The Record of the Saints Caliber

by M. David White

  “So, did they just drill you about it this whole time?” asked Karinael. “I’ve heard the Oracles can be kind of a bother about things.”

  Nuriel really didn’t want to discuss it anymore. Already she felt dangerously close to spilling everything to her friend, and she just couldn’t do that to Karinael. Not only that, but part of Nuriel wanted Karinael to be able to hold on to those dreams they had once shared; those pleasant dreams of how they thought life in the Saints Caliber would be.

  Nuriel shook her head. “No.” she said. “After the meeting I just needed some time so I found this empty hall with a stained glass window of Holy Father, and I stayed there a while.”

  Karinael rubbed Nuriel’s back. “I understand. I heard that Isley was kind and patient.”

  “I met a little girl.” said Nuriel, hoping Karinael wouldn’t mind the change of subject. “A little girl with the brightest, deepest red hair and eyes I’ve ever seen on a Saint. She couldn’t have been more than five.”

  Karinael smiled. “She was in the Holy Palace?”

  “Yeah.” said Nuriel, smiling herself as she remembered the girl’s round face and beaming eyes. “She was cute. Said her name was Eulalee. She had caught a little mouse. Said it was hurt but that she healed it.”

  Karinael laughed. “Remember when we used to pretend we had Caliber powers and we’d go around pretending to save people?”

  Nuriel nodded. “Only this little girl really did.”

  “No way!” said Karinael, her mouth spreading into a wide smile.

  Nuriel looked at Karinael. “For real. I didn’t believe it either. She put the mouse in my hand and showed me how she did it. She shined her Caliber as white and bright as I can shine mine. I felt it. She really did heal it.”

  “For real?” asked Karinael. “Wow! Looks like you might have some competition in a few years!”

  “Yeah, tell me about it.” said Nuriel. “And then one of the Mothers came running up and scolded her. It was funny, the Mother asked her how she had gotten into the palace. The little girl just looked up at her and said, as if it were no big deal, ‘I jumped up the cliffs’.”

  Karinael laughed. “For real?!”

  Nuriel smiled and nodded. “And then the Mother dragged her off and she was moaning about how she didn’t want to go back and play with the others because they’re all mean.”

  “What a cutie!” said Karinael. “I remember two other little girls with that same attitude.”

  Nuriel looked at Karinael and smiled. “Do you remember Mother Margret?”

  Karinael laughed. “You mean the baths she’d give us?”

  Nuriel laughed. “Yeah. She had big, ruby eyes too. I was thinking about her not too long ago. Remember how we’d pull her hair and she’d pretend not to know which one of us did it?”

  “She’d always get the bath water just right for us.” said Karinael fondly.

  “And remember Mother Brendaline’s berry tarts?”

  “Oh, those were the best!” said Karinael. “Remember that time you got us in trouble by sneaking an entire plate of them into your room?”

  Nuriel laughed. “Yeah. We had berry all over our faces and stood there denying we ever took them.”

  “We?!” shot Karinael with a chuckle. “You’re the one who denied it! You blamed me!”

  Nuriel breathed deep, smiling at the flood of memories of all the Mothers that had looked after them. She knew that many of them were probably still working in the youth dorms. “Do you think it’s true?”

  “What? That you stole the tarts and then tried blaming it on me?”

  “No.” said Nuriel. “About where we come from. Where Saints are born.”

  A puzzled look came over Karinael. “You mean in the Stellanatarium?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah. I mean, where else would we come from? We’re not humans. It’s not like we have parents.”

  Nuriel twisted her lips, thinking to herself. Within the Holy Palace, beyond the tops of the clouds, the highest tower was known as the Stellanatarium. Only on the most cloudless of days could it be seen from the streets of Sanctuary. It was domed by pure crystal and it was said that the moon’s silver rays always shined upon it by night. Within its confines was a golden statue of the Goddess, Aeoria, with her arms held out, holding a bassinet. Within the nightly heavens the stars recorded the deeds of Saints, and whenever a great deed had been accomplished they would send down their blessings to Sanctuary in the form of a baby Saint. The moon’s rays would shine upon the golden bassinet in Aeoria’s arms and a child would be born within it, steel breastplate upon it already.

