Shifting Darkness

by Kate Wendley

  With that thought large in his mind, he fell asleep on the way home and had to be practically dragged to bed, but not because he was too weak to walk. He’d just used his muscles in ways he’d never done before last night. Running for hours in that foreign cat body made him damn exhausted, and for once he loved the feel of it.

  **

  Penny heard from Charlotte that Vince was finally home again, but sleeping off his shift. She headed over right after she got off work, excited for him and their new life together.

  He was already heading towards her as she rounded the corner to his place, and she had to restrain herself from jumping into his arms. “Hey kit cat. Where are you going?”

  He gave her a confused look and didn’t make any moves to pull her into his arms like he had while he was sick with half a cat in him. He also didn’t look all that happy to see her. “Out. What’s up?”

  She stared at him in shock and barely mumbled out, “What’s up? But I thought…” He stood miles away from her, seeming even more confused than before.

  “You thought what?”

  He acted like she was no one to him, and maybe she wasn’t. Maybe now that he was healed he was done with her and moving on to the type of women he preferred. Smarter, nicer, more beautiful women. Women he felt like he could share himself with, and even start a life and a family with.

  Her heart felt like someone stuck a bunch of rusty nails in it, but she stiffened her spine and tried to clamp down on her emotions. She was obviously no one to him anymore, even after she’d spilled her guts to him, maybe because she spilled her guts to him, so she’d be damned if she was going to let him see he’d upset her. Never again.

  “Forget it. My mistake. Looks like I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” She abruptly turned on her heel and had to force herself to walk home at a normal speed, hoping, but also not hoping to have him grab her by the arm and pull her around to kiss the life out of her.

  She kept walking, and when she finally admitted to herself that he wasn’t coming after her, she decided to head down to the club for a Harvey Wallbanger. If ever she needed a drink it was now, and maybe old Chester would have some advice for her, too.

  **

  Vince watched helplessly as Penny stormed away. Ever since he’d woken up today he felt like he had an alien inside him, regulating every move he made, and he was fighting just to keep control over himself.

  Except the alien was his jaguar, and his cat was way more suave and coordinated than he’d ever been. If only it didn’t feel so creepy to have a stranger inside him.

  He stared at the cream colored walls and light gray carpet of the hallway, the scent of Penny’s fury and anger like a cloud of fog in front of him. He’d been waiting to make things right with her until he was actually healed, and now he had no idea if things inside himself would ever be right. He thought he should feel awesome that he’d finally shifted into his cat, but after having a little time to absorb his situation, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now. Did everyone feel like they had some random person living in their body, ready to take them over in the blink of an eye?

  He didn’t want Penny to see him like this, especially not now when he felt like he needed to figure out who he was again. Before he ever came to Brookhaven he thought he was just a hybrid and spent years learning to live with it. Then suddenly, bam, he was actually handicapped. Now he was supposedly normal, if there was such a thing for a shifter.

  He wanted to be better than that for the woman he loved. He wanted to be in control of himself and not burden her with his problems, but the sight of her stomping away made him want to run after her and wrap himself around her body and never let go.

  He waited a few minutes before he had to go down the same hall, just to be sure his new alien alter ego didn’t take him over and go tackle her. And even when he thought he was ready, he had to concentrate to get the hang of how smooth and unpredictable his movements were. Weirdly enough, that’s how he used to feel before he ‘healed’, except now he wasn’t running into anything and hadn’t been shaky even once since he shifted. It was as if a smooth, guardian angel lived inside him now.

  A guardian angel with raging hormones. He still wanted to run after his sharp tongued, punk rock dream girl, and if he thought hard enough about it, he could probably pick out her scent and follow her wherever she’d gone. He’d never had that sensitive of a nose before, but she was his and he wanted to lick her and bite her and do all kinds of other private things that they should be doing together right now.

  But that’s not how things worked in real life. In real life he’d hurt her feelings by keeping things from her, and he wasn’t even ready to admit some of those things to himself yet. So he put her out of mind and got his butt moving because his dad, Zach and Ed were waiting to take him out again and give him lessons on how to control his new abilities.

  **

  Chester’s old guy advice was crap.

  “Ah Penny. What do I know? I’m an old man who never married.”

  She growled to herself and snappily asked, “Well, why didn’t you ever marry?”

  He cocked an eyebrow and actually looked irritated at the question. “Women want too much. All their questions, and feelings, and they want to be taken care of. Bah!” He shook his head as if he were reliving something from his past, then started cleaning the taps.

  So she wallowed in self-pity by herself, Chester now too distracted to even remember she ordered a drink. She looked around the club and people watched for a time, but the sight of couples hanging out with each other irritated her, even if they didn’t all seem happy together.

  She stilled when she realized Anthony and Kaia were sitting in the far back of the club. Anthony held Kaia close again tonight, just like that night at Vince’s. Was he still restraining her from going after a shifter, or was he just that in love with her that he couldn’t keep his hands off her? Depending on the answer, it was either kind of creepy, or sickeningly sweet.

