Trapped (Delos Series Book 7)

by Lindsay McKenna

  “This is where I crash sometimes after an op,” he said, opening the door with his card.

  “Don’t you have an apartment to go to, though?” she asked. She winced, and realized that was personal information, and she never went there with Ram. But things did seem to be changing—for both of them. And maybe that was a good thing.

  “Yes, I have a condo about two miles from here, in Alexandria. And I give Mazzie to Tyler or one of the other men to take care of in my absence.

  “You have Mazzie?” She heard the surprise and feelings in her tone as she searched his face. His smiled warmed her.

  “Of course. After you left, Wyatt made sure that Mazzie could come back to San Diego with us. That was my last deployment, and she’s been with me ever since.”

  Joy filled her. “I worried about Mazzie when I left Wyatt’s team. I wasn’t sure . . . well . . . what would happen to her.”

  “I kept her,” he said. “You don’t throw something away that you love.” He shifted and looked toward the hallway. “A lot of the people who work for Artemis are in the same high rise. There are times when I come back from an op and am so exhausted that I just choose to crash here, instead. It’s a great perk available to us, and it’s easy to collapse on the closest bed I can find and sleep it off here. Afterwards, I can drive home to my condo and start living a civilian life again.”

  “I sleep a lot in my hideaway, but I use a rope to tie myself in so I won’t roll off the platform and find myself falling a hundred feet to the ground below,” she replied drily.

  He pushed open another door, signed her name on a roster, and gave her an entry card to a small apartment. “You always were smart,” he said, giving her a look of praise. “It’s not the best way to sleep, but at least you’re safer that way.”

  She followed him down another carpeted corridor and found apartment seven. She swiped the card and the pocket door whooshed open. “Nice,” she murmured, following the walnut wood floor to the living room and kitchen. “Small but cozy. I like it. Kind of reminds me of a nest—warm, safe, and comfy.”

  Closing the door, Ram said, “Our employees like this option and I think Tal is going to have more built as we continue to expand. Let me give you the general layout and then I’ll leave you alone.”

  She flashed him a look of gratitude. “I appreciate that you’re helping me. You’re probably just about as tired as I am.” Ali needed to offer him that olive branch after all Ram had done to help acclimate her. Sure, he was the leader of this op and it was his job, but the look he gave her, a clearly appreciative one, made her feel good. This was the kind of relationship she’d always wanted with him.

  As he showed her around, her mind and heart were elsewhere. What had happened to Ram in those three intervening years to make him grow up, become mature and more adult than the defensive adolescent he had been on the team? She was dying to ask him, but Ali didn’t feel they were on stable enough ground yet. She felt grubby and desperate for a hot bath and a bed. There was time enough later to pursue her questions about Ram’s personality change.

  Ram quickly showed her the stocked fridge and the location of everything else she might need. As he circled back to the pocket door, he said, “Sleep in tomorrow. We’re wheels up at 1500.”

  “Thanks for everything,” she said, standing near the foyer.

  He pulled a business card from the pocket of his well-worn jeans. “My cell number is on there. If you need anything, just call me, okay?”

  Their fingertips met and Ali tried to ignore the heat stealing up into them. How badly she wanted to touch this man. But how? Instead, she said, “Thanks, Torres. Where do I find you if I sleep in? Will you be at your office tomorrow morning?”

  “Yes. Catch me there.”

  *

  Hours later, Ram lay naked, his body moist, heat radiating from his skin after the long, hot shower he’d taken at his condo minutes before. Mazzie was home with him and asleep on her doggie bed out in the kitchen—she preferred the warmth it provided during the winter months. It was nearly 2200 and he hoped that Ali had already fallen into a deep, healing sleep. He stared up at the ceiling, the fan moving sluggishly around and around, sending cooling breezes across his body, drying him off.

  Ali.