  Of course, only the six Holy Mothers were ever allowed within the Stellanatarium. They looked much like the Bishops, tall and in red with black masks. Nuriel had never seen them in person. She remembered a picture of them when she was a child. It was hung upon one of the walls in the youth dorms. There was also a fountain there that surrounded golden statues of them. The six Holy Mothers were said to be the sole care providers for the baby Saints until they were three-years old. At the age of three, young Saints were moved to the youth dorms to be looked after and cared for by the Mothers there.

  Periodically, as they outgrew their steel breastplates, they’d be taken to be fitted with new ones. It was always something of a traumatic event that no child Saint ever looked forward to. They’d be taken by the Oracles and Sin Eaters to a special chamber. There they’d be made to kneel upon their hands and knees on the stone floor. The Sin Eaters would drape them in black shrouds and they’d be blindfolded as they cut the old breastplate from their back and fitted and welded a new one in place. All the while the Oracles would be chanting strange prayers in the ancient language.

  The silver, steel breastplates were supposedly a symbol of their origins as a blessing from the stars. Saints were born with a breastplate and died with one. Removing it was forbidden and punishable by death. As far as Nuriel knew, there was never an instance of a Saint removing their breastplate on their own. Only the Saints Caliber ever received star-metal breastplates. Those were given during the Call to Guard Ceremony. Once on, the star-metal breastplate was permanent. Nuriel knew she would die with it on. Karinael would die in her steel one, unless she was made a Saints Caliber and given Star-Armor.

  “Why do you ask?” said Karinael.

  Nuriel shrugged. “It’s just, there’s not many stars left. Not as many blessings.”

  Karinael nodded solemnly. “They say that all the stars will be gone in less than twenty years. Once that happens, there won’t be any more Saints born.”

  Nuriel bit her lip and looked down at the floor. “We’re living in the end times, Karinael. We are Saints of the final age.”

  Karinael pushed Nuriel on the shoulder playfully. “Well that’s why you need to be out there figuring out how to awaken the Goddess!”

  Nuriel looked up at Karinael. She was smiling at her. Nuriel smiled too and tapped Karinael’s breastplate. “You’re a Templar now. You’re going to be out there helping me soon.”

  Karinael’s smile failed her and she looked down. “I doubt it.”

  “Don’t say that.” said Nuriel. “They made you a Templar Novitiate for a reason.”

  “Yeah, for the reason you just mentioned.” said Karinael. “You said it yourself, there’s not too many of us left. Geil and Chaniel are jerks, but they were right. Sanctuary is desperate. We both know I could never make Saints Caliber.”

  Nuriel frowned. She didn’t want to crush Karinael and say she was right. But at the same time, she really didn’t want Karinael to make Saints Caliber. Nuriel knew it was selfish, but she liked Karinael the way she was. She couldn’t bear the thought of her having to go through everything she had. There was a good reason Saints like her and Karinael never made Saints Caliber. She knew that now. It was the Saints like Ovid, Umbrial, Tia, Gamalael and Arric that made Saints Caliber, and for good reason. The world beyond Mount Empyrean was cruel. Perhaps Holy Father had his reasons for subjecting Nuriel to it. N
uriel thought that maybe she would even find out what that reason was tomorrow. In her mind, Nuriel thought that maybe, just maybe, it was Holy Father’s love that made him stay Saints like Karinael from the Saints Caliber. Perhaps there were good reasons that jerks like Geil and Chaniel moved on while the kind and caring like Karinael stayed here.

  “See,” said Karinael. “Even you know it’s true.”

  Nuriel put her arm around Karinael. “It’s not like that.”

  “Then what is it like?”

  Nuriel stood up and walked over to the window. Warm evening sunlight filtered through the red curtain and Nuriel drew it aside. About twenty stories below she could see the training yard where the more experienced Templars trained. This was the view that she and Karinael had looked out upon their entire youths. It was the view that made them wish they were down there training to fight the Unbounds, training to become Saints Caliber and awaken the sleeping Goddess. Nobody was out there in the yard now, but the straw dummies were all set up and she could see the racks of gleaming weapons against the walls. Nuriel could remember her and Karinael watching the older boys and girls learning how to hold their weapons, drilling in different combat stances. She remembered how they ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ as the instructors shouted at the trainees and they whirled into the masses of training dummies, wood and straw flying as they tore through them like a hurricane through a field of reeds. Nuriel thought how naïve they had been to think that they were training to fight demons. Once again Saint Ramiel’s words echoed in her mind, “…do you think we Saints are the heroes the little children all pretend to be, or are we the monsters they set off to slay with their wooden swords?”

