MC: Callahan

by L. Ann Marie

  Little Ben looks at me. “He’s good, Uncle Tiny, he wouldn’t be out there if he wasn’t.” I nod. “Our strong changed us.” I nod again. He’s right. They’re still strong but it’s different now. They were fuckin’ creepy kids at times. Now they’re almost men with different ways of showing their ‘strong’.

  I’m drawn back to the track. People are running to a kid that fell off a high ramp. I thank God it isn’t Ricky and clap when the kid stands up. It dawns on me that I love the little Badass more than I realized. When the fuck did this happen? He’s been with us and I loved him but something changed. If he got hurt I think I would hurt. I look around for him and see him practicing on ramps at the side field with Rich and Bob. My boy can ride. I watch him, not paying attention to the competition. Not only can he ride, he’s fuckin’ good. Jessie sits by me. I pull him in for a hug, telling him he did good.

  He smiles up at me. “This is not my thing.” He points at the board. He’s at twenty-one. “I only rode so Ricky would. He needed to see his strong.” All I can do is laugh. Fuckin’ kids. I hug him again, telling him he’s a good kid. He smiles like he knows. Ricky stays at fourth, but they move right into to the next event of freestyle stunts. Our team is going third and I wonder what they’re going to do this year.

  The first two teams have the crowd cheering and loud. My heart is racing again and they haven’t even started, but the first two teams were crazy, jumping and flipping sky high. They look younger too. Shit, I’m not sure I even want to watch. If I turn away now all the fuckin’ Brothers will be throwing tampons at me for the next three years.

  I take deep breaths while we wait for the music. When Van Halen starts I laugh. Fuckin’ Rich flies over a ramp, doing a full circle in the air, turning when he lands, then he’s off to the next ramp. Ricky comes next, doing the same circle, going to the other side. Once he’s out of the way Bob flies over and Rich comes from the other side. They run perfect circles, one right after the other flying and landing to the music. I’m thinking this isn’t so bad when Rich rides a circle in center and Bob jumps him, then they both run the circle and Ricky jumps and lands in the middle. My heart jumps to my throat and I gasp. Jessie puts his hand on my arm and squeezes it, letting me know he’s feeling it too. Thank Fuck. I watch the rest wincing and holding my breath, hoping for the next trick to be the last. They finally all meet in the center, stopping on a dime. Rich and Bob lift their front wheels, spinning to make a straight line so they’re all facing the crowd. The crowd cheers, screaming like crazy while I’m trying to catch my breath.

  I am never watching this fuckin’ competition again. I look down at Jessie. He’s smiling but looks like I feel; relieved it’s over. Three more teams run through, but I can’t tell you what they did. Some were twisting or spinning but none were my kid. It takes all the time for them to be finished before my heart falls back to my chest. Never again.

  Danny stands when they say they’ll start the awards in ten minutes. The teams didn’t get judged as they were riding. The Little Brothers follow him down the stairs and over to the trailer. Bob and Rich already have the bikes inside. Ricky has a huge smile on his face, taking slaps on the back from his Brothers. When I get through I hug him. “I’m never watching that again. I almost had a fuckin’ heart attack.” He laughs. I’m not kidding, but I let him have his. “You were fantastic out there. I’m proud of you, Ricky.” He squeezes me, then turns to answer little Ben. I stand back with Danny and watch him take it all in. “He scared the shit out of me.”

  Danny laughs. “The first time I saw Rich jump I felt the same way. Second jump he broke his arm. Kid went right back to the bike with the cast on and jumped again and again, figuring out what he did wrong. It was crazy, but I stopped holding my breath that day. Now I enjoy watching him. Some of the shit he does is fuckin’ crazy, but he rides smart.” I nod, but I’m not so sure I’m up for watching that again.

  The announcer calls the riders in. We watch from the side. All but Jessie get patches for the run, then Rich, Bob, and Ricky get second place for the freestyle. The crowd is yelling, but the kids are smiling and slapping backs, happy with where they placed. Bob looks relieved and it dawns on me this was his first competition with the new leg. Putting it into perspective, they did a good fuckin’ job. I smile easy.