  He hadn’t realized just how much she had affected his whole damn life until today. He’d actively fought his desire for her when she had joined Lockwood’s team. She was taboo. Off limits. Not to be touched. Not to be chased or even flirted with under any circumstance. No intimacy could ever be shown, because an intimate relationship would damage the dynamic of their team, and Ram would never jeopardize the men’s lives to pursue his personal desires.

  Today, he’d quickly aborted a strong sexual reaction to Ali. She’d have spotted that erection in a heartbeat. He wondered how she’d react if she discovered that he’d carried a special photograph of her for years in his wallet. It was his little secret and he often felt ashamed because of his powerful attraction to her as a woman, not just as a team member. Was he some kind of pervert? That brought a grimace to his mouth. What he felt for Ali he’d never felt for another woman. She was one of a kind—his kind. But how could he convince her of his loyalty and trust toward her? He’d broken their trust years ago and now he felt like a jigsaw puzzler trying to find the pieces to put it back together again. Oh, he knew Ali trusted him in combat, but he really wanted to offer her now was intimacy between them—and it was far more than just sex. She filled a hollowed out part of him, and he needed to find out if she felt anything for him other than distrust.

  What had spun him around was that his body wanted her just as powerfully today as when they had been team members. This, after three years! Jesus, he was certifiable! No other woman he’d ever bedded had taken a hold of his heart—his soul—as Ali had. They’d never even touched one another until their embrace earlier today at the airport. They’d certainly never kissed. Nothing.

  And she seemed to want absolutely nothing to do with him. Was he crazy? Was he so desperate to find a woman he could settle down with that he had chosen the one woman who would tell him to take a hike?

  The truth was, Ram was damned lonely. He avoided his parents in Nogales, Mexico, like the plague—between his ex-prostitute mother and his pimp father, his family sickened him. Now, he understood why some children divorced their parents. Fortunately, as a black-ops member, he could put great distances between them and himself, often disappearing for years.

  He never wanted to step foot in that city again. It was a border town rife with all kinds of sub-level human beings, among them, his parents. And damned if he was going to be anything like them! In fact, his sordid upbringing had spurred him to excel at everything he did on his own, to better himself, to never become a bottom feeder like they were.

  The Navy SEALs rewarded people like him, and he’d loved his time with them, but his knee joints, after six years of heavy duty use, were becoming iffy. Ram wanted a pair of legs to walk around on for the rest of his life, so he’d left when his enlistment was up.

  Getting a job with Artemis had allowed him to choose the type of ops he wanted to go on, and this op to rescue four kidnapped women was one of them. He normally didn’t take ops that involved excessive exercise or violence, preferring to be a spotter, a watcher, undercover and calling in the intel. Those roles didn’t demand much of him physically. But this job would. He was glad he continued to jog daily, using the Artemis gym—the best he’d ever seen—so he could stay in top shape.

  His mind wandered back to Aliyana. He gave a low groan, liking the way her name rolled off his tongue. It was a musical name, one that made him relax and sigh with satisfaction. She did that for him, whether she knew it or not. Of course, Ram knew she’d scoff at him if he owned up to it, thanks to their fractious past.

  Seeing her again had brought up a loneliness that reminded him that time was passing him by and that he secretly longed to find the right woman and settle down with her. He wanted a family. He
swore he would have one or two children, and each one would be loved and hugged, shown that they were wanted by both parents and supported by them as they grew up. Not shoved away in a small hotel room and forgotten.

  Ram wanted to rewrite his family beginnings and start all over again, revising his story. He’d make a far different one for his wife and children. He knew finding the right woman was the key, and when he’d first met Ali, God help him, he’d known she was the one. He knew it moments after that first unforgettable meeting at the SEAL HQ—and he’d savagely stuffed his reaction to her.

  Only, something had gone terribly wrong, and things unraveled quickly between them. She’d once called him a sourpuss to his face, adding that he was a dark cloud that rained on everyone’s parade. Why couldn’t he lighten up? Why couldn’t he be one of them, instead of standing apart from them scowling, always the loner?