  Nuriel stood there, looking out the window. She thought she caught the whiff of burning flesh. She closed her eyes. She could see the child burning in the flames, his hand reaching out to her. She could hear the mother’s screams as flames engulfed her and her baby.

  “Admit it, Nuriel.” said Karinael from the bed. “I’m not cut out for the Saints Caliber.”

  “You don’t want it anyway.” said Nuriel. “You’re better off here.”

  Karinael huffed. “Easy for you to say,” she said, her voice taking on a slightly venomous edge. “You get to be out there. You get to see the world. I stay here and hear about how you single-handedly killed two Infernals and took out an Unbound.”

  Nuriel turned and looked at Karinael. She shook her head. “It’s not like that.”

  “No?” said Karinael with an upset chirp. She stood up and slapped her hands on her thighs. “So, you think I could make Saints Caliber? You think I could be out there with you, fighting Unbounds?”

  Nuriel looked down and shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

  “No, I suppose I wouldn’t.” said Karinael. “My ideas of the Saints Caliber end with our dreams. We used to sit right there by that window, laughing and talking for hours about what it would be like to go out into the world. We’d talk about how nice it would be to get away from Sanctuary and all the jerks and bullies like Geil we’re forced to live with. Do you know how many times you’d be down there, in that very court, and I’d watch you training to fight as I sat in here washing manure from the stables off my gown? So yeah, I guess I don’t understand what it’s like to live a dream. You’ve been out there less than a year, and already I hear the stories of how you’ve killed Infernals and Unbounds. Do you know how many Saints are out there their entire lives and don’t accomplish that much? We used to sit here talking about the old tales and legends, and you’re out there doing it, Nuriel, while I’m still here, hoping and dreaming that I can join you, but knowing deep down that I never will.”

  Karinael turned her head and Nuriel could hear her sniffle. “But thanks for telling me that I’m ‘better off here’. It makes it so much easier, you know?”

  Nuriel turned and looked out the window again, leaning on the sill. She wanted to tell Karinael what being a Saints Caliber was really about, how they weren’t out there looking for demons, but were instead fulfilling the wishes of arrogant, malicious Kings and nobles. Nuriel rubbed her face. It was a world she’d be going right back into, unless of course Holy Father would grant her Eremiticy. But that was a long shot, and Nuriel didn’t dare dream it. No, after tomorrow she’d be right back out there. Back to slaughtering helpless villagers because they needed food and tried to fight back. She’d be back to fulfilling the wishes of kings and nobles; back to dealing with bitches like Tia and assholes like Gamalael. Well, at least she’d learned how to deal with the bitches and assholes. They had to be dealt with like she had done to Geil and Chaniel. But the burning of people? The burning of children? She’d have to deal with all that again.

  Nuriel held her head in her hands. She just couldn’t deal with it right now.

  Nuriel opened up her leather hip-sack and pulled out her folio. She set it on the windowsill and took out the vial of Ev and injector.

  “W-What is that?” asked Karinael.

  Nuriel was startled. She hadn’t even realized what she had been doing. She bit her lip, and without turning around, went back to what she was doing. She picked up the injector. “It’s Evanescence,” she said. “We just call it Ev out in the field. It helps take the edge off.”

  Nuriel could feel her friend’s disapproving eyes on her back as she dipped the injector into the clear liquid and took some up. A full dose this time. She set it down and took off her bracer and began rolling up her sleeve.

  “What are you doing?” snapped Karinael with some disgust. She ran over and put her hand on Nuriel’s arm. “Don’t do that!”

  Nuriel scowled at her. “You want to be Saints Caliber, right? Well, this is what we do.” Nuriel tore her arm away from Karinael and placed the needle to her flesh.

  “What’s wrong with you?!” Karinael knocked the injector out of Nuriel’s hand and it went flying across the room. She looked at Nuriel, her brow furled.

