The Saturday Boy

by David Fleming

  A knock at the door made me jump.

  “Derek?”

  It was Aunt Josie. I didn’t say anything because I was still kinda mad. She knocked again only this time it was louder. I still didn’t say anything. It didn’t feel right not answering her, though. It felt rude and a little bit mean.

  “Derek, sweetie? I’m sorry I barked at you.”

  “You didn’t bark at me.”

  “Yes, I did and I’m sorry.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Um… thank you for saying sorry?”

  “You’re welcome,” she said.

  It was quiet for a minute after that. I could picture her in the hallway with one hand on the door, thinking of what to say next.

  “Derek?”

  “Yes?”

  “Can I come in?”

  I got up from my chair and went to the door and opened it. Aunt Josie came in and bent down and gave me a hug. She squeezed me tight and her hair tickled my nose. It was blonde this time. So blonde it was almost white.

  “You’re my boo and I want you to know that I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

  “Okay.”

  Aunt Josie put her hands on my shoulders, looked me right in the eyes, and brushed the hair out of my face with her fingers. Her face was serious.

  “Honestly,” she said. “No. Matter. What.”

  “Right. Gotcha.”

  I nodded, hoping she’d let me go because I could smell garlic bread and garlic bread meant spaghetti and spaghetti was just about my favorite food in the whole universe. My stomach growled.

  “What was that?”

  “My stomach,” I said.

  “That was your stomach?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “You’re not hiding a lion under your bed?”

  “It was my stomach.”

  “Then we’d better put some food in it before it escapes and eats us all.”

  I pictured my stomach bursting out of my body. It was all pink and red and slimy and had little arms and legs and a big mouth full of fangs. I imagined it chasing Budgie down the street, snapping at his ankles and growling all the way.

  8

  THE SMELL OF COFFEE woke me up. I reached over and lifted the blind a little and peeked out. The sun was just starting to come up and the world outside the window was full of shadows. I got out of bed and went to my closet and got my slippers and a hoodie sweatshirt and went downstairs to the kitchen.

  Mom stood at the counter waiting for the coffeemaker to beep. She was wearing her purple robe and a pair of Dad’s slippers. Her hair was wild. I think she may have still been asleep, which would have been something because you could totally hear Aunt Josie snoring in the other room and it was pretty loud.

  “Hey, Mom!”

  “Hm?”

  Mom looked over at me. Her eyes were half-shut and there were dark circles under them.

  “Oh! Hi, Piggy. How’d you sleep?”

  Her voice was all mumbly but I knew what she said. She’d been saying the exact same thing to me every morning for as long as I could remember.

  “Okay, I think,” I said. “How did you sleep?”

  “Hm?”

  “How did you sleep?”

  “Not well, sweetie. Not well at all.”

  “Maybe you could take a nap later,” I said.

  She smiled a little—the kind where it’s not really a smile at all.

  “Maybe.”

  The coffeemaker beeped and Mom got a mug from the drying rack and poured coffee into it. She took it to the table and sat down. I stood there in my slippers and sweatshirt and waited for something else to happen. When it didn’t I grabbed the last of the frozen waffles from the freezer and stuck them in the toaster oven and turned it on.

  “Breakfast! You need breakfast,” Mom exclaimed suddenly. She got up out of her chair so fast she almost spilled her coffee. “I can’t believe I forgot! I’m the worst mother in the world.”

  “I don’t know, Mom. The world’s a pretty big place.”

  “Here, what can I get for you? Waffles? Let me get you some waffles.”

  She opened the freezer and moved some things around. A bag of frozen chicken nuggets fell out and landed on her foot.

  “Dammit! I’m so sorry about this, honey. It’s just… I’ve been—where the hell are the waffles already?”

  “They’re in the toaster. Mom, it’s okay.”

  “It’s not,” she said. “It’s really not.”

  “They’re just waffles.”

  “Annie? What’s going on?” Aunt Josie stood in the doorway, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

  Mom picked up the bag of chicken nuggets and put it back in the freezer and shut the door. Then she leaned her forehead against it and closed her eyes.

