Island Magic

by Michelle Garren Flye

  I might just toss those. When we get back to civilization. If we get back to civilization. She frowned at the thought, then shrugged it off. She’d never exactly counted on being plane-wrecked, but, hey. What the hell? If life handed you lemons… She scanned the attractive, muscular back of the man in front of her. That’s some damn good-looking lemonade. The trail they followed was at least an actual trail, not a hacked out path through the jungle, but it was narrow in places and he went ahead of her in those spots, holding back the branches and vines that had encroached on the path.

  Yes, if she was going to be plane-wrecked on a deserted island, at least it was with a man like Logan. And on an island he obviously knew his way around. And it actually felt good to be dressed in jeans again and not worrying about reapplying her makeup. She smiled a little as a trickle of sweat cooled a path from her hairline to her chin. Damn if the physical exertion wasn’t actually invigorating, too. Exhausting after so many weeks of avoiding it, though. She was very glad when he pulled aside a last set of vines and they stepped out onto a stretch of beach.

  It wasn’t the beach she’d awakened on after the plane crash. This one looked like something off a postcard. She stepped out onto the white sand, looking around in wonder at the palm trees arching toward the calm, blue Caribbean Sea. Sandy jetties curved protective arms around the little bay, and gorgeous flowering bushes and trees completed the heavenly appearance of the place. Unable to resist, Rachel took another wondering step out onto the beach. “I had no idea places like this really existed.”

  “Yeah, it’s a beautiful place.” Logan sounded thoughtful. “I come here when I need some quiet.”

  “You come here?” She tilted her head inquiringly. “Your friend Jake is pretty generous, huh?” As she spoke, she kicked off her shoes, wanting to feel the sand between her toes. Only when she turned back to him did she realize he’d fallen silent. She frowned. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” He took her hand, a gallant smile on his face as he led her toward the waterline. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  She shrugged and surrendered herself to the luxurious feel of silken sand and warm water, willing for once to give up the coarser subjects of abandonment and loss.

  ****

  He had come so close to admitting to her what he’d done to get her alone with him, but if he did, everything he’d accomplished so far would be lost. Earlier, when he’d mentioned rescue, she hadn’t looked hopeful, which meant she didn’t want to leave because she no longer wanted to go back to the life she’d been living and the death she’d no doubt already planned. He could almost see her losing her steadfast guard against him. As if it were as simple as pulling off her shoes so she could feel the sand between her toes.

  He took her to the cove first, showing her the little sea creatures that hid in the calm waters. The spiny sea urchins fascinated her so much she waded into the shallow water, squatting and peering at them curiously. He wished he’d thought to have his team plant snorkeling equipment in the cabin so he could take her out further and show her the angelfish and rainbow grouper that inhabited the coral reefs just off shore. By the time he brought her to the sandy beach where it was safe to swim, he’d lost himself in her innocent wonder of the world around her. And when they returned from a refreshing swim in the uplifting saltwater of the sea, she collapsed willingly next to him, disregarding the sand that clung to her hair, seeming intent on soaking up all the good the sun and sand and surf had to offer her.

  He rolled over on his side, studying the relaxed way she lay, the way her mouth curved just slightly upward at the corners. A smile but as if she wasn’t really thinking about it. Her eyes were closed, her breath easy. She might have been asleep. He stroked a salty strand of hair back from her face, and her eyes fluttered open. “I like you like this.”

  “Like how?” She raised her eyebrows.

  He searched for a word, finally landing on one that came closer than any other. “Free.”

  Her brow furrowed a little, but she didn’t seem to want to reject the thought. “Free.” She repeated it thoughtfully, then sat up, looking around her. Sand coated her perfect shoulder, dripped from her hair, made her look like some goddess who’d just emerged—fully formed but innocent—from the beach. “Maybe it’s this place. I don’t know if I’ve ever been free before. There’s always somebody with some expectation of you. But not here. Here there’s just the beach. And nobody expects anything out of you and you can just be.” She smiled at him. “Maybe that’s what makes it special. Is that why you came here?”

  He hesitated, wondering how much he told her now would be a lie and how much that would damage her later on. Because she would know his lie eventually. She would have to be shown the trick because the woman he loved couldn’t be a mark forever. But what she said was true, even for him. In this place he could be himself. In the jungle, there were no lies. “Yeah.” His voice came out rough and he cleared his throat. “After Nora…died. I came here a lot. Just to…clear it all away. This is where I fell in love with the islands, where I decided I never wanted to go back.”

  “And no regrets, right?” She sighed, wrapping her arms around her knees, gazing out at the hazy blue skyline. “God, it would be so wonderful. To find a place like this where I can just be, you know? No guilt, no past, no present even. Just me. Like I am right now.” She laughed, turning her head toward him, her gaze encompassing him with its clarity. “Maybe here I could put the pieces back together. At least the ones I still want.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “I mean I had everything. Other women envied me. I was on the top of every list, the first to be invited everywhere. Because of my husband, because of my status. And I lost it all.” She shrugged, looking back at the horizon. “And right now I don’t even care. I’m me right now and it’s enough.”

