All Because of You

by Melissa Hill

  Tara didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset or even more angry. In all honesty, she just didn’t know how to feel. “But if it’s not Emma then . . . who?”

  Glenn was still shaking his head. “I can’t believe you thought that I’d do something like that with Emma. That’s sick!”

  “Well, if it’s not Emma, then who the hell is it, Glenn?” Tara repeated vehemently.

  “I was going to tell you,” he repeated, “but I just couldn’t bring myself to. Look, you’ve been in such good form since we came back from the holiday – I didn’t want to ruin things for you. And I know you’re worried about this thing with Emma too and you’ve been up and down to Castlegate a lot –”

  “Oh, so while the cat’s away, the mice will play, is it?” Tara challenged.

  He shook his head from side to side. “No, it wasn’t that. Look, I just couldn’t find the right time.”

  “Now is a good time,” she said, her tone hardening. “Or should I just scroll down through the rest of the forum?”

  “I still can’t believe you spied on me like that.”

  “It wasn’t like that. I was looking for something else and I came across the webpage. I had no idea you were a member of this website. What were you doing giving people advice like that? Were you not afraid of being found out? Jesus, Glenn, of all people you should know enough about computers to realise that you shouldn’t have let yourself stay logged in like that. Or didn’t you care whether or not you were found out? Is that it?”

  “Believe me, I didn’t know that would happen. I was sure I’d logged out last time I was in, but the cookies must have saved it and –”

  “Spare me the technical stuff, Glenn, and please tell me what the hell is going on! Who is this girl you’ve got pregnant?”

  Glenn sighed. “It’s difficult to know where to start,”

  “The beginning will be fine,” she said, trying to keep her voice even.

  He sighed deeply and took a seat on the armchair across from her.

  “Her name is . . . Abby,” he began, his eyes studying the carpet. “We met a couple of months back . . . in Egypt.”

  Tara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “In Egypt . . . while you were supposed to be on holiday with me?” she croaked.

  He nodded, ashamed. “She was taking the scubadiving course too, and she’s Irish – from Donnybrook – and over the few days going out on the boat, we sort of . . . hit it off.”

  Now Tara understood why he’d been so unconcerned about her going off to the pyramids with Natalie. In fact, he’d practically insisted she go! And why not – when it would free him up to go off and chase some girl! How could he? How could he deceive her like that? Glenn had never been the secretive type: they had always been straight up with one another.

  Or so she’d thought.

  “So, let me get this straight. All those times I stayed around the pool and you were supposed to be going off on the boat, you were actually off with some girl?”

  “No, I was going off on the boat. I did take the course. She was taking it too.”

  “I see – very convenient, wasn’t it?”

  Glenn wouldn’t look at her. “I’m sorry – it just happened.”

  “And now she’s pregnant,” Tara stated acidly. “When did this happen? On some plastic sun-lounger in Egypt, or did you continue seeing her after we got home?”

  Still, he wouldn’t look at her. “We met up a couple of times afterwards, yes,” he said shamefully. “And then . . . it happened. Look, we didn’t mean for it to –”

  “Oh, spare me that bullshit! You know as well as I do that these things don’t ‘just happen’!”

  “I said I was sorry,” he replied, his tone hardening somewhat. “This is hard enough for me as it is, without feeling guilty about you too!”

  “You selfish . . . why shouldn’t you feel guilty, going around behind my back like that? And what else did you think I’d feel?”

  “I’m sorry . . . I just . . . I’m sorry,” Glenn repeated as Tara stared into space, unable to believe what was happening.

  Eventually, Tara got up and walked out, unable to stay in the same room as him any longer. She went into the kitchen and put her head in her hands. In a few months’ time, Glenn – her Glenn – would be the father of some strange girl’s baby.

  What on earth was she going to do?

  The following morning, a bubbly and energetic Liz arrived at the house, Eric having driven her all the way from Castlegate. Tara and Glenn had sat up for hours the previous night discussing everything that had happened, Glenn apologising over and over, Tara trying in vain to come to terms with it all. She’d lain awake for hours in bed afterwards, wondering what on earth would happen to them now. Glenn had insisted he was going to stick by this . . . this Abby (Tara could barely bring herself to utter the girl’s name).