  Yeah, that was true, he supposed, but her observations had scarred him deeply. Actually, Ram had known there was something wrong within him. He was broken in ways most people never were and now, someone else had recognized it in him, too. The older he got and the more he saw life and the world, the surer he was that it all went back to his toxic family. He felt like a fish out of water, an alien from another world. He’d never fit completely into life on this earth because he just wasn’t normal.

  Cursing softly, Ram slowly sat up, dangling his legs over the king-size bed, scowling into the darkness. Why did he still hope he could forge something healthy and positive between himself and Ali? And why did it seem like a dream that could never come true?

  He’d come a long way, though. Today, all his friends were at Artemis and treated him like a member of their big, sloppy, loving family. Since working here, he’d changed for the better. Artemis had been a healing ground for Ram. Here, he was respected, looked up to as a Senior Mission Analyst, and people genuinely liked him.

  He’d started to blossom here, little by little. Now, he could joke with others, laugh, and hug back when hugged. This was a touchy-feely lot compared to the SEAL community, where people didn’t touch each other much. But the team spirit between members on a mission was just like when he’d been a SEAL. That was, of course, thanks to the man who ran Mission Planning at Artemis, Wyatt Lockwood. He had been a highly respected SEAL, and Ram had felt safe enough to open up here in this familial environment.

  He was grateful to be working for a company that paid higher wages than any other security company in the world. Staff members had the latest in hardware, gadgets, and software. This place rocked, and he was happy to be a part of something that was changing the world for the better, one mission at a time.

  Now, Ali Montero had catapulted back into his life and Ram once again felt tentative, unsure, and wary. He’d seen some positive shifts in her reactions toward him and wondered if they were real, or if she was putting on a game face while the team went off to rescue her sister and the other three women. Ram didn’t know, but he wished to hell he did.

  A plan began to develop. Lying down again, hands behind his head, Ram closed his eyes, allowing all the “what-ifs” to emerge. He didn’t have much time to somehow remold his connection with Ali. Once they were on the mission, the focus would become narrow and changed. Plus, it was going to be a level-one op, which meant people could die.

  Just thinking about that made him very uneasy. Somehow, some way, he had to protect Ali without being obvious. He vowed he would keep her safe, whatever it took, come hell or high water.

  CHAPTER 16

  Ram caught sight of Ali down in the cafeteria at 0900 the next morning. He’d just arrived at work and had wandered into the room where many of the employees were just finishing up their breakfasts and starting their work day. And there she was, wearing a pair of jeans with a long-sleeved, pink t-shirt, covered by a lightweight, white denim jacket. Her hair was loose and she looked beautiful. How he longed to slide his fingers through those strong, silky black strands.

  Tamping down his personal needs, Ram noticed that Ali had a huge plate of eggs and bacon with salsa on the side, and a short stack of pancakes. She was sitting by herself in a corner, and he felt for her. He was alone, too, and felt it even more keenly with her in the vicinity. It wasn’t Ali’s fault, it was his weakness and immaturity that had created the chasm between them.

  He ambled over to the coffee area, grabbed a mug of strong, black Ethiopian brew and headed her way. He made sure she saw him coming, never approaching her from the rear as it would scare the hell out of her. He felt Ali sense him as he moved casually in her direction. She was ever the sniper, with strong intuition about anything approaching her before she could see it.

  When she lifted her chin, sensing him with her invisible all-terrain radar, he saw her golden eyes grow warm with welcome. She wore no makeup, her mouth one of the most delicious parts of her strong, beautiful body.

  “Can I drop by and say good morning?” he asked teasingly as he came to a halt at her table. Her firm skin was less tight across her high cheekbones and Ram saw fewer shadows beneath her eyes. She must have gotten some decent sleep, and for that, Ram was relieved.

  “Sure,” she murmured between bites, “have a seat.”