  “I forgot to fix breakfast for Derek,” she said.

  “Come on. Come sit down. Have some coffee,” said Aunt Josie.

  She took Mom’s arm and sat her down and put the coffee in front of her. Then she sat down also. She looked worried. I wondered if there might be something else going on besides waffles but I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t think it was a good time to ask. Instead I got a plate from the cabinet and when my waffles were ready I put peanut butter and Marshmallow Fluff on them and took them into the living room to eat in front of cartoons. A little while later I thought I heard my mom cry out. A little while after that I smelled bacon.

  Mom came in while I was watching Dinoboy. She took the quilt from the back of the couch and unfolded it so it covered both of us. Then she curled up against me with her head on my shoulder and we watched TV for a few minutes like that without saying anything.

  “Dinoboy, eh?”

  “Yup.”

  “And what does he do?”

  “Oh, Mom, Dinoboy’s so cool! He’s this kid who can transform into any dinosaur! He can even be like part one kind and part another like a pterodactyl with the claws of a Therazinosaurus! Plus, did you know the Therazinosaurus was actually an herbivore? He used his claws to pull the leaves down from the trees and for self-defense. I think the Therazinosaurus is my favorite dinosaur or maybe the Compsognathus. He was only the size of a chicken! What’s your favorite dinosaur, Mom? Mom?”

  But she was asleep so I ended up watching the rest of Dinoboy with her leaned up against me. She got heavy after a while and I couldn’t really feel my arm anymore but I was afraid to move it because I didn’t want to wake her and it wasn’t until a rerun of Ghost Patrol that she kinda rolled over a little and I was able to get out.

  The rest of the morning went by okay. I went to my room and read comics for a while and then I got dressed and put on my jacket and played outside until I got cold. Mom was just getting off the phone when I came into the kitchen.

  “Around 1:30 then? And you’re sure it’s okay?” she asked. “Great! Thanks, Helen!”

  I didn’t like the sound of that. Helen was Budgie’s mom’s name.

  “Mom?”

  “Hey, Piggy! Hungry for lunch?”

  She got bread from the drawer and then opened the fridge and found some ham and cheese and mustard and took them out and put them all on the counter. Then she squirted a blob of mustard on a slice of bread and spread it around with a knife.

  “Could you do me a favor and smell the ham?” she asked.

  “Smell the—why?”

  “To make sure it’s still good. Oh, never mind. I’ll do it.”

  She took a slice and held it to her nose and made a face. Then she sniffed it again, shrugged, and put it down on the bread.

  “Who was that on the phone?” I asked.

  “Budgie’s mom,” she said. “And listen, before you freak out—I’m going out with your aunt Josie this afternoon. I called Budgie’s mom to see if it would be okay if you went over there to play for a while.”

  My heart tumbled into my stomach. Play with Budgie? Budgie? The Dr. Mayhem to my Zeroman? Was she out of her mind?

>   “You want me to play with Budgie?”

  “Yes.”

  “But he’s my nemesis!”

  “No, he’s not. You’re too young to have a nemesis.”

  “He’s mean to me!”

  “I know, Piggy, I’m sorry,” she said. “You two used to get along so well, though. What happened?”

  “I don’t know. Now he’s only nice to me when there’s nobody else around and even then he’s not that nice. He’s just… less mean.”

  It was true. Budgie and I used to be friends. Actually, the summer his family moved to town I was the only friend he had. We did everything together—we made up these awesome superheroes, Strong Guy and Fast Guy, and ran around fighting the Forces of Evil. We read comics and played video games and watched Dinoboy together. We made up secret handshakes and were going to build a castle together and keep all the grown-ups out. It was going to be awesome.

  Then when school started he met all these other kids and we didn’t play together as much. Now we don’t play at all. Now he doesn’t like me and I don’t know why. I’ve never even done anything to him. He even said that Dinoboy was for nerds.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie,” Mom said. “I absolutely hate that he’s mean to you but it would just be the two of you. It’s only for a little while, okay? Mommy really needs to get out of the house. Please?”