  The ride home is calm. Thinking about the time we had, I’m smiling. It was a good run. No one fucked with us and no one got hurt. With the exception of the boys’ black eyes, I think with a smile. With close to thirty of us riding in formation it’s an easy ride, getting us in the yard sooner than expected. Security follows us to the compound. Baxter’s Security is at the gate. We ride single file so he can see each one of us. The Prospect is giving him our names as we go through. Pres pulled in Baxter’s since both him, VP and just about all of the Officers were away.

  The tent is up for tomorrow’s potluck. Everyone peels to their houses, showing respect. It feels good to be home. Ricky parks on the side of me. The kids are swarming us before we even swing off the bikes.

  “Whoa.” He grabs the seat. “My legs feel like jello.”

  “It was the workout this morning then the long ride,” I tell him, lifting the boys one at a time for a hug. Diego waits away from everyone else. I see him smile while watching everyone hug me. When I put Sandy down I kneel down and just look at him. He smiles bigger, so I put my arms out. The little bugger runs to me, hugging me tight. I hug him tight back and hear him laugh. I look at Nancy in the doorway. “He laughed.”

  “I heard.” She walks over to us, smiling. I stand up with him still in my arms. He hasn’t stopped hugging me and I don’t want to put him down if this is where he needs to be. I bend and kiss my girl while holding him tight. He laughs again, making all of us laugh. “I’m glad you’re back. We missed you.” She turns to Ricky. “How did you do at the competition?” He pulls his two patches, showing them to her. The little boys cheer, jumping around, slapping his back.

  “Let’s get them away from the bikes before they get burnt,” I tell Nancy. She corrals them toward the door like she’s driving cattle. Ricky laughs on the side of me. Diego finally loosens his hold and looks at me. “Were you good for Nancy?”

  He signs, ‘Yes.’

  “Good job! You’re learning sign language?”

  He signs, ‘Jeremy and Sandy.’ Spelling out each name.

  “Good job, Diego. Jeremy and Sandy are doing a good job.” He nods with a big fuckin’ smile. “Every day you come see me and we’ll work on it too.”

  He signs, ‘Okay.’

  I put him down and grab my bags off the bike. He tries to carry one in but ends up dragging it. He’s a cute kid. Nancy helps him at the door, but he doesn’t let go. She drops the bag inside the threshold and lets him drag it through the kitchen.

  She shrugs at me. “He wants to help.”

  Making it up to her, I bend and kiss her again. I missed the hell out of her. “I see that. He’s doing good? No problems?” Smiling up at me, she shakes her head no. “Good.”

  “Little Ben sent video of the shootout and the competition. The kids wanted to watch it on the big screen tonight. They’ve been excited all day.”

  I’m not sure I want to watch that again. It was hard enough the first time. I nod at her so she gets something from me. I hold her hand, walking into the kitchen. “Tiny Dancer, I missed the hell out of you. Let’s find a place to sit down so I can hold you for a while.” She lets my hand go and gets beer from the fridge, then pulls me out to the back deck. I sit on the big lounge chair and she sits between my legs, leaning back on me. The kids hit the door running and are all over the place in less than a minute. “It feels good to be home, babe.” We hear a thumping from the house. I push Nancy up and run in. Diego is at the bottom of the stairs with my bag on top of him. He’s got tears but no sound. “You should have left it at the bottom, little man.” I kneel down and lift the bag off, then pick him up, holding him to my chest. He tries to take the bag again, making me chu
ckle. I grab the strap and bring it up to my room, dropping it at the door. “Let’s go find Nancy, huh. I missed holding her while I was away.”

  He signs, ‘Ok.’ Carrying him out to the back, I tell Nancy what happened.

  She checks his back, arms, and head. “You got a knot on your head Diego that had to hurt. I’m going to get something cold to put on it.” He nods, holding his head.

  I hear her on the phone as she’s walking out the door. “Thanks.” She hangs up and shows Diego the corn. “We’re going to put this on your head to make it feel better, okay?” He nods, looking scared.

  I feel his head and hold the corn over the bump. “Who was that on the phone?”

  “CJ. She’s coming over to show me how to do an incident report and take pictures. She’ll ask Diego questions about his fall. It’s just a paperwork thing.”

  She doesn’t look nervous, but fuck. Taking pictures and shit is so we don’t get blamed for beating the kid up. “Is that helping, little man?”

  He signs, ‘Yes.’