  Her conscience slapped her upside the head. Anthony went out to that cabin that night to save Penny’s stupid butt, and Kaia was the one who’d had the premonition that she was even in trouble, and here she was still thinking vampire stuff was creepy. Well, maybe it was, but shifting into an animal wasn’t exactly non-gross either.

  It felt weird to think she could’ve been killed out at the cabin by those crazy werewolves, and even Vince could’ve died as everyone tried to figure out how to help him shift into his cat. Life felt more delicate than she ever realized it was, or maybe she was feeling too vulnerable tonight.

  Fuck it. Weirdos should stick together, so she got off her ass and waltzed over to Anthony and Kaia before she lost her nerve.

  **

  “You’re volunteering to be a regular feeding partner?” Anthony looked surprised.

  “Yeah. I mean, only for certain people, if that’s ok.” Kaia’s eyes were glued to her, and even though it was still kind of creeping her out, at least she wasn’t lunging for her.

  Her voice sounded froggy and like she hadn’t used it much lately when she said, “Thank you for your help during my turning. Anthony said you set up cameras and kept your eye on things that night. I appreciate you watching out for me even though you don’t know me.”

  She put her hand out and Penny hesitated before shaking it. Her hand was just as cold as Anthony’s had been when he touched her the other night, but Kaia was also lightly trembling as she seemed like she was trying to not grip her too hard.

  “No problem. I hear you’re the one that sounded the alarm on my kidnapping so I suppose I should thank you.”

  Kaia flinched and Penny felt bad, though she wasn’t sure why. She awkwardly said, “So… are you getting used to being a vampire?”

  Her expression changed to weariness, though with a faint smile. “That depends on what getting used to it means.”

  Penny took a step back and looked her over. “Well, for starters, you were human before. You probably h
ave more strength now, right?”

  Kaia nodded, thoughtfulness in her eyes.

  “And your senses should be stronger, right?” She looked to Anthony to confirm that, because she actually had no idea if vampire senses were different than shifters. He gave a head bob in acknowledgement.

  Penny pulled up a chair to sit with them both, thankful for the distraction of this strange conversation. “So what do you sense?”

  Kaia looked hesitant to speak.

  “Come on. You can tell me. What do you sense?”

  “You’re mad. And upset.”

  Penny flinched and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. “Yeah. That’s not news.”

  Kaia kept her eyes on her as she swallowed and said with a frown, “I feel your emotions, everyone’s emotions, like I’ve never been able to before. It’s like a… scent in the air.” Her eyes went far away then, looking around in wonder, then straight back at Penny.

  When her gaze wandered to Penny’s neck, she felt like the food that she probably was to her. “You hungry?”

  Shame washed over Kaia’s face, and Anthony hugged her closer. She looked away and quietly said, “I’m trying to control it.”

  Anthony just as quietly whispered in her ear, “And you’re doing a fine job. Your transformation is coming along beautifully my sweet.”

  The hopeful look Kaia gave Anthony made Penny’s heart feel just a tiny bit better about her own grief, because at least she didn’t have to also deal with figuring out how to be a new person. She just needed to figure out how to not get sucker punched by men.

  She stepped closer and put her wrist out. “Here. If you’re hungry, I mean.”

  Both Anthony and Kaia locked eyes on her and she froze. “Did I do something wrong?”

  Anthony leaned around Kaia so he could see her better. “My sweet? Do you feel ready to try to take just a little?”

  She stared at him, looking like this was the biggest decision she’d ever had to make in her life. And after way too long deliberating, she finally turned back to Penny and slowly reached out.

  Her hand on Penny’s wrist trembled, just like Vince’s sometimes did, and it made her heart hurt all over again. Kaia went still.

  “What’s wrong?” Her voice sounded stronger this time, more sure of herself.

  “Nothing.” She pressed her wrist closer, or tried to, but Kaia’s grip on her was immovable.

  She more quietly said, “I don’t smell Vince very strongly on you.”

  Penny scowled and tried to pull away. Kaia let her go, a sad look in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  She raged inside her own head, but said, “Aw crap. It’s not your fault. I’m just stupid when it comes to men.”

  Kaia chuckled sympathetically, and Penny finally relaxed.

  Chapter 36

  The glowing red numbers on his bedside clock said it was just after midnight. Vince tossed and turned, his animal restless inside him. He’d learned from his dad, Zach and Ed that it was a normal part of being a shifter, and they swore he’d get used to feeling his cat inside him, but right now it was nothing but weird and awkward.

  He sighed in frustration. He was too old to be feeling weird in his own skin. It was another reason he wasn’t good enough for Penny, but damn her scent was driving him crazy right now. It didn’t make sense, though. Why did he smell her so strongly? It had to be his imagination, or else maybe her scent was clinging to some clothes somewhere in his room. But would it still be lingering from days ago, the last time he’d really been close to her?

  Maybe. He had no idea how sensitive his senses were now. Everything had changed for him.

  He flipped over in bed and sniffed again. Damn he missed her. He missed her mouthiness, her sweet ass, and those hypnotic eyes. Her everything. He wanted to wrap himself around her and confess his soul while she spooned into him and he breathed her in.

