Shattered Silence

by Ron C. Nieto

  “Hopefully.”

  This time, the swatting came from the full Team A in tandem. I decided it'd be wise to go back to my observant role and leave all commenting to them.

  “So, I've decided I like Dave,” Anna blurted.

  “And...?” Alice gestured for her to go on.

  “What do you mean, ‘and?'”

  “Wait. You commandeered the kitchen to tell us that?”

  “What's wrong with it? You think it's not important enough?” Alcohol made Anna's emotions swing wildly and she went from enthusiastic to on the verge of tears in less time than it takes to blink.

  “Of course it's important,” Alice said, rushing from my side to hers. “It's just that...” She looked at me for support.

  “It's just that we knew already.”

  “You did? How? I didn't!” She sobered up and her face scrunched up in thought.

  “Well, we're your friends and it was obvious that there was something,” Alice soothed.

  “Since when?”

  Alice looked at me again.

  “Ah... New Year's?” I said with a shrug.

  “But, but that's almost a month ago!”

  “Yeah.”

  “Come on, Anna, think back,” Alice said. “Don't you think you already felt something special before today?”

  At that moment, while Anna tried to sort out her feelings, the sound of shattering glass and a blood-curling screech rose over the party din.

  Chapter 3

  We were in the kitchen, standing right beside the back door, so we were among the first to arrive. Those already outside were too far gone to realize what was happening.

  There were razor-like fragments of glass lying against the wall beside the door, and it spread like a macabre mimicry of the red carpet on Oscar ceremony day. There was a pool at the end of the walkway leading from the house, but being late January, it was dry for winter maintenance. A guy laid on the bottom.

  Crap.

  Acting on instinct, I pushed Alice behind me. Her sharp intake of breath told me that she'd been able to see over my shoulder anyway.

  “What's going on?” Anna slurred, disoriented from rushing out.

  “There's been an accident,” I said.

  “Is he...?” Alice said.

  I didn't reply. I had no idea. But I jogged to the brim and carefully dropped the six feet to the bottom.

  The guy was sprawled facedown. One foot was bent at an unnatural angle, but he was also breathing. His hands were covered in a myriad small cuts, but most of the blood came from a head cut, which hopefully wasn't as serious as it looked. I didn't dare move him.

  “Alice? Do you have your cell?” I called out.

  There was a moment of silence and I pictured her fumbling around her skinny jeans as if her brand new iPhone would have room to hide. Then, “Yeah! I have it!”

  “Call an ambulance.”

  By then, two other boys had jumped into the pool with me and a ring of curious onlookers had formed around the perimeter. Things seemed to be on their way to be under control and I stood up again.

  “Do you know him?” I asked one of the other guys.

  “Yeah, sure. Adam Perkins,” he said, looking at me as if I had spouted something monumentally stupid.

  I probably had. He probably was with the hot crowd. His name should probably be known. I didn't care. “Don't move him. The meds need to secure his neck and check for head injuries first.”

  “Sure, okay.”

  Nodding to him, I climbed back out of the hole and searched for Alice, who was sitting with a very nervous Anna.

  “The ambulance is coming,” she said as soon as I reached her. “What should we do?”

  “Does high-tailing it sound good?” It was solid advice. Most of the other kids who were sober enough to understand the situation were already hurrying off.

  “Sounds great. I'm worried about leaving that poor guy like that, but right now, I'm more worried about being caught drinking at an underage party.”

  “I knew you had your priorities all sorted out.” I leaned in to kiss her, just a quick peck with Anna staring at us less than three feet away. “I'll go and find Dave. You girls should start moving just in case.”

  We parted and I stayed put long enough to see them cutting through a side yard and ambling to a parallel street. They hadn't said anything, but I knew they'd be heading toward school, which in turn would put them closer to Alice's and my part of town. I'd catch up with them later.

  Dave's shock of red hair was distinctive enough—and he was tall enough—that I could spot him fairly easily. He was still in the house, where the rumbling music had kept most party-goes in the dark about the accident and about the incoming patrol car. He leaned against a wall, gloomy and broody like the best Byronian hero, and his eyes scanned the dancing floor untiringly. It was a safe bet he was trying to locate Anna.

  “Hey,” I said, “we're going home. The girls already left.”

  “What? Why? What happened?” He was alert in an instant. Perhaps the can in his hand was the first, or perhaps he was better at this than Anna had turned out to be.

  I shook my head and motioned him to come along. I didn't want the news out, because if the cops caught this pseudo-revelry in full swing, they'd be too busy to follow a couple of stragglers back home.

  Selfish? Yeah. But I need to make sure Alice gets home okay.

  I guided him to the back door, around the house, across the neighbor's yard and into the next street.

  “My car's back there, you know.”

  “You aren't driving after drinking. Besides, the cops will catch us before you have time to maneuver out of the area.”

  “Cops? What the hell, Keith?”

  “A guy fell into the pool, or jumped in or something. But it was empty.”

  “Crap! Is he okay? Who was he?”

  “Adam Perkins. He seemed fine, but I'm not sure. Not an expert.”