  “Can I come with you?”

  “No, honey, you can’t. I’m sorry.”

  “Please?”

  “Sorry.”

  “Please!”

  “Raising your voice won’t change anything,” Mom said. “Now eat your lunch so we can get ready to go.”

  I took the sandwich and stomped over to the table. If I was a cartoon I’d have a big, black cloud over my head with lightning coming out of it. That’s how mad I was. Mom put away the ham and cheese and mustard and then stood there and watched me eat. I put the hood of my sweatshirt up.

  “Stop looking at me,” I said.

  “But you’re so handsome.”

  “Stop it.”

  “But I love you.”

  “Mo-om!”

  “Okay, okay,” she said. “Want some chips?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Mom got the potato chips from the cupboard and shook some onto my plate. I took the top slice of bread off the sandwich and put the chips on the inside. Then I replaced the bread and took a bite. A lot of sandwiches taste better with potato chips in them. Especially boring sandwiches like ham and cheese. Mom sat down across from me.

  “Have you told him to stop?” Mom asked.

  “Told who to stop what?”

  “Budgie. To stop being mean.”

  “Yes. No. Not exactly,” I said. “Even when I do tell him to stop he doesn’t.”

  Mom put her hand on my arm and looked me in the eyes. She frowned.

  “I’m sorry your friend is such a jerk, sweetie.”

  “Me too.”

  * * *

  It was weird, though, because that afternoon at his house Budgie wasn’t a jerk at all. Actually, it was just like it used to be. We played video games and drew some pictures for the Strong Guy and Fast Guy comic we were going to make. We even talked about plans for the castle. Budgie thought there should be piranhas in the moat and I thought crocodiles would be better so we invented a creature called a piranhadile and figured we’d stock the moat with a few of those bad boys.

  We started up Derek and Budgie’s Secret Secret Club again and made up a tricky new handshake that took five minutes to do. Then we hung a blanket from the top bunk so it made a fort of the bottom one. We got inside and held the new club’s first official meeting where Budgie told me that one time he peed himself at school and tried to hide it by splashing water on his pants and telling everyone the water fountain was broken and had squirted him. I told him about the play and how I had to embrace Violet and how it actually wasn’t as bad as I had thought it was going to be. I had been hanging on to that one and it felt good to finally tell someone. We sat quiet for a minute.

  “So are you boyfriend and girlfriend?” Budgie finally asked.

  “No. I don’t know. I don’t think so. Maybe.”

  “Do you think you’ll get married?”

  “Probably. Yeah.”

  “Y’wanna know something else weird?” I asked.

  “Sure,” said Budgie.

  “On Fridays her hair smells like apples.”

  “What does it smell like on other days?”

  “I don’t know. Not apples.”

  “I don’t know what’s weirder,” Budgie said. “The fact that her hair only smells like apples on Fridays or that you’ve taken the time to figure that out.”

  We talked about other stuff too for a while—the land-speed capabilities of zombies as affected by stage of decay, for example—and by the time Mom came to pick me up I didn’t want to leave.

  “Mrs. Lamb, can Derek sleep over?”

  “Yeah, Mom, can I?”

  “Some other time.”

  “But—”

  “What would you sleep in? You don’t even have a toothbrush.”

  “I’ll use my finger! Please?”

  “Yeah, and he can borrow some of my pajamas,” said Budgie.

  “It’s not a good idea,” Mom said. “Not tonight. Not on such short notice. I’m sure Budgie’s mom—”

  “She doesn’t care,” said Budgie.

  “I suppose it would be okay,” said Budgie’s mom.

  “You’re so nice to offer, Helen, but I don’t want to impose any more than I already have. Another time, maybe?”

  Budgie’s mom just stood there with her arms crossed looking at us. She was kinda smiling but not really.

  “Of course.”

  “Derek, say thank you,” Mom said.