  But that would be a long time coming, or maybe it would never happen if he didn’t figure out a way to get control over himself. He drifted off to sleep thinking about her nuzzled beside him…

  **

  His head was foggy but he had to see her. He pounded on her door, then froze in barely restrained need at the sight of all her sexiness when she actually appeared.

  Her irritation and messy bedhead brought forth a low growl deep in his chest. She was his.

  She snapped, “What?”

  He grabbed her and kissed her, swiveling them around and pulling her back inside her place.

  She shoved him away, though. “Stop it! Get your hands off me!”

  Her words made no sense because his senses told him she wanted him, so he grabbed her up into his arms again. Or at least tried to. Somehow she ended up flipping him over her shoulder and onto his back.

  And then the fog cleared from his head. He rolled over onto his stomach, confused about how the hell he’d even gotten here, but was so turned on by her.

  “Vince! What the hell are you doing here?”

  He slowly raised up to his hands and knees. “Oh my God, Penny. You have to teach me how you just did that.”

  She screamed in frustration. “You’re being such an asshole! Leave! Now!”

  A concerned voice and an unfamiliar face appeared in her open doorway. “Hello? Everything ok in here?”

  Vince locked eyes with Penny. “I need to talk to you. I’m sorry for all this but I need to talk, and now would be better than later.”

  She threw her arms in the air and growled out loud again, but shooed her worried neighbor away before closing the door to give them some privacy.

  “You have two minutes before I call security.”

  “Ok, ok. Look, I’m sorry for what just happened. I honestly don’t even remember coming over here tonight. My cat… it’s driving me crazy. For real. I’m having a hell of a time keeping all this straight in my head and figuring out how I’m supposed to act now, but one thing I know for sure is that I miss you and I want to be with you.”

  She scowled. “And?”

  He stared at her. And what? What did that mean? “And… I want to make up.”

  She scoffed and turned back around, reaching for her door handle.

  “Wait! Come on! I love you Penny!”

  “That’s nice.”

  “That’s nice? Are you for real?”

  Her chest puffed up and she took two large strides towards him with her finger pointing straight at his chest. “I don’t believe anything you say anymore Vince. You’ve said lots of things, even made me believe you cared about me, but you were actually keeping everything big in your life a secret. That tells me you don’t want to get too close, so excuse me if I don’t trust you anymore.”

  A sharp pain spiked in his head and he fisted his hands to his temples as the craziness inside him rattled around. When the throbbing calmed down, he sat down and focused on Penny again.

  “I’m sorry. For everything. I thought all my problems would go away once I finally healed and could shift into my cat, but it’s like living with an alien inside me now. I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be anymore.” As if he ever really did.

  The anger in the air was cooling off, but Penny still didn’t look all that happy with him. She finally sat down, though, on the arm of her couch, which forced him to look up at her. It made him anxious to have to raise his eyes to her because it gave him a feeling of inferiority. It felt like a challenge and he had to force himself to look away. It was yet another wereanimal thing he didn’t understand how to deal with.

  “I didn’t keep things from you because I don’t want to be close to you. I kept things from you that I didn’t even want to deal with myself.” He scoffed and looked around the room, then back at this woman that he just wanted to wrap his arms around and stop talking about things that he had no control over.

  “I’ve never been one of you guys, Penny. I didn’t even know I was supposed to be a shifter until I came here and everything went to hell. I though
t I was part shifter. A hybrid. But then I saw the doctor.” He felt vulnerable telling her all this, but he supposed it was time, and she’d either accept him or not.

  “So I found out I was actually handicapped, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell you that. I didn’t even want to hear it, so how could I tell it to the woman I was falling for?”

  She frowned but didn’t say anything.

  “And then my dad… I learned about him at the exact same time. I’d never even seen a picture of him, knew his name, nothing. And suddenly everyone knew, and then here he is, just hanging around all the time, and I have no idea if he’s supposed to be a good guy or not. I mean, he maybe kills babies for a living.” He let his head fall back and he looked at the ceiling as he said, “Welcome to my screwed up life. And now I have an alien living in my head that’s supposed to be my cat or something. I thought everything would be magically better once I was finally able to shift, but it’s still the same old confusing bullshit.” He looked her in the eye. “I couldn’t bring all that into a relationship with you. I wanted to just figure it out and deal with it first, then fix things with you once everything was good again.”

  Penny’s voice rose in anger. “You are such a man! You just can’t ask for help, can you? Well tough luck buddy because I did help you. When you were out of it all day before you finally shifted into your cat. But I guess you don’t remember.”

  He slowly shook his head in confusion. “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember anything between the time I went home sick after Kaia forced me to drink vampire blood, and then waking up naked after I guess I shifted into my cat. Everything in between is a blank.”

  Now instead of anger in the air, all he felt was pain.

  “Is that why you’re so hurt right now? Because I don’t remember?”

  Her eyes went wide and he could hear her heart start to hammer in her chest. But this time she didn’t yell. This time the pain in her voice made his own heart ache. “You acted like I was yours that day, even though you couldn’t talk, and then you finally shifted and…” She growled in frustration and looked away.