  “Damn. I knew that guy was too lucky... He was bound to get a sucky result. I hope he's okay, though.”

  “Lucky? Hell, Dave, he fell six feet under. That's just bad mojo.”

  “But he was in the party to begin with, and dating the most popular girl in school.”

  “Hey, Alice's with me.”

  Dave punched my arm with a snort. “Lena, idiot.”

  The guy had looked pretty normal. I tried to picture the Bitch Queen dating him and failed.

  “Uh. And how's dating that one good luck, exactly?”

  “Well, she's leagues beyond what your average mathlethe would date. You've got to admit that.”

  “She just wants her homework done. And I've seen weirder couples anyway.”

  “You know... I think that, deep down, you two aren't that weird.”

  I didn't say anything. A part of me, however small, wanted to agree.

  We reached the girls after a couple minutes of fast walking. They'd stopped to wait for us and Anna had sobered up considerably.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked as soon as we were within hearing distance.

  “No idea,” Dave said. “We'll find out tomorrow.”

  “And is that okay?”

  Dave shrugged. “Not much we could've done if we'd stayed. Waiting for the meds to do their job is the only real option, and it's better to do that while not being questioned.”

  His answer was too practical to be comfortable, but I agreed with him. I didn't care for anyone at that party, not beyond a mere humanistic interest for fellow human beings and it certainly wasn't enough to get in trouble over it.

  Is that how people work in this world? Is this detachment all there is to expect?

  “What a crappy way to end a perfectly good evening, don't you think?” Alice wrapped her fingers around mine and brought me back from that bitter line of thought.

  In my humble opinion, this was what qualified as a perfectly good evening, having her close and warm ag
ainst me in the late winter cold, the night quiet and pleasant around us. Definitely not the wild debauchery and abandon from the party.

  “Yeah,” I said instead, “the dancing wasn't half bad.”

  She smiled and I thought I could hear the opening riff for a new song in my head. However much I complained about her social sphere, the truth was that I loved being by her side, holding her hand, and watching her smile with that note of pride only she would muster for me.

  And yes, I had enjoyed the dancing.

  “We should each go dance home now, though. It's a long way if we have to walk.” Anna stood from the curb and stretched. “Man, these heels will kill me.”

  “You're not trying to hitch a piggy-back ride or anything, are you?” Dave asked with an amused smile.

  “You offering?”

  “Okay, guys. We're going,” Alice cut in. “Let us know when you get home... Or better yet, not,” she added with a mischievous wink.

  Anna pursed her lips and Dave looked surprised. I wished I could tell him what was going on, but the girls would give me hell to pay.

  “Lady and gentleman.” I waved a bit before losing myself in the night with Alice.

  By the time we reached her house, the cold had hit us hard and whatever warmth we had left from the exertion or the alcohol had gone out the window. Her fingers trembled a little in my hand, but she didn't rush inside.

  “You can tell me now,” she said with a smile. “It's been horrible.”

  I had to laugh. “I wouldn't go that far.”

  “But almost.”

  “I'm... not that comfortable in that world yet.”

  “I don't know why not,” she said, sighing and leaning against my chest, her face buried against my neck. “I mean, you're nice and witty and sweet. What's the problem?”

  I pondered whether to answer while rubbing her back. In the end, I decided on a yes. She always won. “There's not a problem, exactly. I'm not trying to sound full of myself, but I'm pretty sure I can blend in if I wanted to.”

  “Why don't you want to? What are you so scared of?”

  That's the million dollar question, isn't it?

  I didn't have a reply, so I just held her in silence. At length, she went on, “Okay, different question. If you hate it so much, why are you trying to blend in now?”

  “For you.” That one didn't even require conscious thought.

  “You know... the point is that you enjoy yourself too. I don't want to change you or push you. You know that.”

  “I don't like the crowds, true. I don't like the kind of scrutiny they put you under. I think it's just a lot of cynicism wrapped in contempt most of the time. But I liked being there today.”

  “Liar.”

  I had to smile. “No. I loved the look in your eyes when you were looking at me.”

  “This one?” She took a small step back to gaze at me and it made my breath hitch. Her pupils were dilated, her eyes almost black, reflecting the night light like burning stars. I felt as if I were standing in front of some endless void about to tumble in an endless fall... and I couldn't have cared less. I would've taken the plunge without a second thought and without a second of regret.

  Instead, I forced myself to smile, to brush her hair back from her face, to wrestle back a semblance of control.

  “Not that one, but I liked it,” I said. My voice came out a bit too husky, and I could see her noting it, smiling smugly.

  “Which one then?”

  “The one where you're with me for the world to see and there's no shame. And you're happy.”

  She didn't say anything. We both knew that the first time we'd gone anywhere together she'd been terrified we'd run into her friends, that she'd be seen with me. Later, she'd invited me to go out with those same friends, but the fact was that, as far as I was concerned, our relationship still was a small miracle. For her, it had turned into something natural, and I knew she blamed herself for those first moments.

  “Hey.” Gently, I leaned my forehead against hers. “You think I'm doing it for you, that it's some kind of sacrifice.” The way she bit her lip was telling enough. “I'm doing it for you, but that's because I love how I feel when I put that look in your face.”