  “She’s carrying my child, and she needs my support,” he told Tara, when she’d calmed down somewhat from the shock of her initial discovery. “You must understand that I have to stand by her.”

  “Do you love her?” Tara asked him.

  Glenn was hesitant, and again he wouldn’t give her a straight answer.

  “I . . . I don’t know. I think so,” he said, while inside Tara’s heart shattered.

  So it seemed he had it all worked out. He was standing by this girl – this soon-to-be mother of his child. Good for him, she’d thought, as she lay wide awake well into the night. He’d had weeks to come to terms with this, to think about what it meant for his future. But what about her? What about what she thought? Didn’t that matter to him at all? Did he think that she’d just stand by, say nothing and accept things as they were? That saying sorry would be enough?

  Tara didn’t know; and that morning she could barely see straight from lack of sleep, let alone get excited about the upcoming trip.

  Earlier that morning, Glenn had gone out to work as usual and had given her a warm hug, before urging her apologetically to “try and enjoy it” and that they’d talk some more on her return.

  Tara hadn’t returned the hug and almost wanted to laugh out loud at the idea of enjoying herself. A jaunt to London was the last thing she wanted or needed after the bombshell he’d landed on her, but at the same time she didn’t want to let Natalie, or indeed Liz, down.

  “I’m so looking forward to this!” her friend squealed, as she excitedly dropped her bags in the hallway and followed Tara through to the kitchen. “And Eric was fine about my going – he actually told me I deserved the break – which was a turn-up for the books, I can tell you, and . . .” Her words trailed off as, in the bright light of the kitchen, she properly caught sight of Tara’s drawn and anxious face. “What’s the matter?” she gasped. “Tara, what’s wrong?”

  “Oh, Liz – everything’s such a mess!” Unable to hide her distress any longer, Tara sank into a kitchen chair and put her head in her hands.

  “What is it? What’s happened?”

  “It’s Glenn!” she cried. “He’s made such a mess of everything!”

  And through her tears, Tara spilled out the whole sorry tale to Liz, including the part where she’d suspected that Glenn might have been the father of Emma’s baby.

  “I suppose that’s the only positive thing to come out of this,” she said afterwards, grimacing through her tears. “If it had been Emma he’d been seeing, I don’t think I could have ever got over that – none of us would.”

  Liz said nothing, and Tara knew the mention of her sister’s name raised the question of her pregnancy and the elusive father once more. In fact, if Glenn had been revealed as the father, then Eric would have been off the hook, wouldn’t he? And all of Liz’s worries would have been at an end. But Tara couldn’t think about that now.

  Eventually Liz shook her head. “I can only imagine what you’re going through,” she said, her voice gentle, “but at least he admitted everything and was willing to talk about it with you. And no matter what he might have done, Glenn is
still a good and decent guy. You’ll work it out between you, I know you will.”

  Tara sniffed. She wasn’t so sure whether or not she wanted to work it out. It might be easier to just throw Glenn out on his ear and let him and his girlfriend go it alone. But deep down, she knew she wouldn’t do that. She and Glenn had been through too much over the years, and despite what had happened, she loved him like crazy.

  “I just don’t know how to deal with it,” she told Liz sadly. “He’s going to be a father soon, he and some slapper he barely knows! He’s said he wants to stand by her, that he has to stand by her. And if he’s so determined to do that, so determined to become involved in this girl and her baby’s life, then, Liz, where on earth does that leave me?”

  Chapter 28

  They arrived at Heathrow that same afternoon, and Tara resolved to try and take her mind off things for a while, at least until they’d met up with Natalie and her boyfriend. Then, as Liz said, the two of them could spend the rest of the weekend “locked in the hotel with chocolate and ice-cream” if Tara preferred. She certainly knew she wouldn’t be up to going shopping in Oxford Street on Saturday afternoon or anything like that. She’d be lucky if she got through the day as it was.