  “As a Saints Caliber we see things.” said Nuriel. She stormed across the room and picked up her injector. “We have to do things.”

  “Do things like break the arms of fellow Saints?” asked Karinael with revulsion. “Do things like take drugs?”

  “Like I said,” said Nuriel, turning away from her. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  Karinael grabbed Nuriel and turned her around. “Tell me what’s wrong. Don’t shut me out. We’re friends.”

  Nuriel shook her head. “No. No. I…I can’t.”

  “Nuriel, please,” said Karinael. Nuriel felt Karinael’s warm hand touch her cheek. “Please, tell me what’s going on. We’re friends, right? We’re like sisters. You can tell me anything. Whatever you’re going through, I’m here for you, but you have to tell me.”

  Nuriel looked at Karinael. Her lips began trembling and she felt hot tears welling in her eyes. “I’ve…I’ve done so many bad things…” Nuriel stopped herself. The pleasant memories of Karinael were mingling with the terrible realities of today. She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t tell Karinael any more. Nuriel buried her head in her hands. She couldn’t help it, tears flowed through her fingers and her body was wracked with sobs.

  “Come on, tell me about it.” said Karinael, taking her by the arm. “Sit down and tell me what’s going on.”

  Nuriel tore herself from Karinael’s grip. Her face was red and streaming with tears. She tried to fix her eyes on Karinael and shook her head. “You don’t understand. I…I can’t. It’s…It’s not safe. I’ve already said too much.” Nuriel packed up her Ev folio and shoved it back in her purse. “I have to go.”

  “What?! No!” said Karinael, grabbing Nuriel by the arm. “Talk to me. Please.”

  “I’ll come see you tomorrow.” said Nuriel, steeling herself and forcing her tears away. “I’ll come by before I leave to see Holy Father.”

  “Please,” begged Karinael. “Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.”

  Nuriel turned and looked at Karinael. She touched her cheek. “I…I just need
some time. I’ll come by tomorrow morning. First thing. I promise.”

  “Are…Are you sure?”

  Nuriel nodded but said nothing. She wiped at her eyes and walked over to the door.

  “You can stay here,” said Karinael, practically pleading. “Just stay the night here.”

  “I can’t.” said Nuriel. She wiped at her eyes and sniffled. “I’ll come by tomorrow. I promise.”

  “Well, at least tell me where you’re going.” said Karinael.

  “I’ll sleep at the barracks.” said Nuriel, sniffing. “The one where visiting Saints Caliber stay. I just need some time.”

  Karinael frowned. Her eyes glanced at Nuriel’s hip-sack. “Well…ok. Promise you’ll come here first thing in the morning?”

  “I swear on Aeoria’s star.” said Nuriel, forcing a smile. She leaned in and gave Karinael a brief hug. Then she turned and left.

  ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

  Nuriel hadn’t slept but maybe an hour. It wasn’t that the barracks were uncomfortable. To the contrary, the bed was nicer than Nuriel had slept in since she left Sanctuary and the entire building was absolutely silent in its desolation. Typically there would be a handful of visiting Saints back from the field at any given time, but at least on that night, Nuriel was the sole occupant. Perhaps it was all for the best anyway. Nuriel hadn’t been in the mood for idle chat, and most of the night had been spent in tears, so much that by dawn’s first light, she was certain she had no more to give.

  She sat up in bed. She had an audience with Admael in just a few hours and she had promised to meet Karinael first. Her mind was once again racing with thoughts and fears. She had been determined not to take any more Ev after midnight so that she could be clean and completely herself when she met Admael. But now, with everything lurking just hours away, it all seemed too much. She sniffed and looked at her folio. She took out her injector and loaded it with a full dose.

  The barracks provided nice, warm showers and Nuriel took her time enjoying their pleasant solitude. Like rain, she let the steaming water caress her face and it pattered on her breastplate. Her mind, at least for now, was as empty and as silent as the barracks. She let the Ev wash her mind of care as thoroughly as the waters washed her body. By the time she had gotten back into her outfit and her armor, the morning sun was streaming through the windows of the barracks. After taking one last deep breath in the desolate stillness of her room, she headed out the door.