  He sat opposite her and enjoyed seeing her eat with such relish. Ops people tucked a lot of carbs away when they knew they were going out on a mission. Carbs, once ingested, converted to sugar and were extra energy for operators should they need it. “Looks like you got some shut-eye,” he murmured, sipping his coffee.

  “I did. I didn’t think I would, but after a hot, soaking bath, I crawled into that bed and died.”

  “Let’s use a word other than ‘died,’ okay?” he requested, trying to sound slightly amused about it. She licked her lower lip and his body went on alert. Damn. There was nothing that Ali did that wasn’t read as sensual or sexual by his hormone-ridden body. He cupped his hands around the mug, waiting for her to swallow the eggs.

  “You’re right,” she agreed a moment later, picking up her coffee, sipping it. “I had a deep, dream-free sleep. It was incredible.” She looked around the cafeteria. “I think it’s the vibe here at Artemis. It feels warm and fuzzy to me, a homey kind of atmosphere. The kind you can snuggle into and feel surrounded by caring people. A big bird’s nest, if you will.”

  “You’re right on all counts,” he told her. “That’s your intuition working again.”

  “Really?”

  He smiled a little. “Yeah, Artemis is run by Delos Charities. They, in turn, are supported by Turkish, Greek, and American families, all related by blood. Delos Shipping is the largest container-ship company in the world. Tal Culver-Lockwood once told me that the combined families are worth a hundred-billion dollars.”

  Whistling, Ali said, “Wow, that’s incredible! When we were in the armory yesterday, I kept observing how this place was state-of-the-art and that no expense had been spared. Everything was top of the line.”

  “It’s that way because the families can afford to buy the best.”

  “And how long have you been working here?”

  “Six months.” He saw her glorious golden eyes widen incrementally as she stared at him for a moment, as if his answer meant something important to her.

  Ram wanted to ask what she was thinking, but he didn’t. Obviously, something he’d said had triggered something within her. Was it good or bad? Most likely bad, he thought sadly. If only they could erase their previous time together and start all over.

  “And what’s your job here?” She spooned more eggs into her mouth and then slathered her pancakes with a healthy layer of mango jam.

  “I’m a Senior Mission Analyst for Mexico,” he said. “That means I work in Mission Planning with Wyatt. We create the missions, evaluate the software he’s created for a mission, look at the angles and danger, as well as a lot of other factors, then put it together in the safest way possible for all involved.”

  “Tell me something. Wyatt referred to you as ‘bullheaded,’ sometimes . . . ”
she shared a quick grin with him before eating the pancakes she’d just cut into. She saw Ram react to her smile. Granted, she rarely smiled around him, but she wanted to continue on this rickety trial-and-error approach to put them in a more positive spin with one another. She saw appreciation in his eyes for her smile, and something inside her began to melt.

  He laughed. “Yeah, Wyatt makes no bones about me being like that, sometimes. I wear it as a badge of honor. The Mission Analysts were all hired by Wyatt. He wants to take advantage of the depth of our combat experience. We often sit around those tables tearing a rough draft for a mission apart and then putting it back together again. So far, in the six months I’ve been here, we haven’t lost anyone on a mission. I’d like to think it’s because our team makes it the safest op possible for those of us involved. Get the job done, then bring our people home safe and sound. And maybe,” he said with a shrug, “being bullheaded at times in some of those meetings has saved someone’s life.”

  Ali gave him an intense, assessing look. What had he said that was making her react like this? Ram had his own intuition, which was just as powerful as hers, but in a different way. His skillset was in reading someone’s micro-expressions, their body language, listening to the tone of their voice, and putting it all together. Whatever he’d said seemed positive because for a split second, he saw something akin to satisfaction in her eyes—and then it was gone.

  But it had been there. Her smile had warmed him as nothing else had so far. It was like a cherished gift, and it gave him the courage to probe a little.

  “Okay now, why give me that look? What did I just say that got your attention?” He held his breath for a moment, knowing that Ali usually combusted on such questions from him—but she gave him another thoughtful look, instead.