  Sandy comes over and climbs on the chair. When she’s close enough she kisses Diego on his head, making him smile. He puts his hand on her cheek. He doesn’t move it for a few seconds. She nods and climbs down, running away.

  CJ comes through the back gate and up the stairs. Sheila, Ally, and Joey follow. They fawn all over Diego, but he holds my arm, just above my cast, tight as if he’s afraid they’ll take him away. “Can you take his pictures right here?” I ask CJ. I don’t want him upset.

  She smiles. “Sure. If you could turn him so I can get his back, that would work.”

  He turns and lies on my chest. He’s such a sweet kid. I kiss the top of his head. “Good boy.”

  She lifts his shirt and winces. Shit. After she gets her pictures she asks him to turn so she can see him. He does. I hold the corn to his head so he can sign for her. “How did you get hurt, Diego?”

  He signs, ‘Bag, stairs, hard.’ She nods and looks around the yard. She pulls her phone and calls, asking for Jeremy and Jacob to come over. “It might be a little easier if we have some help.”

  Diego signs, ‘Friends.’

  CJ smiles at him. “Yes, your friends can help us.”

  Jacob and Jeremy come running through the yard and up to the deck. Jeremy climbs up and sits on my other leg. I move Diego so they both can fit. Jacob stands on the side of the chair with his hand on Diego’s arm. They look at CJ. “Diego, how did you get hurt?”

  He signs again, ‘Bag, stairs, hard.’

  “Daddy’s bag was hard to get up the stairs. I fell down and bumped on them. My head hurts now. Daddy puts corn to make it better,” Jacob says. Jeremy touches his head and gives him a small smile. He calls me Daddy. I’m surprised and look at Nancy. She has tears in her eyes.

  “Was anyone with you?” CJ asks him.

  He signs, ‘No.’ Jacob tells us he wanted to do it himself.

  “Did your daddy tell you to bring the bag up?” she asks. I roll my eyes.

  He signs, ‘No.’ And looks at Jacob.

  “He’s happy Daddy came home. He wanted to take it up and make Daddy happy. Next time Daddy goes away I want him to take me ‘cause I’m a big boy too. I can get patches like Ricky and stay in a hostel too. I can be a big boy like that.”

  I laugh and sign and say, “Hotel. We stayed in a hotel. We’re going to a hotel next weekend. It has a swim park in it. All the kids are going and you get to sleep in the hotel with us.”

  He looks up at me and I nod. “I can go to the hotel?” Jacob asks.

  Nancy laughs. “Of course, you’re one of our kids too. You get to go where we go.”

  He smiles. Jeremy and Jacob laugh. “They are yours now, this is your family. The Little Brothers will teach you where your strong is and help you when you need it just like Momma and Daddy.” Me, Nancy, and CJ just watch them. They aren’t paying attention to us anymore. “Ricky and Sandy help here. We help from our house and the Club. Jeremy can help you in school. Everyone helps everyone. We share our strong. Little Ben takes care of all of us Little Brothers.” They all laugh. He makes noise again.

  “Jeremy, why can’t Diego talk?” I ask.

  Jacob looks at me. His face screws up like he doesn’t understand and it’s ugly. “The man took it from him. He took everything from him.” Tears fall, but he keeps going. “He hurt him bad. He wouldn’t let him talk, no noise, not one sound. He, he hurts, he...” Fuck! Jeremy moves so fast, he pushes Jacob’s hand off Diego, jumps off the chair and hugs Jacob. CJ holds them both. Jacob is sobbing. He won’t let Jeremy go. I hold onto Diego, putting his head on my chest. A fuckin’ man hurt him. Nancy sits on the chair and rubs Diego’s back, with tears falling down her face. Sandy comes running and holds onto Jacob and Jeremy. They all lean on CJ. Holy shit, I have no fuckin’ idea what I’m supposed to do. I’d like to rip someone’s head off. The kids all come up the deck and sit between the chair and CJ. They’re all touching someone. Little Ben runs through the back gate with Steve jogging behind him. Holy fuck, this is getting weird. I feel calmer seeing Steve, but at the same time my heart is racing with an anxious feeling that this is going to get worse.

  Steve goes right to Jeremy and Jacob. He lifts Jacob to him, then calls Sandy and Joey while he walks through the sliders into the house, holding onto Jeremy’s hand so he follows. Nancy looks at me as she wipes tears from her eyes. CJ looks like she’s in shock.