  “I’m so sorry for ruining your weekend,” Tara said, as they travelled towards their hotel in the taxi (which, she thought sadly, had “cost” her a lot more than she’d anticipated – and not financially), “I know how much you were looking forward to this.”

  “Don’t be stupid,” Liz replied, looking horrified that she should think – let alone say – such a thing. “In fact, I think you’re amazing for going through with this at all. If it were me, I know for a fact I’d be buried under the duvet with one of my four-stone bags of Minstrels!”

  Tara raised a smile. “Well, everything’s arranged and, to be honest, I don’t think Natalie would hear of it if I told her we weren’t coming. Let’s just say she’s a pretty determined girl.”

  Liz sat back and stared out at the London streets, which were today covered with mist and rain. “I’m looking forward to meeting her and this lovely boyfriend of hers.”

  “Yes,” Tara replied, hoping she’d be able to get through tonight without letting Natalie know she was off form. She knew how much Natalie was looking forward to their visit and showing off Jay. She really didn’t want to ruin it for her. “It should be an interesting night all right.”

  That evening, Liz checked her appearance in the mirror for what must have been the thousandth time in the last hour. Not that it mattered an iota what she looked like in the scheme of things, she thought guiltily. Here she was, idiotically concerned about her clothes, when poor old Tara, who was getting ready in the hotel room’s en suite bathroom, was going through a terrible time with Glenn.

  Liz still couldn’t believe that he’d got some girl pregnant. Who’d have thought he had it in him? Especially when he’d never really seemed that interested in anything other than computers and bloody football! But, as that old saying went, she thought sadly, it’s the quiet ones you have to watch.

  And now poor Tara was devastated over it.

  Liz sighed. She hated herself for it, but for one brief second when Tara was explaining how she’d suspected that Glenn might have been Emma’s mystery man, she’d almost hoped it were true.

  Not that she’d ever wish something like that on Tara – no way – but from a purely selfish point of view, it would have meant that she could finally rule out it being Eric. And Liz wanted that more than anything else: she wanted to know for certain that her husband hadn’t been unfaithful to her, that his association with Tara’s sister was based purely on an old friendship and nothing more.

  And discovering that someone else was the baby’s father would certainly give her that. Although it was awful to think that Glenn and Emma could have been . . . Liz shivered at the notion of it. Still, there was that horrible tiny part of her that had grasped at the explanation, and now she despised herself for it.

  Why would she want to visit such a thing on Tara – her best friend of many years, the friend who’d been there for her through thick and thin, and in fairness probably suspected too that Liz was worried about Eric’s part in this, but was too much of a friend to vocalise it?

  Instead she’d chosen to support Liz as much as she could, by offering to baby-sit Toby so Liz could spend some time alone with Eric, and getting her out of the house nights – and then at the first opportunity Liz goes and wishes that.

  It was pathetic, she was pathetic, and the more she thought about it, the more she decided that when she got home she was going to face up to the problems in her marriage once and for all. If it meant she had to face up to the fact that Eric had done the unthinkable, then she’d just have to do it. After all, Tara had had to face worse than this, much more, and she’d come through it all, hadn’t she?

  Even now, at her lowest ebb, Tara was still putting a brave face on things – trying to overcome and put aside her hurt and disappointment with Glenn, at least for the moment. And although her friend looked wonderful in the black trousers and Karen Millen jade-green velvet and lace cami-top she was wearing tonight, there was no mistaking the pain behind her eyes.

  “Will we go?” Tara said, as Liz couldn’t help checking her reflection once more.

  God, thought Liz, could she not stop obsessing about stupid trivial things? With all that was going on, she should have more bloody sense! But at this stage, her self-esteem was almost at rock bottom and her insecurity now second nature. Another reason, she thought, to confront the situation when she got home.

  “Are you sure you’re OK to do this?” Liz asked again, deciding that it was about time she started acting like a proper friend. “We could always call Natalie and cancel, say you’ve got a headache or something.”