  “What about tomorrow night?” said Budgie.

  “Yeah, tomorrow night.”

  “Tomorrow’s a school night,” said my mom and Budgie’s mom at the same time.

  “Jinx!” said me and Budgie.

  “Double jinx!” we said again.

  “Derek, say thank you to Mrs. Pratt.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Pratt,” I said. “Bye, Budgie.”

  “Yeah, bye,” he said. Then he turned around and went back upstairs.

  “Thanks again for looking after Derek,” Mom said. “If there’s anything you need, if we could ever… you know.”

  “Of course,” said Budgie’s mom. “Careful on the walk, now. Some of the stones are loose.”

  * * *

  We had leftover spaghetti for dinner that night, which was totally fine with me even though there wasn’t any garlic bread left and we had to have regular bread instead. After dinner I went up to my room and bounced around for a little while, pretending I was Fast Guy fighting crime. Then I drew a picture of the castle me and Budgie were going to build and the moat with a piranhadile in it. The castle was big and had towers that had these little windows you could shoot arrows out of. There was also a roller coaster and a half-pipe for skateboarding. I didn’t know how to skateboard and neither did Budgie but I figured by the time we got the castle built we probably would have learned.

  I was putting the final touches on the castle when Mom came in. She stood behind me for a minute, looking over my shoulder at the drawing. I had to say it was pretty cool. I’d outdone myself with this one.

  “Piranhagator?”

  “Piranhadile.”

  “Silly me,” she said. “Hey, do you have any interest in bathing tonight?”

  “Why, am I stinky?”

  “You’ve been worse,” she said. “What are those?”

  “Bumper cars.”

  “Very nice, Piggy. I think you’ve outdone yourself here.”

  “That’s what I thought!”

  “You know what, though, I need for you to get your pajamas on and get ready for bed, okay? And if you’re not going to shower you should at least wash your face. And really brush your teeth. Chewing on the toothbrush doesn�
�t count.”

  “But the toothpaste stings my tongue!”

  “No, it doesn’t.”

  “Yes, it does!”

  “Derek, I don’t know what to tell you,” Mom said. “Life can sting sometimes.”

  “Like a bee?”

  “Yes.”

  “Or a jellyfish?”

  “Yes, like a jellyfish.”

  “A box jellyfish or a man o’ war?”

  “What’s the difference?”

  “Well, a box jellyfish is deadlier even though they both have poison tentacles. And the man o’ war goes with the current and kinda floats but the box jellyfish can actually swim a little.”

  Mom looked at me and blinked a couple times. Her eyes seemed greener than normal. I smiled and nodded.

  “Just brush your teeth, wise guy,” she said. “And hop to, okay? It’s almost bedtime.”

  “Can I finish the drawing?”

  “Jammies and teeth first.”

  “But Mom—”

  “Let me finish,” she said. “Get into your pajamas and brush your teeth now and you can stay up an extra half-hour to finish the drawing or read or whatever, sound good?”

  “Can I watch TV?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’d rather you used your brain.”

  I told her I’d been using my brain all day. I told her it was impossible to build forts, draw comics and castles, and create piranhadiles without it and that it might actually appreciate a rest. She said I made a great point and that she was proud of me for being so articulate. I wasn’t sure what that meant but I didn’t want to say anything. Sometimes if you do something good by accident it’s best if you just pretend you meant to do it all along. You can always go back and figure out what it was later on.

  “So can I stay up?”

  “Aren’t you tired from playing with Budgie all afternoon?”

  “No.”

  “Pajamas and teeth first,” said Mom. “Then it’s okay.”

  I said thanks and gave her a big hug and then put on my pajamas and brushed my teeth and ran downstairs and turned on the TV just as Zeroman was starting. It was the one where Dr. Mayhem collects all these artifacts from all over the world that create a doomsday device when put together. There’s this awesome part where Zeroman fights some sharks but can’t use his knife or speargun because if he cuts the sharks it would start a feeding frenzy so he has to use underwater kung fu instead.