  It was what he’d needed her to say all along, but he felt the tenuousness of it. Like a single strand of a spider web that when it broke would bring down the entire structure. If he pulled too hard, he’d bring down all the morning’s gains.

  Before he could decide how to proceed, she continued. “It sucks, you know? The way some women tear each other down. You’ve met my sister.” She smiled a little as she placed her head on her knees, facing him so he could see her humorless smile. “We were so close as kids. But she always wanted what I had. My doll, my blouse. My husband.” Her face hardened and he wanted to reach for her but held back, some instinct telling him not to touch her.

  “It wasn’t just her, though. It was all of them. The way they looked at me after—“ She shot him a look that told him she wasn’t quite ready to trust him yet. After a second, she continued. “And the gossip. Not that I minded them talking about me. That I could handle. It was the way they whispered when my back was turned, when they thought I couldn’t hear. Up front they were all smiles and sympathy, but when I turned away, they whispered.” She laughed, a harsh sound. “What would they think of me now, do you think? What would they whisper now?” Her face flushed and he knew she wasn’t as shameless as she pretended.

  How much of the past few months did she even remember? Between the alcohol and whatever grief haunted her, he wasn’t sure there was much left except guilt. Impulsively, he reached for her hand. “We all do things after we’ve been hurt that we wouldn’t normally do, you know.”

  She shook her head, a little smile on her lips. “That’s just it. I don’t think I ever knew who I really was…before. And now, well, who am I to say that was me or not? Maybe I’m the slut my sister thinks I am.”

  “I don’t think she thinks you’re a slut.”

  “And I don’t care what she thinks I am.” Her voice fell flat in the space between them. She squeezed his hand as if in apology and pulled away. “That’s what I needed. To feel that I don’t care. Even if I love her, even if she’s all the family I have left, I don’t care what she thinks. Here and now, I am. I could go swimming or run on the beach or just lay here with you all day burning in the tro
pical sun and I could honestly say I don’t give a damn what she’d think of my decision. Or any of them, for that matter.”

  Her voice was rebellious, almost petulant, and he knew what she said wasn’t true. She did care and what she really needed was to admit it. The pain would always be a factor as long as she held on to it. She had to let it all go and to do that she needed to forgive herself. And if she couldn’t forgive those closest to her, how could she expect to forgive herself?

  He sat up next to her, not touching her, wondering for the first time if what she needed was really within reach. He couldn’t keep her here more than another day or two. Her sister would get suspicious if she couldn’t get her on the phone. His friends were good, but he wasn’t sure how long they could keep her at bay with half-truths and misdirection. If I have to tell her too soon, if I have to let her go back, it’ll be for nothing. She’ll hate me and she’ll still hate herself and there’ll be nothing I can do about it.

  “Hey, why so serious?” She poked him, a playful smile on her lips. “We’re here in paradise and nobody cares, right?”

  He searched for a half-truth, something to cover up his real concern. Unable to respond in any other way, he leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. “We’re here, yes. And I like it here with you. But eventually someone will find us.”

  A shadow flitted across her face, as if a cloud had briefly covered the tropical sun. Then she shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, we can’t be far from your island, right?”

  “Not far at all. And they’ll know we’re missing by now.”

  “And you’ve got people who’ll be looking for you.”

  “If only because it’s easier than waiting seven years to declare me dead.” He made his voice light. “Besides, you’ve got people who care about you, too. Your sister, for instance.” He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to protest. “I know, I know. And I’m not saying I like her or that you should forgive her, but she did fly down the minute she knew you were here. She’s not likely to give up on you now.”

  She closed her mouth with a snap and nodded, then she stood and pulled him to his feet. “All the more reason to enjoy paradise while we have it, then.”

  “What did you have in mind?” He quirked an eyebrow, doing his best not to put his arms around her.

  She laughed. “How about another swim? Think you can catch me?”

  The invitation was irresistible and he accepted it willingly, splashing after her through the clear water and wishing he could see through the path he’d chosen as easily as he could see through the water of the Caribbean.

  ****

  By the time they returned to the cabin, Rachel was exhausted, her body literally tired of having fun. She leaned her head on Logan’s arm. It felt good having a tall, strong man beside her to lean on. A clean good, though, unmarred by the sins of the past few weeks. Was it possible he was right? Could she heal? In that moment, she actually felt it might happen.

  But he didn’t know the whole story either. And what would change in the way he looked at her when he knew what she’d done?

  She shook the thought off with a shudder and he glanced at her. “Are you all right?” He put his arm around her waist and she closed her eyes.

  “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Just…tired. I might lie down for a while if that’s all right.” She bit her lip.

  “Sure. I’ve got a couple of steaks defrosting. If they’re ready, I’ll throw them on the grill in an hour or so, but you’ve got plenty of time. Go ahead and lie down.”

  She nodded and turned away, her heart sounding loud in her ears as she squeezed his hand and started for the bedroom. She closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed without removing her swimsuit and jeans. For several minutes she stared vacantly into the distance and then she gave up on holding back the tide of emotion and memory encroaching on her.