  She smiled and kissed me, just tilting her head a little to brush my lips. I sighed, tunneling a hand in her hair and pulling her to me with the other. She gasped and...

  The porch lights came on.

  “Alice?” Andrew called from the door. “We didn't hear David's car... Have you been here long?”

  Damn it.

  “What the hell are they doing awake?” Alice muttered under her breath.

  “Probably checking that your Dracula boyfriend doesn't turn you into a vampire the first night.

  She laughed. “I'll see you tomorrow then?”

  “Sure.”

  I watched while she ran up the steps and into her home. Her dad waved a hand at me, a half-hearted good night that was more than I expected, and with a sketched salute, I turned and headed for my own place.

  If I hurried, perhaps I could finish the transcription I'd been working on before going to bed.

  Chapter 4

  “Whah?”

  “I love you too,” Alice's voice said over the phone. Her laughter sounded muted and I realized I was holding the phone to my cheek.

  I repositioned it, hoping it would fall closer to my ear and tried again.

  “What?”

  “Keith, aren't you supposed to be an early riser? The sun is up and shining.” She still sounded too amused for her own good.

  “I'm awake. What happened?”

  “You're awake now. And nothing happened, really.” I groaned and could hear the smile in her voice when she went on. “I just wanted to hear your voice. Share the news about yesterday party.”

  “God, Alice, you can't tell me you already know what happened. What time is it, eight?”

  “Half past eight on a fine Sunday morning. And you're not going to believe this, but they arrested Simon for hosting the party!”

  She did know. I didn't want to ask how.

  “I don't believe that for a second. That guy has too much money.”

  “Well, he was arrested for all of twenty minutes, but still. The news is all over.”

  “What about the kid who fell? Perkins.”

  “Wanna guess?” Silence on my end. “Well, they say he didn't fall. He jumped.”

  I snorted. “Too drunk to see it was empty?”

  “That's the best part.” I heard springs creaking as she moved in excitement. She was probably curled up in her bed, her Princess dignity the only thing preventing her from jumping up and down. I had to shift in response to that image and the movement tangled me hopelessly in the sheets.

  “I'm listening,” I said after a moment.

  “He wasn't drunk.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “They say he doesn't drink, and the ER tests came up clear too. He was talking about his final math project with some folks while drinking coke… then he screeched and threw the glass against the wall and jumped.”

  Whatever cobwebs of sleep that might've clung to a corner of my mind evaporated with the news. It wasn't normal. It had a definite weird tingle attached. My recent experiences with weirdness made the whole situation quite unamusing, contrary to the beliefs of the crowd. I had had my fair share of weird, enough to last a lifetime.

  “Keith?”

  “People who go from normal to wonky in a minute give me the creeps.”

  “It's not the same thing,” she said, her light tone turning serious in a second. She knew exactly what I meant, how I felt.

  “I know,” I said, getting up from the bed. “Hey, would you like to do something today?” I added, trying to steer my mind clear of memories and paranoia.

  “Sure. I can drop by later before dinner. Just some quiet time.”

  “You know the way.”

  “I
think I do. See you later.”

  “See ya then. Love you.”

  I hung up and tossed the phone on the desk while en route to the window. My head hurt like I had Snow White's team of miner dwarfs working merrily away inside my skull, and while it was later than I usually awoke, I felt just as tired as I had been the previous night.

  “I probably shouldn't have stayed up till 3 a.m.,” I muttered to no one in particular when I opened the blinds. The light fell on the pile of papers that had kept me awake, now strewn all over the floor. I grimaced. Not one single page in order, of course. “Sparrow?”

  The huge black cat slunk out from under the bed and rubbed against my shins, trying his best to look innocent. It might have worked if half the sheets weren't still crumpled in the form of a comfortable nest.

  “Damn it, cat, it's harmless now. Did you have to mess it up after all the effort it took to tab it?”

  Meow. He then batted playfully at one of the sheets. The gesture was so very childish I had to laugh.

  Of course he had to.

  I gathered everything and stacked it before grabbing my guitar. Last night, I felt a perfect riff coming to mind, the first stirrings of a new piece and I wanted to work on it before it dissolved. With the effort to bring some order to the chaos of the ‘Bloody, Cursed Song'—which I thought was a fitting title—out of the way, I could focus on what I really wanted. I played a few scales to stretch my fingers, and then, after a pause, started picking the notes that resonated in my head.

  Root, up second, up fifth, down third... Vibrate that. Yeah, there it is. That's the sound of her smile.

  I kept going. I added in the haughty tilt of her head and the soft look of her eyes, the way her lashes would flutter right before a kiss, the velvety touch of her hands and the silk of her hair. If I tried hard enough, I could add the sway of her hips and the fluidness of her whole body while she danced with me. It was beautiful. Not as much as she was, but as close as I could get.

  I restarted the song, this time playing to the maddening tempo my own heart had beaten against hers.

  “That's radiant,” my father said sometime later, startling me. I didn't know how long he'd been listening. “You must really love her.”