked dismal to the children. They could go nowhere within it and feel safe and secure. Nothing they owned; nothing done to their rooms could change that. It was all in Alex’s control.

  Elizabeth sat on the left end of the couch, the two boys all the way to the right. It was as though they were afraid to touch one another. Richard eyed her suspiciously. Despite Alex’s counseling and explanations, Richard still didn’t trust Elizabeth. Like Alex at his age, he was uneasy in the presence of girls, especially girls who had worldly experience. Carl was more indifferent to her.

  “Actually, I can’t blame you for not trusting men,” Alex said. Elizabeth had kept to herself for the first couple of days, refusing to accompany the boys to school or talk to them much during the course of the day.

  “I’m not afraid of men,” she said. She stared Richard down. He lowered his head and then looked up at Alex.

  “What we have discovered together,” Alex went on, changing his tone of voice, making it softer, filling it with a sense of sincerity, “is that you kids are in a class by yourself. That no matter what people might tell you…”

  “We are like lepers,” Elizabeth said quickly, anxious to show Alex she understood the point before the boys did.

  “Exactly.”

  “What are lepers?” Carl asked. He wasn’t self-conscious enough to be afraid of appearing less intelligent than Elizabeth. Even so, Richard gave him a disdainful look.

  “People who suffer from leprosy,” Alex said, “an infectious disease that wastes body parts. They used to be forced to stay together, away from the rest of society, in what were known as leper colonies.”

  “We have a disease?” Carl looked at the other two. Elizabeth’s confident and knowing expression retreated. A disease, she thought. Actually, what did the girls at the temporary house mean when they referred to foster children as “lepers”?