  “You okay, CJ?” I ask, sounding gruff.

  She looks at me then Diego. “His book doesn’t have this. It was complete neglect, that’s why he’s so small. Nothing of a sexual nature. I don’t know what to do if he doesn’t speak it. I can’t have someone standing giving accounts. It has to come from him—”

  Diego grabs onto me, turning his face to my chest. He’s crying with no sound. I growl, cutting CJ off. “No, we’ll figure something else out.” I give him a squeeze. “You don’t have to do anything, little man. We take care of our own. You don’t have to do anything that hurts you. I’ll make sure of it. Yeah?” He squeezes me harder, nodding his head.

  Fuckin’ grown man hurt my little man. I want to kill him. Little Ben gets the kids off the deck and playing kickball. I sit with Diego and the women, waiting for Steve to come back out. A few minutes go by and Jacob runs through the door and into the game. Sandy comes out, smiling with Joey. She runs to Nancy and hugs her, then runs to play ball. Joey calls little Ben and goes back in telling me VP wants me too. Diego tightens his grip. “No one here will hurt you, little man. I need to see how to fix this so you don’t get hurt anymore.” I stand and plead with Nancy’s eyes to take him so he’s not sitting alone. She gets it and sits, putting her arms up for him. He panics until he sees it’s her, then he grabs around her neck and buries his face in her hair. Being fucked up, I’m thinking that’s just where I want to be. With a shake of my head, I walk through the door with little Ben on my heels.

  Steve has Jeremy at his shoulder. “Cloud’s comin’.” He doesn’t say anything else, so I wait.

  “They’re all a little off, Dad, they understood.”

  Steve looks at him and he’s visibly shaken. “I need to find out. He can’t do both.”

  Little Ben thinks for a minute. “I could get them all here. We can give him strong to get him through it.” Steve stares at him. He’s going to refuse. Little Ben stops him. “They’re too little to have this in their head, Dad, this is important.” He’s pissed.

  Steve’s eyes are flashing. “Took care of Sandy and Jacob. Need to find out what we’re dealin’ with and help the boy. Don’t give a fuck about the older right now. Boy doesn’t need that shit in his head. Need Jeremy for that!” he growls out.

  I look at little Ben, feeling bad for him. He sees helping more to forget what they heard. His dad sees helping the worst by getting the information about what happened to him. “We can talk to the boys. It may be better that they get it now, to understand and to protect too. We can’t fix that for Diego, but we could tea
ch the others what to watch out for. I think your father’s right. We need to help Diego more than anyone else right now. If all Jeremy can do is get us information so we can help him, that’s what we need.”

  He clenches his jaw but throws chin. “I’ll ask Patches to get us material.”

  Cloud walks in with Christian and Hawk. “Need Brantley and Taylor, this will hurt him.” He indicates Christian. Cloud nods at him and takes Jeremy. Christian turns right around and walks out. He knows what he can and can’t handle. Joey is leaning heavy on her hand crutches, watching with a sad smile. It’s affected her too. I’m not even sure what the kids do, but Jeremy helps people and the kids help him. I’m glad Sandy and Jacob were a priority to Steve. I don’t want them having this in their heads. They’re too little to be touched with this.

  Cloud sits. He turns Jeremy facing out. His arms wrap around him and kisses his head. Jeremy looks tired but smiles. Little Ben puts his hand on one shoulder, Joey puts hers on the other, and Steve kneels down in front of him.

  “Need what you got from Diego. Need to identify and any information you get. All of it. It’s important, lil’ ninja. Yeah?” Jeremy nods so serious. Steve turns to me. “Go with the boy. Cloud can do this.” I gladly walk out the door. I want to shield Jeremy, but I have no idea how to do that. My little ninja needs his dad for this. I hope Cloud can get it out of his head.

  * * *

  All the kids are settled and I’m sitting on the deck with Ricky, Sheila, and Nancy. I need to get to the patio, but I’ve been putting it off. Steve didn’t want to talk about what he got from Jeremy. He was pissed but looked like he aged too. I think that’s what has me stalling. I kiss Nancy and tell her I’ll try not to be too late, then tell the kids I’ll see them tomorrow as I walk out the door.