  Tara managed a rueful laugh. “Believe me, Natalie would be over here with the cavalry and armed with a multi-pack of Paracetamol! No, it’s fine, Liz, honestly, and in all fairness it might be the best thing for me – help me to take my mind off Glenn for a while.”

  “Well, as long as you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure,” Tara replied and the two closed the hotel room door behind them and headed off to the West End to meet Natalie and man-of-the-moment, Jay.

  At first, Liz didn’t actually notice anything out of the ordinary. Anything, that was, other than the restaurant’s wonderful décor and its remarkably welcoming and friendly maitre d’ as he took their coats. And of course she was too busy trying to spot well-known faces amongst the tables to concentrate too much on who they were meeting.

  But as they approached their table, at which sat a woman so incredibly stunning she would make Jennifer Lopez feel like Quasimodo, she noticed Tara suddenly stiffen and then stop dead in her tracks.

  “Are you OK?” she queried, as the gorgeous woman – evidently Natalie – smiled and waved in their direction. Liz put a hand on Tara’s arm. “Because you know we don’t have to do this if you don’t want –”

  “Sweet Jesus, don’t do this to me,” Tara whispered, and when Liz glanced quickly at her friend, she realised that Tara was speaking, not to her, but almost to herself. “Please, don’t do this to me – not now!”

  Confused, Liz followed Tara’s gaze to the table where Natalie and her companion, a tall and, fittingly, equally attractive man, watched their approach.

  Then, properly catching sight of the man, she blinked and looked again, wondering if her eyes were deceiving her. Could it be? But how . . .?

  Then, as she and Tara drew nearer, her friend moving alongside her as if in a daze, Liz took a better look.

  No, it wasn’t who she’d thought it was at first, but by God there was one hell of a resemblance! Obviously Tara had noticed it too, which was why she was acting so strangely.

  But when he finally turned his face to the light, Liz realised she did recognise this man, but when she’d seen him he’d been much younger and much less distinguished, standing alongside her best fr
iend who was dressed in a cerise-pink taffeta dress.

  “Tara,” she said in hushed tones, almost stopping too as the image from the photograph Colm had shown her flashed into her memory, “isn’t that – ?”

  “Yes,” her friend replied shakily, before Liz had a chance to finish the question.

  “Yes, it is.”

  Chapter 29

  Tara didn’t think she could endure this for much longer.

  Natalie, God love her, was trying her best, and Tara’s heart went out to the girl who she knew couldn’t understand why the mood at dinner was so subdued.

  But, mistakenly thinking it was Liz who was the source of discomfort, Natalie spent much of the meal trying to entice her into conversation.

  Liz, of course, had figured things out immediately. How could she not, seeing Jason up close like this?

  Tara still didn’t know how she’d found the strength to shake his hand when Natalie introduced them.

  “Tara, this is Jay. Jay – Tara.”

  The shock and surprise in his eyes mirrored her own. As recognition dawned, she saw his expression turn from amiable to downright disbelieving.

  “It’s . . . nice to meet you,” he stuttered, briefly shaking her hand, while she wished she could just race out the door and never come back.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Liz watching her carefully as they shook hands, but luckily Natalie noticed nothing.

  “And this is Liz.”

  “Hello, very pleased to meet you.” To her credit, and possibly so as not to arouse Natalie’s suspicion, Liz tried to make up for Tara’s lack of enthusiasm as she in turn shook Jason’s hand.

  “And, Liz, as you can probably guess –” Natalie went on, giving Tara a look of feigned disapproval for neglecting to introduce her friend, “I’m Natalie, and I’m so delighted to meet you. Is this your first time in London?”

  “Great to meet you too, and, no, this isn’t my first time, but I haven’t been here in years. Thanks for inviting me.”

  When they went to sit down, Natalie insisted Liz take a seat alongside her at the table, leaving Tara no choice but to sit beside Jason. Natalie continued to chat to Liz about their flight over, if the hotel was OK and what she thought of the restaurant, while Tara, still reeling from the shock of seeing him again, just stared dumbstruck at the menu.