  …the heavy traffic…the piercing sun…her head ached…she reached for the visor… She pulled away from the memory, but she could still feel the horror. That moment of terror would stay with her for the rest of her life, if only because of the shame she still felt at her own weakness. Dear God, no wonder Kevin couldn’t look at me. Self-loathing choked her until she forced herself to take a breath, to suck it in past the anguish. If I’d only been in control. If I’d just kept my cool…

  But I wasn’t in control. I lost my baby because I wasn’t in control. She put a hand on her now flat stomach. Dear God, was it possible she’d ever carried a baby there for seven months? Almost long enough. But so far away from the final goal it didn’t even matter. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

  The days after the accident had been horrible. Everyone knew. Her baby was dead and it was all her own fault. The platitudes and offered solace tore holes in her soul and left her bleeding in places that couldn’t be mended. And Kevin, the one person she’d thought she could count on for anything, wasn’t there for her. Because he blamed her, too.

  Anger and pain and the terrible guilt bore down on her again and she curled up on the bed in a fetal position and let the darkness take her.

  ****

  Logan stole into the bedroom half an hour later to cover her with a light blanket. He paused when he noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks. He wanted to brush those tears away, but he knew he needed to get to the dock, to reassure Tony or Andre. Whoever was waiting there for him. He needed to beg them to buy him more time, even one more day. One more day to work whatever magic the island was willing to lend him.

  He noticed the wind had risen a little as he approached the dock. Two figures waited there, hair streaming, clothes pressed against their bodies as if by a large hand. He expected Tony. His friend was worried about the whole experiment and what the consequences might be. The slight female figure next to Tony confused him at first, but as he neared the dock, he quickened his step, a grin widening on his lips. “Sabrina! I didn’t know you were coming down.” He swept the little woman into a hug and she laughed.

  “You didn’t think I was going to miss the greatest magic trick in any of our careers, did you? Seriously, Logan, I can’t believe you pulled it off.” As he set her down, she craned her neck to look up at him. “God, you’re so freaking tall.”

  “No taller than last time.” He smiled down at her. Sabrina, at four foot eleven inches and about a hundred pounds, was one of the biggest personalities he’d ever known. Nothing about her was small in spite of her diminutive form. A special effects engineer—perhaps the special effects engineer as far as magic went—for many Hollywood movies, this was not the first magic trick she’d advised him on.

  “And that’s been far too long,” she replied tartly. “There are movies just waiting for your touch, Logan. When are you coming back? Is this the beginning of it?”

  Coming back. God no. To the life he’d led with Nora? The dreams he’d promised her? “No.”

  His voice must have come out more harshly than he’d intended because she recoiled and he groaned inwardly. “No. I mean—I’m retired, Sabrina. Really. Maybe Andre could—” He glanced at Tony, who shrugged.

  “I’m more concerned with you ending up in jail and taking me and Andre with you.” Tony glanced at Sabrina. “Not to mention you and your crew. If no one else has noticed, I have. We’re all accessories to a crime here.”

  “She won’t press charges.” Logan shoved his hands into his pockets and turned to Tony. “Look. I’m sorry I dragged you guys into this. If you need to leave, I understand. I’ve got the satellite phone and can call for a helicopter at any time. You can walk away clean. But I’m making progress with her. It’s working. This place. I swear to you, it will help her. I just need more time.”

  Tony looked reluctant, but he finally nodded. “How much?”

  “A day. Maybe two.”

  His friend looked at his feet. “There’s a storm on the way.” He said it with the tone of a man pulling the last shell out of his arsenal.

  The rise in the wind made more sense. Loga
n peered at the sky but it seemed clear. “How bad?”

  “It’s not supposed to be bad, but you know how that is around here, Logan, especially on these smaller islands. According to reports, it’ll be here tomorrow evening, and it’ll have straight-line winds up to 30 miles per hour. But that could mean it’ll arrive at noon with 65 mile per hour winds. You just can’t be certain. And it’s her life as well as yours you have to take into account.”

  Logan nodded, thinking. “I understand your concern, but the cabin’s withstood hurricanes. We’re off the beach and protected by the jungle from the worst of it. Those trees have stood for centuries. Anything less than a hurricane isn’t going to convince me to leave. Not when I’m this close.” He glanced at Sabrina again. “So, what do you think? You able to orchestrate our ‘rescue’ day after tomorrow?”

  “It’ll cost you, but I know you’re good for it.” She grinned. “And for the record, I mean, I don’t know this chick, but if you’re willing to move heaven and earth for her like this…well, she’s one lucky woman.”

  Did her voice actually sound wistful? He’d known Sabrina for years, worked with her, knew her ambitions and that she was the youngest of four and the only girl, that she liked her coffee strong and sweet and that she’d never had time for relationships. How much had the last few years changed her, though?

  Before he could react, she’d moved on, turning to indicate a small box on the bench. “Brought you some goodies.” She flashed him a smile and a wink. “In case the island and your charm aren’t enough.”

  “Yeah, thanks.” He struggled to regain his bearings and helped her into the boat. The water that had been so calm on the other side of the island was getting choppy. When he turned back to Tony, he caught his friend’s worried look and nodded. “I get it, okay? I’ll keep an eye on the weather. And I have the satellite phone if things get too bad.”